2 hours ago, Sandnit said:

@Chippy , sorry to read about your bad days. I hope the better days get the upper hand for you in time.

Update: Yesterday was awful for me. The symptoms stayed with me relentlessly almost all day, so different compared to a couple of days ago. This morning I woke up really anxious again, with those familiar "back to square one" thoughts and the "will this ever get better?" fears.
I know I've had these thoughts before during waves, but they still feel very real when you're in the middle of them.
Man, I never expected such a brutal and long wave after such a nice, long and relatively stable period. But I must not forget that I've also had better days during this wave, and that this is not how it will stay ..... It is hard pfffff

Thank you @Sandnit

Sorry yesterday was bad, unfortunately all part of the process. I feel the frustrations, Saturday was bad for me, yesterday MUCH better, today not great again, but not like Saturday bad! Yesterday I just felt so optimistic, like I could touch the end of this! Then you come crashing down without any reason or cause! But you will get there, we are all in this together!

@Chippy , last year it also took a long time to get stable.... but a long and relatively good and long period followed...... We're moving towards stability right? even if the path is messy and frustrating....

11 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

We're moving towards stability right? even if the path is messy and frustrating....

This is what we see in the community!

Thanks @Chippy , we will get through this! Stability is coming!

Update: Despite a very difficult morning and a stressful day at work, yesterday afternoon and evening became a bit calmer again. Not great, not symptom free, but definitely more manageable than I expected after such a rough morning.

This morning is rough again, but i guess these unexpected shifts are good proof are still moving/ healing ....

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Update: Despite a very difficult morning and a stressful day at work, yesterday afternoon and evening became a bit calmer again. Not great, not symptom free, but definitely more manageable than I expected after such a rough morning.

This morning is rough again, but i guess these unexpected shifts are good proof are still moving/ healing ....

Glad things eased later on in the day yesterday for you, hope today does the same. Healing is happening :)

The morning was brutal again..... Hoping this wave will lose momentum soon ......

Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that this passes for you soon @Sandnit 💜

Update: The inner restlessness is very strong today, especially when the anxiety peaks. In those moments I find it hard to sit still or really listen to conversations ....just want to move or something.

Is this a common withdrawal symptom for others too?

2 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Is this a common withdrawal symptom for others too?

Absolutely. Anxiety isn’t my worst symptom these days, but when it does peak I find I need to move around, get out of the house, go to the gym, etc. Sitting with it just feels so intolerable. I think this might be what other people mean when they refer to “akathisia” but I’m not entirely sure.

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Update: The inner restlessness is very strong today, especially when the anxiety peaks. In those moments I find it hard to sit still or really listen to conversations ....just want to move or something.

Is this a common withdrawal symptom for others too?

Yes, akathisia, so common unfortunately.

I experience it at times from mild to unbearable, when it's at its peak the whole body is involved with burning, muscle stiffness etc.

So sorry you're experiencing it now @Sandnit hard to bear but as it comes it goes, distractions, moderate exercise may help but for the most part, it goes away on its own.

Hope it ease for you very soon xx

@SarahMc , @Fullhealing and @Chippy , thanks again for your great support!

Sitting still and listening to conversations can feel almost impossible at times, so it's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this.

Thankfully, I have never experienced the extreme form that you describe @Fullhealing

It is such a rollercoaster at the moment.Yesterday and today have shown me again that as intense as these feelings are, they do shift. So i'm soldiering on ..... And hoping and praying for some longer reliëf soon.

Update: Another really rough morning here. I slept a little longer last night, which was nice, but woke up with the familiar anxiety and lots of muscle twitching again.

I noticed those irrational "wave fear" thoughts popping up again. I can see they don't really make sense, but they still feel very real in the moment. Sound familiar?

I had actually forgotten that last Thursday and Friday contained some genuinely better moments, which shows how quickly a rough morning can make me forget the progress that is there.

Still carrying the wave, hoping for those more sustainable better days to return soon.... This is hard🌿❤️ :::

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

I can see they don't really make sense, but they still feel very real in the moment. Sound familiar?

Oh yes! When I have neuro-anxiety, it was very stong but felt irrational. Any anxiety I had experienced in the past was much lower in level and always I could pinpoint the cause and it would lift once I was out of the situation, neuro anxiety was just out of nowhere and went when I chose to!

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

I had actually forgotten that last Thursday and Friday contained some genuinely better moments, which shows how quickly a rough morning can make me forget the progress that is there.

I know this feeling, like you can't belive it will ever be better when you are in it! But remember them, there will be more!

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Still carrying the wave, hoping for those more sustainable better days to return soon.... This is hard🌿❤️ :::

I think it is possibly the hardest journey you can go through! Makes us stronger and more resiliant after all this!

@Chippy , thank you for your time!!

What you describe about neuro-anxiety really is exactly what i experience.

It is just so intense at the moment.... In moments like this it feels so permanent..... I nead a break from this so hard pffffff

14 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

It is just so intense at the moment.... In moments like this it feels so permanent..... I nead a break from this so hard pffffff

I know only too well what that feels like, there is nothing to do but let your body float over it! So hard I know! I had neuro emotions for the first 8 months on and off from stopping Mirt, then it just stopped happening.

@Chippy, appreciate your replies sommuch!

What makes this recent intensity so hard is that before this wave started, I was fortunate to have had a long and fairly stable period without all of this. Even during a large part of this current long wave, things were much more manageable than they are right now.

I honestly expected the wave to gradually fade out and didn't expect this level of intensity to return again. That's probably why it shocked me so much. But i remember during a long wave last year it was also like this.....

But I guess the fact that symptoms can still shift and change means the nervous system is still doing its healing work right?

Trying to keep floating over it, even though today that feels incredibly hard.

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

appreciate your replies sommuch!

My pleasure!

This journey is certainly unpredictable. I think we all feel we have a handle on the symptoms patterns and know where it will go next, only to find it doesn't go as we expect. Makes it all the more cruel! But 100% healing is happening! More symptoms=More healing

@Chippy

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

This journey is certainly unpredictable.

Yes, so true. I guess the only things we really know are that healing is happening and that better days are ahead. The difficult part is that we never know when.

Again, thank you so much for your support. Wishing you continued healing and many good days ahead too.

9 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

I guess the only things we really know are that healing is happening and that better days are ahead.

100%

9 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

The difficult part is that we never know when.

This is the challenge.

9 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Again, thank you so much for your support. Wishing you continued healing and many good days ahead too.

Pleasure. And thank you :)

Update:

Friday was difficult, although less intense than the worst days earlier this week. The extreme neuro emotions and big spikes seemed a bit less, but the underlying anxiety was still very much there.

Yesterday was very up and down. I managed a family birthday and that went reasonably well, although I had some setbacks afterwards. Things settled a bit again later in the evening.

This morning feels different again. Maybe a little calmer at times, but the recent really rough days have made me cautious. I don't really know what to make of it yet. It feels different, but still very "blehh". I don't feel like doing much and can't feel much joy at the moment. The chemical anxiety is still underneath and sometimes rises again. So far from good, but trying not to overanalyse every change.

I think it is good to see this as just another phase in the healing process right??

Praying and hoping for better days and windows for all of us. 🌿❤️

3 hours ago, Sandnit said:

I think it is good to see this as just another phase in the healing process right??

I think it’s totally normal for symptoms and patterns to change day to day! Mine do for sure. My overall trend trying to stabilize has been some better days, some worse days, and veeeeery slow positive progress with a lot of setbacks along the way. So I think that any positive progress is a good sign. And if it just feels different, but not better, that’s ok too — progress will definitely come 😊

Thanks @SarahMc

That makes a lot of sense.

The really bad days from last week have made me a bit afraid to trust any changes too quickly, but I do recognize some small encouraging signs so that positive.

Healing is happening and stability will come.

update and perhaps just needing to vent a little..... I'm having a really hard time

The last couple of weeks have been really difficult and this wave has definitely humbled me. There have been a lot of ups and downs, chemical anxiety, early waking, muscle twitching, and some days where I just feel very "blehh" and don't enjoy much.

What makes it hard is that I had a long stable period before this and I honestly hoped the wave would already be fading by now. Instead, it seems to have changed shape several times, which has made me cautious and scared.

At the same time, I do notice some encouraging signs here and there. The intense neuro emotions seem less prominent than during the worst days, I still have moments where I feel more like myself, and I can still enjoy small things from time to time.

I think I just needed to vent a little today. The long duration of this wave worries me and I start comparing this one with previous waves, even though I know healing is rarely linear.

I've had beautiful stable periods before, Why is this taking so long .....pppfffff

Sorry for rambling....

Praying and hoping for better days and windows for all of us. 🌿❤️

45 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

I think I just needed to vent a little today.

Vent away!

45 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

The long duration of this wave worries me and I start comparing this one with previous waves, even though I know healing is rarely linear.

I've had beautiful stable periods before, Why is this taking so long .....pppfffff

I know, and Im sorry. The stress of wondering if when you'll stablise might not be helpful. Perhaps consider setting a date in your diary where you will check back in with yourself on your progress and then until that date comes mentally resign yourself to the hold and just take each day as it comes?