59 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Update: Had a few reasonably good days again lately, which was really encouraging.

But yesterday afternoon things shifted again and this morning I’m not feeling great either.

I keep getting scared that this is just how it’s going to stay, even though I’ve had better days again recently.

Part of me really wants to continue tapering, but it’s probably better to hold still for now?

Sometimes these setbacks and waves really make me doubt myself.

This process really is such a rollercoaster.

Wishing everyone calmer days and healing 🙏

It is very good you have better days!

I would wait till things settle, and you can see a clear period of time where things are around a 1-3/10, so we would call this 'WD normal' or a base line, before tapering. How long that period is up to you, but a few good days is more a window rather than WD normal imo.

Please don't doubt yourself, your body is amazing, trust it.

It is so much better to be stable and then taper.

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy ,I really appreciate your reply and reassurance. It makes a lot of sense.

The way I feel right now is probably around a 5–6/10, while the better days I had recently were more around 1–4/10.

So I guess it’s best to wait a bit longer and let things stabilize more again before making any further taper decisions 🙏

7 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Thanks @Chippy ,I really appreciate your reply and reassurance. It makes a lot of sense.

The way I feel right now is probably around a 5–6/10, while the better days I had recently were more around 1–4/10.

So I guess it’s best to wait a bit longer and let things stabilize more again before making any further taper decisions 🙏

Yes I think so, you want the worse days to be a 3 imo. Slow is the new fast.

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Yes I think so, you want the worse days to be a 3 imo. Slow is the new fast.

@Chippy haha made me laugh...thank you

Update: overall I’ve actually had quite a few pretty good days lately, which I’m very grateful for.

I do still feel quite tired a lot of the time though, and this morning is a bit less again. But I guess that still fits within the process and stabilizing?

Wishing everyone healing and better days ahead 🙏

13 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Update: overall I’ve actually had quite a few pretty good days lately, which I’m very grateful for.

I do still feel quite tired a lot of the time though, and this morning is a bit less again. But I guess that still fits within the process and stabilizing?

Wishing everyone healing and better days ahead 🙏

Sounds like progress to me! And yes this process of stablising can be very up and down and tiring too! Overall you seem to be heading in the right direction I think!

21 hours ago, Chippy said:

Sounds like progress to me! And yes this process of stablising can be very up and down and tiring too! Overall you seem to be heading in the right direction I think!

@Chippy , Thanks so much for your reply!

Yes, I do think I’m heading in the right direction, but things seem much less intense now while still lingering and morphing into different symptoms. Anxiety is definitely less, although it still lingers a bit in the background sometimes.

For instance, the last couple of days I’ve been really cold, while normally I’m always warm. Also some headaches here and there.

I think I’ll wait a bit longer before resuming the taper again.

57 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

I think I’ll wait a bit longer before resuming the taper again.

I would certainly do this. You need to find your 'WD Normal' baseline. Everyone is different, but broadly this is 1-3/10 severity symptoms for a few weeks I would say.

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Yes, I do think I’m heading in the right direction

I'm not ignoring everything else you've said, but I do want to pick this out and highlight it.

I think this is all that truly matters. If this is the case, the only thing to do is look after yourself the best you can to get through the time so you can keep heading that way.

23 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I would certainly do this. You need to find your 'WD Normal' baseline. Everyone is different, but broadly this is 1-3/10 severity symptoms for a few weeks I would say.

@Chippy @Luke , What I find difficult is figuring out what “WD normal” actually is for me at the moment.

But I think it will probably become clear naturally over time, just like it eventually did after my long hold at 4.5 mg. At some point back then I slowly realized things had stabilized more again without really forcing or analyzing it.

So I guess patience is probably key again here 🙏

Thank you so much for your replies and support !!

1 minute ago, Sandnit said:

ut I think it will probably become clear naturally over time,

I think this is key. Everyone is different.

Update:

The last days have been a bit up and down. Overall things still seem less intense than before, i dont know really..... It feels a little bit stuck at the moment.

Sometimes I catch myself getting discouraged when I hit another bump after a few better days, but I’m trying to remind myself that stabilization seems to come with a lot of fluctuations.

Part of me really wants to taper again and move forward, but another part of me knows I probably still need a bit more stabilization and patience.

This really is such a balancing act 🙏

12 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

The last days have been a bit up and down. Overall things still seem less intense than before, i dont know really..... It feels a little bit stuck at the moment.

You’re not stuck. You’re moving forward even though it doesn’t feel like it.

12 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Sometimes I catch myself getting discouraged when I hit another bump after a few better days, but I’m trying to remind myself that stabilization seems to come with a lot of fluctuations.

So common. We all feel disheartened on the worse days. It’s very natural and normal. It’s reminding yourself of those better days and the reality of waves and windows.

13 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Part of me really wants to taper again and move forward, but another part of me knows I probably still need a bit more stabilization and patience.

We all want to make progress in life. Feel a sense of control and direction. In this in particular, learning we have little is important. By choosing to hold and do nothing you’re actually making progress and laying the ground work for a better taper. One day at a time.

Hi Sandnit - just wanted to say hi as I have read (some of) your thread. I can relate to your situation very well. Ups and downs - bump after better days - feeling stucked at times. Happy when windows appearing and yes, now the process is turning - but then bad days return. I guess we're on the right path and will get better over time - we must believe that; I believe it when I'm having windows and after all I'm much better today than a year ago ...

Hi @Sandnit and @recov70 . This is also my exact pattern at the moment. Better days (not full windows or anything, just days when my symptoms are kind of background noise and I feel a sense of optimism) and worse days. But no clear sense of forward progress. It’s easy to feel stuck but then I read all the stories on here and I can believe that eventually I’ll get to a better place. We’re all in this together.

@Chippy Thanks, I really needed that reminder. The fluctuations make it hard to see progress sometimes, but you’re right, holding is probably progress too, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

6 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Update:

The last days have been a bit up and down. Overall things still seem less intense than before, i dont know really..... It feels a little bit stuck at the moment.

Sometimes I catch myself getting discouraged when I hit another bump after a few better days, but I’m trying to remind myself that stabilization seems to come with a lot of fluctuations.

Part of me really wants to taper again and move forward, but another part of me knows I probably still need a bit more stabilization and patience.

This really is such a balancing act 🙏

Hi @Sandnit I, like many here, share the constant hesitation about when the right momentum, finding this fragile balance is so difficult and usually only known in retrospect, so most importantly is to be attentive to your body as you already do. If there's still doubt it is probably not the time as well being aware to what is happening around you. If there are more stressful times, then it is better to hold, I know so well the desire to be behind it in a clean body, but it is a long, non-linear process that tests us from all sides. so yes, patience and time are the key.

Keep holding on to the good moments that will get longer and much better over time, much luck on your way forward

Edited May 20May 20 by Fullhealing

@SarahMc and @recov70 , Thank you both for posting. It genuinely helps seeing others describe almost the exact same pattern and feelings. There’s something reassuring about the recognition, especially on the days where it feels a bit stuck or uncertain. It helps me keep perspective and remember this up-and-down process seems to be very common.

@Fullhealing , Thank you so much for your beautiful words and thoughtful reply.

What you said about only really knowing these things in retrospect makes a lot of sense and honestly describes this process perfectly. Finding that fragile balance is really difficult sometimes.

I also think you’re right that the good moments are important to hold on to, even when things still fluctuate.

Wishing you lots of continued healing and stability on your journey as well 🙏

Update: At the moment I’m in a very bad spot again. Besides the usual withdrawal sensitivity and fluctuations, I also got very emotionally triggered by worries in my personal life.

My nervous system reacted really strongly to it and I noticed how quickly my mind went into fear, overthinking and worst-case scenarios. Is it common to still be this sensitive and fragile under stress, even after having better days recently?

I really hope this doesn’t set me back again.

Hoping things calm down again 🙏

2 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Update: At the moment I’m in a very bad spot again. Besides the usual withdrawal sensitivity and fluctuations, I also got very emotionally triggered by worries in my personal life.

My nervous system reacted really strongly to it and I noticed how quickly my mind went into fear, overthinking and worst-case scenarios. Is it common to still be this sensitive and fragile under stress, even after having better days recently?

I really hope this doesn’t set me back again.

Hoping things calm down again 🙏

It is so common, we are very sensitive to stress. Also neuro emotions are experienced through the eyes of our minds, have a read if you have not already.

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

Thanks @Chippy , this actually connects a lot of dots for me.

I’m starting to realize a the part that makes the struggle a lot harder is that I immediately go into “fixing/control mode” whenever something emotionally difficult happens. And with a sensitized nervous system everything feels so much bigger and more urgent than it probably really is.

I think I need to learn that things don’t always have to be fully solved before I can calm down again. That’s very hard for me, but probably an important lesson in this whole process 🙏

I just hope this doesnt set back the stabilization proces to much.....

2 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

I immediately go into “fixing/control mode”

this is very common instead, I think it is part of the reason we end up on the drugs in the first place. Learning to accept and let go of things bring such peace and helps calm a destablised nervous system down.

3 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

but probably an important lesson in this whole process 🙏

I do think we will all have super powers the other side of all this!

3 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Update: At the moment I’m in a very bad spot again. Besides the usual withdrawal sensitivity and fluctuations, I also got very emotionally triggered by worries in my personal life.

My nervous system reacted really strongly to it and I noticed how quickly my mind went into fear, overthinking and worst-case scenarios. Is it common to still be this sensitive and fragile under stress, even after having better days recently?

I really hope this doesn’t set me back again.

Hoping things calm down again 🙏

So very common, a bright window and then boom, wd hell that erases all good and paints everything, past, present, future in black, yes, this is the power of those evil chemicals but it fades with time, you still moving forward just in a non-linear way.

We are all with you on this..

Hope it passes for you soon @Sandnit