Thank you so much for the kind words @Chippy. Luckily I have some very cuddly pets who love to spend a day on the couch with me, so that helps a lot. As does chatting with all the lovely people on here.

I hope tomorrow’s a better day for you 💜

1 minute ago, SarahMc said:

Luckily I have some very cuddly pets who love to spend a day on the couch

Ah that sounds perfect. 😃

I’ve got it crossed tomorrow is a headache free day for you. Xxx

I’m struggling to provide meaningful updates right now because everything feels so unpredictable. The second I say I think I’m improving, I’m thrown right back in a wave. The second I say a particular symptom seems to have resolved, it comes right back. On the other hand, the second I say I’m only getting worse, the next day is better. The universe seems to be telling me that I’m a tiny, insignificant human who shouldn’t try to predict anything 😂

So all I’m going to say for now is that in the past couple weeks I’ve had a good number of better days — days where I still had a good handful of symptoms, but I could function well and felt positive and optimistic. I’ve also had a few bad days spent mostly on the couch, but they felt more tolerable than the worst days I’ve had before. I’m not going to make any predictions for what that means for the weeks to come, but it’s been nice to get a bit of a reprieve.

Wishing good healing to all you lovely humans 💜

Hang onto those good days when the waves come. You know you are recovering--that's what's important. Waves are just bumps (or deep potholes) in the road. But you're making progress!

@SarahMc Im sorry things have been up and down for you still. What I read when i look at your update above, is progress and more than anything a very typical pattern of symptoms that is very much in line with what others see whilst stablising.

You are doing great IMO, you have such a positive mindset around all of this, and even on your worse days you are still here supporting others. Time will settle all this for you I have no doubt at all. Sending lots of love and positive healing vibes your way. xxx

18 hours ago, SarahMc said:

I’m struggling to provide meaningful updates right now because everything feels so unpredictable. The second I say I think I’m improving, I’m thrown right back in a wave. The second I say a particular symptom seems to have resolved, it comes right back. On the other hand, the second I say I’m only getting worse, the next day is better. The universe seems to be telling me that I’m a tiny, insignificant human who shouldn’t try to predict anything 😂

So all I’m going to say for now is that in the past couple weeks I’ve had a good number of better days — days where I still had a good handful of symptoms, but I could function well and felt positive and optimistic. I’ve also had a few bad days spent mostly on the couch, but they felt more tolerable than the worst days I’ve had before. I’m not going to make any predictions for what that means for the weeks to come, but it’s been nice to get a bit of a reprieve.

Wishing good healing to all you lovely humans 💜

Indeed crazy how quickly and intensely it changes, hopefully with time the good will outweigh the bad and things will be more stable for you @SarahMc

I praise your amazing ability to cope with this, with all the difficulties you still provide strength and support to others which shows how strong you are!

Wishing you long bright days, which will come a little further ahead 🩷

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

On 5/27/2026 at 6:13 PM, SarahMc said:

Luckily I have some very cuddly pets who love to spend a day on the couch with me

My cat is a huge source of support.

Thank you so much @mstimc60 @Chippy and @Fullhealing. I don’t feel very strong or positive a lot of the time, but I’m trying my best. 😅

You all inspire me and I really value your support. Looking forward to those long, bright days ahead for all of us.

1 hour ago, Luke said:

My cat is a huge source of support.

My days would be much longer and more painful without my pets to keep me company. The other day when I was dealing with a migraine my cat George spent almost the entire day sleeping on top of me.

Side note — George is named after the character George Smiley from the John le Carre novels. I think he was pretty well known in the UK…?

40 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

The other day when I was dealing with a migraine my cat George spent almost the entire day sleeping on top of me.

Aww so sweet!

I have 4 at home each to their own needs so never a dull moment lol

Hope the migraine is much better today xx

41 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I have 4 at home each to their own needs so never a dull moment lol

Oh my gosh, 4 cats!! You must have yours hands full! They really are funny creatures aren’t they? Mine is endlessly entertaining. 12 years old and he still does his morning and evening wind sprints around the house 😂

43 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope the migraine is much better today xx

Thanks for thinking of me. The migraine is gone for now but I didn’t sleep very well last night and am very cloudy today with a lot of negative thoughts. I saw on your thread that you’re starting to feel better though, I’m so glad 😊 Hope the progress continues!

48 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

Oh my gosh, 4 cats!! You must have yours hands full! They really are funny creatures aren’t they? Mine is endlessly entertaining. 12 years old and he still does his morning and evening wind sprints around the house 😂

Thanks for thinking of me. The migraine is gone for now but I didn’t sleep very well last night and am very cloudy today with a lot of negative thoughts. I saw on your thread that you’re starting to feel better though, I’m so glad 😊 Hope the progress continues!

Oh sorry to hear about today @SarahMc troubled night certainly doesn't help, hope the clouds clear up and you'll feel much better, glad though that the migraine is at least behind you.

And thank you, yes today I'm more myself, the hormones that used to come like a Swiss watch with a clear knowledge of when I become a hormonal bitch now with age are getting blurry which makes this unpredictable process even more crazy but it is what it is, I will have to learn to navigate through it.

And my cats, yes my hands are full but I am content, definitely my favorite animal although I also have a dog but over the years he has become more of a cat than a dog lol

Say hi to George from me, he sound like a sweetheart 😺

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

the hormones that used to come like a Swiss watch with a clear knowledge of when I become a hormonal bitch now with age are getting blurry which makes this unpredictable process even more crazy

I don’t know if you or others have the same experience, but for me I also find that this WD process has screwed with my hormones so I’ve been having weird breakouts and my period has been strange and irregular. Crazy how these drugs affect us in so many different ways!

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

And my cats, yes my hands are full but I am content, definitely my favorite animal although I also have a dog but over the years he has become more of a cat than a dog lol

Say hi to George from me, he sound like a sweetheart 😺

Yes George is my first love — when I met my husband he didn’t like cats, but I said you get me and George or neither of us 😂

Your house sounds lovely and cozy, I love a house full of pets 🥰

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

I don’t know if you or others have the same experience, but for me I also find that this WD process has screwed with my hormones so I’ve been having weird breakouts and my period has been strange and irregular.

Since my WD started my period got so messed up. The cycle shortened so I had my period twice a month for months. It was terrible. Finally, this month my period came after 30 days (which was my usual cycle)! I am counting it as another sign of healing and getting back to normal. 🙏🏻

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

I don’t know if you or others have the same experience, but for me I also find that this WD process has screwed with my hormones so I’ve been having weird breakouts and my period has been strange and irregular. Crazy how these drugs affect us in so many different ways!

I know it distrups everything although I don't know the mechanics of it, for me personally, the drug itself, right from the start, without withdrawal, was a real pain. I didn't even suffer from PMS, and after a year I developed PMDD, acne, what not and from there it continued for more than two decades until my current peri and too add it to wd now is such a horrible mix.

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

Yes George is my first love — when I met my husband he didn’t like cats, but I said you get me and George or neither of us 😂

That's sweet and I know lol I also package deal everywhere I go!

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

Your house sounds lovely and cozy, I love a house full of pets 🥰

Thank you 🩷 I don't have husband or kids so they are my life, have to keep it cozy for all of us 😺🐶

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

39 minutes ago, Marina said:

Since my WD started my period got so messed up. The cycle shortened so I had my period twice a month for months. It was terrible. Finally, this month my period came after 30 days (which was my usual cycle)! I am counting it as another sign of healing and getting back to normal. 🙏🏻

Wow twice a month, that's so rough 😩 Really glad this month was normal, hope it stays that way for you.

29 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I know it distrups everything although I don't know the mechanics of it, for me personally, the drug itself, right from the start, without withdrawal, was a real pain. I didn't even suffer from PMS, and after a year I developed PMDD, acne, what not and from there it continued for more than two decades until my current peri and too add it to wd now is such a horrible mix.

That's so horrible, I didn't know that could be a side effect! I guess nothing about these drugs should surprise me anymore 🫠

Honestly, every day I'm so truly grateful I found this forum -- I think if I hadn't, I'd be convinced I had like 5 different diseases at this point, rather than there just being one cause of all of this awfulness.

The past couple days I’ve been thrown back into a pretty brutal wave with some of the symptoms I have the hardest time dealing with — bad sleep, anxiety, and deep depression and feelings of hopelessness. These are all symptoms that have at times fully disappeared, which I hope is a good sign, but man do they pack a punch when they come back.

I’ve been spiralling a bit while lying awake the past couple hours (was up at 3:15 am this morning) and need to get my thoughts out. I apologize in advance for the negativity. I fully realize that when I’m out of this wave things will look very different.

I’m currently on medical leave, but before all this I worked as a lawyer for an environmental charity. My employer has been truly amazing through all this (though obviously they just think I’m having a mental health crisis). Yesterday I had coffee with my boss and he basically said they want me back and are willing to make extensive accommodations for me, including significant changes to my job description so cut out some of the more stressful parts of the job. And on top of that, no pressure on timing — I can come back whenever I’m ready. So basically the perfect scenario for me.

I should feel relief and gratitude and even pride that my work is valuable enough that they’re willing to go to significant lengths to keep me. But all I can think right now is what if I never stabilize where I am and it’s years before I’m ready to work again? Ideally I would stabilize here, go back to work, and then taper as slowly as it takes — but what if that’s not possible? I know that’s catastrophizing and just last week I was feeling like I was making decent progress, but I just need to get those thoughts out somewhere.

Anyways, thanks for listening, and apologies again for the negativity. Hoping this wave passes soon. Appreciate you all 💜

@SarahMc I'm sorry to hear you also got hit by a wave. It is so hard being back in it after an easier period.

It is great that your boss is so understanding and accommodating. I understand your fears, but maybe you should give it a try and see how it goes.

I hope you feel better soon. 🙏🏻❤️

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

The past couple days I’ve been thrown back into a pretty brutal wave with some of the symptoms I have the hardest time dealing with — bad sleep, anxiety, and deep depression and feelings of hopelessness. These are all symptoms that have at times fully disappeared, which I hope is a good sign, but man do they pack a punch when they come back.

I’ve been spiralling a bit while lying awake the past couple hours (was up at 3:15 am this morning) and need to get my thoughts out. I apologize in advance for the negativity. I fully realize that when I’m out of this wave things will look very different.

I’m currently on medical leave, but before all this I worked as a lawyer for an environmental charity. My employer has been truly amazing through all this (though obviously they just think I’m having a mental health crisis). Yesterday I had coffee with my boss and he basically said they want me back and are willing to make extensive accommodations for me, including significant changes to my job description so cut out some of the more stressful parts of the job. And on top of that, no pressure on timing — I can come back whenever I’m ready. So basically the perfect scenario for me.

I should feel relief and gratitude and even pride that my work is valuable enough that they’re willing to go to significant lengths to keep me. But all I can think right now is what if I never stabilize where I am and it’s years before I’m ready to work again? Ideally I would stabilize here, go back to work, and then taper as slowly as it takes — but what if that’s not possible? I know that’s catastrophizing and just last week I was feeling like I was making decent progress, but I just need to get those thoughts out somewhere.

Anyways, thanks for listening, and apologies again for the negativity. Hoping this wave passes soon. Appreciate you all 💜

Truly sorry it hit so hard @SarahMc thanks for sharing and nothing to apologize for, this as we unfortunately know the nature of the waves, painting everything with a terrible negativity, let off steam as it is, we all accept you in any situation.

It is amazing that you have such a supportive boss, work like any distraction is so important, it may be that under conditions that you can determine you will be able to integrate back, it can certainly be very helpful not to sink deeper but of course the decision will come according to your ability.

Hang in there, it is so tough but time will take its course and it will get better.

Wishing you long bright window very soon 🙏🩷

Thanks @Marina and @Fullhealing 🙏🏼

I did try to go back to work late last year when I was feeling more stable (pre additional med changes) and the stress made me much worse. I’m on leave now until at least Sept 1 and I’m hoping that with another few months to stabilize, plus efforts to make my job less stressful, I’ll be ready for a slow transition back. On better days I think I’ll for sure be ready and on worse days I think it’s impossible. But I’m trying my best to be zen and accept that I only have so much control over my recovery 😅

Looking forward to nice, bright windows for us all 💜

Hey @SarahMc

I hope today is better for you, sleep and anxiety are certainly two of the hardest symptoms to deal with.

It is great you have an employer that is being so accommodating and understanding, definitely a testament to your ability and hard work!

I think it is really difficult for all of us to feel a sense of hope things will improve when in a wave. Trying to learn to be present in the day and just accept, it soooo hard sometimes, but really I think it's the answer to life problems in many ways. If we can just learn to let the future take care of itself and be present in the moment, I think we would be all much happier in life in general, and as I've said before, probably not need the drugs in the first place! Oh the irony!

I have it all crossed by the end of the summer your will feel more able to go back to work and those reduced levels will keep the stress low, which is definatley what you need atm.

Hope today is a peaceful one xxxx

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hope today is a peaceful one xxxx

Thanks @Chippy. I managed to get 8 ish hours of sleep last night, if a bit broken, and am feeling calmer this morning.

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Trying to learn to be present in the day and just accept, it soooo hard sometimes, but really I think it's the answer to life problems in many ways. If we can just learn to let the future take care of itself and be present in the moment, I think we would be all much happier in life in general

You’re right of course. I’ve spent my entire life worrying about the future and it’s a hard habit to break 😂 but there are moments when I can get there and feel the peace it brings. Practice makes perfect I suppose!

19 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

managed to get 8 ish hours of sleep last night, if a bit broken, and am feeling calmer this morning.

That’s awesome! So pleased. 😀

19 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

I’ve spent my entire life worrying about the future and it’s a hard habit to break 😂 but there are moments when I can get there and feel the peace it brings. Practice makes perfect I suppose!

It is hard to do! And you are right, acceptance is a continued practice rather than a goal or destination.

How great to hear that you slept well @SarahMc hopefully it's a sign of a stable long window! 🩷

I agree with @Chippy this journey, as brutal as it is, teaches us, among other lessons that will serve us well the power of the moment, we are often so caught up in the future, past that we forget to take a deep breath and enjoy what we already have, definitely work in progress for all of us but the most rewarding one.

Hope your day continues peacefully xxx

Edited May 31May 31 by Fullhealing

38 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope your day continues peacefully xxx

Thanks, the morning is going well so far 😊 I’m hoping it’s a sign of stabilization that my waves seem to be getting shorter and windows more plentiful. We shall see!

Thinking of you today @Fullhealing, hope you see the other side of this wave very soon 💜