1 hour ago, HopeOfHealing said:

But underneath all of this there is still a huge fear: what if I can’t endure this? What if nothing changes? It is difficult not to think about it when this affects the very foundation of my life.

Have you had moments, or longer periods of a week or more, when things were so difficult physically and emotionally that you genuinely wondered whether you could endure it?

4 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Somehow I just feel the need to write honestly about how I really feel.

In the middle of this enormous struggle, I am seeing many things about my life differently. I see where I have wasted time and energy on things that really didn’t matter. And even more, I see the value of what I have been given, especially my family. They are worth fighting for until the very end.

But underneath all of this there is still a huge fear: what if I can’t endure this? What if nothing changes? It is difficult not to think about it when this affects the very foundation of my life.

Have you had moments, or longer periods of a week or more, when things were so difficult physically and emotionally that you genuinely wondered whether you could endure it?

I consider myself quite a strong person, but this experience has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I never imagined that this kind of existential suffering was even possible. That is the best way I can describe it. My body and mind create sensations that feel impossible to tolerate for a long time.

I keep reminding myself of what you have told me: the only way out is through.

I pray to God and rely on Him when my own strength feels like it is running out. And I keep trying to hold onto the thought that this is withdrawal and that this state can change.

I appreciate every comment and every bit of support more than I can say.

I hope there will come a time when I can be here helping someone else through this. And I hope there will come a time when I can begin a new life with a completely different understanding of what truly has value.

@HopeOfHealing . I hope things improve a lot more for you. Since you are off medication, keep holding. These medications really mess our nervous system making things worst than what it actually is. For Instance, things that I could handle with no problem, now I jump into panic once in a while. People that I used to handle with no problems, now, i also jump into panic causing me all these out of breath feelings, chest pressure, anxiety, etc. One thing I have noticed is that it's not as intense as it was 21 months ago. Yet, I'm not there. Sometimes, my mind bring people in my head that it even causes me fear sensation. The brain and nervous system is healing and it's the reason for all these non sense feelings.

All we can do is to wait patiently for a nice window and hope for shorter waves... the body is healing and it's the reason for the symptoms we are feeling. Look beyond the pain and think about the light ahead of you after this is over....

Prayers for you....

On 8/22/2026 at 3:51 PM, HopeOfHealing said:

That is exactly how it feels. Barely can eat anything and that feeling if being squeezed. But can this really be so far out? ChatGPT says yes, but it is hard to believe still. Just seems so weird.

It quoted:

• Claudius: At 18 months off, he described being in one of his worst waves, almost unable to function and considering going back on medication. Around 20 months, he then had his first major window and later reported being much closer to recovered.

• DaBro: Reported major debilitating waves at 12, 15 and 18 months, each lasting about five weeks. Interestingly, the symptoms differed between waves, while his windows were becoming better.

• persistente: At 20 months off everything, wrote that she felt like she was “losing my mind” and questioned whether it could possibly still be withdrawal. Her history included sertraline, mirtazapine, insomnia and waves/windows.

• Alexander: At 18 months off Paxil, described hitting a prolonged wave and not sleeping properly for weeks.

• Winner51: Had periods of total insomnia, including nights with less than an hour of sleep, during mirtazapine withdrawal. By 21 months, he reported sleeping like he had before mirtazapine.

• DaBro’s recovery story: His worst wave occurred around 15 months, lasted roughly 10 weeks, and insomnia remained part of the picture. Improvement became clearer around 18 months, he returned to work at two years, and later reported good sleep.

• GirlfromD: At 12 months off, she described a very bad wave with inability to function, intense anxiety and heart palpitations. At 18 months she reported improvement.

• wanttosurvive: Reported another wave after 20 months off medication, with increasingly long intervals between waves.

I'm not chatGPT, I'm a real person, repeatedly telling you that at exactly double your time off my sleep is consistently, long-term pretty much as bad as the week-long bad patch of sleep you're having, and was much worse constantly for years, and that at 20 months off I was still really quite impaired and disabled a large proportion of the time and barely sleeping much at all.

You're ignoring this, and asking AI if anyone has ever been as bad as you because you've had a week of bad sleep.

I'm only sharing this experience to answer these questions but you don't want the answers you're asking for. You were on SA, there was a 15 year history of stories there with plenty who were having a very difficult time at this timeframe.

You've improved a lot since May. This wave is very difficult but it is likely to be just that, a wave on the journey to more improvements.

6 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Have you had moments, or longer periods of a week or more, when things were so difficult physically and emotionally that you genuinely wondered whether you could endure it?

Again, you asked this and I responded that I was extremely disabled for a long time, still having difficulty walking and talking at 18 months off, and then suffering immensely for a long time more- years, and constantly.

You've ignored it and simply asked again. You need to work on getting out of the repeat, negative looping spiral and asking the same thing over and over but not taking in the information that might reassure you.

@Luke, you are right. I am caught in a negative reassurance loop, especially in the most difficult moments.

I want you to know that I do read your responses and I do understand what you are telling me. I am not ignoring your experience. Hearing that you were still severely affected at 18-20 months and later improved means a lot to me.

When the physical symptoms and fear become overwhelming, my rational understanding seems to disappear and I start asking the same questions again. I realise that constantly looking for more reassurance is probably feeding the loop.

Thank you for being direct with me, and for continuing to share your experience. I hear you. I need to try to trust the answers I have already been given when the fear takes over.

@HopeOfHealing I understand, many here have struggled with this to varying degrees. It is difficult to overcome.

You may wish to read this story (including the linked intro thread, not just the success story):

NardilTime: recovery from polydrugging after 3 years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

I find this quote particularly relevant:

To those reading this post who are wondering if you are experiencing withdrawal or an underlying condition, if the symptoms are unlike anything you have ever experienced, either in type or severity, and you find yourself on this website, it’s a safe bet you have withdrawal.

However, this one is also good:

However, no matter how much my life has been destroyed, I have recovered. And that is the point of this forum, right? Confirmation that what you, dear reader, are feeling and what you are experiencing is the result of a toxic drug. You are not crazy. And, if you can remove them from your system and stay drug-free, you will become healthy again. Our bodies know the blueprint, and given enough time they will return to factory settings. I hope this story gives you hope. Even those of us who, like me, took the drugs for decades DO recover. It’s a long process, and the suffering is beyond understanding (or at least it was for me), but it dims and then ends.

1 hour ago, HopeOfHealing said:

am caught in a negative reassurance loop, especially in the most difficult moments.

This is part of the waves, and these loops are definitely hard. Try as much as you can to ignore it. It will fade away too.

1 hour ago, Luke said:

I find this quote particularly relevant:

@Luke Thank you for these quotes. I guess that is the main question - is this WD and will this end. We hope the answer is “yes” to both and then through perseverance we will prevail! ❤️🙏

P.S.

Read the whole story on SA - WOW! The journey. Truly gives hope! Once again thank you for sharing!

Edited August 23Aug 23 by HopeOfHealing

38 minutes ago, Raymond said:

It will fade away too.

@Raymond agree! Will pray for that! 🙏

Good morning. Last night was another challenge, but I managed to get some short periods of sleep again. Garmin shows around 4 hours total, with quite a lot of deep sleep, which I am grateful for because at least my body is getting some opportunity to recover.

One significant difference is that this was the first night during this whole episode when I didn’t eat anything during the night. Previously the shallow sleep, long periods awake and anxiety seemed to cause several intense waves of hunger.

This morning I feel quite dull and strange, but there is another positive change. Both yesterday evening and this morning I had moments when the anxiety loosened its grip a little. Even small changes feel important right now.

Garmin again shows no REM sleep. I know Garmin sleep stages are not completely reliable, but I have found that the overall trends often correspond quite well with how I feel. It seems as though whenever there should be a transition from deep sleep towards REM, I wake instead. I find this pattern so specific that it makes me wonder even more if this really is part of a wave rather than ordinary insomnia.

For now I suppose I have to keep waiting and allow my brain to do what it needs to do.

Many of you talk about the body and nervous system repairing themselves. I asked my husband, “But how can that be? What can possibly take this long to repair?”

I really liked his comparison: it is like trying to repair an airport while the planes still have to keep landing and taking off.

It is incredibly difficult to trust the process when I feel like this, but I am trying.

13 minutes ago, HopeOfHealing said:

I really liked his comparison: it is like trying to repair an airport while the planes still have to keep landing and taking off.

I love this, your husband is very wise and sounds very supportive and compassionate. What a blessing, tell him I appreciate his mindset, not all partners are as understanding of WD as him. Im lucky too, my Wife gets it. Be lost without her. xxx

Apart from the sleep, I am really struggling with the daytime anxiety. It builds throughout the day and sometimes completely takes over my body. I wonder if my fear itself is creating it, but it feels so overwhelming and unnatural, almost like a physical wave. My mind becomes foggy and I feel dissociated. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, I don’t feel like myself at all, and even everything around me feels strange.

During better moments I can think rationally. I remind myself why this can be a wave and can pass. I can do small normal things, take a shower, put clothes away. But when the anxiety wave hits, I lose that perspective. My thoughts become frightening again: what if this doesn’t pass? What is happening to me? What if this is some underlying condition?

Then when I feel calmer, I can see how unlikely that seems. I had been gradually recovering after everything with the medications and had reached a stable, much better period. But during the anxiety I stop believing my own reasoning.

Does anxiety during your waves make you question everything too? What helps you during those moments? I walk, talk to my husband, pray and write here, but it is still very difficult.

And one more question. Do you think a short, very easy low-heart-rate run could help during a wave, or could it make things worse? I am normally used to running regularly and I really miss that routine. I am walking a lot now, but I wonder if gentle running might help me cope with some of this physical anxiety.

1 hour ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Does anxiety during your waves make you question everything too? What helps you during those moments? I walk, talk to my husband, pray and write here, but it is still very difficult.

Yes, this is a very, very common experience. When I get a lot of anxiety during a wave I start thinking that I will never stabilize, that I'll never get off the drugs, that this is what the rest of my life will be like. Of course none of that is true, but it's easy to get sucked into that kind of catastrophic thinking. The only things that really help me are distraction and repeating to myself over and over that I'm in a wave, that everything will feel better once it passes, and that I will heal.

1 hour ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Do you think a short, very easy low-heart-rate run could help during a wave, or could it make things worse? I am normally used to running regularly and I really miss that routine. I am walking a lot now, but I wonder if gentle running might help me cope with some of this physical anxiety.

This is very dependent on the individual. More intense exercise helps some people, but others are exercise intolerant and find it overstimulating. I'm lucky enough to find it helpful personally even during a wave, for me it's a good distraction and does calm my physical anxiety to a certain extent. If you want to try running again, I'd start low and slow as you've suggested to see how you react.

Just a small update about how today is going. Please excuse me if I keep repeating myself.

I am getting these enormous waves of fear. Maybe the anxiety and fear are part of the wave, and maybe the thoughts are rumination, I honestly don’t know.

But sometimes something happens that I find almost impossible to explain. It doesn’t feel like simply being anxious or having anxious thoughts. Everything suddenly feels extremely strange and I become terrified that I am entering some kind of severe psychiatric state. I don’t even know how to describe the sensations properly, only that they feel horrible and frightening.

Sometimes the anxiety seems to release a little, and then another terrible surge comes. My neck also feels extremely tight, especially around the throat, and I have headaches. Of course the headaches could be from the lack of sleep, but overall there are just so many strange physical sensations.

I also keep having intrusive thoughts: what if this isn’t a wave or withdrawal? My mind cannot understand how something this severe could suddenly happen this far out, and in such a strange way. First the fragmented sleep, then this increasing physical anxiety that feels so unusual and unnatural, together with these strange episodes.

If anyone has experienced anything similar, or remembers stories from SA, this forum or elsewhere, please keep sharing them with me. Even if you have already written to me before. I am trying to read and understand as much as I can because right now those experiences help me hold onto some perspective.

I feel like the lack of sleep is affecting me enormously. I don’t know if the sleep is causing all these other symptoms, if they are causing the sleep problems, or if everything is somehow connected.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore or what I can do to help myself through this.

Edited August 24Aug 24 by HopeOfHealing

1 hour ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Just a small update about how today is going. Please excuse me if I keep repeating myself.

I am getting these enormous waves of fear. Maybe the anxiety and fear are part of the wave, and maybe the thoughts are rumination, I honestly don’t know.

But sometimes something happens that I find almost impossible to explain. It doesn’t feel like simply being anxious or having anxious thoughts. Everything suddenly feels extremely strange and I become terrified that I am entering some kind of severe psychiatric state. I don’t even know how to describe the sensations properly, only that they feel horrible and frightening.

Sometimes the anxiety seems to release a little, and then another terrible surge comes. My neck also feels extremely tight, especially around the throat, and I have headaches. Of course the headaches could be from the lack of sleep, but overall there are just so many strange physical sensations.

I also keep having intrusive thoughts: what if this isn’t a wave or withdrawal? My mind cannot understand how something this severe could suddenly happen this far out, and in such a strange way. First the fragmented sleep, then this increasing physical anxiety that feels so unusual and unnatural, together with these strange episodes.

If anyone has experienced anything similar, or remembers stories from SA, this forum or elsewhere, please keep sharing them with me. Even if you have already written to me before. I am trying to read and understand as much as I can because right now those experiences help me hold onto some perspective.

I feel like the lack of sleep is affecting me enormously. I don’t know if the sleep is causing all these other symptoms, if they are causing the sleep problems, or if everything is somehow connected.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore or what I can do to help myself through this.

I am @HopeOfHealing everything you described, assuming all your tests are normal this is definitely wd and yes, even at an advanced stage like yours.

The system is regulated through these symptoms, it's beyond brutal but that's how the process works, I know you know inside although you are not convinced.

What I try to do is give all of those nasty symptoms a big title of "temporary chemical cloud that drives all the senses nuts" and not get sucked in, many times it doesn't work and the obsession that is a very powerful symptom gains abnormal momentum, lack of sleep certainly intensifies everything but if you manage to sleep even if for a few hours it is enough power for the system to carry on.

I really hope that a welcome turn comes soon, you definitely deserve it!

Hang on xx

Edited August 24Aug 24 by Fullhealing

8 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

it's beyond brutal

@Fullhealing it is hard to find words to describe the feeling but this wouls be the best I could say too. Not just brutal but beyond brutal. Only hope that it is as you say temporary. I mean… I felt fine for the longest time and one bad night and a very crazy wave starts and doesn’t let go.

5 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Apart from the sleep, I am really struggling with the daytime anxiety. It builds throughout the day and sometimes completely takes over my body. I wonder if my fear itself is creating it, but it feels so overwhelming and unnatural, almost like a physical wave. My mind becomes foggy and I feel dissociated. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, I don’t feel like myself at all, and even everything around me feels strange.

During better moments I can think rationally. I remind myself why this can be a wave and can pass. I can do small normal things, take a shower, put clothes away. But when the anxiety wave hits, I lose that perspective. My thoughts become frightening again: what if this doesn’t pass? What is happening to me? What if this is some underlying condition?

Then when I feel calmer, I can see how unlikely that seems. I had been gradually recovering after everything with the medications and had reached a stable, much better period. But during the anxiety I stop believing my own reasoning.

Does anxiety during your waves make you question everything too? What helps you during those moments? I walk, talk to my husband, pray and write here, but it is still very difficult.

This is all extremely common in withdrawal to the point of being "classic".

In time, it is likely that the waves will get less severe, whether that's symptom-wise, or in duration, intensity etc. and the windows will become clearer. You've had a pretty major wave lately, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to recover.

All of this is very "normal" in withdrawal.

It's good that your husband is supportive and understanding. Some find it helpful to show loved ones other, similar withdrawal stories etc. to help their understanding, some don't. It sounds like he's doing a great job anyway.

6 minutes ago, HopeOfHealing said:

@Fullhealing it is hard to find words to describe the feeling but this wouls be the best I could say too. Not just brutal but beyond brutal. Only hope that it is as you say temporary. I mean… I felt fine for the longest time and one bad night and a very crazy wave starts and doesn’t let go.

I know @HopeOfHealing hard to find words, beyond human dictionary and certainly beyond brutal.

The fact that you had a long period of relief is encouraging and shows that your system cleaned out a lot of chemical junk and allowed itself to rest, it doesn't mean there are no more residues, there's likely more of which your system will hit in the waves that you are now experiencing.

Edited August 24Aug 24 by Fullhealing

On 8/22/2026 at 10:26 AM, Luke said:

It's quite likely that the first thing a professional will suggest is strictly maintaining good sleep hygiene. Is this something you are doing? The data above seems to indicate a very late bedtime.

@Luke was rereading past messages and this caught me. Just wanted ti share that I do try to improve my sleep hygiene. I go to bed at around 23:30. Lights out at 00:30, but actually fall asleep at 2:30 meaning that the 2h time is spent tossing and turning. And that in turn fuels my fear in going to try to sleep as the process is terrifying.

Edited August 24Aug 24 by HopeOfHealing

12 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

And that in turn fuels my fear in going to try to sleep as the process is terrifying.

This is the key thing to work on, as I said before, second fear, teach yourself this is WD, and learn to be ok with not sleeping, I know you struggle with this concept, but you want relief from all this, and aside from time, learning this mindset is the only thing that will help.

Good morning. Last night was noticeably better. My total sleep time was around 7 hours.

The sleep was still very fragmented. I would fall asleep, wake up, fall asleep again, and this continued throughout the night. But there were some important differences. I didn't need to eat during the night again, and between awakenings I didn't have that horrible internal trembling and restlessness that physically made it impossible to lie still and made me feel like I had to get up.

Towards the morning it also felt like I was getting REM sleep because almost every time I woke up, I seemed to have been dreaming.

Right now I have a very bad headache and feel almost severely hungover. Emotionally, I feel very grateful, but at the same time I am still in shock when I think about how I felt yesterday. There is still so much confusion and uncertainty.

But I am really trying to focus on the fact that this must be a good sign. I am trying not to analyse or predict what happens next, and instead just trust and let things unfold.

Going through all of this is incredibly traumatic.

Thank you so much to everyone who wrote to me yesterday and throughout these difficult days. Every word of support means more than you probably realise.

And I am grateful to God for this forum and for having somewhere to come during this. ❤️

15 minutes ago, HopeOfHealing said:

trying not to analyse or predict what happens next,

Key is to remove the trying bit.

15 minutes ago, HopeOfHealing said:

instead just trust and let things unfold.

100%, acceptance is a tricky thing, because whilst accepting we end up trying to accept which is in itself is fixing and resisting, over analysising all of this is resisiting, radical acceptance is litterly repeatedly pulling yourself back to acceptance day in and day out, this is key, this is what we all need to do in WD imo.

Sounds like things are doing a bit better for you, remember waves and windows, you are in WD, things are not linear, if you have a harder time of it soon, that is normal, you are still in WD, keep the radical acceptance going, no fixing, distract yourself with things that interest you in the day, go to bed with zero expectations and just chill be at peace no pressure, in time things will get better for you.

21 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

@Luke was rereading past messages and this caught me. Just wanted ti share that I do try to improve my sleep hygiene. I go to bed at around 23:30. Lights out at 00:30, but actually fall asleep at 2:30 meaning that the 2h time is spent tossing and turning. And that in turn fuels my fear in going to try to sleep as the process is terrifying.

Lights out at half an hour past midnight is really quite late, and lying in bed for an hour with the lights on right before sleep does not sound like good sleep hygiene to me.

I realise that your disrupted sleep is caused by withdrawal, but I think you'd benefit from getting to bed earlier, and trying to relax. It should not be terrifying, it's just lying down in bed instead of doing whatever else you have been doing up until 11:30. The terror is coming with withdrawal, not lying down.

Based on your posts I would say that you're in a very anxious state. This is very common in withdrawal but it is important not to feed it too much. Stating things like "lying in bed for 2 hours is terrifying" is language that only reinforces and amplifies anxiety. If you state this, it will be so. I realise that even if you don't, you will still have difficulty with anxiety, but if you predict it and believe it will be terrifying before you go to bed, it will almost certainly be worse.

I think you'd benefit from working on the language you use, not for our benefit on this forum, but this is likely to be the pattern of your thoughts as well- if you tell yourself you'll "try" to do something and not just do it, it will be more difficult. If you tell yourself going to bed later is terrifying, you will fear it and so on.

If you tell yourself, for example, "I'll lie down and rest for the night, and if that's all I do, that's enough", that is not as scary, and you're at least not setting yourself up to be more scared.

Today was completely different from yesterday. Thank God, that uncontrollable, suffocating anxiety left me alone today. I could physically feel that with every breath I was able to take in more air.

I still feel strange. My head feels almost hungover and sore, not exactly tired but heavy. My eyes feel pressured, almost like when you are getting sick, although I don’t have a temperature or other symptoms. Everything just feels a bit strange.

But this evening I went for a walk with my family and I was actually able to feel present and enjoy our time together. I am so grateful for that.

And thank you to every one of you who has been here with me through this period. It means so much.

9 minutes ago, HopeOfHealing said:

I still feel strange. My head feels almost hungover and sore, not exactly tired but heavy. My eyes feel pressured, almost like when you are getting sick, although I don’t have a temperature or other symptoms. Everything just feels a bit strange.

You’re probably exhausted there. Emotionally and mentally taxing times I hear can be the physical equivalent to a hard workout. Lord knows it can be exhausting. Take it easy and rest.

10 hours ago, HopeOfHealing said:

Today was completely different from yesterday. Thank God, that uncontrollable, suffocating anxiety left me alone today. I could physically feel that with every breath I was able to take in more air.

That's good.

How would you relate this to my above post? Clearly, the anxiety is artificial. So, it is important to make efforts to not feed it with language and thought patterns.

Do you have any thoughts on sleep hygiene as above?

15 hours ago, Luke said:

I think you'd benefit from working on the language you use, not for our benefit on this forum, but this is likely to be the pattern of your thoughts as well- if you tell yourself you'll "try" to do something and not just do it, it will be more difficult. If you tell yourself going to bed later is terrifying, you will fear it and so on.

@Luke Thank you. I have been thinking about what you wrote, and I agree that I need to work on the language I use and the fear I add around sleep. I just wanted to explain briefly why sleep has become such a powerful trigger for me.

My sleep problems started for the first time in 2021 after Covid and a skin cancer diagnosis. Thankfully everything with the cancer ended well, but I suddenly developed insomnia for the first time in my life.

I knew nothing about psychiatric drugs then. I was prescribed benzodiazepines and within two months developed severe tolerance and dependence. I stopped essentially cold turkey and went through a horrible withdrawal, although things eventually improved.

After that came paroxetine and later Brintellix. I didn't understand at the time that medication changes could affect sleep. When my sleep deteriorated, I assumed the problem was me.

I worked with a CBT-I psychiatrist and sleep improved. Later I stopped Brintellix relatively quickly because I was told no special taper was necessary. For months afterwards I was actually doing well, and the following summer my sleep was probably the best it had been in a long time.

Then around 8 months after stopping Brintellix, my sleep suddenly crashed again. I didn't know anything about delayed withdrawal or PAWS, so again I thought something was wrong with me.

I returned to doctors and CBT-I, became increasingly focused on controlling sleep, and eventually was told my nervous system needed to be calmed with medication. That started the worst part of this entire journey.

Z-drugs, quetiapine, paroxetine, alprazolam, olanzapine and many other medications followed. I went through more than 10 drugs/combinations because of severe reactions. I became progressively worse and eventually developed a state where I felt like a zombie and, for the first time in my life, didn't want to exist.

Eventually I ended up on mirtazapine and Brintellix. One doctor finally recognised that I seemed extremely sensitive to medication and encouraged me to reduce. Around that time my husband and I found SA and began to understand what might have been happening.

I eventually stopped everything. Since then there have been many waves and windows, but overall I have genuinely improved. Before this current episode, I had actually reached one of my most stable periods.

I am not telling you this as an excuse for my anxiety or the way I think about sleep. I agree with you that I need to stop reinforcing the fear and change how I approach going to bed.

I just think that after everything that has happened, sleep has become connected in my mind with an enormous amount of fear and trauma. Sometimes I struggle to separate what is withdrawal, what is hyperarousal and what is learned fear.

I also know I repeat myself here. I don't want to bother anyone. Your experiences simply give me something to hold onto when my own perspective disappears.

Stories like the one you shared about someone recovering after 23 years of medication genuinely help me believe that if others could come through seemingly impossible situations, perhaps there is a way through mine too.

Please believe me that I really want to recover and I am trying to work on what is within my control. I am not choosing to be scared. I am trying to learn how not to feed that fear after a very long and difficult road.

Edited August 26Aug 26 by HopeOfHealing