I would say no. Serotonin syndrome looks more seriously, but let's ask a psychiatrist. @Sminismoni Was this a serotonin syndrome?

I think this is something we can name "sensitivity" or maybe "chemical sensitivity" very common for people with Psych med history. It was not mentioned only on this forum. People reports "reactions" to foods, chemicals, supplement, another med. And have sound sensitivities. Even you did report feeling worse after eating, so that could be something similar.

Did anyone felt like their instinctive and natural way of being were somehow blocked in the middle of their actions?

Like yesterday there was a party going on… I even feel the instinct of starting to dance, but one second after my mind was like: why are you dancing? Does this feels natural? I tried to keep going, but then that was already on my mind…

I feel like there is a blocking in being natural, and doing things just naturally or by instinct.

@Healing_s my impression from your posts is that you're caught in a loop of over-analysing your symptoms and thoughts.

You've been off of years of use of more than one drug for a few months, and off of a supplement you were reacting negatively to for just a few weeks, and there has already been some progress.

I understand that you might feel very strange but you seem able to go to parties and dance etc which is good. These ways in which you are feeling strange are all quite common in withdrawal, it is important to try not to feed the anxiety of constantly analysing how you feel.

It is likely that you will improve in time, until then all you can do is look after yourself the best that you can.

16 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Did anyone felt like their instinctive and natural way of being were somehow blocked in the middle of their actions?

Like yesterday there was a party going on… I even feel the instinct of starting to dance, but one second after my mind was like: why are you dancing? Does this feels natural? I tried to keep going, but then that was already on my mind…

I feel like there is a blocking in being natural, and doing things just naturally or by instinct.

I have experienced similar situations many times since I came off my AD.

I believe it's because our nervous system is in a sensitised state in which case our mind can be hyperaware, hypersensitive and/or hypervigilant about all kinds of things. We then might overthink and overanalyse thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.

My advice would be to let those thoughts be there and to not engage with them. Welcome and allow them and then switch your focus back to what you were doing which in your case would be dancing. It's not easy but it can be done. As you keep doing this, you teach your brain that it doesn't have to overanalyze or overthink and after a while, it will do this less and less so.

I'm pretty sure many people here will relate and you're definitely not alone in this ❤️

Thank you @Luke and @Niels91

3 minutes ago, Niels91 said:

I believe it's because our nervous system is in a sensitised state in which case our mind can be hyperaware, hypersensitive and/or hypervigilant about all kinds of things. We then might overthink and overanalyse thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.

it pretty much resumes what I’m feeling.

Because it feels like a forced analyses of what I’m doing and feel. Not a natural way of being.

Thank you for your support! ❤️

1 hour ago, Healing_s said:

Did anyone felt like their instinctive and natural way of being were somehow blocked in the middle of their actions?

All the time, all the time... You mentioned dancing, but well I feel interrupted in the middle of doing any simple task, like picking an object from the floor. I won't say I can't do it at some point, but the feeling is that mind and body are disconnected. It's a metaphor, because, we know that the mind is also a metaphor, but it describes the things pretty well. I think that happens because something in the body is not functioning well and the whole nervous system reacts by freeze response... Overthinking is the consequence of this body trap.

Yesterday was a more difficult day, fell asleep in the couch from 10h to 11:30, and wake in this sense of not knowing where I was, totally detached from reality. Managed to fall asleep until 01:30h, then I woke up and all the terror movies began, feeling I’m going to stay in this cognitive impairment forever, frozen inside my on mind, forever. This is such a horrible state. Thankfully it didn’t have me panic, just adrenaline rush. I got out of bed and went to the couch…watched tv until 5:30, after that I could get some sleep again, awaking every hour until 9h.

this morning felt like my mind had been kidnapped as I stay mostly depressed, reading success stories holding to the small hope there is.

Around 12h my mind got back to me, and actually felt the mood swing. I was able to do some tasks.

I used to live a life of non worries… I didn’t second guess every step of my life. A headache was just a headache, a stomach ache was just something I ate with no big drama, and I was not a prisioner of my mind. All life innocence was just ripped of from me.

How to we come back from this? 😭

Sorry to read @Healing_s you have had much better times, hang onto that, this is just a wave, a window will come soon for you! We all undersstand how hopeless it can feel when in wave. Time is your friend, you are doing better than you think! x

Thanks @Chippy

i really don’t understand my waves and windows yet…

On Sunday, had an awfull night full of terror, yesterday on the afternoon a window opened with mild internal vibration (maybe from all the cortisol in the morning) and the strong sensation of helmet head.

Last night only woke up one time around 4 am, because now I need to go to the bathroom every night (never happend before). Woke up and WD wasn’t the first thing in my mind, finally! Returned to work, and most things are mostly normal, besides those mild symptoms. Totally manageable.

Like if I picked up my life exactly where I left it. ☺️ this is surreal. Feeling mostly normal, my mind is mine again. So very grateful for this day!

Emotions here, minor DP/DR(like residual), able to focus, and stay hours on the computer, able to get conversations, no hipervigilance.

The only thing weird is that when I get hungry a wave of bad nasty head sensation comes up, and then I feel it in my stomach.

God, I hope I have the strength to go with the next wave. Because today I feel mostly healed.

Edited September 1Sep 1 by Healing_s

15 hours ago, Healing_s said:

i really don’t understand my waves and windows yet…

Ive yet to find anyone who does!

15 hours ago, Healing_s said:

On Sunday, had an awfull night full of terror, yesterday on the afternoon a window opened with mild internal vibration (maybe from all the cortisol in the morning) and the strong sensation of helmet head.

Last night only woke up one time around 4 am, because now I need to go to the bathroom every night (never happend before). Woke up and WD wasn’t the first thing in my mind, finally! Returned to work, and most things are mostly normal, besides those mild symptoms. Totally manageable.

This is classic Windows and Waves.... It's a great sign, frustrating I know but what happens across the board.

15 hours ago, Healing_s said:

Because today I feel mostly healed.

Amazing! More to come!!!! :)

So it’s going one good day, one bad day. Yesterday my mind was not so clear, woke up foggy and feeling in between…like if my mind is somehow kidnapped for the morning, I also think there are a lot of intrusive/random thoughts. So yesterday felt more closed for healing. During the day the pressure on the head was increasing until it faded away at the end of day, only to come back before going to bed.

It’s more easy to fall asleep…but food is giving me some work. As I woke up one hour after fell asleep, and intrusive thoughts were all around and it was hard to fell asleep again.

This morning head woke up clear! No random or intrusive thoughts! Thinking is clear.

Had an episode of high heart beat in the morning coming out of nowhere and also a huge scary thought regarding losing control of my own mind and have a psicoses episode and how I would not be able to control myself. (Maybe the Lindsay case or my fear of being a mother in the future and not be able to handle things are trying to scare me).

Physically cortisol spikes are way better, not that urge in the morning of having to get up. sometimes I feel my body squeezing, mainly in upper body and that inner restlessness/internal vibration, but the fluctuate during the day and so far are manageable.

Overall is going well.

Hey everyone, today it’s a hard day.

For the past days I’ve felt my mind getting more clear. Physical symptoms are decreasing… inner vibration is still here but very residual, and my head pressure is coming and going. I’ve noticed that for the last couple of days I’ve been feeling my throat more swollen (I’m not sick…so this makes me wonder if it’s a WD symptom) but I also been feeling some pressure on my face, bellow the eyes and nose. So maybe these are the so called flu like symptoms?

Besides these I’m dealing with the psychological symptoms which I’m having a hard time to understand what it is. Morning are still difficult, even though my mind is clearing, I develop this stupid thing of understanding if the way I’m thinking is normal and cannot seem to let that go, which causes me great distress. I try not to fight it and just let it be, but can’t seem to find a peace of mind with my mind. I think this is my brain just doing a check up”oh is this normal?”but I don’t know.

Did anyone experienced something like this? This doesn’t feel normal to me. And keeps me in this loop of thinking I will never get out of my head…

I know this is a stupid thing, but it’s really messing with me and I’m stuck in this loop and can get out.

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Healing_s

3 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

For the past days I’ve felt my mind getting more clear. Physical symptoms are decreasing… inner vibration is still here but very residual, and my head pressure is coming and going. I’ve noticed that for the last couple of days I’ve been feeling my throat more swollen (I’m not sick…so this makes me wonder if it’s a WD symptom) but I also been feeling some pressure on my face, bellow the eyes and nose. So maybe these are the so called flu like symptoms?

symptoms are just symptoms, unless you are actually dying, you should not hyper focus on them and try to do the things you can do.

4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Besides these I’m dealing with the psychological symptoms which I’m having a hard time to understand what it is. Morning are still difficult, even though my mind is clearing, I develop this stupid thing of understanding if the way I’m thinking is normal and cannot seem to let that go, which causes me great distress. I try not to fight it and just let it be, but can’t seem to find a peace of mind with my mind. I think this is my brain just doing a check up”oh is this normal?”but I don’t know.

Did anyone experienced something like this? This doesn’t feel normal to me. And keeps me in this loop of thinking I will never get out of my head…

I know this is a stupid thing, but it’s really messing with me and I’m stuck in this loop and can get out.

It's okay, we all get that loop, we all been there.

The thing you want to do, is to mindfully observe the thoughts, and distance yourself from them, and then just accept them, while critically thinking them to see if they are true or false thoughts. thoughts are just thoughts, running wild, esspecielly with wd, thoughts are often false, you don't have to believe your feelings and thoughts, you are not your thoughts and feelings.

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Lighty

@Lighty thank you for your answer… I’m easy on the physical ones, I can acknowledge them and accept they are there, while I’m doing things. But messing with the one thing that’s supposed to keep me rational and moving forward makes me feel I’m losing my mind. And I get a little scared, not physically scared (no more anxious feelings).

Well I hope there will be a time when this is just a distant memory and I get my life totally back.

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Healing_s

2 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

@Lighty thank you for your answer… I’m easy on the physical ones, I can acknowledge them and accept they are there, while I’m doing things. But messing with the one thing that’s supposed to keep me rational and moving forward makes me feel I’m losing my mind. And I get a little scared, not physically scared (no more anxious feelings).

Well I hope there will be a time when this is just a distant memory and I get my life totally back.

Just remember it's okay to not successfully deal with symptoms all the time, I have very bad days i can't cope with at times as well.

As long as you have passed the day, you haven't truly failed ❣️

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Lighty

24 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

I think this is my brain just doing a check up”oh is this normal?”but I don’t know.

Did anyone experienced something like this? This doesn’t feel normal to me. And keeps me in this loop of thinking I will never get out of my head…

All the time! I am thinking also kinda "Will a random, normal person also do something like that in this particular situation?"

These looping thought are been reported frequently. On SA forum there was one topic regarding a bit more specific looping thought: ear worm, when a song stuck in someone head repeating all the time. Are some parts of songs repeating themselves in your head?

31 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

So maybe these are the so called flu like symptoms?

I don't know what exactly these are, however I was feeling really cold and hot inside my body. It really feel ill, like infected. But without having a real flu. But it felt like that. So these are probably flu-like symthoms, I don't know if people are having them also.

Your neck symthoms are probably just neuro-muscular symthoms... I have tension also in my neck and in my throat too and I can say if feels completely different comparing to feeling of having a flu without it.

Edited September 6Sep 6 by The Dust

1 hour ago, The Dust said:

ear worm, when a song stuck in someone head repeating all the time. Are some parts of songs repeating themselves in your head?

Yeah I think this happend already too.

1 hour ago, The Dust said:

All the time! I am thinking also kinda "Will a random, normal person also do something like that in this particular situation?"

By now I don’t really know anything anymore. it’s funny this doesn’t happen at the end of the day -.- so I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

So should I just believe this is a magical condition of this WD state?

I’m so ***** with starting these meds back in 2019! 😔 and just CT them by following “doctors orders”.

@Healing_s Why exactly you don't know anything anymore?

I don't understand how is it related to your second quote of me exactly... I just wanted to put an example of my (looping) thought that was similar to you, confirming that it's happening to me. You are asking yourself "Is that normal?" But my version of it is "Will one random, normal person do something like this." Rethinking...

8 minutes ago, The Dust said:

Why exactly you don't know anything anymore?

This WD thing makes me wonder about everything. That I don’t even know what’s normal and what’s not.

I just know this wasn’t the way I was and felt before.

4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

I just know this wasn’t the way I was and felt before.

Try to recall this when your looping thought like "is this normal in this particular situation". Try to say to yourself that this wasn't you once... I know, it's hard, because looping thought are hard to get rid of it.

I remember literally 2 moments in my whole life when my DP together with all these looping thoughts just turned off. It was a moment of having totally clear view for the first time. That time I learned how does it looks like not to have it. The second time it felt like I am on the bright side again-

My point is, it's just enough to remember. You are different, you are jumping from one side to another. Easier way to remember for you!

Edited September 6Sep 6 by The Dust

@The Dust thank you for your support! ❤️

1 minute ago, Healing_s said:

@The Dust thank you for your support! ❤️

Does it mean, "ok, now you can **** the **** up"?? Haha. Sorry, if the things went too far! i will run away! Sorry if I spoke too much here!

But your DP story was really a story to remember for me. It's like I am 99/1 version and you are 50/50 version.

Edited September 6Sep 6 by The Dust

1 hour ago, The Dust said:

Does it mean, "ok, now you can **** the **** up"?? Haha. Sorry, if the things went too far! i will run away! Sorry if I spoke too much here!

Not at all @The Dust. I guess this day it’s just a bad day. Sometimes it feels I have all figured it out and 1 day latter I know nothing at all about how I should be managing this. 🤯

My DP it’s coming to an end I suppose…I still feel like I’m seeing things through glass (and I am indeed, as I wear glasses 🫣😂😂) but it’s not has bad was it was on the beginning. And now it’s not bothering me, so I think it will go away some day.

I just want to be able to worry with trivial things, and ruminate about my work rather than my own mind. And sit on the couch after a full day of work and just relax and totally focus on some tv show and don’t bother if I’m thinking about this and that or just feel that it has become a natural thing again. 😔

and I hope you are ok and finding your way through this hell!

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Healing_s

Slept until 5 am, after that light sleep, don’t know if i did fell asleep or not. Got up around 7 am. Brain fog the first hour. After that a full normal day. Brain nailed it on the right connections so everything was as one, no hipervigilancy, no loud intrusive thoughts.

Head in the morning is light, gets swollen at the end of the day maybe from all the processing of daily information.

Inner vibration increase when eating, or starting to feel hunger.

Still have face, neck, jaw and nose sore.

Feeling some exhaustion/tiredness at the end of the day.

Emotions are somewhat still flat.

But have to say, I didn’t remember how much I enjoyed the silence.

Truly grateful for this! ❤️

Hi everyone,

wanted to share a little update…

I guess I was a positive person all my life, I was not the person who gets really deep worried about how life would turn out, I was mostly trusting things would go ok. Never made any huge plans about my life, things would come up and I would made my mind very quickly about what I wanted to do, based on what I was feeling about it. I was also very intuitive, and excited about life and all things that would come. When bad things happened I always tried to look through and find a lesson on it or tried to find a good thing about it.

so when this all started my intuition was nowhere near, my feelings and fears were all over the place, my life, my house, my family, and my work where put into question. The world came crashing down. And of course I questioned every thought, every move about myself. Feeling mainly lost, and panicking about it, feeling dreadful about every single aspect of life, what to eat, what to dress, what to feel, what to think and how to do these things.

But the worst of it is feeling trapped in my own head, falling in crazy loops of whether is this the way people think, or forgetting about the way I actually think. Earing every thought I have on my mind about everything and being aware of it, feels like mindfulness but taken to extreme and with the exact opposite feeling - feeling major distress and weird.

But indeed all of this is somehow starting to ease…

• Mornings are the high peak of this. Awaking up is the most difficult moment, my mind starts working in full strength and maybe there is a filter that’s not yet working.

• Physical symptoms are reduced to inner vibration and sense of swollen head (increasing during the day…with a break around sunset…and full on again until sleep) 🤷🏼‍♀️

• Every time I’m hungry I feel an intense wave of inner vibration, and food also is still reactive…

I would like to say that all of this feels manageable at the moment. Regarding my mind, I really don’t have a choice but to keep moving and try to focus on what I’m doing. I try to let it happen in a second plan…as this actually doesn’t sound really normal in my way of thinking.

I’ve been having glimpses of this intuition coming back, and been feeling more connected with things I’m doing or the context itself.

Still not really good, but it’s also not as bad as in acute phase. It’s not losing my mind 24/7, but it’s fluctuating during the day.

I’m hopeful… and thankful for the healing that had happend so far. ❤️