6 hours ago, Healing_s said:

This is psychological terror, and it feels that I’m doing this to myself. Nights and mornings are the worst. Usually at the end of the day I can have some mental clarity. But then the night comes and makes me feel like I don’t even know what’s real or not, I’m so confused, or what to believe.

And my heart is not racing, but I feel panic everywhere.

Morning and evening spikes in anxiety and negative thinking are very common. Among older people, its called "sundowner syndrome" because agitation hits around twilight. The fact you're having clear moments, no matter how fleeting, means you're not having a breakdown and that you can recover.

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to share that after two weeks of bad sleeping, and 8 days of almost non existent sleep, yesterday, after morning depression and paranoia, things started to feel smoother, the volume of thoughts was down to zero, I could actually appreciate being seated in a cafe in the beach.

During the day I was kind of feeling my head full of pressure, like if was slowly coming to be full of water (I don’t know how to describe it better). And also my ear was in that sense of slowly opening. Weird weird.

And in the twilight zone (I will name it as a give-me-a-break time) finally the feeling of exhaustion, and tiredness was slowly hugging me! I went to bed and finally something gave up, and body and mind seemed connected and embrace sleeping together. It was amazing and I slept (with some minor awakenings) 8 hours!

Today I woke up very slowly, not with that cortisol rush that usually comes crazy!

My head feels quite swollen and heavy, like a sleeping hangover and at the same time the helmet feeling.

Mornings seem to be quite difficult, even though most dread thoughts are not present and it’s like if somehow the volume of them it’s turned off, I’ve been overwhelm with doubt thoughts. Feeling like somehow I am in the power to create this awful state of being. And feeling very doubtful of is this really WD. Even thou I know it is, my mind is always questioning and trying to scare me with it.

I hope with time this doubts come to an end, and we can all go back to the wonderful lifes awaiting slowly for us!

Thank you all for the support and patience in these past days! ❤️

@Chippy @Luke please delete the last post, as I come to realize that what happend was in fact the diazepam in my system. That’s why I slept well, because it’s still on my system. 😭😭😭 so horrific nights will come back in a few days.

I thought I was getting the strength necessary to keep going, and it’s a false alarm.

it didn’t really work when I took it, nor Friday or Saturday, but now I know I was sitting there and it’s still on my system.

Edited July 27Jul 27 by Healing_s

Some questions needing some concrete advise, as I have come to this point where I think things will be harder to go well, and I think the only thing that would help, would be RI.

My nervous system is very very sensitive, so as soon as diazepam gets out of my system, things will become as they were before, with no sleeping, stress all the time, panic, diggestive system eating all my sugar levels, and all those things.

• how can my nervous system calm down and stabilize? If I could do this without any meds it would be ideal.

• Based on the tapering information on the website (without doing my math, cause I still dont have pils) if I took 1 mg, this would mean something like one bead ? And if a bead has more than 1mg? After stabilizing with that value, go up? Or coming down?

• RI sedoxil is also not an option? My psychiatrist told me to take in SOS, if needed.

• Also without all those nights without sleeping, how can the brain recover? Because everything is extremely sensitive. My head hurts a lot, I feel like it’s swollen.

@Healing_s You know, if i was you in your situation, i would make sure that your problems are not related to stomach at least in some degree. Why is it important? If you take venlafaxine again it could have an impact on your stomach for a longer time. You said by yourself that eating and not eating makes the things different in terms of DP and sleep. It can't be because of hunger, because a body doesn't starve if it doesn't eat for a few hours. I was taking an antibiotic for just 14 days and I believe I made my stomach worse. I read stories of people mentioned discomfort after taking just one pill of SSRI...

Hello @The Dust

But during the day I can make quite fine if I just eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner, why do I can manage through the day and at night when everything is slower it feels like I’m drained off?

So even if it’s stomach related I don’t really think it is the main issue. I think nervous system is quite in pain that’s why things still dont settle.

Healing_s , in my earlier months of WD I experienced a lot of what you are describing. Our bodies are amazing machines and fix what needs to at the moment, be patient with yourself and time my friend, it will settle down. I have learned over the last 21 months at zero the less I Google systems the less it gets in my head. Time, patience and deffinatly a lot of prayer and ans the Lord to give my the strength. He has given me so much strength I didn't know I had. And at just the right moments when I need it the most he gives me relife., and just breathe. You are so much stronger than this and you will preserve. Sending extra prayers for some needed relief, you are in my thoughts ❤️

hi @Bernadette the thing is that I’ve been feeling like my brain is actually swollen, at the same time I feel physically weak. I really think that I’am at a dangerous point. Even if I wish to continue I don’t know if this is healthy for my brain.

1 minute ago, Healing_s said:

hi @Bernadette the thing is that I’ve been feeling like my brain is actually swollen, at the same time I feel physically weak. I really think that I’am at a dangerous point. Even if I wish to continue I don’t know if this is healthy for my brain.

Its highly unlikely your brain is swollen. If it were or was somehow damaged, you'd be experiencing severe physical symptoms like seizures and paralysis. Its natural to seek some kind of cause for your feelings beyond WD and anxiety. You really need to consider using coping strategies to calm your nervous and physical systems. I know you'd like some definite solutions for what you're experiencing, but truly time, patience, and coping is the path to recovery.

@mstimc60 I know it’s withdrawal, but with the fast lost of wheight these last week, bad sleeping and all. And the stoping of trytophane I think there is actual something not going to well. I’m just scared if I take things to extreme, this might not go well…

9 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

hi @Bernadette the thing is that I’ve been feeling like my brain is actually swollen, at the same time I feel physically weak. I really think that I’am at a dangerous point. Even if I wish to continue I don’t know if this is healthy for my brain.

Healing_s, I would agree with @mstimc60 you would be feeling some sort of physical symptoms like seizures , ext,. I would feel like my brain was swollen, and expanding and my scull was restricting it, and not allowing the pressure to subside. It has and will given time, yes just part of the nasty WD process our bodies have to endure, but it does get better. It took me a while to slow the symptoms to come and go and not fight it, the mor I fought it the more control it had over me. I truly believe with all my heart, that this will pass, do not give it the power, and it to shall pass. You are so strong and you will get through this. ❤️

@mstimc60 i do want to believe this is minor, and that I will get through it, I’m just afraid of getting real damage in the process or taking things to extreme. I’m just wondering if this tryptophane was not intoxicating my brain, and now with the severe brain zaps all night long, not sleeping and needing to eat every three hours or the body feels like it’s going to collapse. I hope it’s nothing major.

And I’m calm not having anxiety. I just do hope everything will be fine.

Thank you for your support

@Healing_s, I feel you very well. I took my last antidepressant pill March 20,2026, so I am in my month 5 of extreme WD symptoms: cortisol spikes exclusively the night, I am awaken every 2 hours by the cortisol rush and the sweats, awful depression, anxiety, fatigue, anhedonia, brain fog, cognitive decline, I lost more than 20 kilos (I was 60 kg)... But I know that this is WD, and I am afraid to take even magnesium. I promised myself that no one single pill will pass down my throat. Only time and patience.

Just now, Healing_s said:

I’m just scared if I take things to extreme, this might not go well…

The key is to take it slow and only make a change when you're ready. Don't hold yourself to an arbitrary schedule or judge yourself because you feel you're not making the progress you'd like. You will recover, but it will take time.

@skamen I’m just afraid things go actually wrong. The moment I go asleep, I’m sended back to earth, just to experience extreme vibration and adrenaline rushing through my body. And if I eat things settle a bit, but not enough for me to sleep.

Are you currently working? Because I cannot seem to function with that in this state.

23 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

The key is to take it slow and only make a change when you're ready. Don't hold yourself to an arbitrary schedule or judge yourself because you feel you're not making the progress you'd like. You will recover, but it will take time.

I’m not judging myself for not being great, I’m simply scared that this process can make me really brain injury. Or some toxicity for the supplements.

Because I feel the body crying for the substance of course, but at the same time e don’t feel it’s manageable anymore, because it’s getting extreme, and I’m afraid the body cannot take it.

1 minute ago, Healing_s said:

I’m not judging myself for not being great, I’m simply scared that this process can make me really brain injury.

Although you may not feel anxiety as you expect, the fact your mind is playing "what if" games suggests you're dealing with ruminations and anxious thinking. Your mind has latched onto the possibility of some kind of physical damage to your brain and that it may get worse and be permanent. WD is awful but I have yet to see anyone whose had true brain damage or other permanent effects.

@mstimc60 I do believe in you!! And I really hope nothing worse will come out of this! Cause I really feel I’m going extreme. And that my body may not make it, and also brain.

I asked before if at least reinstating the sedoxil for sleeping, as the doctor told me, would at least give me some manageable time. Does the brain heal anyway?

1 minute ago, Healing_s said:

I asked before if at least reinstating the sedoxil for sleeping, as the doctor told me, would at least give me some manageable time. Does the brain heal anyway?

I'll let our reinstatement experts answer that one. But in my experience on three WD and recovery sites, I would say yes, your brain will heal in time.

3 hours ago, Healing_s said:

Hello @The Dust

But during the day I can make quite fine if I just eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner, why do I can manage through the day and at night when everything is slower it feels like I’m drained off?

So even if it’s stomach related I don’t really think it is the main issue. I think nervous system is quite in pain that’s why things still dont settle.

Hello,

I will say something to calm you down a little bit. I hope so. I was poly-drugged for a decade and I took higher doses than you, but my MRI brain scan said that there is zero damage. Everything normal.

Yes, maybe stomach is not the main (or the only) issue, but based on your report I was thinking this way. When you are awake you eat regularly and your food neutralize stomach acid, but in the middle of the night your stomach is emptied or stay empty a little bit longer. You said that as soon as you eat something, everything become better. That could be the thing. We also have to recall that everyone here is saying "stomach pain" and so on... I'm not saying this necessary explain everything, but it makes sense to rule it out before RI... After all, for me it was confirmed by pathologist, not just a gastroenterologist, that i have inflammation of stomach and I see that if I stay fasted for a longer time my body feels tension, but after eating a small meal it somehow become better, it become easier to focus somehow. But still, if I eat more, everything became worse again because of discomfort and so on.

Edited July 27Jul 27 by The Dust

17 hours ago, Healing_s said:

@Chippy @Luke please delete the last post, as I come to realize that what happend was in fact the diazepam in my system. That’s why I slept well, because it’s still on my system. 😭😭😭 so horrific nights will come back in a few days.

I thought I was getting the strength necessary to keep going, and it’s a false alarm.

it didn’t really work when I took it, nor Friday or Saturday, but now I know I was sitting there and it’s still on my system.

I think it is really unlikely that taking a Diazepam has made your sleep better several days later @Healing_s I think this is much more likley a window tbh.

15 hours ago, Healing_s said:

Some questions needing some concrete advise, as I have come to this point where I think things will be harder to go well, and I think the only thing that would help, would be RI.

My nervous system is very very sensitive, so as soon as diazepam gets out of my system, things will become as they were before, with no sleeping, stress all the time, panic, diggestive system eating all my sugar levels, and all those things.

• how can my nervous system calm down and stabilize? If I could do this without any meds it would be ideal.

• Based on the tapering information on the website (without doing my math, cause I still dont have pils) if I took 1 mg, this would mean something like one bead ? And if a bead has more than 1mg? After stabilizing with that value, go up? Or coming down?

• RI sedoxil is also not an option? My psychiatrist told me to take in SOS, if needed.

• Also without all those nights without sleeping, how can the brain recover? Because everything is extremely sensitive. My head hurts a lot, I feel like it’s swollen.

Based on this perhaps you should consider holding firm and working on those coping skills for the waves rather than RI but.....

In answer to your questions:

-Your nervous system will calm down as it adapts to the drugs absense and heals. It doesn't need drugs to do this.

-If you were to RI you would need to get an average bead count for a capsule to know this. But either way you would not be taking many beads to get that dose. Once stable you would hold steady until time to taper. We would deal with that later.

-I would not think too far ahead and just make one choice at a time, it is impossible to know how you react to one thing if you make too many changes. Try not to get ahead of yourself.

-I have a very sore burning brain often, it is my worse symptom at this point. I am still healing and you will too.

26 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I think it is really unlikely that taking a Diazepam has made your sleep better several days later @Healing_s I think this is much more likley a window tbh.

I so want to believe this is it. On Sunday my ear quite pop out, like when in high altitude, and things got a little bit quiet. This is, somehow I was not constantly hearing my body function and in a high anxiety level. This night I could manage to stay in bed for 7 hours, just with my eyes shutted. But I cannot differentiate if I was sleeping because if I did was to light.

So mainly I feel these constant vibration and the brain zaps, muscle twitches, and stiffness.

Anyway I was not able to go to work again. And this is also giving me some anxiety because I’m not able to do the things I once was. I think driving and go to the office might be a trigger.

Edited July 28Jul 28 by Healing_s

3 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

I so want to believe this is it. On Sunday my ear quite pop out, like when in high altitude, and things got a little bit quiet. This is, somehow I was not constantly hearing my body function and in a high anxiety level. This night I could manage to stay in bed for 7 hours, just with my eyes shutted. But I cannot differentiate if I was sleeping because if I did was to light.

Sounds like you are getting some improvement. Remember it is often slow and non linear. I still get some parts of the night on some nights where it is impossible to feel I have slept, like I am unconscious but not sleeping. It is weird. These drugs really mess with our sleep architecture.

4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

So mainly I feel these constant vibration and the brain zaps.

This is very common.

4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Anyway I was not able to go to work again. And this is also giving me some anxiety because I’m not able to do the things I once was. I think driving and go to the office might be a trigger.

I think anything you can do to keep your nervous system calm is a good move. x

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sounds like you are getting some improvement. Remember it is often slow and non linear. I still get some parts of the night on some nights where it is impossible to feel I have slept, like I am unconscious but not sleeping. It is weird. These drugs really mess with our sleep architecture.

It doesn’t feel that bad today, but I still think is related to the diazepam as it stays in the system for at least 7 seven days. Even thou it was a lower dose.

But how do people manage to work in these conditions? Is it possible to get that state of able to work, I feel like if I move a little I will destabilize all.

4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

It doesn’t feel that bad today, but I still think is related to the diazepam as it stays in the system for at least 7 seven days. Even thou it was a lower dose.

As I said, I suspect this is not the case and you are just in a window.

5 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

But how do people manage to work in these conditions? Is it possible to get that state of able to work, I feel like if I move a little I will destabilize all.

This varies from person to person. Everyone is different and each persons circumstances are different. We all just have to adapt around our particular situation as needed. I really believe where possible, keeping stress low is very important.