4 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Mornings are a little more difficult…where i often feel more low mood or more confused. I noticied that regarding memory i often forget the name of different things or that i get lost when keeping up with conversation.

Today at work there were more moments when i felt like myself, focused, worrying only about the task in hands, but after some time it returns to the same worried disk of WD. But the moments are here.

I have always been a curious, passionate person about things, wanting to know the why and origin of things and this feeling was always felt with excitement… my DR might be also linked to this but with the inverse feeling, with this sense of stranger feeling, that somehow makes me alert. But I hope it goes away either… as it hasnt been as much as before.

Well I hope this means that we are indeed healing… step by step… slowly in time.

These are all signs you are healing! Your morning difficulties may be due to the cortisol spike we get in the morning that wakes us up. Its just adding to your already higher than usual baseline anxiety. But the fact you can focus at work is great. It also shows how weak the negative thoughts truly are--even work distractions can make them lose power. You are healing!

I really hope @mstimc60 !!!

Yes, last week maybe on Thursday or friday the volume of intrusive thoughts got considerably low. Before i was really confused, because somehow it was like I could hear all the thoughts going on my mind (this sounds really weird).

So the fact that the volume went to 0, helped a lot to actually focus.

Sounds like things are going well for you @Healing_s :)

I hope they do @Chippy

The food was also a big step here. Histamin was giving some hard time also, so I’m trying to keep it simple and cook every day fresh food, at least at dinner. 🫣

Another thing is to really try to have some exercise, i think we need to feel quite exhausted, so that we can have a better rest at night. Walking has been part of my agenda every day, and I’m considering going back dancing.

Also im making a 3000 pieces puzzle! To at least spend the time at night. I think it will be my healing puzzle. Maybe finishing it when im truly healed.

when it comes to sleeping I’m following your advise on staying in bed for the night, even if i don’t sleep much.

Nevertheless, i know hard times Will come, i can cope with the symptoms right now and abstract from them, as the vibration is still going on, and braiz zaps come with higher stress or exhaustion atm, also cortisol spikes, and this vibration on my right eye.

So let’s be resilient, keep a routine, remeber the good Windows, and how to cope in waves!

17 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

The food was also a big step here. Histamin was giving some hard time also, so I’m trying to keep it simple and cook every day fresh food, at least at dinner. 🫣

Like many things in WD diet is a personal choice. Low Hist diets can work for some. I generally try to eat well and found reducing certain foods didnt offer much to me.

18 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Another thing is to really try to have some exercise, i think we need to feel quite exhausted, so that we can have a better rest at night. Walking has been part of my agenda every day, and I’m considering going back dancing.

I think getting some exercise is good. Again it's personal, some can't exercise much, others can. In normal life I have found if I am worn out I sleep better, in WD I have to admit I see little pattern. I can be very tired and still very activated! So hard to know what to do sometimes! I think we all have to play around and see what works best for us.

20 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Also im making a 3000 pieces puzzle! To at least spend the time at night. I think it will be my healing puzzle. Maybe finishing it when im truly healed.

Lighty does these kinds of activities too. I think it is a great idea. Distraction is very important.

20 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

when it comes to sleeping I’m following your advise on staying in bed for the night, even if i don’t sleep much.

Good. I think this is the primary thing to do with WD sleep. Cool room, ear plugs, eye mask or black out curtains, same bed time each night, set the alarm and stay there and rest. Helps encourage the body into a rhythm. Learning to not care how much you sleep in that period is vital. You don't choose sleep, the body knows how to do it. It will give you enough. :)

22 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Nevertheless, i know hard times Will come, i can cope with the symptoms right now and abstract from them, as the vibration is still going on, and braiz zaps come with higher stress or exhaustion atm, also cortisol spikes, and this vibration on my right eye.

It is so hard to know what comes next. Keeping our minds in the day and not thinking of the future is the only way I think. We do know given enough time, things get better :)

23 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

So let’s be resilient, keep a routine, remeber the good Windows, and how to cope in waves!

Perfect attitude! :) xxxxx

@Healing_s it is encouraging to hear that you have some capacity to do some things. It's meaningful. Some parts of yourself "survived". It's not about comparing suffering. What I'm trying to say is that you can appreciate that you did retained some of your abilities despite everything you've been through, and that's not something to take for granted.

Can I ask you, where exactly are these vibrations felt?

@The Dust we didn’t forget how to do stuff, i think we have to slowly try to experience things again. I think it’s important to remember how we do stuff, to tell our brain that’s safe.

It’s quite generalized internal vibration. In my legs, arms.

You're right, the brain can recall all the skills again, but it's important that it had those skills in the first place, which cannot be taken for granted, and also that the body is healthy.

It’s quite generalized internal vibration. In my legs, arms.

Do these vibrating sensations sometimes alternate with another similar feelings? Like burning or electricity. Can they appear on the same part? You did mentioned brain zaps. For myself I can say that real vibration feelings appear on my left side on my face where burning sensation is present usually and sometimes I feel vibration is felt under my left rib, where pressure is present is far more frequently. I don't know it looks like these neuropathy-like feelings can manifest in some different forms. Also like brain zaps maybe, in your case now.

8 hours ago, The Dust said:

Do these vibrating sensations sometimes alternate with another similar feelings? Like burning or electricity. Can they appear on the same part? You did mentioned brain zaps. For myself I can say that real vibration feelings appear on my left side on my face where burning sensation is present usually and sometimes I feel vibration is felt under my left rib, where pressure is present is far more frequently. I don't know it looks like these neuropathy-like feelings can manifest in some different forms. Also like brain zaps maybe, in your case now.

Mainly is in legs, sometimes my head is also vibrating… like trembling. I feel my neck very contracted… brain zaps.. sometimes it’s like there is a dril in my head…

I just wanted to say, yes, contracted neck is something I I feel too. All the time, especially on the left side. Together with tension in my lower jaw. These things must be related somehow. I hope the dots will be connected at some point big time.

Ok, good luck! I will hide my ass now!

19 minutes ago, The Dust said:

Together with tension in my lower jaw. These things must be related somehow. I hope the dots will be connected at some point big time.

Ok, good luck! I will hide my ass now!

Me too!! Very much!! And in this awfull week i had, I felt like everything was really contracting. Very very dificult to relax.

I imagine it might be our nervous system trying to figure out a way to balance! At least i hope so!

unfortunately i think the dots wont be connected soon, so we just go with it, and hold on to our healing. It Will balance again, on it’s own. 💪

So just to keep a small record of this few days:

Been feeling quite better the past few days… and able to see a little improvement every day. been able to work, cook, drive, having small moments with friends, and today was the first day, that no DR came to ruin my moment. Today feels quite the normal day of my life.

Still not a perfect day, but a really good one, even though mornings are indeed the moment where I feel more foggy and where worries seem to have more power than my will.

Also been having this feeling of heavy head, like swollen head, that is coming down to my eyes, nose and face.

I’m also a smoker (I know it’s not helpful, but I’m smoking less than I used too, cutting it out now would create even more stress)

Besides, the trembling (head and neck) has significantly diminished. And I’ve been feeling quite tired during afternoon, more than I used to when I didn’t sleep.

Nights have been better, sleeping almost 6/7 hours. But don’t feel like resting nights.

Intrusive thoughts were not here also, so I was totally focused and above all I was present!

I feel more slow than I used to be, but if this means healing I’m totally fine with that and I’m very grateful that my brain is working to give me this beautiful moments.

Also as I’m feeling a little better I’m trying to introduce some new foods… and I would like to try to introduce decaf.

I miss coffee so much, and actually I feel the urge to take one.

Edited August 6Aug 6 by Healing_s

That's a great update, @Healing_s ! Hang onto this progress if and when you hit a wave. If you can improve for a few days, than you can recover permanently!

Hey @mstimc60 that’s one of the fears, it’s not on my plate all day, but I know that at some point might there be a wave. I just hope I’ve the strength to cope with it.

May I ask you, I'm curious, which brand of tobacco or cigarettes are you buying?

Just now, Healing_s said:

I just hope I’ve the strength to cope with it.

You've already shown you have the strength by responding to the good days you're having. The ability to recover is already in you. Its just needs time and support. Even if you have a "bad" day, it doesn't mean the next one will be bed, too. "Normal" people have ups and downs all the time, but that doesn't mean the bad times last forever.

1 hour ago, The Dust said:

May I ask you, I'm curious, which brand of tobacco or cigarettes are you buying?

I smoke Austin blue. Guess the brand is not that important they are all not good for health, anyway.

Unhealthy, we all know it. But somehow it's good for you that can still do it without falling apart. I am somehow jealous. I wasn't able to do it and still don't understand how young people can do it like nothing and still look good. After a few months I felt dizzy and had reduced lung capacity and got smoker face immediately.

But I can't say that brand doesn't matter. As someone with chemical sensitivity I can say that experience with pure organic tobacco was something completely different. Before that I tried Winston and it tasted like petroleum and I felt like my head and my neck will explode and akathisia and sharp pain inside my arms and so on...

Light one for me, please!

Edited August 6Aug 6 by The Dust

Hey everyone,

So days have been feeling better, I still vibrate and have this feeling of swollen head, but not as intense as before.

Today I had lunch with friends and stayed at their house all the afternoon, i managed to stay there. But it seems that during morning and some part of the afternoon is like I’m not really present, it’s a weird feeling, like I want to be present and trying to enjoy the most that’s possible, but somehow it’s like I’m not really present at that moment. I try to live my life the best way possible and try to deal with these weird symptoms, but somehow it feels like weird, like if most of the day I have this state where i try to manage symptoms but not able to fully be present and focused at the moment I’m living.

Then at the end of the afternoon, everything feels better. I can be focused, it feels even lighter. is this normal in WD?

1 minute ago, Healing_s said:

Hey everyone,

So days have been feeling better, I still vibrate and have this feeling of swollen head, but not as intense as before.

Today I had lunch with friends and stayed at their house all the afternoon, i managed to stay there. But it seems that during morning and some part of the afternoon is like I’m not really present, it’s a weird feeling, like I want to be present and trying to enjoy the most that’s possible, but somehow it’s like I’m not really present at that moment. I try to live my life the best way possible and try to deal with these weird symptoms, but somehow it feels like weird, like if most of the day I have this state where i try to manage symptoms but not able to fully be present and focused at the moment I’m living.

Then at the end of the afternoon, everything feels better. I can be focused, it feels even lighter. is this normal in WD?

Anxiety divides your mind and your awareness. It competes for your attention and tries to pull you away from anything that doesn't feed it. That's part of the reason why you feel a sense of depersonalization; your mind is literally divided between the here and now and your ruminations and fearful thoughts. But the fact you had a good time with your friends shows how weak those negative thoughts are; they lose their power when you shift your attention to positive things. You're really doing well!

Hi @mstimc60 it’s not really an anxiety state, but sure I feel my mind kind of divided like aware of what’s going on with me and at what’s going on at that moment. I don’t feel anxious, I don’t get that sensation of high heart rate or that my mind is ruminating in the thought. It’s more an in between situation… maybe a transition state (I don’t know if this is a thing). Maybe restlessness?? I don’t know yet how to name it well.

3 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

Hi @mstimc60 it’s not really an anxiety state, but sure I feel my mind kind of divided like aware of what’s going on with me and at what’s going on at that moment. I don’t feel anxious, I don’t get that sensation of high heart rate or that my mind is ruminating in the thought. It’s more an in between situation… maybe a transition state (I don’t know if this is a thing). Maybe restlessness?? I don’t know yet how to name it well.

Anxiety can take many forms. I rarely had an increased heart rate and my blood pressure was always normal. The restlessness you feel could by how your body manifests anxiety.

4 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Anxiety can take many forms. I rarely had an increased heart rate and my blood pressure was always normal. The restlessness you feel could by how your body manifests anxiety.

If Unconsciously I can accept that…because it’s not really something that I’m aware of creating.

You don't really consciously create it. Your nervous system is hyper sensitive from being medicated and withdrawal, so in one sense its physical, although its also something that will improve as you recover.

I can agree and confirm that anxiety can be an important and internal part of state you are describing, but it don't need to be present at least not all the time. Or not present at all.

I think restlessness is far more "universal" term, maybe. Maybe we can say the opposite - anxiety can be a form of restlessness, @mstimc60 I think it's understandable what @Healing_s means in this context, even though your formation is valid in general @mstimc60

She just want to say that psychically can't feel anxiety. What She want to describe is - her body and mind is stuck-freeze mode having some internal feeling of disconnection dissociation. And overthinking and rumination is nothing else - it's a freeze response.

Maybe we can made the things more clear if we look at a little bit different symthom. Akathisia. Some people will say then can sit still, the other will say internal physical tension, but at the same time some of them will feel panic, but the other won't. But after all, akathisia is state of emergency, just like DP.

Then at the end of the afternoon, everything feels better. I can be focused, it feels even lighter. is this normal in WD?

It's interesting that people with akathisia are also saying they feel better in the evening. Even myself. I can see that is is normal in WD.

2 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

You don't really consciously create it. Your nervous system is hyper sensitive from being medicated and withdrawal, so in one sense its physical, although its also something that will improve as you recover.

Yeah, something this way. We can say, something in the body isn't right, and consequently "mind" works differently. Am I right?

This is "philosophical" question - how is the best way to describe the thing...

Sorry, maybe I went too far trying to formalize what is the thing, but this is just because i am in this kind of state just all the time💩