53 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I just post this to write about my situation. It’s hard not to feel your emotions and feel depressed without no reason. It has being like this since April . Crying for no reason and anhedonia. Every day I wake up checking how I feel. Scared to wake up and happy to go to sleep. Nothing gives me the joy I felt before. I did a test and found out Zoloft is in the red and the dosis was to high al the years that I took it. And now after two times in the last couple months I’m afraid to RI again what will happen. I just want to feel normal and make plans and be able to take care of my child and let her live by me again.

I am so sorry things are so rough for you atm. We all understand.

I am not sure what the test is mention here.

You have two choices. Stay off and wait to recover (which you will) or RI a small dose of sertraline which may cushion things for you. I don't suspect your doctor will understand the small dose, so you may need to not need to not mention to them about his. This is a common tactic we are forced to use to get the refills. You have to choose how bad you are and if you would want to try a RI to help with things. If things are very bad 8-10/10 then maybe you should consider. If you feel it comes and goes in severity and things are more 5-6/10 perhaps consider staying off. This is a personal choice we all make for ourselves, we are here for you whatever you decide.

A big part of this journey is about learning to cope with the tough days. There is much talk on here of acceptance and distraction as the key skills required to make the journey easier whilst we heal. Have a read through the threads on the coping skills area of the site.

Any questions you have post them here in your person introduction thread.

Chippy x

You are the kindest. I really need to learn to deal with my situation. This is the hard part of this. In the morning I stay in the bed as long as I could. I can’t take care of my daughter and that hearts me ( I don’t feel this but I know i should be hurt). I try walking every day. I do what I can and try to understand what is happening to me . Next week I will talk with my doctor and see what it will bring. Thank you some much to be so understanding ❤️

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

You are the kindest.

We are here for you 100%

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

I really need to learn to deal with my situation.

This takes time, don't be hard on yourself. We all learn as we go and are never perfect.

2 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

In the morning I stay in the bed as long as I could.

I think it is best to set times for bed and stay in there during these times and then get up. Same times each day. But sometimes you have to do what you feel best x

2 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I try walking every day.

Good. A little exercise is wonderful.

2 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I do what I can and try to understand what is happening to me .

It is a lot to take in. Also if you have not listen to some of the Youtubers like Angie Peacock. I think it helps to feel heard and supported particularly in the beginning.

4 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Next week I will talk with my doctor and see what it will bring.

Hope this goes well. Just remember it is likley they will blame your mental health. Sometimes you have to take that on the chin if you need them for refills, but if they offer other drugs, my advice don't take them. If you choose to not RI, just give your doctor a 'wide birth' and concentrate on your healing. If you need them to help you RI then as I said just say you are taking the full dose so as to keep things simple for them. Perhaps try to work out if they understand WD, if they don't and start taking about your mental health you know they won't come with you on this journey. At least you will know where you stand.

xxxx

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hope this goes well. Just remember it is likley they will blame your mental health. Sometimes you have to take that on the chin if you need them for refills, but if they offer other drugs, my advice don't take them. If you choose to not RI, just give your doctor a 'wide birth' and concentrate on your healing. If you need them to help you RI then as I said just say you are taking the full dose so as to keep things simple for them. Perhaps try to work out if they understand WD, if they don't and start taking about your mental health you know they won't come with you on this journey. At least you will know where you stand.

I will post the results . Thank you for being here ❤️

@Saar8srl If I were in your situation, I wouldn't RI. Years ago, when I stopped my SSRI after being on about one year on it, the things were not that bad comparing to being on multiple drug for a decade. After one year, yes, anhedonia and brain fog and cognitive decline were already present, but later, when I quit everything after being on for a decade, I started getting internal and later external akathisia.

You mentioned you have crying spells. Yes, I had this two after one year of taking SSRI. But after starting again my ability to cry was slowly fading away, and when I halt everything for good, my ability to cry have not returned at all. If I look backward, I am sure that: it is better to have crying spells comparing to not having ability to cry at all.

If you RI and, hypothetically, feel better in some respects it doesn't mean that it will be happening continually. Your sleeping and digestion and cognitive decline can get worse. If I look backwards, my decade of being poly-drugged was a silent deterioration or decline - emotions, digestion, cognition, akathisia, dystonias... everything. Now I am 8 years off and I become somehow happy when I feel that my ability to cry is returning, but slowly, too slowly...

You don't need to take the risk!

i hope that someone will agree with that and will confirm that my thinking makes some sense...

Can I ask you why exactly you started smoking? I'm not judging you, I did that too, I am just curious.

Edited July 30Jul 30 by The Dust

Hi @The Dust . Thank you for taking the time to respond.

In April I had crying spells when I stopped the medication after 50mg cold turkey z my doctor told me so. After that my whole child hood and bad experiences came back. After the next time starting in may I get anhedonia and I cry somethings even though I have enough to cry about.

I started smoking in April when I start taking the Zoloft again.

For me it’s very difficult to get trough this all knowing it’s going to last more than a year or even longer. I would like to think about RI 1 mg and see what it’s doing but I’m not sure. Living like this is not easy as wel. Can you tell me what your drug history is or can I read it on your profile and how long was it for you to heal? 8 years?

I’m also thinking about what will happen if the anhedonia disappears ? What and how will feel then? Will there be more feelings, anxiety, anger and fear?

7 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

For me it’s very difficult to get trough this all knowing it’s going to last more than a year or even longer. I would like to think about RI 1 mg and see what it’s doing but I’m not sure. Living like this is not easy as wel. Can you tell me what your drug history is or can I read it on your profile and how long was it for you to heal? 8 years?

Hey there 👋

It might take that long, it might not. Everyone is different. And even if it does take that long there's no promise you'll feel as awful as you do now, the whole time. There's so many variables to it. It's best to accept and flow.

Also I'm in the same boat as you regarding your daughter. I have one and the guilt eats me alive sometimes. I take the soft honest approach and explain to her what has happened and how things will be for a while - good days and bad days.

How old is your little one? An age appropriate approach would be best.

You have found a wonderful family here who have all gone and are going through the same pains, doubts, fears and pain. We get it and we're here for you

Thank you so much sweet @cherrysquid ❤️. My daughter is 14 and doesn’t understand the situation because others tell her im depressed . If I read your signature your situation is kind of familiar with mine. You’re still taking the Zoloft ?

Do you also have my symptoms (anhedonia and depression)?

How old is your child ? Sorry for the questions but I just try to get to know you .

9 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Thank you so much sweet @cherrysquid ❤️. My daughter is 14 and doesn’t understand the situation because others tell her im depressed . If I read your signature your situation is kind of familiar with mine. You’re still taking the Zoloft ?

Do you also have my symptoms (anhedonia and depression)?

How old is your child ? Sorry for the questions but I just try to get to know you .

Don't be sorry its fine.

Yes I'm on zoloft / Sertraline.

I tapered too quickly yet the doctors think I tapered fine so dont believe its withdrawal.

I reinstated but I wasn't educated at the time and reinstated too high which amplified symptoms for a while. I had inner akathisia, intense agitation, sound and light sensitivity, vomitting, couldnt eat, inner vibrating, heaviness, burning etc.

Im at just over 9 weeks holding a steady dose and most of my symptoms have gone or are a lot milder. Im out of crisis but im still not stable.

14 is a difficult age its right on the precipice of being mature or not depends on her as an individual, obviously you know her best. I would just explain this is very misunderstood and you have an injury. You'll get better in time. You'll have good days and bad days. But you're safe.

I like to put it in perspective that some parents are battling something terminal and this is only temporary however hard it may be. ❤️

50 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

For me it’s very difficult to get trough this all knowing it’s going to last more than a year or even longer. I would like to think about RI 1 mg and see what it’s doing but I’m not sure. Living like this is not easy as wel. Can you tell me what your drug history is or can I read it on your profile and how long was it for you to heal? 8 years?

My drug history is into my signature. haha, After 8 years I am not healed at all. Last year I had moments when I was finally able to cry a little bit. Actually I was more healed in 2011 after 2 years of taking SSRI. Everything was great comparing to situation in this moment.

I am "jealous" when I read that you have crying spells, it's better than emotional anesthesia. You lucky bitch!🙂

Your decision is up to you,, but you know, what you are experiencing are not the scariest adverse drug reactions. Think about everything what could happen later: akathisia (can't stop moving), chemical sensitivities (You can tolerate even if person has perfume on his skin when you met him), insomnia, permanent sexual dysfunction, digestive issues (so bad that you can't eat not shit anymore), possible permanent movement disorders (involuntary movement) cognitive decline (simple math tasks are too hard problems), lost of smell and taste....

Think also this way. You can have a good luck and RI can help you: But for how long and for what price? You take a little bit, but after 1-2 years the things will probably wont be the same. The problem of these drugs is that you can feel actually quite when on them, but you can predict the moment when you will fall apart because of them. Like sexual dysfunction. Some people can ta on SSRI for years but they suddenly become dead down there. Some people also months after quitting...

Why exactly you started smoking? I'm curios..

Edited July 30Jul 30 by The Dust

i started it because of the peace it gives me . Will I understand your point of view but living with andehonia and depression is also not easy. I don’t know how I feel every day and it’s a surprise . I don’t have cry spills I cry sometimes a little . After the last time Zoloft I don’t have any emotions 😏

@Saar8srl Sorry, if i am asking too much, but I want to understand.

In august 2025 you quit Sertraline/Zolof, but you got brain zaps for the first time in april 2026? That's why you RI Sertraline and since that moment you feel anhedonia and emotional anesthesia. Am I right? Before that moment you were still able to cry?

No need to be sorry. I was ok but a bit depressed but nothing like how I feel now . I stopped in aug last year yes and had a brain zap middel in the night in April and the day after without thinking I started oxa and Zoloft. Before that I had my crying and normal life. Also in April after starting with Zoloft and upping to 50 mg and stopping I had very bad depression and crying spells and that stopped after the staring in may , than anhedonia started .

Thanks.

Does it not sounds interesting that you got brain zaps almost one year after quitting ?

Does it not sounds interesting that after your first quitting crying spell and after next quitting, the opposite - not crying anymore?

7 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

I just post this to write about my situation. It’s hard not to feel your emotions and feel depressed without no reason. It has being like this since April . Crying for no reason and anhedonia. Every day I wake up checking how I feel. Scared to wake up and happy to go to sleep. Nothing gives me the joy I felt before. I did a test and found out Zoloft is in the red and the dosis was to high al the years that I took it. And now after two times in the last couple months I’m afraid to RI again what will happen. I just want to feel normal and make plans and be able to take care of my child and let her live by me again.

You are dealing with classic withdrawal. The body needs time to heal.... reinstatement cushions the symptoms....your body is dependent on the drug unfortunately. Reinstatement is fine best within 4 months of stopping. Symptoms can get worse before getting better. There is no easy solution.

22 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

I just heard from my doctor that I can also be in the menopause. Is it an idea to start hormone therapie when I’m in WD?

It is not recommended to start anything new at this time. Hrt can complicate things.

If you really really want to try something to get some relief, maybe you can speak with your doctor about trying Bupropion. it's is call "atypical antidepressiantst", but actually it's not real antidepressant, it's a stimulant - mood and energy booster, actually the thing that may be helpful for you at this moment. In terms of digestive and sexual problems is in less risky than SSRI, even though it has some risks, like seizures... As you have probably already recognized by yourself, being on SSRI for a longer period of time won't take your anhedonia back. It will probably just cause more numbness.

It’s common that after a long time using SSRI sometimes later on the WD starts. Also after the second time starting and stooping Zoloft can bring your system in shock and then anhedonia starts. I red a lot about this.

I will discuss it on 5 on aug when I have to go to my psychiatrist. See what she will offer. I don’t know starting something new is going to help me further but we will see.

2 hours ago, The Dust said:

If you really really want to try something to get some relief, maybe you can speak with your doctor about trying Bupropion. it's is call "atypical antidepressiantst", but actually it's not real antidepressant, it's a stimulant - mood and energy booster, actually the thing that may be helpful for you at this moment. In terms of digestive and sexual problems is in less risky than SSRI, even though it has some risks, like seizures... As you have probably already recognized by yourself, being on SSRI for a longer period of time won't take your anhedonia back. It will probably just cause more numbness.

Buproprion is a very problematic drug. There are members who struggled and are still struggling horrifically on this drug. @Go2zero @j1290

It basically works like an amphetamine.

2 hours ago, The Dust said:

If you really really want to try something to get some relief, maybe you can speak with your doctor about trying Bupropion. it's is call "atypical antidepressiantst", but actually it's not real antidepressant, it's a stimulant - mood and energy booster, actually the thing that may be helpful for you at this moment. In terms of digestive and sexual problems is in less risky than SSRI, even though it has some risks, like seizures... As you have probably already recognized by yourself, being on SSRI for a longer period of time won't take your anhedonia back. It will probably just cause more numbness.

I know you're trying to help, but suggesting more drugs on a forum where we are trying to stablise and get off drugs isn't very productive x

Could I get more physical and emotional symptoms now I stopped the oxazpem weeks ago? I just wonder.

@LostinCanada @cherrysquid Of course it is!

I wrote above that my opinion is that her suffering is not severe enough to require psych medication. But at the same time I added that if she really want to take anything, the Bupropion (or any other dopaminergic-noradrenergic drug) is safer and more effective option than staying on SSRI. Mentioning safer option is not the same as "taking more drugs". But, after all, I probably really did something stupid by saying this.

Edited July 30Jul 30 by The Dust

13 minutes ago, The Dust said:

@LostinCanada @cherrysquid Of course it is!

I wrote above that my opinion is that her suffering is not severe enough to require psych medication. But at the same time I added that if she really want to take anything, the Bupropion (or any other dopaminergic-noradrenergic drug) is safer and more effective option than staying on SSRI. Mentioning safer option is not the same as "taking more drugs". But, after all, I probably really did something stupid by saying this.

Its hard to find a balance between helping (believe me i know) and potentially scaring or confusing someone. We are in fragile states here sometimes is all i mean

22 minutes ago, The Dust said:

Bupropion (or any other dopaminergic-noradrenergic drug) is safer and more effective option than staying on SSRI.

Unfortunately we can't say this because we really don't know how someone will respond.

I know you meant well. ❤️🙏

31 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Could I get more physical and emotional symptoms now I stopped the oxazpem weeks ago?

Yes