On 9/23/2026 at 3:07 PM, Saar8srl said:

Thanks Luke, I’m trying to tell myself the same thing when it’s very very hard. It’s so hard to cope with this. I have a much bigger problem with the feelings and thoughts I have when the wave hits. I start to feel miserable and feel like a looser. Everyone is going on with their lives and I’m here doing nothing and can’t do nothing … is this my underlying problem or do you guys also suffer from this “compering” problem ?

All the time, and for me it's objectively true. I spent years not working, disabled, being cared for by my parents in my 30s.

All we can do is get better.

@Saar8srl I can understand why you're feeling so insecure about what to do. When you're feeling this bad, every change in symptoms can make you question whether you're doing the right thing.

I will tell you what I personally believe. Looking at everything you've been through, I sometimes think that after so many medication changes, the only way forward may be to give your nervous system some time to settle and live through some of these symptoms without making any additional changes. I know that is really hard because when you feel awful, you want to do something to make it better. I have lived this thought process myself, but sometimes there isn't something else we need to do or can do. Sometimes we just have to give our bodies time to work through what has already happened.

You mentioned working with Mark Horowitz. If you are working with him or his clinic, I would ask him these questions directly. I just gave you my thoughts based on my own experience, and I don't want my thoughts to add to your confusion or make you question what you've been told by your doctor. Sometimes when we are getting slightly different advice from different sources, we can spend so much time trying to figure out which advice is right that it just makes us more anxious. I know I did this myself, and I would hate for that to happen to you when you're already feeling so frightened and uncertain.

Maybe for now, you can give yourself a little breathing room and allow things some time to settle before feeling like you need to make any immediate changes. I know that is hard when each day feels so painful, but you don't have to figure everything out today.

And remember, two days of anhedonia doesn't tell you what is going to happen. A wave doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong or that you're getting worse. Be gentle with yourself. ❤️

Thanks you @RachelSusan . I talked to him and he told me to increase the dose until I feel a bit better . Not perfect but stable. X

6 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Thanks you @RachelSusan . I talked to him and he told me to increase the dose until I feel a bit better . Not perfect but stable. X

@Saar8srl I'm glad you were able to talk with him and get some guidance. I know this is a very difficult place to be in, and I hope you can find a little stability and relief soon. ❤️

If you are thinking of updosing you can email dr stuart shipko he can give advice with reinstatements and going up a dose if you email him he will respond for free you can find his email online

18 minutes ago, wheretogonow said:

If you are thinking of updosing you can email dr stuart shipko he can give advice with reinstatements and going up a dose if you email him he will respond for free you can find his email online

@wheretogonow Thank you. I already did updose. How are you?

Edited September 29Sep 29 by Saar8srl

Update on Ri.

My sleep was the only thing wich gave me some relief from the deep depression and now since a few days can’t also fall asleep. I don’t know if this is wd of Ri. I was able to sleep since July but it never felt natural. More pass out and wake up not rested and just toxic. Don’t know if I’m doing the right with this ri. But I couldn’t take the depression anymore . It’s was too hard so know I’m stuck in something wich I don’t know is holding back my prgress or not …

I’m not fine. Woke up very activated . Didn’t sleep at all. Don’t know if it’s because the delayed reaction of the Ri. What to do know?

@Saar8srl Don't second guess your choice to RI, you choose to, it is done now, I think you have seen some signs it has helped. Unfortunately waves and windows happen as we stablise and it can take some time for RI to take full effect. Symptoms can and often do fluctuate. We have little choices in WD, you made one, trust it was the right call. Now you have to learn to accept what comes next and trust your body is doing what it needs to do. I know that is hard, it is however imo the way forward for all of us. xxxxxxx

I feel so alienated from myself. I don't feel human—as if I’m not really here, even though my body is. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I have the feeling that something terrible is wrong with me and that things will never get better. I haven't read about these symptoms anywhere else. At first, there was this intense, empty, depressive feeling; that has subsided a little, but now I feel alienated from myself. It feels really frightening and unreal. Can someone tell me what is happening here? Is this because of the Ri? I don’t want to ask so much but all this things makes me scared and I just don’t know what is happening…

25 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Don't second guess your choice to RI, you choose to, it is done now, I think you have seen some signs it has helped. Unfortunately waves and windows happen as we stablise and it can take some time for RI to take full effect. Symptoms can and often do fluctuate. We have little choices in WD, you made one, trust it was the right call. Now you have to learn to accept what comes next and trust your body is doing what it needs to do. I know that is hard, it is however imo the way forward for all of us. xxxxxxx

I understand your point but I had to make that choice. You just don’t know if it was the right one and what it it makes you worse and harm your cnz even more.. nobody’s knows this … when is the right time to find out if this was a good choice. I don’t think holding to a dose that might harm you is a good idea. But when do you know if you have a bad reaction from the Ri.

6 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I understand your point but I had to make that choice. You just don’t know if it was the right one and what it it makes you worse and harm your cnz even more.. nobody’s knows this … when is the right time to find out if this was a good choice. I don’t think holding to a dose that might harm you is a good idea. But when do you know if you have a bad reaction from the Ri.

Personally, I think you are in the very early stages of waves and windows, the changes are normal. They happen no matter what you do. The scanning mind wants to apply blame. This is normal. I see it a lot. I suspect if you choose to reduce the dose and get off the RI you may feel worse and regret further changes. Only you can decide what is best. We are all here for you what ever path you take. xxxx

@Chippy so all what I’m experiencing is normal and common? People have experience this also? Why am I thinking I must be the most severe case emotionally? It’s not that I have to reduce the Ri but I just don’t want to harm myself more than need to…thank you for being here for me . I feel so scared and hopeless

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

@Chippy so all what I’m experiencing is normal and common? People have experience this also? Why am I thinking I must be the most severe case emotionally? It’s not that I have to reduce the Ri but I just don’t want to harm myself more than need to…thank you for being here for me . I feel so scared and hopeless

Oh @Saar8srl it is so common unfortunately. Neuro emotions are one of the biggest and strongest symptoms in WD especially early on, sleep distruptions happen to almost everyone, I would say maybe everyone at some point. I am sorry you feel so hopeless. You shouldn't do, you are not alone. The body is amazing, we have to trust it and give lots of time. xxx

3 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

I feel so alienated from myself. I don't feel human—as if I’m not really here, even though my body is. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I have the feeling that something terrible is wrong with me and that things will never get better. I haven't read about these symptoms anywhere else. At first, there was this intense, empty, depressive feeling; that has subsided a little, but now I feel alienated from myself. It feels really frightening and unreal. Can someone tell me what is happening here? Is this because of the Ri? I don’t want to ask so much but all this things makes me scared and I just don’t know what is happening…

Hi @Saar8srl I just wanted to reassure you that these are absolutely normal withdrawal symptoms. If you search DP/DR or depersonalisation/derealisation in the forum you'll find many others who have experienced symptoms like this. I've had derealisation myself, where the world feels removed from you and you feel like you can't connect emotionally with anything around you. Luckily it faded for me and I haven't experienced it in awhile. It's crazy what WD can do to our brains, but nothing is forever and all of these symptoms will fade in time 💜

@SarahMc i just keep telling myself it’s wd. I wish I had symptoms wich were related to my body .. this emotional pain is so hard to deal with. It’s such a torture every day. In this state I can’t even distract myself . I’m sorry I just need to het it out . I wish I knew when this is going to be a little less hard for me …don’t know how to proceed

Dear @Saar8srl, no, you are not alone. I am also in deep Inhumane dépression + night hot flashes and terror... It has been 7 months now without window... Nothing distracts me... But we have to trust our body.

@skamen how do you go through the day without any window ? I hope you are not alone and that someone is taking care of you dear ❤️

3 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

@SarahMc i just keep telling myself it’s wd. I wish I had symptoms wich were related to my body .. this emotional pain is so hard to deal with. It’s such a torture every day. In this state I can’t even distract myself . I’m sorry I just need to het it out . I wish I knew when this is going to be a little less hard for me …don’t know how to proceed

I understand, the emotional/psychological symptoms are the hardest for me too when they come up. I had unrelenting intense feelings of doom/dread and anxiety for a couple months at the start of my hold. But they eased and now only come back in waves. Your symptoms will ease in time too. One day at a time.

Don’t want to scare anyone but what are you guys think about we all have a permanent brain damage ?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEDQYbfP65-/?stkn=MWFkZThjaWc3MHBicw==

Even if it were permanent damage, I will never go back to those toxins.

Edited September 29Sep 29 by lost4ever
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15 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Don’t want to scare anyone but what are you guys think about we all have a permanent brain damage ?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEDQYbfP65-/?stkn=MWFkZThjaWc3MHBicw==

Even if it were permanent damage, I will never go back to those toxins.

@lost4ever are you a experiencing some relief already? I hope they will come more often for you. Do you have severe symptoms?

20 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Don’t want to scare anyone but what are you guys think about we all have a permanent brain damage ?

This video doesn't suggest that this is permanent. Dr Josef deliberately uses the term "long lasting" rather than permanent. Also, the damage is not structural, it is functional, and we know that our brains are very plastic. New pathways can be formed and we can heal. It just takes a long time for some.

5 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

@lost4ever are you a experiencing some relief already? I hope they will come more often for you. Do you have severe symptoms?

My symptoms are crazy, just like me! 😅 They are like the flashing lights of a police car. Yes, my symptoms are extremely severe, but I have accepted most of them—both the mental and physical ones, in a crazy way.