Has anyone of you guys had mild depression before al this start? Do you ever think about this could be the new you? What do you guys do to get through the day when you have lack of motivation? I really try and sometimes if I’m in a window when i see a glimpse of myself, I don’t trust it and think this could be just a honeymoon period . Then I still don’t have motivation enough to do things . I just have a bit energie . This wd really is hard to deal with. Please if anyone recognize this feelings let me know.

People who experience depression before and now experience Anhedonia .

7 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Has anyone of you guys had mild depression before al this start? Do you ever think about this could be the new you? What do you guys do to get through the day when you have lack of motivation? I really try and sometimes if I’m in a window when i see a glimpse of myself, I don’t trust it and think this could be just a honeymoon period . Then I still don’t have motivation enough to do things . I just have a bit energie . This wd really is hard to deal with. Please if anyone recognize this feelings let me know.

People who experience depression before and now experience Anhedonia .

@Saar8srl I think mild or worse depression is par for the course. If you're not motivated to do much consider it your brain deliberately conserving energy. If you google "Central Governor" there's a physiological reason for this and likely a psychological one. Here's a synopsis.

The Psychological Governor: From Fight-or-Flight to Freeze

When you are hypervigilant, your amygdala (the brain's threat detector) is working in overdrive, pumping out stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Because the human brain cannot sustain this high-alert state forever without taking damage, it triggers a survival mechanism known as the Polyvagal Theory’s "Dorsal Vagal" response.

When the brain realizes it cannot fight the threat and cannot run away from it, it forces you to slow down through several distinct psychological symptoms:

• Brain Fog and Cognitive Slowing: Your brain actively limits your high-level thinking (the prefrontal cortex). Processing information, making decisions, and remembering things suddenly feels like wading through wet cement. This is your brain reducing its power consumption to protect itself.

• Emotional Numbing (Dissociation): To prevent you from being crushed by overwhelming anxiety or panic, the brain dampens your emotions. You might feel detached, flat, or completely empty. It is a psychological anaesthetic.

• Profound Mental Fatigue: You might feel completely exhausted despite doing no physical labor. This fatigue is a command from your brain telling you to withdraw, isolate, and rest so your nervous system can attempt to recalibrate.

• Anhedonia: The sudden inability to feel pleasure or care about your usual hobbies. Your brain deems these activities non-essential for survival and cuts the dopamine supply to them to conserve energy.

Why Your Brain Does This

In trauma informed therapy, this is understood not as a malfunction, but as adaptive survival. Your brain is looking at your hyperarousal and saying, "If we keep running at 10,000 RPM, the engine is going to blow. I am turning on safe mode."

It forces a state of involuntary rest because you are unable to choose rest voluntarily.

I just don’t feel I am able to recover. Sorry guys I’m not optimistic like you. I lost everything I have worked so hard for. Work my daughter my life. Laying in bed feeling numb and depressed. No energy for nothing. Can’t believe this is happening to me

@Saar8srl Did you have that appointment with Dr H a few days ago? How is the 2mg? Any changes?

The severe depression with the full head is gone. Had somewhat better evenings. But now Anhedonia and depression are here. Can’t shower and do hygiene .

Yes had the appointment and he told me to updose gradually. I just don’t see any positive side of this and I hate myself because of this. I wish I could believe this is wd and me. I just believe this is me now. Whatever I tell myself I still believe in the real me is now the way she is. That means someone without motivation, positive vibes and lack of everything. I really try it’s just not working. I do go outside , talk to friends but nothing helps. I take myself with me where I go. Mark told me that it can take more than a year and with Ri sooner. I believed him then but not now anymore…. I just can’t stand this situation when I want to do something but I just can’t because I don’t see the use in it….

6 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

The severe depression with the full head is gone. Had somewhat better evenings. But now Anhedonia and depression are here. Can’t shower and do hygiene .

Yes had the appointment and he told me to updose gradually. I just don’t see any positive side of this and I hate myself because of this. I wish I could believe this is wd and me. I just believe this is me now. Whatever I tell myself I still believe in the real me is now the way she is. That means someone without motivation, positive vibes and lack of everything. I really try it’s just not working. I do go outside , talk to friends but nothing helps. I take myself with me where I go. Mark told me that it can take more than a year and with Ri sooner. I believed him then but not now anymore…. I just can’t stand this situation when I want to do something but I just can’t because I don’t see the use in it….

I understand the struggle a lot, we just have to keep going despite everything, there are things to enjoy in this life, there are things to look forward to.

We continue going not cause it's easy, but because there is no other way other than moving forward.

Yes @Saar8srl You have been asking a lot and yes I can say that, just as @Catbird described above in a survival mode that is keeping me on a autopilot and there is not place for anything beyond that. Just to survive and to avoid pain and nothing else. Before meds I felt burned our, but I still had emotions, but now, my survival mode is so severe that there is no place for emotions anymore.

But, I still believe, that this is not real me. Real me stays unknown, so far...

5 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Has anyone of you guys had mild depression before al this start? Do you ever think about this could be the new you? What do you guys do to get through the day when you have lack of motivation? I really try and sometimes if I’m in a window when i see a glimpse of myself, I don’t trust it and think this could be just a honeymoon period . Then I still don’t have motivation enough to do things . I just have a bit energie . This wd really is hard to deal with. Please if anyone recognize this feelings let me know.

People who experience depression before and now experience Anhedonia

@Saar8srl everyone here got on these drugs for a reason, because we weren't feeling good in one way or another. For me it was bad anxiety, for others I'm sure it was depression. But for the vast majority of us, and for you too, the way we felt trying to come off the drugs was unlike anything we'd ever experienced before. That's how we know this is not the "new you."

The real you is still there, underneath all this, and with enough time and patience she will survive and flourish. All you have to do for now is keep going, one foot in front of the other 💜

@SarahMc it’s not that I don’t want to. The depression is just killing me so I can’t even get myself distracted. I only feel pain now at 6 months off. It’s just so hard I don’t know how to deal with it

41 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

@SarahMc it’s not that I don’t want to. The depression is just killing me so I can’t even get myself distracted. I only feel pain now at 6 months off. It’s just so hard I don’t know how to deal with it

I know it's so hard, I've had days where the emotional pain is so intense that I can't distract and I can't imagine going through that for 6 months straight with very few breaks. But you're stronger than you know, and I believe you can get through this. We're all right here with you 💜💜💜

@SarahMc so you experience this too? Did the depression went away after 6 months? I can’t imagine being like this for more month….

@SarahMc did you try anything for your depression? Did you try Ri or other medication? It’s just so hard and it hearts so much.

11 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

@SarahMc did you try anything for your depression? Did you try Ri or other medication? It’s just so hard and it hearts so much.

I have had some depression, but it has not been my primary symptom. If you look at my signature, you'll see that after cold-turkeying my long-term antidepressant I did try several other drugs to treat my symptoms (before I understood that I was actually experiencing WD). The other drugs did not help and for the most part made me worse. We cannot use drugs to treat withdrawal.

I think your choices are either to stay where you are and ride this out or to follow Mark H's advice and continue slowly updosing. Either way, it may be a long and winding road but you will recover. Please keep telling yourself that every day.

Hi ,

Increased to 4 mg yesterday but had an active reaction so went back today to 3mg. Will I be ok? I feel so odd and disconnect from live. Had a few days last week when I felt relief. Can someone tell me if I’m doing the right thing. Feels like this is my life now in bed most of the time . Will I ever stabilize? Mark also doesn’t know what to say. He just told ne to increase because the last Ri did me good but that also could be a “honeymoon period”. So he told me I could gradually do up. But it’s a risk. I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone have experience with Ri and how to handle this situation? I’m going to hold now for a while on 3mg. Anyone who can help wirh experience?

33 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Hi ,

Increased to 4 mg yesterday but had an active reaction so went back today to 3mg. Will I be ok? I feel so odd and disconnect from live. Had a few days last week when I felt relief. Can someone tell me if I’m doing the right thing. Feels like this is my life now in bed most of the time . Will I ever stabilize? Mark also doesn’t know what to say. He just told ne to increase because the last Ri did me good but that also could be a “honeymoon period”. So he told me I could gradually do up. But it’s a risk. I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone have experience with Ri and how to handle this situation? I’m going to hold now for a while on 3mg. Anyone who can help wirh experience?

Hey I am sorry you felt that from 4mg. I think reducing to 3mg is a good idea personally based on your reaction. Now you have perhaps found the ceiling of what your body can cope with I would stay on this dose now for the next week or so and just observe. You will be ok, trust your system to settle down. You will be ok, others have before you, just feels terrible in the moment we know.

33 minutes ago, Chippy said:

am sorry you felt that from 4mg. I think reducing to 3mg is a good idea personally based on your reaction. Now you have perhaps found the ceiling of what your body can cope with I would stay on this dose now for the next week or so and just observe. You will be ok, trust your system to settle down. You will be ok, others have before you, just feels terrible in the moment we know

Thank you chippy but you don’t know that. I have CT’d , reinstated twice and now I’m bedridden. How do you possibly know I would be back to my old self.

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

Thank you chippy but you don’t know that. I have CT’d , reinstated twice and now I’m bedridden. How do you possibly know I would be back to my old self.

We know the body has amazing ability to stabilise and heal. Having some faith helps keep the mind calm and helps not add to the symptoms.

a human being needs something to hold on to . I don’t have anything left and even my daughter I can’t see or talk to. I’m dead inside and can’t able to function. Can’t take this anymore

2 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

a human being needs something to hold on to . I don’t have anything left and even my daughter I can’t see or talk to. I’m dead inside and can’t able to function. Can’t take this anymore

Please keep yourself safe. You are stronger than you know. Just one day at a time is all you need to be concerned with. One hour if that’s what it takes. There is lots of hope. Unfortunately when in the depths of this it’s hard to see the hope but it’s there.

5 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Thank you chippy but you don’t know that. I have CT’d , reinstated twice and now I’m bedridden. How do you possibly know I would be back to my old self.

Many people who came before us have made mistakes on this journey, have found themselves in terrible shape, and have gone on to recover. You will too @Saar8srl. Hold on for your daughter, it will get better 💜

@SarahMc thNk you Sarah. I just try and try . The depression really is eating me alive

I seriously start to doubt my condition. Is it normal to have so much emotional pain from depression? This cannot be wd. It’s now 6 months since my first Ri which cause this. Anyone ?

I also don’t think the Ri is doing it for me.

2 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

I seriously start to doubt my condition. Is it normal to have so much emotional pain from depression? This cannot be wd. It’s now 6 months since my first Ri which cause this. Anyone ?

Unfortunately timelines in withdrawal are always very uncertain and recovery can take a long time for some. But it has only been 2 and a half months or so since you quit your last psych med (before your current RI). I don't think there is any reason for you to believe this is anything but withdrawal.

2 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Is it normal to have so much emotional pain from depression? This cannot be wd. It’s now 6 months since my first Ri which cause this. Anyone ?

Please read my recent post. It is absolutely possible to be profoundly depressed more days than not as a function of withdrawal. I have had this 70% of the time (according to my mood chart) for almost 12 months since ceasing medication. Unfortunately what you are experiencing is entirely consistent with WD.