21 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I’m not trying to freak people out here but this is the place where I freely can talk about my feelings and what is going on in my mind . I can’t imagine this is my life now and can’t imagine thinking about si. Nerver thought my life will come to this point to even think about this things.

We are all here for you @Saar8srl! You have come this far so you will make it! This is what’s these drugs do to us, but it’s not who we really are.

Please keep safe!

you guys make me wanna cry. How is it possible that such great and lovely human beings are hurt like this. Each of you until now didn’t do anything else than giving hope and love. I’m sorry I’m not able to give it back often. ❤️really I can say you feel like a family I never had. How weird is this

18 minutes ago, Healing_s said:

We are all here for you @Saar8srl! You have come this far so you will make it! This is what’s these drugs do to us, but it’s not who we really are.

Please keep safe!

Thanks hon but I’m only quit my Zoloft in may. I hope your healing proces will be good. Wish you al the love health and hopes

11 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I’m sorry I’m not able to give it back often. ❤️

No worries! Only if you feel a bit lighter that’s possible. Now, only focus on surviving. I said everyday “okay another day has passed that you never ever have to relive again”.

16 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

❤️really I can say you feel like a family I never had. How weird is this

I think a lot of us feel this way! I definitely do -- we're like a big family of lost souls trying to find our way out of the dark together. And no one gets left behind!

17 minutes ago, Sophia said:

No worries! Only if you feel a bit lighter that’s possible. Now, only focus on surviving. I said everyday “okay another day has passed that you never ever have to relive again”.

You are such a sweetheart dear @Sophia . I wish that al your dreams come true .. muahhh ( kiss sound);

44 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

Each of you until now didn’t do anything else than giving hope and love. I’m sorry I’m not able to give it back often.

You dont have to apologize nor stress about that!

44 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

❤️really I can say you feel like a family I never had. How weird is this

This community really does feel like a family!

Take it one day at a time and youll be fine!

2 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Thank you for your massage . My daughter is not living with me at the moment . My depression and anhedonia make it hard for me to function even on my own. It’s really painful because I used to take care by myself since her birth. But what can I do . Nobody wants this situation …I wish you al best in your recovery my dear. My heart is with you

Do the best you can with what you’re currently capable of to take care of your health. We can’t expect someone who has just broken their leg to run a marathon.

Our loved ones simply need to know that we’re alive, nothing more. She hasn’t forgotten who you are, and she still loves you endlessly. Just because you’re no longer able to take care of her as well as you used to doesn’t mean that you have no value anymore.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. My heart goes out to you as well, and I know that you will get through this difficult time.

12 minutes ago, Some0n3 said:

You dont have to apologize nor stress about that!

❤️❤️❤️

3 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

Hi there,

Nice to meet you. I’m from Amsterdam. Hope you are doing ok. Lots of love

Amsterdam is a beautiful place! I look forward to going back one day once I’m better. I remember ice skating on the canals in Rotterdam during the winter.

Enjoying proper freshly made stroop waffles, bitterballen, frites with pindasaus & drop. Lekker lekker

I’m sending love your way and I hope your RI goes well. I had to RI last year after a few different doses. I stabilized and so can you ❤️

@Saar8srl just reading through you thread and so very sorry you are having to endure this wave saw this on my prayer guide and hope it helps my dear friend.

Lord

May I learn on you for a while? My heart is weary from the battles I've been fighting in silence. There are burdens I've carried for so long that I don't even know how to put them into words. Yet I know You understand every tear, every fear, and every unspoken prayer. Lord, I'm not giving up- I am simply tired. Please let me rest in your presence for a moment. Wrap me in Your love, quiet my anxious heart, and remind me that I don't have to carry these burdens alone. Renew my strength, Fill my heart with hope again, and help me rise one step at a time. Even when I cannot see the way ahead, help me trust that You are walking beside me and that Your plans for me are good. Please stay close to me. Lord, Heal the places in my heart that are hurting, and let joy find it's way back into my life in Your perfect time. Amen

@Saar8srl , as God is your strength, lean on him for guidance as we are all here for you. This site is truly family, kind, caring, compassionate, and so much love for one another. I will say a extra prayer to the Lord for some much needed relief for you. Hugs xxx Bernadette 🤗❤️

49 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

, as God is your strength, lean on him for guidance as we are all here for you. This site is truly family, kind, caring, compassionate, and so much love for one another. I will say a extra prayer to the Lord for some much needed relief for you. Hugs xxx Bernadette 🤗❤️

I have goosebumps al over my body reading this tekst. Thank you so much for this dear @Bernadette . I come from Iran and have been raised with the fact that having a religion is very important. I never believed in god until now. I know it sounds crazy. I just start thinking the “why’s” and “how’s”. It’s amazing that you found your relief and hope from your religion. I can feel the love and passion your holding in go your heart from my phone. You are a special and wonderful lady who is able to help others in this journey . Al the love and warm hugs for you ❤️

1 hour ago, Johan1233 said:

I’m sending love your way and I hope your RI goes well. I had to RI last year after a few different doses. I stabilized and so can you ❤️

That’s so cute your dutch is pretty good. How was it for you to stabilize? Were you kindled as wel? How long did the stabilization cost for you?

9 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

That’s so cute your dutch is pretty good. How was it for you to stabilize? Were you kindled as wel? How long did the stabilization cost for you?

Thank you!

One day it just clicked in my head, it’s hard to explain. I wasn’t totally symptom free but they were so much more manageable.

It took around 8 months the first time round and it’s been about the same time for the second round without stabilization. Maybe soon or maybe not

I haven’t been kindled, I would convince myself that I had in a nasty wave but that was just my anxiety talking

Hope you’re ok

13 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

you guys make me wanna cry. How is it possible that such great and lovely human beings are hurt like this. Each of you until now didn’t do anything else than giving hope and love. I’m sorry I’m not able to give it back often. ❤️really I can say you feel like a family I never had. How weird is this

That is so nice of you to say and I agree, everyone is so lovley, we didn't know what it would be like to run a site like this, I feel so blessed to have met you all. xxxx

Never feel pressure to do anything on here, there is time for you to hang out with others and support them once you feel up to it. :)

23 minutes ago, Chippy said:

That is so nice of you to say and I agree, everyone is so lovley, we didn't know what it would be like to run a site like this, I feel so blessed to have met you all. xxxx

Never feel pressure to do anything on here, there is time for you to hang out with others and support them once you feel up to it. :)

Thank you so much @Chippy . You and @Luke are the ones who make it happen ❤️

As you know I am taking my drops daily now but I have the feeling I want to be more precise about the mg also when I will be tapering off.Is there a scale that measure milligram to 0.01 that I van buy. It’s very hard for me to use the syringe when I measure small amounts because of the liquid being to tick. I tried but failed …

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

Thank you so much @Chippy . You and @Luke are the ones who make it happen ❤️

…

Its a team sport for sure!

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

As you know I am taking my drops daily now but I have the feeling I want to be more precise about the mg also when I will be tapering off.Is there a scale that measure milligram to 0.01 that I van buy. It’s very hard for me to use the syringe when I measure small amounts because of the liquid being to tick. I tried but failed …

So you are taking 1 drop now? Or using the syringe to measure the dose still?

No I am still taking the drops and on 2 mg. I really don’t want to change more . I don’t know for sure but I have the feeling when i start a Ri I also have to give it some time to adapt . Otherwise there is no point to start it. Does the brain even heal when you Ri a small amount of is it the best to heal without ?

3 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

No I am still taking the drops and on 2 mg. I really don’t want to change more . I don’t know for sure but I have the feeling when i start a Ri I also have to give it some time to adapt . Otherwise there is no point to start it. Does the brain even heal when you Ri a small amount of is it the best to heal without ?

Ok, thanks for letting us know, yes it is advised to hold the dose and observe, it's more judging if you feel the dose is making you worse in an obvious way.

You don't need to do anything with your dose to make it more accurate than it is right now. You are doing fine.

When you come to taper we will get you to dilute the dose in water, this will allow you to make a more acurate reduction of this dose. For the moment what you are doing is just fine.

7 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Ok, thanks for letting us know, yes it is advised to hold the dose and observe, it's more judging if you feel the dose is making you worse in an obvious way

I was very much blunted yesterday but today it’s a bit better . So I will see how it goes from here .

3 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I was very much blunted yesterday but today it’s a bit better . So I will see how it goes from here .

Thats great to hear, let us know how you go xxx

I need advise from you guys . When I am blunted and have no thoughts it’s “easy” to just ride it out . When I feel a bit better I start to hesitate my current situation. Start to think is this my life now, is this me without the Zoloft? IMO we all went on drugs for a reason, so did I. I just want to know if it’s just me who is hesitating if she is becoming a depressed person that doesn’t want to do anything and is not enjoying things anymore … any idea or advice is welkom. I just don’t know I can call everything that’s happening WD.

2 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I need advise from you guys . When I am blunted and have no thoughts it’s “easy” to just ride it out . When I feel a bit better I start to hesitate my current situation. Start to think is this my life now, is this me without the Zoloft? IMO we all went on drugs for a reason, so did I. I just want to know if it’s just me who is hesitating if she is becoming a depressed person that doesn’t want to do anything and is not enjoying things anymore … any idea or advice is welkom. I just don’t know I can call everything that’s happening WD.

Its most definitely a symptom. As someome who suffered anxiety and OCD from a very young age, the chemical manifestations of these issues are totally different.

Earlier in my journey my brain convinced me these pills were poisoning me and I should just stop but if I did that id be a lot worse off.

The anxiety and OCD were nothing compared to this and made me realise I didnt need medication at all, just coping methods.

This will pass in time. The feelings in WD arent you its your brain in survival mode as it scrambles to repair your CNS.

Youre doing so well ❤️

1 minute ago, Saar8srl said:

I need advise from you guys . When I am blunted and have no thoughts it’s “easy” to just ride it out . When I feel a bit better I start to hesitate my current situation. Start to think is this my life now, is this me without the Zoloft? IMO we all went on drugs for a reason, so did I. I just want to know if it’s just me who is hesitating if she is becoming a depressed person that doesn’t want to do anything and is not enjoying things anymore … any idea or advice is welkom. I just don’t know I can call everything that’s happening WD.

It's easy to doubt the WD, it can feel so real. We all understand this. IMO you can't compartmentalise what is WD and what is 'you' when you are in WD. There is not two central nervous systems. Just one, and yours is harmed. The CNS is a tool, the processor if you will for your emotions and feelings and reactions. When it is faulty, how can it do it's job! It can't. So stress is hard. Normal stress is hard. Little things that you do in the day that it needs to take care of for you, well it can't properly, instead it rings the alarm bells or shuts you down, both in defence of the system which is struggling. Of course the cause can look like the stress or a situation familar to you, the thing that is happening in life right now perhaps, but of course in reality the cause is the injured nervous system not you.

Most of us also can recognise how extreme the symptoms are, often irrational over the top and not like before dialled up to 11+. This is a good tell. WD is hard. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault.

@cherrysquid it’s really hard to not believe this feelings and thoughts . Did you also take Zoloft for depression or only for anxiety and OCD? When you explain it like this it seems more understandable. I know I used to have uncertainties and offcourse my life wasn’t always stress free so I had enough reasons to be depressed but nothing comparing to now .