Hi Taper Man, I would wait it out if I were you. It is better to feel well enough in body, mind, and spirit to resume a taper. It is something you will know when the time is right--don't let a fearful or tired mind drive your decision-making. @Raymond laid out a nice plan of how he handled his day to day. Maybe choose 1 or 2 things right now that can help stabilize your day and encourage healing.

For a variety of health reasons, I have been at my current dose for months now. Like many have said, this is not a race. Slow and steady wins the battle off of these Rx. You can do this. I will be praying for you. Be well, my friend.

On 1/29/2026 at 7:21 AM, The_Taper_Man said:

 

I have never had any mental health issues; never been on antidepressants or any psych meds before this period. I am a 34 year-old male, living in the UK. 

 

My story begins with me recently having my first child with my beautiful wife 3 months ago, my life up until now has been extremely fulfilling, filled with good friends, lots of trips away and loving life. I have had a successful career with currently being the Head of a team with a great boss, colleagues and last year for the first time in my working career, placed in the top 1% of performers

Hi @The_Taper_Man, I read your thread and related to alot of your story. I just wanted to stop by to validate what you are going through is a medical injury, and is not your fault. If you have a history of a basically normal life and have loved your life, you don't suddenly develop a mental illness. Why people don't question that medications can cause harm or temporary alter a person's chemistry and CNS is beyond my understanding.

 

On 1/29/2026 at 7:21 AM, The_Taper_Man said:

 

When my son was born, like any new parent, I experienced a significant amount of anxiety. I had OCD which manifested itself into me believing I would become like my grandmother who was 'apparently' seriously ill and diagnosed with major depressive disorder (I now question whether it was the meds making her that way). She was always in and out of psychiatric hospitals and most of my family alienated her because she was 'a very sick lady'. Anyway, over the course of a month my anxiety got higher as I became afraid of this idea, so I sought help from the GP who prescribed me Sertraline without any mention of withdrawal, precautions or anything else to be aware of

All of us will experience anxiety or depression in life. It's a reaction to stress. Instead we are labeled, and given meds to deal with it, shutting down true feelings and using coping tools to deal with stress. Some of us have adverse reactions to these drugs. When we try to come off them, our body became dependent on the poison, and many if us feel those side affects of less serotonin and dopamine because the drugs changed our CNS structure to put the fake chemicals in our brain in the first place. When we question the strange side effects we're experiencing that we've never felt with such an intensity before, we're told it's our symptoms coming back, or we have a mental illness. The gaslighting games begin.

I also question those with relatives in the past with "mental illness". How many of them had some possible trauma, but no loving support, and were doled cocktails of medications that made them crazy? 

On 1/29/2026 at 7:21 AM, The_Taper_Man said:

Upon taking my first pill, I immediately felt it.

It's too bad neither of us listened to our body when we felt this. My biggest regret was not following my instinct concerning the negative reactions I felt taking these drugs. We learned the hard way, but we didn't know. It takes very brave people to question the "experts". Alot of us were gaslit. But we know our bodies and core self. We have to advocate for our own health.

On 1/29/2026 at 7:21 AM, The_Taper_Man said:

preface by saying that during all of this time, most of my family and friends (including my wife) have been very concerned and worried about my state of wellbeing, they have increasingly applied pressure for me to 'trust the doctors' and 'listen to the experts', I have been told by my wife that from the outside, it looks like I am clinically insane because of my obsession with medication and the effects they are having on me. They have all had a really hard time accepting the fact that what I have experienced, is a reality and that 'I need help'. It has been extremely isolating and lonely recently as I watch the relationships with my loved ones break down

I am so sorry that your family is not believing in you. This is so shocking to me. You seem perfectly normal, and a victim of adverse medication affects. I am blessed my husband knows my core self, and believed me when my emotions started changing while "tapering" that it was the drugs. I pray that your family will educate themselves that this adverse medication reaction is real, watch "Medicating Normal", watch Angie Peacock, Michael Priebe, Melissa Boutilier and Joanna King videos, blogs and success stories. Read Anders Sorenson's book to learn what these drugs really do. Most of all they should trust in YOU, the person they know and love, over impersonal doctors pushing prescriptions.

 

I am sorry that you may have to go through a tough spell for awhile. Whether to taper or not is your choice. But whatever path you take, you WILL heal and get your life back. Stay strong. We are normal, professional, highly functional people who were temporarily harmed by these drugs too. We understand. We support you.

 

7 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

It is better to feel well enough in body, mind, and spirit to resume a taper.

Thanks @namastejen1 - I wholeheartedly agree, I am still struggling with anxiety and a constant fear of all of this. One of the things that affects me the most is the way I feel lethargic pretty much every day due to the dose I am on, for a very energetic and bubbly person this makes it incredibly hard. 

 

7 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

You can do this. I will be praying for you. Be well, my friend.

Thank you, I pray for us both that we make it out. You are far closer to the finish line than I am, I can't wait to see your success story on here one day.

 

3 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

I also question those with relatives in the past with "mental illness". How many of them had some possible trauma, but no loving support, and were doled cocktails of medications that made them crazy? 

Thanks so much @HopePerseveres2.0, I have now come to the realisation that my grandmother was actually not ill at all. After chatting with my Mum to get some info, she seemed to 'always go off the rails when adjusting or stopping her meds'. 'She'd be ok for a while on her meds and then try to stop again and all hell would break loose', this basically all leans towards her constantly wanting to stop the meds which she knew were making her sick and entering severe withdrawals each time, I feel so sorry for her soul. No-one believed her, I can't imagine how hard that must have been to live with that constant despair for an entire life.

 

3 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

t's too bad neither of us listened to our body when we felt this. My biggest regret was not following my instinct concerning the negative reactions I felt taking these drugs. We learned the hard way, but we didn't know. It takes very brave people to question the "experts". Alot of us were gaslit. But we know our bodies and core self. We have to advocate for our own health.

I will indeed, regret this for the rest of my life. It has stolen the most precious moments of being with my newborn son, sucked the enjoyment out of it and created an obsession of medication symptoms because of the fear I now have of the withdrawals and hard road I have ahead of me, I am working on the acceptance piece but I am nowhere near it yet. 

 

4 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

am sorry that you may have to go through a tough spell for awhile. Whether to taper or not is your choice. But whatever path you take, you WILL heal and get your life back. Stay strong. We are normal, professional, highly functional people who were temporarily harmed by these drugs too. We understand. We support you.

Thank you, this really means a lot to me. I continue to hold hope that there is a way out of this, at the moment I am just holding here, hopefully in the next couple of weeks I may start to feel a bit better and can look to see how I proceed then. It feels good to be believed and supported, I am so appreciate that @Chippy & @Luke created this space so none of us have to suffer like my grandmother did, in silence.

So… today my Mum & Dad visited us, I managed to get us out in the car and we all went for a walk around a local village and had a coffee together. My Mum finally told me that she believed me about everything and she even offered to sell up and be close to us so she could help and support during my taper journey. I thought that was quite sweet and I felt loved. 
 

One thing I’m really struggling with at the moment is the morning severe OCD and  DP/DR I keep getting throughout the day when out and about, constant brain fog and inability to have any proper cognitive sharpness. It just feels like I’m constantly wading thru treacle with migraines pretty much on a daily basis…. I’m really hoping that this lifts one day, it’s horrible. It usually eases off as the afternoon comes around. 
 

I am going to hold here for another week and then see whether I can potentially return back to work in a low stress environment, work from home and do a phased return. Maybe that’ll help take my mind off the OCD and give me something else to focus on. 
 

Although I’d rate the day as a 5/10 for symptoms, we still managed to get dinner together and I enjoyed it. 

I’m glad your family visit went well and your mom believes you—this is so important, because so many of us never had this or it took what felt like forever to receive it from loved ones. I can relate to the DP/DR (and also weird intrusive thoughts). That was when I was on Paxil in the early 2000s, after getting on thyroid meds, and then eventually birth control that went awry in my system – so the doctor at the time thought, oh you need an AD - instead of first considering that the birth control was causing me the panic attacks and crying spells that came out of nowhere. I wasn’t on the birth control long-term because I made the link, and it wasn’t worth to be on. I think I was on Paxil for a couple years and weaned myself off without knowing any of the healthier tapering methods. This doctor they’ll was very specific with me going slowly, but still not to the standard we would use here to taper. This was even before my crazy 2013 journey.

It’s quite awful what these Rx can do, but at least we’re all doing something to remedy the situation as best as we can and as long as it will take. Yes, I may be ahead of you numbers-wise, but we’ll all see the success stories rolling in due time.

I’m also glad that you had a 5/10-it’s mediocre, but still average. 👍 

7 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

So… today my Mum & Dad visited us, I managed to get us out in the car and we all went for a walk around a local village and had a coffee together. My Mum finally told me that she believed me about everything and she even offered to sell up and be close to us so she could help and support during my taper journey. I thought that was quite sweet and I felt loved. 

This made me smile. It’s great to have support of loved ones. Can be hard to get them in board. This will help much.  😀

 

7 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

One thing I’m really struggling with at the moment is the morning severe OCD and  DP/DR I keep getting throughout the day when out and about, constant brain fog and inability to have any proper cognitive sharpness. It just feels like I’m constantly wading thru treacle with migraines pretty much on a daily basis…. I’m really hoping that this lifts one day, it’s horrible. It usually eases off as the afternoon comes around. 

I’m so sorry. It’s tough isn’t it. Time will get you there. Look at how far you’ve come in the last few days. Great progress. 
 

Feeling a better in the evenings is very common. 
 

7 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I am going to hold here for another week and then see whether I can potentially return back to work in a low stress environment, work from home and do a phased return. Maybe that’ll help take my mind off the OCD and give me something else to focus on. 

Great. Good to have a plan. Bit of distraction might help. It’s a good coping skill. Just want to keep the stress levels down. 
 

7 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Although I’d rate the day as a 5/10 for symptoms, we still managed to get dinner together and I enjoyed it. 

I think 5/10 is good considering where you’ve come from. And as you say you got out and about. I’m so pleased I really am. 
 

Chippy

17 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

I’m also glad that you had a 5/10-it’s mediocre, but still average. 👍 

Thanks @namastejen1 - My Mum actually text me this morning and conveyed so much love to me, it was really nice. She is now fully onboard with my journey and has said she'll be with me every step of the way down.

@Luke, this is all thanks to you and your reddit post. After weeks of me trying to get her to read some experiences about mirtazapine and what the drug can do, she finally took the time (on her own accord) to go on the internet and look for herself, she said in her message and I quote "I read a post on Reddit from someone called Specimen_E-351..." and at that moment, I instantly knew that I had my Mum back. Your pain was not in vein man, I thank you.

 

10 hours ago, Chippy said:

I’m so sorry. It’s tough isn’t it. Time will get you there. Look at how far you’ve come in the last few days. Great progress. 

Yeah, the DP/DR is really annoying. I try to ignore it as much as possible but sometimes it just gets so pronounced @Chippy. How are you doing today mate? Hope your Sunday has been good? I have had a much better day today, probably a 7/10. I laid in bed but didn't feel guilty for it this morning (first time in weeks) and laid for a bit longer, got up and went for a drive to meet a friend for a coffee and we had a slow, hour walk together. Chinese takeaway yesterday didn't do me any favours though, I felt rough this morning lol. Hope you're well man. 

17 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

, this is all thanks to you and your reddit post. After weeks of me trying to get her to read some experiences about mirtazapine and what the drug can do, she finally took the time (on her own accord) to go on the internet and look for herself, she said in her message and I quote "I read a post on Reddit from someone called Specimen_E-351..." and at that moment, I instantly knew that I had my Mum back. Your pain was not in vein man, I thank you.

 

I haven't posted about it on reddit for quite a long time (maybe 1 to 1.5 years?) and I still get quite a number of messages from people who read them. At the time I also had many comments from those who didn't believe me at all, and I am banned from the main antidepressants subreddit for "spreading misinformation".

 

It's good that it also helped somebody, it felt a lot like shouting into the void and I was mainly greeted with hostility.

 

17 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Yeah, the DP/DR is really annoying. I try to ignore it as much as possible but sometimes it just gets so pronounced @Chippy. How are you doing today mate? Hope your Sunday has been good? I have had a much better day today, probably a 7/10. I laid in bed but didn't feel guilty for it this morning (first time in weeks) and laid for a bit longer, got up and went for a drive to meet a friend for a coffee and we had a slow, hour walk together. Chinese takeaway yesterday didn't do me any favours though, I felt rough this morning lol. Hope you're well man. 

 

The hope would be that you continue to stabilise.

 

You are clearly improving, do not be disheartened if it isn't entirely linear.

 

As for the decisions about when to taper, how to taper etc. try to put those off for now, and focus on getting stable and reasonably well. You can decide what to do from a position of strength then, and not desperation.

 

17 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

My Mum actually text me this morning and conveyed so much love to me, it was really nice. She is now fully onboard with my journey and has said she'll be with me every step of the way down.

Love this so much! Super Mum. She sounds great! 

 

17 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Yeah, the DP/DR is really annoying. I try to ignore it as much as possible but sometimes it just gets so pronounced @Chippy. How are you doing today mate? Hope your Sunday has been good? I have had a much better day today, probably a 7/10. I laid in bed but didn't feel guilty for it this morning (first time in weeks) and laid for a bit longer, got up and went for a drive to meet a friend for a coffee and we had a slow, hour walk together. Chinese takeaway yesterday didn't do me any favours though, I felt rough this morning lol. Hope you're well man. 

Im sorry mate. As with all this it will get better eventually. I was having a great Sunday thanks! 8/10. Spot on. Today is ok, burning brain back again. Just cant shake it. My worst symptom for some time. It will get there.

 

Great to hear your Sunday was good too! Pleased I am about that. Hope Monday is panning out too.

 

Yeah we gotta watch what we put in our bodies now for sure. Caffine isnt idea and well you've seen effects of a Chinese. Not that we are the guilt police here but it really is worth cleaning everything up for your own benefit. 🙂 

 

Hope your day is a 7/10 again at least!

 

Chippy

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Im sorry mate. As with all this it will get better eventually. I was having a great Sunday thanks! 8/10. Spot on. Today is ok, burning brain back again. Just cant shake it. My worst symptom for some time. It will get there.

That is awesome @Chippy - Really pleased to hear you had an 8/10 mate! That's awesome to hear. Burning brain sounds horrible, is that like a headache or is it like a fizzy sensation in the head?

 

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Hope Monday is panning out too.

It was going well yesterday until the evening where my wife sat me down and told me how difficult she'd found these past 3 traumatic months with me and that time will tell whether we heal, it left me feeling really guilty and overall saddened that I had indeed taken away what should have been such a warm, comforting experience to something cold and rather dark. This morning, I logged on to my work laptop to get out my payslips for the re-mortgage and found that my entire team has now been dispersed and all of my seniors now report to my boss, again another blow to the morale. I am going to try and see whether I can come back in a reduced capacity position potentially, boss has said we might be able to sort something out with HR, although I am scared shitless I think I need to try and get my life to some normality and see whether I can cope, otherwise life really will start falling apart at the seams... 

 

Symptom wise, not too bad though. I have a bit of a sore head again, these headaches are a killer but hopefully I can get out in the day and see how it goes. Hope your Monday is going well so far mate.

 

1 hour ago, Luke said:

As for the decisions about when to taper, how to taper etc. try to put those off for now, and focus on getting stable and reasonably well. You can decide what to do from a position of strength then, and not desperation.

Thanks @Luke - Would you say that it doesn't matter how long I continue to take the drug for? Return back to work, normality and feel settled before tapering would be wiser than trying to do it now? 

 

1 hour ago, Luke said:

It's good that it also helped somebody, it felt a lot like shouting into the void and I was mainly greeted with hostility.

 

My Mum was touched by your post and it resonated with everything I was telling her, can't understand why you were met with hostility? Is that because people assumed you were making it all up?

8 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

That is awesome @Chippy - Really pleased to hear you had an 8/10 mate! That's awesome to hear. Burning brain sounds horrible, is that like a headache or is it like a fizzy sensation in the head?

 

Thanks. Yeah I was almost a 9 at point tbh! It's like across my forehead. It varies in severity from day to day. Kind of stinging is the best way to describe it. Also perhaps some pressure to it. Hard to describe. Sometimes its just bad other days is awful. Some days its gone.

 

11 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

It was going well yesterday until the evening where my wife sat me down and told me how difficult she'd found these past 3 traumatic months with me and that time will tell whether we heal, it left me feeling really guilty and overall saddened that I had indeed taken away what should have been such a warm, comforting experience to something cold and rather dark. This morning, I logged on to my work laptop to get out my payslips for the re-mortgage and found that my entire team has now been dispersed and all of my seniors now report to my boss, again another blow to the morale. I am going to try and see whether I can come back in a reduced capacity position potentially, boss has said we might be able to sort something out with HR, although I am scared shitless I think I need to try and get my life to some normality and see whether I can cope, otherwise life really will start falling apart at the seams...

This is tough. Time mate. Your wife seems to have found it very hard which isnt surprising really as it must be shock to see your other half go through something like this. I hope she starts to come round soon to what has actually happened and realises you are still there just having a hard time. Marriage is all about this process of supporting each other and adapting to lifestyle hurdles. Not always easy to go from fun light dating and so to the serious business of money and mortgages, kids and health and so on. Quite a juxtaposition isn't it. She will come round I am sure.

 

What is the right answer with work. Thats hard isnt it. I think trying to keep something warm there is useful. Be a shame to burn all your bridges. But you don't want to push yourself whilst you are doing so well. A balance perhaps. Something you are comfortable with. Can you work from home part time on reduced responsibilities maybe?

 

18 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Symptom wise, not too bad though. I have a bit of a sore head again, these headaches are a killer but hopefully I can get out in the day and see how it goes. Hope your Monday is going well so far mate.

 

Good to hear. Although I hope your head lifts. I know the feeling only too well. My burning is back today and whilst it's not at its worst I wish it would just go completely. All good apart from that thanks!

 

19 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Would you say that it doesn't matter how long I continue to take the drug for? Return back to work, normality and feel settled before tapering would be wiser than trying to do it now? 

Just to chip in here. I think you should hold for a good while and make sure you are nice and stable before even thinking about dropping.

 

No reason why you cant do as you said go back to work when you are ready and settle down a bit. Then start to think about a drop. We can talk about it when you are ready. But no rush some hold for a long time....

 

26 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Thanks @Luke - Would you say that it doesn't matter how long I continue to take the drug for? Return back to work, normality and feel settled before tapering would be wiser than trying to do it now? 

 

It's hard to say at this stage.

 

You need to see how it goes, and whether you stabilise to a point that you feel you are able to do these things or not, and tolerate being on it or not.

 

You can make a decision from there.

  

26 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

My Mum was touched by your post and it resonated with everything I was telling her, can't understand why you were met with hostility? Is that because people assumed you were making it all up?

 

Probably. If you post about harms of these drugs on twitter, reddit etc. there's a significant group of people who attack any perceived criticism of psychiatry, antidepressants etc.

 

I've pretty much given up with reddit. A comment saying "there needs to be better information for patients on potential risks" even gets downvoted and attacked.

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

Not always easy to go from fun light dating and so to the serious business of money and mortgages, kids and health and so on. Quite a juxtaposition isn't it. She will come round I am sur

I agree Chippy; although we have been together for 15 years prior to us being married. I guess all of this is completely out of character and out of the blue for me, before all of this the last time I saw the GP was in 2015 for a blood test!! I became quite obsessed with all of this when it started happening to me, to tell you the truth I still am somewhat because I still can't believe it but I am trying to practice acceptance as time goes on... Like you said, time will tell. 

 

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

Can you work from home part time on reduced responsibilities maybe?

Yes, this is an option. Although I would still be a high senior member of staff, even in an analyst capacity as things like my salary etc won't be changing... They'll want the bang for their buck so to speak, which is understandable as I have been on the other side of the table myself. I've been totally transparent with my boss and told him that over 1-2 years there may be periods where I am nowhere near as functional, he's in agreement to be supportive of that but I have no doubt that the pressures of work will continue to be there. Becoming a peer to all of my old direct reports is also a bit of a smack in the face but I guess I'll need to take this on the chin, so be it.

 

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

Just to chip in here. I think you should hold for a good while and make sure you are nice and stable before even thinking about dropping.

I agree, after everything that has happened I am unsure as to what that baseline even looks/feels like though. It's all new territory for me and I am figuring it out as we go, I seem to have stabilised a lot in 4 weeks though so I am hoping that this is a positive sign my brain can bounce back quickly, albeit being sensitive. 

 

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

Yeah I was almost a 9 at point tbh!

Outstanding mate, I am so pleased to read that. You seem like a top bloke @Chippy.

 

8 hours ago, Luke said:

You need to see how it goes, and whether you stabilise to a point that you feel you are able to do these things or not, and tolerate being on it or not.

to be honest @Luke, apart from the DP/DR that I keep getting, today I reckon I could have probably worked. Albeit slow and I would have missed a load of stuff but I could have done a few hours. I completed the application for my remortgage today and that indicated that the cognitive side of things is improving because I could never have attempted that 2 weeks ago, not even a chance. 

12 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I agree Chippy; although we have been together for 15 years prior to us being married. I guess all of this is completely out of character and out of the blue for me, before all of this the last time I saw the GP was in 2015 for a blood test!! I became quite obsessed with all of this when it started happening to me, to tell you the truth I still am somewhat because I still can't believe it but I am trying to practice acceptance as time goes on... Like you said, time will tell. 

I was the same mate. Never went near the place. I thought I was being naughty at one point hiding from my anxiety. Then decided I should do the right thing and go see the doctor, gave me sertraline. Wow it kicked my but but I pushed through. Gave me nasty PSSD effects whilst on it. Thought that was normal. Should have known then but took me some time to see what these drugs do to us. Sad but true.

 

12 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Yes, this is an option. Although I would still be a high senior member of staff, even in an analyst capacity as things like my salary etc won't be changing... They'll want the bang for their buck so to speak, which is understandable as I have been on the other side of the table myself. I've been totally transparent with my boss and told him that over 1-2 years there may be periods where I am nowhere near as functional, he's in agreement to be supportive of that but I have no doubt that the pressures of work will continue to be there. Becoming a peer to all of my old direct reports is also a bit of a smack in the face but I guess I'll need to take this on the chin, so be it.

Sounds good. But yeah I get the change isnt nice. Just tempoary and its good you have options!

 

12 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I agree, after everything that has happened I am unsure as to what that baseline even looks/feels like though. It's all new territory for me and I am figuring it out as we go, I seem to have stabilised a lot in 4 weeks though so I am hoping that this is a positive sign my brain can bounce back quickly, albeit being sensitive. 

Yes just dont be in a rush. 4 weeks you have made huge progress but with everything you have been through give it lots of time. Your setting the foundation now for a good taper.

 

12 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Outstanding mate, I am so pleased to read that. You seem like a top bloke @Chippy.

Thanks, still up and down but overall heading the in the right direction. Appreciate that mate just doing me best! 

 

Speak soon

 

Chippy

Hopefully you will continue to stabilise.

 

I think it's premature to assume that you'll be at reduced functioning for 1-2 years to a point where your work will suffer. It's possible, but it is also possible that in the coming weeks you'll stabilise to a point where you're pretty much okay, and then further down the line you can taper slowly without inducing significant symptoms.

9 hours ago, Luke said:

Hopefully you will continue to stabilise.

 

I think it's premature to assume that you'll be at reduced functioning for 1-2 years to a point where your work will suffer. It's possible, but it is also possible that in the coming weeks you'll stabilise to a point where you're pretty much okay, and then further down the line you can taper slowly without inducing significant symptoms.

Yes @The_Taper_Man keep faith that it will all work out well. I like Luke’s post here. 🙏 

On 2/8/2026 at 7:31 AM, The_Taper_Man said:

My Mum actually text me this morning and conveyed so much love to me, it was really nice. She is now fully onboard with my journey and has said she'll be with me every step of the way down.

@The_Taper_Man, this is wonderful news! Support is so vital to our healing. Yay Mom!

On 2/9/2026 at 3:13 AM, Chippy said:

Your wife seems to have found it very hard which isnt surprising really as it must be shock to see your other half go through something like this. I hope she starts to come round soon to what has actually happened and realises you are still there just having a hard time. Marriage is all about this process of supporting each other and adapting to lifestyle hurdles. Not always easy to go from fun light dating and so to the serious business of money and mortgages, kids and health and so on. Quite a juxtaposition isn't it. She will come round I am sure.

I hope that your wife comes around too. I know it's hard on the family to see us in this temporary state. Shoot, it's hard for us to see us in this state!  But " for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" is in the wedding vows for a reason. Life throws us curves. True love is more than just the fun times. The true colors come out in adversity. I hope that she learns about this atrocity, and will trust that your true self that she fell in love with is still there, just temporarily set back right now and on a healing journey back to health.

23 hours ago, Chippy said:

Your setting the foundation now for a good taper.

That is the hope @Chippy; these past two days I have had a lingering feeling of anxiety in the belly, I could put that down to thinking about what I am going to do about the work situation though.. How are things with you today? I'm probably at a 7/10.

 

14 hours ago, Luke said:

I think it's premature to assume that you'll be at reduced functioning for 1-2 years to a point where your work will suffer. It's possible, but it is also possible that in the coming weeks you'll stabilise to a point where you're pretty much okay, and then further down the line you can taper slowly without inducing significant symptoms.

Thanks @Luke - I guess I was trying to preempt how bad my withdrawal symptoms would be as I go down in doses based on how severe they were when I tried to stop. I am also in a bit of a predicament whereby although I have been offered the option of doing an analyst role which in theory gives more calendar flexibility, it doesn't necessarily make it easier due to the complexity of the analysis required, on the flip side I absolutely loved my job of leading my large team and driving it forward, it does however involve a very busy schedule and time pressures to meet etc. I am in a hard situation where I am unsure how the different pressures of both roles are going to affect me during this journey, hence my 1-2 year comment.

 

4 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

keep faith that it will all work out well.

I will try @namastejen1, it's not proving easy at the moment I'll admit. How are you doing today?

 

3 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

I hope that your wife comes around too.

I hope so too @HopePerseveres2.0, she definitely knows I am still here but I'll admit that when going through the severe ups and downs of the drug induced effects recently, my OCD was absolutely taking the lead in making everything a total nightmare and x10 worse than it needed to be. I do not blame her for the difficulty in managing, we're in a tricky situation where her family live in different counties, my parents are 2hr15m away from us and we haven't had much support at the start of all of this. Now that things are stabilising a bit over the past month, she is doing much better and smiling a lot more so I think we're out of the storm, for now.. 

 

I hope you are well yourself, how are you doing today?

14 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

How are things with you today? I'm probably at a 7/10.

 

This great news, youre doing so well! 🙂 I was about 7/10 then 8/10 yesterday. Today not so good. On the fence about the rating atm! Up and down like a yoyo all this isnt it!

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Today not so good. On the fence about the rating atm! Up and down like a yoyo all this isnt it!

Ah man, sorry to hear that @Chippy... Yeah, it really is. That's why it makes it so hard to actually think about work and life priorities etc because you could make a decision on a good day, turns out when it gets to it you're on a low. It sucks. I really hope the day picks up for you though mate, fingers crossed the yoyo gets tangled up the top. 

3 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Ah man, sorry to hear that @Chippy... Yeah, it really is. That's why it makes it so hard to actually think about work and life priorities etc because you could make a decision on a good day, turns out when it gets to it you're on a low. It sucks. I really hope the day picks up for you though mate, fingers crossed the yoyo gets tangled up the top. 

thanks mate. It's ok I am used to it now. Ive been worse but it's always a disappointment to feel tatty after a day where you dont! I agree fully so hard to plan anything. Enjoy your 7 mate!

Well... Not that great of a day today in the end, felt in the dumps and constantly foggy all day long. Bloody lethargy that this drug creates is absolutely horrible, it makes me feel so out of it and dazed all the time. My cognitive functions are also all over the place, alertness and short/long term memory is completely shot, makes me wonder how I'd ever be able to do my job again properly with this level of function... I'll continue to progress and won't change anything but today had me a bit hopeless and wanting to just throw it in the bin (which I won't do). Went from a 7/10 to a 4/10 😞.

9 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Thanks @Luke - I guess I was trying to preempt how bad my withdrawal symptoms would be as I go down in doses based on how severe they were when I tried to stop. I am also in a bit of a predicament whereby although I have been offered the option of doing an analyst role which in theory gives more calendar flexibility, it doesn't necessarily make it easier due to the complexity of the analysis required, on the flip side I absolutely loved my job of leading my large team and driving it forward, it does however involve a very busy schedule and time pressures to meet etc. I am in a hard situation where I am unsure how the different pressures of both roles are going to affect me during this journey, hence my 1-2 year comment.

 

My feeling is that you are better off not rushing into any decision making that could affect years of your life until you've given yourself a few weeks to stabilise, if possible.

 

You're off sick, you might feel consistently well enough to return to your previous role in a relatively short amount of time. It isn't guaranteed, but I wouldn't close myself off to that possibility by making rash decisions I wasn't forced to either, if I were you.

 

It is difficult not to catastrophise with withdrawal, and difficult not to obsess over stressful thinking etc.

12 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Well... Not that great of a day today in the end, felt in the dumps and constantly foggy all day long. Bloody lethargy that this drug creates is absolutely horrible, it makes me feel so out of it and dazed all the time. My cognitive functions are also all over the place, alertness and short/long term memory is completely shot, makes me wonder how I'd ever be able to do my job again properly with this level of function... I'll continue to progress and won't change anything but today had me a bit hopeless and wanting to just throw it in the bin (which I won't do). Went from a 7/10 to a 4/10 😞.

Hey mate

 

So sorry to read this. I did the same Tuesday 8/10. Yesterday by the end 3/10. How does that happen! It's not a straight line this mate. Your highs are a great sign and you've come along long way in short time. Be proud!

 

Chippy

6 hours ago, Chippy said:

So sorry to read this. I did the same Tuesday 8/10. Yesterday by the end 3/10. How does that happen

Sorry to hear for you too @Chippy mate… Well, on my side a few days ago I introduced Omega-3 1000mg and magnesium from nutrition geeks…. My derealisation has now gone from being subtle when outside to now being so pronounced I have it all the time, even at home. I also have a sinking feeling of anxiety that came out of nowhere, all since starting the supplements. I’m thinking that I’ve rocked the boat a bit by introducing these. Bit of a pain as I’m going away with my wife for the weekend tomorrow as I wanted to do something nice for her, apparently takes a few days to quieten down after removing supplements from what I’ve read. 
 

Hope your day today goes a bit better, let me know how it goes.