2 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Sorry to hear for you too @Chippy mate… Well, on my side a few days ago I introduced Omega-3 1000mg and magnesium from nutrition geeks…. My derealisation has now gone from being subtle when outside to now being so pronounced I have it all the time, even at home. I also have a sinking feeling of anxiety that came out of nowhere, all since starting the supplements. I’m thinking that I’ve rocked the boat a bit by introducing these. Bit of a pain as I’m going away with my wife for the weekend tomorrow as I wanted to do something nice for her, apparently takes a few days to quieten down after removing supplements from what I’ve read. 
 

Hope your day today goes a bit better, let me know how it goes. 

thanks mate

 

Yeah supplements are a tricky one even those two. Best introduced one at a time and small doses. Id steer clear for sure mate. Your systems too sensitive for them I suspect,

5 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Sorry to hear for you too @Chippy mate… Well, on my side a few days ago I introduced Omega-3 1000mg and magnesium from nutrition geeks…. My derealisation has now gone from being subtle when outside to now being so pronounced I have it all the time, even at home. I also have a sinking feeling of anxiety that came out of nowhere, all since starting the supplements. I’m thinking that I’ve rocked the boat a bit by introducing these. Bit of a pain as I’m going away with my wife for the weekend tomorrow as I wanted to do something nice for her, apparently takes a few days to quieten down after removing supplements from what I’ve read. 
 

Hope your day today goes a bit better, let me know how it goes. 

I'm interested in what you wrote about the depersonalisation initially only occurring out of doors. I have been stumped by this too. Everytime I walk anywhere outdoors e.g. the shop across the road, I notice it. Indoors, whether at home, at the office or even in the shop itself, I don't get it. 

5 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

I'm interested in what you wrote about the depersonalisation initially only occurring out of doors. I have been stumped by this too. Everytime I walk anywhere outdoors e.g. the shop across the road, I notice it. Indoors, whether at home, at the office or even in the shop itself, I don't get it. 

@Sminismoni I only get DP/DR out doors too. Its odd isnt it.

17 hours ago, Luke said:

You're off sick, you might feel consistently well enough to return to your previous role in a relatively short amount of time. It isn't guaranteed, but I wouldn't close myself off to that possibility by making rash decisions I wasn't forced to either, if I were you

I agree, I’ve however now been off sick for a while so myself and my boss are looking at options to try and get me back into a return of somewhat. As hard as it is, I think even for myself I want to know where I stand and get back into work (if I could). I agree about not making rash decisions nor forcing it. 
 

17 hours ago, Luke said:

 

It is difficult not to catastrophise with withdrawal, and difficult not to obsess over stressful thinking etc.

This is the hardest part of all, these past 3

months have been so difficult to live thru. I’m trying my best to remain optimistic and hopeful but with a baby and a wife at home who need me, it’s becoming increasingly difficult. Couple that with days like I’ve just had where nothing feels real 24/7 and I have nothing else to think about, this is why I think work could help somewhat as it’ll give me back a bit of normalcy which right now I don’t have. 

29 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

Indoors, whether at home, at the office or even in the shop itself, I don't get it

From what I’ve read, it’s the CNS becoming overstimulated and the brain puts itself into a protective state to avoid further stress. When you’re at home or in a space where you feel ‘safe’ and stimulation is low, the body knows that it no longer needs to be protective and this is why it then fades off. 
 

The annoying thing, is the more you think about it and notice it… the stronger it becomes, the key is to just ride with it and let it fade away. Easier said than done as ours is driven by our hypersensitive nervous systems but this is the cause of it. @Chippy @Sminismoni

@The_Taper_Man, you are not alone. I wonder all the time how I was able to function before this journey...Incredible and awful at the same time...

Svetla

Thank you @skamen - I am trying my hardest to remember that. 

Well… a (sort of) better day today, still lingering fog and derealisation but I’m trying to ignore it. I planned a weekend away with the wife today so we’re dropping off the boy and will be heading off shortly, finally sleeping in the same bed after months of not doing so!! 
 

Although I’ll probably be in a foggy state of mind for it, I’ll do my best for her. Haven’t booked a restaurant in case I didn’t feel great but hopefully we can pop in somewhere later tonight. 

 

On a work front, the income protection people have requested access to the GP records so we’ll see shortly the outcome. Knowing insurance companies, I doubt it’ll be automatically straight forward. I’ve spoken to my boss about returning back so I’m hopeful I’ll get some form of normality back soon regardless of the claim, despite me bricking it about not being able to function properly. I don’t have a choice really, my family needs me. 
 

Hope everyone else is doing ok, I’d probably rate today as a 5/10 as the fog/DR continues to be super thick and heavy. 
 

edit: I also booked a 50 min appointment with Mark Horowitz for next Thursday. I’ll share what his thoughts are, I highly suspect his info won’t be much different from what we’re already doing here but it’ll be good get his take. 

Edited February 13Feb 13 by The_Taper_Man

So, I booked us a weekend away with my wife to give her a break and enjoy some time together. It had been the first time sleeping together again since we had my son, it wasn’t the best of nights sleep as she was constantly agitated and on alert (naturally) because of being away from our boy. Nevertheless, it felt magical to find each other again and I loved being close to her again. Although I found myself talking about this and my issues constantly again, I really need to try and find a way to stop making this the focus of my life and avoid having this at the centre point of my mind. It’s so hard to do so when this is literally the most painful thing to do. 
 

Yesterday I was hit with a horrible wave upon waking, depressive and cognitive function was near 0. It made for a real shame as it put a crap ending to our weekend, I am struggling a lot with all of this at the moment. On the way home I could see all of the bikes racing past us on their Sunday rides in the sun and I couldn’t help but sob in the car, feeling pitifully sorry for what my life has recently become.  
 

I seem to keep having horrible nightmares too, this wasn’t something I had before but now they seem to be more common and aren’t nice at all, I seem to always wake up at 6am, go back to sleep and then wake up at 8am with anxiety and racing thoughts every day. I wonder when all of this will level itself out…. It’s painful to think that on Monday and Tuesday I felt semi ok and was cooking dinner, to now being in the dumps like this. Will it ever end? Will I ever stabilise? Will I ever get my life back to semi-normal? Will I ever sleep again once I am off this horrible drug despite the taper? I’m starting to question whether I’ll survive this, I don’t feel strong enough to do so. 
 

3/10 today. 

20 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

So, I booked us a weekend away with my wife to give her a break and enjoy some time together. It had been the first time sleeping together again since we had my son, it wasn’t the best of nights sleep as she was constantly agitated and on alert (naturally) because of being away from our boy. Nevertheless, it felt magical to find each other again and I loved being close to her again. Although I found myself talking about this and my issues constantly again, I really need to try and find a way to stop making this the focus of my life and avoid having this at the centre point of my mind. It’s so hard to do so when this is literally the most painful thing to do. 

Im really pleased mate.

 

Dont give yourself a hard to about talking about all this. I think we need to tbh.

 

21 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Yesterday I was hit with a horrible wave upon waking, depressive and cognitive function was near 0. It made for a real shame as it put a crap ending to our weekend, I am struggling a lot with all of this at the moment. On the way home I could see all of the bikes racing past us on their Sunday rides in the sun and I couldn’t help but sob in the car, feeling pitifully sorry for what my life has recently become.  

Im sorry bud. So tough, I mourn my old life a lot. But recently i've been finding myself able to feel more like the old days again. It starts to come back.

 

It's hard to accept and move forwards isn't it..

 

22 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

seem to keep having horrible nightmares too, this wasn’t something I had before but now they seem to be more common and aren’t nice at all, I seem to always wake up at 6am, go back to sleep and then wake up at 8am with anxiety and racing thoughts every day. I wonder when all of this will level itself out…. It’s painful to think that on Monday and Tuesday I felt semi ok and was cooking dinner, to now being in the dumps like this. Will it ever end? Will I ever stabilise? Will I ever get my life back to semi-normal? Will I ever sleep again once I am off this horrible drug despite the taper? I’m starting to question whether I’ll survive this, I don’t feel strong enough to do so. 

It's really not been very long. It is so common to see new symptoms come and for things to fluctuate like this. Try to remember the better days. One day at a time, your heading in a good direction.

 

Chippy

@The_Taper_Man I am just going to put your question on your thread, 

 

"hope you don’t mind me messaging directly but I have a question that I’d like to get based on your experience. 

After failing a fast taper of my Mirtazapine 4 weeks ago, I reinstated at 5.25mg although the previous stable dose was 7.25mg that I was only on for 3 weeks. I basically went from 7.5 -> 5.25 -> 3.75 and then stopped….

Ever since I reinstated 4 weeks ago, I’ve been having intense withdrawal symptoms. Would it be wise to updose back to 7.5 at this stage? Or stay where I am? I really want to try and give my CNS the best chance to stabilise so unsure whether the last known stable dose will help. 

Thanks in advance,"

 

I gave your thread a quick read... Congratulations on the new baby. So sorry you are dealing with the Insanity of  adverse reactions and withdrawal. 

Unfortunately your system is so sensitive right now so any changes bring a lot of risk. 

I wish there was a quick fix to this especially the horrible dp/dr feeling. If you were to updose, there is a good risk of causing a negative reaction. These drugs are so powerful especially in the lower doses. Updosing should be done in very small increments...no more than 10% of the current dose. Your reinstatement is pretty new... what specific day in January did you reinstate...it would be great to add that to your signature. 

Upon reinstatement, what symptoms have went away? What symptoms have lessened? 

It can take a few months to stabilize on this dose. The problem is you are also dealing with the effects of an ADR. Updosing the mirt will not help with that and could complicate the situation. Is your dosing accurate...are you weighing pills or using liquid? 

Experience has shown that sometimes doing nothing is the best thing. I would suggest sitting at this dose, being patient, showing yourself kindness, and making an environment for healing...as stress free as possible. You will stabilize... your body wants to reach homeostasis. I would avoid supplements and work at eating a clean diet. 

❤️🙏

20 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

what specific day in January did you reinstate

Thanks so much for replying back to me @LostinCanada. I reinstated 3 days after I got hit with withdrawal on the 14th January.  

 

21 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Upon reinstatement, what symptoms have went away? What symptoms have lessened?

The panic, terror and insomnia has gone, everything else has pretty much cycled thru.. migraines, severe cognitive decline, memory loss etc. I’m having quite intense mood swings, coupled with a lot of new symptoms such as aching in my knees, extreme low moods, pressure behind my eyes, constipation, heavy anxiety, nightmares. 

 

25 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

The problem is you are also dealing with the effects of an ADR

Would these effects from the sertraline still be present? That was way back in early December, do you think I’m still experiencing the fallout of that? 
 

again, thanks so much for your reply and advice. ❤️

12 hours ago, Chippy said:

Im sorry bud. So tough, I mourn my old life a lot. But recently i've been finding myself able to feel more like the old days again. It starts to come back

I’m pleased to hear it mate, unfortunately on my side I’ve been hit with a dreadful couple of days recently. It’s really been awful in terms of mood and overall wellbeing, I’m starting to get severe pains in my knee, migraines so bad I want to crawl of out my head and this morning I found a pebble-like stone in my hand whilst washing myself in the shower…. Indicating I could maybe have another problem which could crop up shortly… the wife doesn’t know how much more she can take of this either, I don’t blame her. I’m in the same frame of mind. 
 

2/10 today, really low. 

24 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Would these effects from the sertraline still be present? That was way back in early December, do you think I’m still experiencing the fallout of that? 

Yes...it usually takes months and longer.

 

26 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

panic, terror and insomnia has gone, everything else has pretty much cycled thru.. migraines, severe cognitive decline, memory loss etc

This is really good news. I think you are on the right path. What was the exact date you jumped off the mirtazapine? January 11th. If that is the case, you could try a 10% increase of your dose. Do you have a scale or are you using liquid? Accuracy is important. 

Thanks. 

11 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Yes...it usually takes months and longer.

I never put the two and two together if I’m honest, I was prescribed Mirtazapine the day after I had the ADR in A&E… I never realised that the ‘side effects’ I was getting from Mirtazapine could have actually been from this. Although I’ll say that over the course of the month I was on Mirtazapine, I was actually ok and didn’t experience nothing like the intense waves I’m getting now, leading me to believe that the sertraline episode was behind me. 
 

11 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

What was the exact date you jumped off the mirtazapine? January 11th

Yes, the date I stopped completely was the 11th. During the fast taper I felt so good, like everything was back to normal again and I was myself, I returned back to work on the 12th and 3 days later my world fell apart again. 

I am using liquid but it’s not always easy to measure 0.35ml with a 1ml syringe, I am trying to be as consistent as I can though.

25 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

using liquid but it’s not always easy to measure 0.35ml with a 1ml syringe, I am trying to be as consistent as I can though

If water is one of the ingredients, you can dilute it further to get a more accurate measurement. Only dilute a small amount from the manufactured liquid because after you add water stability/shelf life will be unknown. 

Hi Taper Man, I’m glad you had time away with your wife. That’s a good sign that you wanted to get away, planned it, and actually went away. I remember many times not feeling like myself and as if I “ruined” occasions due to my symptoms and needing to talk about it. But it’s simply not true. My husband felt fine, didn’t really understand what was going on the first merry-go-round I had, that was rough, however, it will get better. And he’s one of my best supporters during the decade plus long journey I’ve been on. There were a few years in my mid 20s as well that wasn’t so great too. (my story has had many years of positivity and healthiness, so it hasn’t been all doom and gloom)
♥️ I think couples counseling might be a good choice for the two of you – especially someone who does Terry Real’s work, relation life therapy. But there are other modalities.
Try less pressure on yourself and be kind to yourself. You’re already dealing with these darn drugs, so please do what you can to real realize you are doing the best that you can right now given the situation. 
I’ll pray for you and everyone on the site. It is quite late over here, but we have a holiday tomorrow. Take care, my friend.

Edited February 16Feb 16 by namastejen1

15 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

@The_Taper_Man I am just going to put your question on your thread, 

 

"hope you don’t mind me messaging directly but I have a question that I’d like to get based on your experience. 

After failing a fast taper of my Mirtazapine 4 weeks ago, I reinstated at 5.25mg although the previous stable dose was 7.25mg that I was only on for 3 weeks. I basically went from 7.5 -> 5.25 -> 3.75 and then stopped….

Ever since I reinstated 4 weeks ago, I’ve been having intense withdrawal symptoms. Would it be wise to updose back to 7.5 at this stage? Or stay where I am? I really want to try and give my CNS the best chance to stabilise so unsure whether the last known stable dose will help. 

Thanks in advance,"

 

I gave your thread a quick read... Congratulations on the new baby. So sorry you are dealing with the Insanity of  adverse reactions and withdrawal. 

Unfortunately your system is so sensitive right now so any changes bring a lot of risk. 

I wish there was a quick fix to this especially the horrible dp/dr feeling. If you were to updose, there is a good risk of causing a negative reaction. These drugs are so powerful especially in the lower doses. Updosing should be done in very small increments...no more than 10% of the current dose. Your reinstatement is pretty new... what specific day in January did you reinstate...it would be great to add that to your signature. 

Upon reinstatement, what symptoms have went away? What symptoms have lessened? 

It can take a few months to stabilize on this dose. The problem is you are also dealing with the effects of an ADR. Updosing the mirt will not help with that and could complicate the situation. Is your dosing accurate...are you weighing pills or using liquid? 

Experience has shown that sometimes doing nothing is the best thing. I would suggest sitting at this dose, being patient, showing yourself kindness, and making an environment for healing...as stress free as possible. You will stabilize... your body wants to reach homeostasis. I would avoid supplements and work at eating a clean diet. 

❤️🙏

Hey mate

 

Just touching base on this.

 

Lic is right your system is very sensitive and changes can add fuel to the fire.

 

You can and are very likely feeling symptoms for a few different reasons:

 

When a drug is removed from our systems too quickly the brain, having become dependent on it, complains to us by giving us WD symptoms. Reinstating the drug even at a low dose gives the brain back some of what it wants and makes its job of readjusting much easier than adjusting to zero! Up dosing simply helps/fine tune that drug level but wont be the only thing that helps. There becomes a point where it can actually make you worse. The brain needs stability now and a chance to find its new setting. You are responding really well atm and are having the typical waves and windows patterns, all really good signs.

 

Other reasons you are experiencing symptoms likely due to nervous system dysregulations caused by CTs, ADRs, dose changes and so. This is an injury that takes time to heal. increasing your dose wouldnt help in this case. 

 

I think you are experiencing a bit of both, but unpicking it is hard as it can all look the same. Adding more drug is a risk and IMO you're not severe enough at this point to take that risk. I think you need lots of time to allow your brain to recalibrate to the lower dose which it is showing very positive signs of doing. Also You need time to start to heal from any injury that is there. 

Unfortunately recovering from all this takes a lot of time and patience and there is no easy fix.

 

It's your choice if you want to increase your dose but you would only do this by a small amount as LIC said and see if you get any further improvements in symptoms. Whilst I dont personally think this is what you should do, it is your choice, I just wanted to try to make sure you understand all the facts before considering such move.

 

Hope that make sense mate?

 

Chippy

9 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I’m pleased to hear it mate, unfortunately on my side I’ve been hit with a dreadful couple of days recently. It’s really been awful in terms of mood and overall wellbeing, I’m starting to get severe pains in my knee, migraines so bad I want to crawl of out my head and this morning I found a pebble-like stone in my hand whilst washing myself in the shower…. Indicating I could maybe have another problem which could crop up shortly… the wife doesn’t know how much more she can take of this either, I don’t blame her. I’m in the same frame of mind. 
 

2/10 today, really low. 

Im sorry about your wave bud. It is quite a roller coaster all of this isnt it. I know how much both you and your wife must be struggling to deal with it all. It really does take a toll on not just us, but our loved ones too. Hope you pick up soon. There is a window with your name on it just round the corner, remember this process isnt linear. Also remember the better days you have had. 🙂 

Regarding the sertraline ADR- yes this can have effects for a very long time.

 

In general, the more drugs have been taken, and the more changes made in a short period of time, the harder and harder it is to unpick what is what.

On 2/15/2026 at 11:01 PM, LostinCanada said:

If water is one of the ingredients, you can dilute it further to get a more accurate measurement. Only dilute a small amount from the manufactured liquid because after you add water stability/shelf life will be unknown. 

How would I do this? @LostinCanada - Simple case of taking 1ml of my manufactured liquid (15mg/ml) and then adding 1ml of water?

 

On 2/16/2026 at 7:30 AM, Chippy said:

Unfortunately recovering from all this takes a lot of time and patience and there is no easy fix.

 

It's your choice if you want to increase your dose

Thanks @Chippy - I decided to stay put at 5.25mg and continue to hold... I really need to get back to work is my issue, my wife is becoming increasingly concerned about what we're going to do once she returns back in Aug after her maternity, yesterday we discussed the possibility of leaving the UK to relocate back to FR where we would live off her salary. This stressful situation is not aiding with healing, in fact I think it's making it quite a lot worse. 

 

15 hours ago, Luke said:

Regarding the sertraline ADR- yes this can have effects for a very long time.

 

In general, the more drugs have been taken, and the more changes made in a short period of time, the harder and harder it is to unpick what is what.

This makes me wonder whether its going to take me a long time to recover because of all the things I took in a short space of time, I don't think I experienced an ADR from Quetiapine, I only had the black box warning side effects.. Although, I will say that since taking that I have had really bad severe depression waves coupled with thoughts which I never had prior, even during the ADR with Sertraline and Mirtazapine... I understand it's only 4 weeks since I reinstated, I am just becoming increasingly worried I won't stabilise before I need to return back to work... Guess time will tell how all of this ends up... 

24 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

How would I do this? @LostinCanada - Simple case of taking 1ml of my manufactured liquid (15mg/ml) and then adding 1ml of water?

There you go mate: Using Manufactured Liquid Antidepressants

 

24 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

Thanks @Chippy - I decided to stay put at 5.25mg and continue to hold... I really need to get back to work is my issue, my wife is becoming increasingly concerned about what we're going to do once she returns back in Aug after her maternity, yesterday we discussed the possibility of leaving the UK to relocate back to FR where we would live off her salary. This stressful situation is not aiding with healing, in fact I think it's making it quite a lot worse. 

Im sorry mate. I get you. Not easy any of this.

 

Unfortunately there are no easy fixes and looking for them just causes more issues most of the time, I think you did the right thing.

The extra stress on you both will certainly not make this any easier on you for sure.

 

How do you feel about France? Would that be an option if it eases the strain financially? I guess it puts you further away from friends and your Mum/family and all that which perhaps isn't ideal. 

8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

How do you feel about France? Would that be an option if it eases the strain financially?

I mean, my wife seems to think we’d be able to live on one salary and I’d be able to take my time to heal in a warmer climate and potentially do a part time job in the meantime whilst stabilising. I lived there for 7yrs when I was younger, funny enough it’s how me and my wife met. We’ve been together since we were young, 16 years this year! 
 

at the moment I have the stress of the mortgage, intense corporate role, large bills etc so it’s either I return back to work and get on with it or I don’t, but that means we’d need to leave. 
 

Yeah, my parents and everyone around me would be pretty distraught if we were to take that decision.. in terms of friends, from what I’ve seen life continues without us @Chippy, of course people need to get on with their lives and most just don’t want to listen to me bang on about my symptoms and struggles all day. Maybe a change of air, in the countryside with nice weather might not be a bad thing… 

23 minutes ago, The_Taper_Man said:

I mean, my wife seems to think we’d be able to live on one salary and I’d be able to take my time to heal in a warmer climate and potentially do a part time job in the meantime whilst stabilising. I lived there for 7yrs when I was younger, funny enough it’s how me and my wife met. We’ve been together since we were young, 16 years this year! 
 

at the moment I have the stress of the mortgage, intense corporate role, large bills etc so it’s either I return back to work and get on with it or I don’t, but that means we’d need to leave. 
 

Yeah, my parents and everyone around me would be pretty distraught if we were to take that decision.. in terms of friends, from what I’ve seen life continues without us @Chippy, of course people need to get on with their lives and most just don’t want to listen to me bang on about my symptoms and struggles all day. Maybe a change of air, in the countryside with nice weather might not be a bad thing… 

It's all sounding temping isnt it. You never know how it will be actually go I know, but you have experience in France and the weight off your shoulders might be what you both need. 

 

How's your French? Good Im guessing?

 

Where would you live?

 

I know what you mean about friends. They cant really be expected to understand Im afraid. Ive seen a few rare instances where friends are REALLY supportive must mostly they either struggle to understand or, as you said, have lives to get on with.

6 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

How would I do this? @LostinCanada - Simple case of taking 1ml of my manufactured liquid (15mg/ml) and then adding 1ml of water?

Chippy got to you first. ❤️

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/topic/251-using-manufactured-liquid antidepressants/#comment-4555

 

6 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

possibility of leaving the UK

I think Chippy made a good point about having friends and family around.

Can you downsize where you are...smaller home, one vehicle, etc? Can you apply for disability through your employer or try PIP? 

Don't get me wrong, France is absolutely gorgeous. Just weigh out the stress of a big change and possible lack of support. Also getting a doctor and drug supply.

Your wife sounds like a gem...tell her every day. 👍

6 hours ago, The_Taper_Man said:

don't think I experienced an ADR from Quetiapine, I only had the black box warning side effects.

Reacting as quickly as you did screams ADR to me....

One day at a time.. ❤️🙏