18 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Chippy. I hope also, but this journey is intolerable. There are not words in the human language to describe this terror...

Svetla

I know and Im sorry. Please try to trust your body to know what to do. It's been through alot and it can take a long time to recover from what you have been through. And of course you still have Mirtazapine to go.

 

Are you much worse since the last drop? I know you've been having a hard time all last year from memory?

Hi Svetla, I am sending you well wishes/prayers that this gets better for you. We each have our unique journey with this but I hope that everyone's journey gets to a brighter and cleaner window versus these waves. 0.3mg is probably a good stopping point for a while. Mg Glycinate and Omega-3 are good if you are not already taking them. I take the Mg with dinner and it helps me wind down for sleep. I have my mom and some of my clients on it and they swear by it to help them sleep. Only 100mg though--no megadosing. Take care, friend!

@skamen how long are you typically waiting inbetween dose drops?

 

Other than worse sleep, do drops cause other adverse effects?

Hi @Chippy, @namastejen1 and @Luke, thank you for your support, it means a lot. I have not had a comfortable dose of any AD since February 2024 when  the drug put me in awful anhedonia. August 27,2025 I started do cut the last .5 mg of Mirtazapine and I go down so slightly, I am now at .3 mg. The insomnia started at that time, under .5 mg but became horrific December and January. I have taken magnesium but I stopped it. I will restart it this evening. The insomnia is the worst but the anhedonia, the depression, the anxiety, the adrenaline rushes,the hot flashes don't quit me. I don't know if this agony is the result of the CT from 2 ADs + Lithium in March 2025 or is caused by the Mirtazapine drops? I never have been comfortable with it but never have had an insomnia on it on higher doses. But my goal is to go off of this drugs because they caused me the anhedonia, I must eliminate this poison from my brain.

Svetla 

 

12 hours ago, skamen said:

what a nightmare, what a terror without end. In addition: depression, anhedonia, zero motivation, numbness, flatness, fatigue, brain fog. Our suffering is unbearable.

At least, I hope you are doing well.

Svetla

Hi @skamen That describes me as well at the moment, here I am at 2am typing on here as I just don't know what to do with myself.

Like you say Svetla, what a living nightmare this is. Yes I am getting brief breaks, but  they are VERY brief and few. The last 60 day wave

has been brutal and has not come to an end even yet. Testing my resolve to the very limit.

Take care Svetla,      B.🙏🙏🌷

11 hours ago, skamen said:

Hi @Chippy, @namastejen1 and @Luke, thank you for your support, it means a lot. I have not had a comfortable dose of any AD since February 2024 when  the drug put me in awful anhedonia. August 27,2025 I started do cut the last .5 mg of Mirtazapine and I go down so slightly, I am now at .3 mg. The insomnia started at that time, under .5 mg but became horrific December and January. I have taken magnesium but I stopped it. I will restart it this evening. The insomnia is the worst but the anhedonia, the depression, the anxiety, the adrenaline rushes,the hot flashes don't quit me. I don't know if this agony is the result of the CT from 2 ADs + Lithium in March 2025 or is caused by the Mirtazapine drops? I never have been comfortable with it but never have had an insomnia on it on higher doses. But my goal is to go off of this drugs because they caused me the anhedonia, I must eliminate this poison from my brain.

Svetla 

 

Hey Svetla

 

I think most of what you are experiencing is due to the rough time you’ve had with drug changes and cts in your history. This is very tough and time is the healer here. Your cns has been terribly irritated and your doing a great job coping whilst buying your system time to heal. 
 

In my opinion it’s clear you are also experiencing wd symptoms when you reduce Mirtazapine. You’ve upped dosed which I agree is the right thing to try to settle this. 
 

I understand your desire to get off all drugs. I’d advise caution on this. Mirtazapine has a nasty habit of giving you terrible wd insomnia when you come off. I’d look to stabilise from here and then proceed more cautiously with your dose reductions. Your system is quite fragile at the moment I’d worry going too quickly and ignoring the symptoms just to reach 0 would be a regret. 

On 1/21/2026 at 4:08 PM, Luke said:

@skamen how long are you typically waiting inbetween dose drops?

 

Other than worse sleep, do drops cause other adverse effects?

 

On 1/21/2026 at 5:08 PM, skamen said:

Hi @Chippy, @namastejen1 and @Luke, thank you for your support, it means a lot. I have not had a comfortable dose of any AD since February 2024 when  the drug put me in awful anhedonia. August 27,2025 I started do cut the last .5 mg of Mirtazapine and I go down so slightly, I am now at .3 mg. The insomnia started at that time, under .5 mg but became horrific December and January. I have taken magnesium but I stopped it. I will restart it this evening. The insomnia is the worst but the anhedonia, the depression, the anxiety, the adrenaline rushes,the hot flashes don't quit me. I don't know if this agony is the result of the CT from 2 ADs + Lithium in March 2025 or is caused by the Mirtazapine drops? I never have been comfortable with it but never have had an insomnia on it on higher doses. But my goal is to go off of this drugs because they caused me the anhedonia, I must eliminate this poison from my brain.

Svetla 

 

 

 

Specifically what happens after making drops, other than worsened sleep?

In addition to the horrible sleeplessness, when I cut the hellish Mirtazapine pill, the depression increases and the anhedonia worsens. Thank you to be here, dear @Chippy and @Luke.

Svetla 

On 1/21/2026 at 11:08 AM, skamen said:

The insomnia is the worst but the anhedonia, the depression, the anxiety, the adrenaline rushes,the hot flashes don't quit me.

I have had all and I still experience dose, except the insomnia..  yet, I can't sleep pass 530am as a normal person.

4 hours ago, skamen said:

In addition to the horrible sleeplessness, when I cut the hellish Mirtazapine pill, the depression increases and the anhedonia worsens. Thank you to be here, dear @Chippy and @Luke.

Svetla 

Yes so clearly wd symptoms in my view. You are at a fairly low dose at this point of Mirtazapine even when taking into account the non linear response the brain has to the drug. But your nervous system is clearly very angry at the moment and can’t cope with dropping further. Personally I’d not drop anymore till you stabilise. We’ve seen in the community dropping whilst experiencing wd symptoms worsens potential outcomes after stopping the drug. Holding and dropping in sync with your body imo maximising the chances you won’t inflict further damage to your nervous system  coming down. 

4 hours ago, Chippy said:

Personally I’d not drop anymore till you stabilise. We’ve seen in the community dropping whilst experiencing wd symptoms worsens potential outcomes after stopping the drug. Holding and dropping in sync with your body imo maximising the chances you won’t inflict further damage to your nervous system  coming down. 

I am sure, that this is good advice. And I hope so much for you, dear Svetla, that you will come through to the of the end of this tunnel , that you will see light soon! I’ve been praying for you and will keep doing it. Keep us posted on how you are!
 

Hey Svetla, I concur, hold until you stabilize. I would take Mg glycinate and Omega-3 oil. Both help with the irritated nervous system. Turmeric and Boswellia are good for brain inflammation. Bacopa for calming. However the latter 3 were not really recommend on SA and not sure if people are open to it on here either. I don't want to speak out of turn. If you were to add supplements, do one at a time for a month. The slower and longer approach is better for the brain and body to adjust. I hope you start to feel a glimmer of hope and then a larger sunny window.

 

Take care my friend!

Thank you, @namastejen1, for your post. I have taken Omega 3 and Magnesium glycinate for long time, the huge anxiety was always there, and I stopped them. I have tumeric 250 mg, perhaps I will try it? Before starting it, do I have 4-5 nights straight with 5-6 hours sleep? For the moment, my insomnia is unbearable and a new symptom appeared: leg aches. I am in a living hell (hellish depression, adrenaline rushes, hot flashes...).

Svetla

On 1/24/2026 at 12:13 AM, skamen said:

For the moment, my insomnia is unbearable and a new symptom appeared: leg aches. I am in a living hell (hellish depression, adrenaline rushes, hot flashes...).

Svetla

Sorry to hear this @skamen I can relate to what you are going through 100%. What I have found with any supplements

is that my brain WON'T allow any. I have since stopped trying. I think our brains have become too sensitized, and we have

to be ultra careful what we take. I am almost certain this also applies to certain foods as well. I have seen certain other

peoples threads on here with similar sensitivities. Are we unlucky? I don't know, we have just had our brains damaged in

a similar hash way. Stay strong Svetla, we are ALL with you on here.

Take great care,         B.🙏🙏🙏🤞🌷

Yes, we are ALL with you on here, we truly are. 

Thank you, @Nemina and @NT1100B, for your support. Why this terror is so profound? These hellish drugs take off a years from our lives. I adore my profession but I have been unable to return to work since February 2024... I am no more a human being. What the awful ADs have done with me? It is not me, I cannot recognize me... Thank you to be here, @Nemina and @NT1100B.

Svetla

On 1/23/2026 at 6:13 PM, skamen said:

Thank you, @namastejen1, for your post. I have taken Omega 3 and Magnesium glycinate for long time, the huge anxiety was always there, and I stopped them. I have tumeric 250 mg, perhaps I will try it? Before starting it, do I have 4-5 nights straight with 5-6 hours sleep? For the moment, my insomnia is unbearable and a new symptom appeared: leg aches. I am in a living hell (hellish depression, adrenaline rushes, hot flashes...).

Svetla

Hi Svetla, it is so hard to know who will have problems with supplements or who will flourish or how to take them. We're all so individualistic. With anything, go low and slow. Maybe take a quarter of the turmeric 250mg capsule...I am not sure what else in the capsule, but it is a food/spice, good with black pepper for absorption. 

 

I will pray for you and the rest that this nightmare turns into a pleasant dreams/nights and clear/sunny window days. I think of the Serenity Prayer and Surrender Novena but also the affirmations of: I trust in the process of life, I am safe. I love and approve of myself.  Even though I am having a difficult time, I can find joy in the little moments of life. Every way and every day, I am getting better and better. 

 

Be well my friend.

Thank you, Namestejen1, for your kind words. I am on awful state: cortisol spikes all the night plus morning terror, hellish anhedonia, dépression, internal akatisia... Have you experienced this terrible cortisol waves? It is inhumane. I am at the end of my month 11 after CT, and I am getting worse. I see that you take more Mirtazapine than me and you are functional and happy. So, my pitty state is not linked to the presence of the AD in my CNS? 

Svetla

1 hour ago, skamen said:

Thank you, Namestejen1, for your kind words. I am on awful state: cortisol spikes all the night plus morning terror, hellish anhedonia, dépression, internal akatisia... Have you experienced this terrible cortisol waves? It is inhumane. I am at the end of my month 11 after CT, and I am getting worse. I see that you take more Mirtazapine than me and you are functional and happy. So, my pitty state is not linked to the presence of the AD in my CNS? 

Svetla

Hey Svelta

 

Im sorry for your suffering. It breaks my heart it really does.

 

Have you considered an appointment with Dr Horowitz? Might be nice to get some of his wisdom on your situation?

 

Chippy

Dear Chippy, thank you for your post. 

I don't know what Dr. Horowitz can be able to tell me. I have never been comfortable with any dose of Mirtazipine, I cannot up it, this won't help me. The ADs caused my anhedonia, my body doesn't accept them anymore. I am holding now at .3 mg of Mirtazapine and will wait until the morning terror go less intense before dropping to .27. I want to take off this poison from my brain. I hate this drug.

Svetla

1 hour ago, skamen said:

cortisol spikes all the night plus morning terror, hellish anhedonia, dépression, internal akatisia.

Hello @skamen...sorry to hear about your struggles and suffering.  I want you to know that I have had all those symptoms.  It will get better in time unfortunately.  Just try to do what ever you can to let things pass by.  

 

I had to set up an activity scheduled on a daily basis and develop this routine to get through the day ..

 

I can promise you that things will get better and more manageable.

 

I had the cortisol spike my fist four months.  Then, I was doing great until month 10 hit me with old symptoms.  Yet, there are not as intense as it used to.  They still knock me down but it's not a daily symptom.  I have them on and off and during morning hours...

 

Afternoons are better for me...

 

Do a lot of meditation when possible.  At first, I had to walk two times per day and meditation three times per day outdoor.  Its being helping to accept this journey.

 

I'm on a long hold until further notice.  I won't cut at this time until I feel more normal again which can take many more months...

 

Don't loose hope and hang in there ..

Thank you, Raymond, for your support. It means a lot.

I know I have to allow to the time to do its healing process. But it is so long, Raymond, I am at the end of my month 11 of suffering after CT. Without window, not an oxygen, not hope. And before this hell I have been one year in awful anhedonia caused by Paxil. Two years of horrendous endless  suffering...

I read your daily updates and I hope for you.

Svetla

33 minutes ago, skamen said:

Dear Chippy, thank you for your post. 

I don't know what Dr. Horowitz can be able to tell me. I have never been comfortable with any dose of Mirtazipine, I cannot up it, this won't help me. The ADs caused my anhedonia, my body doesn't accept them anymore. I am holding now at .3 mg of Mirtazapine and will wait until the morning terror go less intense before dropping to .27. I want to take off this poison from my brain. I hate this drug.

Svetla

Hey Svelta

 

No I understand completely. It is hard for you, very hard for you at the moment. 
 

You seemed a little unsure of what is causing your issues. Is it the pwd injury from your cold turkey or is it wd from Mirtazapine. I suggested speaking to dr Horowitz as his input might help clarify this for you. I understand what you are saying though it is hard for anyone to know so perhaps he might not offer much clarity. Hard to know. If you ever want to speak with him. Let me know. 
 

I think that sounds like a good plan to me. If you can identify the symptoms that came on as a result of the recent Mirtazapine drop and wait for them to subside or reduce to levels you are happy with I would suggest this is your baseline level. Then taper from there. I can see you have a plan and all the current thinking points to this being correct. It’s all you can do. 
 

We are all with you. You’re doing amazing at finding the strength to cope with this while your body adjusts. I’m very impressed. 
 

Chippy

Yes, you are a hero. We are with you, don’t give up and let us know how you are doing. Sending prayers for you ❤️

Thank you, dear @Nemina. Your post touches my hard. Thank you also @Chippy to be here too. I have to continue my struggle which I persevere being 1. in poopout 2. after CT from 3 psychotropics in highest doses 3. with multiple sclerosis 4. after iatrogenic anhedonia during one year...

Cheers,

Svetla