3 hours ago, skamen said:

You are not too bad today, it is great. I am happy for you.

Svetla

Thanks @skamen My heart goes out to you, it hurts hearing of your pain and suffering, it is ALL WRONG. I am

praying you get a window very soon. Yes I understand you having to get your prescription, that can sometimes be

a problem, I think we jut need to tell some white lies to get our fix with no questions asked.

Take great care Svetla and please stay safe.      B.🙏🙏🙏🌷 

On 1/31/2026 at 7:38 AM, skamen said:

He doesn't recognize the withdrawal symptoms and told me to drop to 0 from .3 mg Mirtazapine because ".3 mg is nothing, all the problems are in my head, the symptoms are psychological, not real...".

This totally sad that doctors don't recognize this withdrawal symptoms.  This is the reason that I have to fake it to my doctor every year.  I have to tell him that I'm ok with medication.  The medication working great etc, so I can have my prescriptions as usual.  No point to tell him I'm at 4.79mg.  I need him to believe I'm still at 20mg doing great.....fake it until you make it.   Very sad 😢 and disappointed 😞....

 

But you need to do what you need to do and continue moving forward.  If you are at .3, you need to hold.  The brain is trying to adjust to your new low dose.  It takes time, but it's worth it.

 

During my first year, all I did was walk outside in nature.  It helped me and still continue to help me.  When symptoms comes, I will repeat to myself, "I do not fear, God is with me, this is just part of the healing process".  I took few psalm verses for every symptom I was getting...

 

I am also taking psychotherapy CBT.  It's helps me a lot and helps me to be in the present.

 

Now, that SA is ready only, I'm focusing more to be in AR.  I will probably download few documents that can be helpful since many people can't afford psychotherapy...my therapist provided to me few interesting documents.

 

One book that you can look for is "Stop feeding the monkey mind....great book.  I sometimes go back and read it.

 

Our symptoms are real, and it's sad that doctors thinks it's up in our head.  Now, I can see that none of us are crazy.  We are experiencing something that is real.  Some doctors are the ones that are crazy and need help.  They have no compassion at all. 

 

Hanging in there.  Do not make any changes.  Let the .3 work on you.  Believe me that the .3 is doing the job in holding even worse withdrawal symptoms.   Your goal now is to stabilize and it can take few years.  

 

I'm at 13 months and still holding since October 2025.  The longer I hold, the more my brain and body will stabilize even if it takes me this year without cutting.

 

I have read stories where people literally made holds of two years until all symptoms faded away before reducing.  Then, the journey was a lot better coming off.

Thank you so much, Raymond, for your advises. I will stay on .3 mg, I don't have a choice, I feel awful, espacially today I am with unbearable brain fog. This living hell is endless, I started my month 12 of agony... Thank you to be here.

Svetla

Hi @skamen I am sorry to see you in so much pain and distress, Raymond has given you some very good

advise there on the hold, and dealing with Doctors for prescription. He has explained it a bit better than me.

I was pretty useless at school, and spent too much time larking about. Regret it now.

 

So just keep holding Svetla, I know it's hard, we just want it OUT of our system, but CT could be very dangerous.

So I am hoping and praying that you very soon get a window🤞 we are with you ALWAYS.

Take care,       B.🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷 

Yes, @skamen, You are not alone. Do not give up, the window will come. 💟 Praying for You, Nemina

Thank you so much @Nemina and @NT1100B to be present. What a Hell... But we don't have a choice to embrace our suffering.

Svetla

Maybe you wanna read this as encouragement. Note: timelines vary, but not the trajectory of healing. Take good care of you! 
https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/33690-offeffexor-successful-recovery-ten-years-of-healing-full-mental-and-neurologic-health-restored/

 

 

Thank you, Nemina, for this link. I have to hope that things will go better. 

Svetla

1 hour ago, skamen said:

Thank you so much @Nemina and @NT1100B to be present. What a Hell... But we don't have a choice to embrace our suffering.

Svetla

Unfortunately, we just have to continue.  I get my peace during sleep hoping that time flies and wake up in 2031 with no symptoms....this journey makes everything slow down...

@skamen thank you for the encouraging words on my thread, appreciate it.

Please stay strong, this is behind hell but we can do it, we are stronger than this.

Take good care, all of it will be gone at some point.

Hi Svetla, I am dropping by to see how you are doing and send you blessings/well wishes. I know that things will be looking up for you soon. The brain has to shift that way. Do what you can to bring up good memories or do a half smile--both will increase endorphins in the brain, just like exercise or sometimes chocolate can do for people. Big hugs! Take care, my friend.

Thank you, @namastejen1, for asking. I will follow your advice for the smiling exercises. Today was a hellish day. I have the filling that more I advance in the time (I started my month 12 of CT) worse becomes my state. I am so hopeless...

Svetla

2 hours ago, skamen said:

I am so hopeless...

You are not without hope. You will be ok eventually. I always think of you and know you will get better. 

6 hours ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @namastejen1, for asking. I will follow your advice for the smiling exercises. Today was a hellish day. I have the filling that more I advance in the time (I started my month 12 of CT) worse becomes my state. I am so hopeless...

Svetla

 

That is not uncommon among others who have CTd.

 

It is complicated somewhat by then reinstating and tapering again.

 

The point of highlighting this is that what you are going through is not totally unique- there are others who have been through similar and come out the other side healed. I hope that you will follow the same path.

Hi @skamen I hope you are not as bad as you have been 🤞 I think if you continue to hold, so your CNS

is not upset anymore, then eventually you will be blessed with a window🙏 I am praying for you. I have been

awake myself since 23.30 last night, in a living hell until 7am. I always think of you when I am in such a state

because I know you know exactly how I feel.

 

My heart goes out to you, because I know the horrendous suffering you are going through. Take it 1 second,

minute, hour and day at a time, pamper yourself as much as you can, and take it slow and easy. As heart breaking

as it is, there is no quick fix. BUT you WILL recover. WE are with you Svetla. There are some VERY GOOD people on here.

Take great care,         B.🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷  

 

Yes, Svetla, you are not alone! Thinking of you…

Thank you so much, @Chippy, @Luke, @Nemina and @NT1100B to be here. I don't know how I will stay alive without you. I become to think that I have a brain broken, it is not possible to live 12 months after CT in this Hell without a small window. What happens with my CNS? A year before the CT I have been in anhedonia caused by this poison. Since February 2024 I have not been a human being. And after the CT the anhedonia became x10000 worse... I don't know how I was able to fonction before this nightmare, to teach, to do my research... I don't know...

Dear B., I am so sorry for you, another hellish night, it is Inhumane. So sorry...

Thank you again to be near by me, thank you all of you.

Svetla

@skamen Svetla it sounds like you have a nit wit for a psych doc. It does not surprise me. As we ll know most doctors, including psychiatrists have no clue on how to get people off these meds and don’t believe the hell we all experience coming off them. They think it’s relapse  My primary care doc is of the same mind. I told him I was tapering off doxepin very slowly and it was pure hell and I shared with him about all the folks on SA. He was of the opinion we were all malingering. I told him that thankfully I had an informed & caring psych doc who disagreed with him that I was working with, so he didn’t need to concern himself with my taper.  
Sounds like you got lots of good advice here from our fellow AR friends so I have nothing to add. Take care & I hope you get some much needed relief soon. 

Pokey 

Sending hugs and love. ❤️🙏

Hi Skamen

I'm new here, but not to the hell you speak of. Because it was SO BAD, I always went back on the drugs! UGH! No more.

 

Does it help to hear that you are NOT SICK, NOT BROKEN, NOT ALONE????

 

I grew so tired of being told that I NEEDED these meds because I was so sick (a victim of extreme childhood trauma.) But the anxiety and insomnia I had BEFORE THE MEDS was manageable. After the meds, it was much worse, so I consider myself a victim of medication injury and malpractice.

 

Still, I hurt with and for you. I too, believed doctors who kept throwing everything at me. I think I've taken every drug on the market except Lithium and Abilify. None worked. All hurt me.

 

Keep coming back. Keep sharing.

Thank you so much, @mars, for your encouragement. I hate these poisons and all the psychiatry who takes human lives. 

Svetla

Hi @skamen How are you doing today? Any improvement yet? It's so heart breaking to see someone

in such distress when stuck in a living hell. I myself am gradually getting some respite. Now if you continue

to hold, it will take time Svetla, but you then should see symptoms easing, then lift into a window. I am praying 

for this to happen for you.🙏

Take great care,            B.🙏🙏🙏🤞🌷

Thank you for asking, @NT1100B. Horrible night, only 2 hours of sleep, woke up at 1:15, terror, living Hell.

Great that you have some relief, you deserve finally this.

Svetla

7 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you for asking, @NT1100B. Horrible night, only 2 hours of sleep, woke up at 1:15, terror, living Hell.

Great that you have some relief, you deserve finally this.

Svetla

Do you also get this brain jolt.  Like every time you close your eyes to sleep, your brain will jolt and wake you up with cortisol anxiety or burning or fear sensation?

7 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Do you also get this brain jolt.  Like every time you close your eyes to sleep, your brain will jolt and wake you up with cortisol anxiety or burning or fear sensation?

Ive had this Raymond. It's frustrating isnt it.