On 1/10/2026 at 7:06 AM, skamen said:

My hell is awful. I have been CT-ed in March 2025 by the psychiatrist from 2 powerful ADs + lithium at the same time. I have been talking also the hellish Mirtazapine which I am tapering now. I am on 0,3 mg and want to evacuate it from my brain as soon as possible. I hate this poison, I hate psychiatry, I hate the big Pharma...all of them ruined our lifes

Hi @skamen, I've been meaning to comment on your page. I am so sorry that you have going through this awful torment. I wish there was more knowledge and research on what to do in your scenario. I hate the poison too and what it has done to so many lifes. I do believe that everyone will heal. Those in the same scenarios as you have, so there is hope for you and everyone on this site. Many prayers your way for some relief from the anhedonia. It truly is evil. You will get your feelings back.🙏❤️

Thank you, @HopePerseveres2.0 for your encouragement. I need it in this awful time. The Hell is so long and unbearable, one year in hellish anhedonia under ADs followed by one year in the agony of the CT...

Svetla

Hey @skamen, just wanted to drop by and tell you that I am still thinking of you and including you in my prayers. The end of this will come! 

Thank you, @Nemina, to be here. The anhedonia is brutal, I am no more human being, this removes all human elements from the person...

Svetla

14 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Nemina, to be here. The anhedonia is brutal, I am no more human being, this removes all human elements from the person...

Svetla

Sending love and hugs Svetla. One day this will pass for you and you will be on here cheering others on I know it! I hope everyday this gets better for you.

Thank you, @Chippy for your presence. I have to endure the ordeal, what is my other choice?

Svetla

15 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Chippy for your presence. I have to endure the ordeal, what is my other choice?

Svetla

You will be rewarded! I know it! You are strong!

20 hours ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @LostinCanada, for your advice. I will stay on .3 mg. But the Hell is inhuman, my brain has been crushed.

Svetla

 

This is just my personal thoughts, and you might not agree or want to listen to the advice of others, however:

• You have been in very bad condition since CT from multiple drugs
• Introducing mirtazapine since then did not make it better
• Dropping the dose introduced worse insomnia but not a significant ramping up of how bad things are other than that (this is my understanding from past posts).

I would be tempted to make a small drop and accept worsening insomnia for a time if it meant I was getting off of medications and then beginning to heal without them eventually, if I were in your position.

Thank you, @Luke, for your post. My deepest wish is to get off of this hellish Mirtazapine. By the end of this week I will try .27 mg. 

Svetla

Hi Svetla,

If you are inclined, take it slow and see what happens from what @Luke suggested, not medically advised. But yes, as different people have mentioned as I did a while back, you had a lot of CTs almost a year ago. So slowly see if it makes a difference to drop by 10% the Mirt. If not, updose to where you were originally. It can take about a week or so to see an improvement or not. We are all rooting for you! Prayers sent your way too (or well wishes--however you would like to conceptualize them).

Thank you, @namastejen1 for contacting me. Yes, I will do very carefully, I will wait a little bit more (until the end of the week?) because of the night and morning cortisol spikes which are awful.

Rooting for you, Svetla. Take it one day at a time. It will get better. 

Thinking of you Svetla. It's your choice and for some I dont think there is a right decision. As others have said. Take it steady 10% perhaps is a bit much try 5% to test the water. Tbh you could try even smaller just to see how you are. Maybe you would tolerate a micro taper better? Your call obviously. We all want you to feel better.

Whatever you decide, @skamen, we will be here for you. Sending you a prayer,

Nemina 

Thank you, @Toast, @Nemina and @Chippy to be here. Awful night, 3 hours broken sleep with a cortisol spikes, inner akatisia, SI. Horrendous. I will stay on .3 mg Mirtazipine until some relief. My CNS is really injured, it is not possible otherwise this agony which lasts 12 months straight.

Svetla

2 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Toast, @Nemina and @Chippy to be here. Awful night, 3 hours broken sleep with a cortisol spikes, inner akatisia, SI. Horrendous. I will stay on .3 mg Mirtazipine until some relief. My CNS is really injured, it is not possible otherwise this agony which lasts 12 months straight.

Svetla

We are here however long Svetla. You are so brave we are very proud of you!

Hi @skamen

 

im with you on the anhedonia your not alone. We will get through this. You’re so strong.

 

👌❤️👊

Thank you, @Richie. Hellish anhedonia, what an inhuman state... But we have to hope that one day this Evil will be behind us.

Svetla 

The psychiatrist proposed me today psilocybine treatment... I am so scared about this. Does someone have an opinion on this?

Svetla

49 minutes ago, skamen said:

The psychiatrist proposed me today psilocybine treatment... I am so scared about this. Does someone have an opinion on this?

Svetla

As bad as symptoms are, I will not try anything new.  It can destabilize your CNS more. 

 

Maybe another person with more knowledge can help on this one...

 

I have been successful so far because I just hold and don't put anything new in my system...

Thank you, @Raymond, for your post. It helps me in my reflections. I will stay away from these "new treatments".

Svetla

2 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Raymond, for your post. It helps me in my reflections. I will stay away from these "new treatments".

Svetla

I know it's hard and we want comfort, but the longer you wait, the better will eventually be...

 

I had to learn to take one day at a time.  There were many times where I thought about different things, but I managed to hold on to allow system recovery more natural.

 

Trust me, I'm a coward person and if I am able to continue moving forward, you can as well...

 

Keep holding....

Dear Svetla, I can understand so well that You are looking for a solution. Has this psychiatrist experience in helping people in withdrawal, with injury from tapering? Has he done this psylocibin treatment with this type of patient many times and always with success or at least without causing more problems? Or is this just an experiment like so much in psychiatry, where they just try what may help and if this doesn´t help just try another substance?

If he just wants to try something I definitely would not do it. I agree with @Raymond, the danger that you destabilise your system is too high. Take care, Nemina

If You desparately want to try something, it might be a change in diet? I have just seen a video with Anderssen, where he said, do not add something, the only way to change something during withdrawal is leave something aside that you have taken or eaten before. And he recommends keto, so maybe You want to inform yourself about this. But beware, even a change of diet can destabilize and has to be made very slowly. 

 

You right rit, @Nemina. I asked the psychiatrist if he has an experience with 

1. People in withdrawal

2. People in iatrogenic anhedonia 

He answered "no"... He does an experimental study with psilocybine...

Thank you, @Nemina and @Raymondfor your logical feedback, in the present state even my brain is blocked for so obviously reflections. I cannot recognize myself, in a normal situation I am a very cerebral person...

Svetla