Checking in on you Svetla. Let us know how you are? I hope a clear and sunny window has emerged for you or is on the horizon. Blessings and hugs, my friend. 

Dear @namastejen1, thank you for asking, it means a lot. My agony continues 13 months already. New symptoms have appeared: nausea and solar plexus aches. 

This terror is endless...

Svetla

I am sorry you are having what I think is continued PAWS from the CTs. Now you are having stomach issues. Can you use a heating pad to see if it might help your stomach? Or a nice herbal tea might also help. Or you can simple put your hands on your belly and send positive thoughts. Warmth can sometimes be a wonderful soother and positive words are a good way to provider self-care.

I pray that your and everyone else wakes up to a beautiful, clear, sunny window--feeling really good and like ourselves again.  🌞🪟😄

Be well and prayers/healing thoughts, my friend.

Oh @skamen, so much suffering. We are all hoping and praying for a window for you to come. I think @namastejen1s ideas are very good. Warmth and positive words that’s what I do a lot, too. I have my hot water bottle most of the time with me when I’m at home. 

thinking of you! 
 

@skamen Svetla you often report one of your worst WD symptoms is cortisol spikes. I think I’m having the same but not sure. Would you mind describing your physical bodily symptoms when you believe you are having them. 

My symptoms that wake me up include: a god awful creepy crawly anxious feeling throughout my whole body that comes and goes in waves. Nausea, fatigue, body stiffness, restlessness, mild SOB. My heart rate & BP are elevated. Not dangerously so, just higher than my usual baseline. However this is when I can check. I don’t know what they are before awakening. Takes a while for the anxious restlessness to wear off. I often have to get up as I can’t stand laying still in one spot with such misery. I self massage and do slow deep breathing to try & help alleviate the terrible symptoms. 

Hi @Pokey449. I have all the night a hot flashes with an awful anxiety and depression, nausea, my chest is crushed, an intrusive thoughts, morning terror... And during the day the anhedonia is hellish, not motivation for nothing, not feeling for nothing, I cannot cry neither laugh, emotional anesthesia.

How was your sleep, Pokey, last night?

Svetla

My sleep was interrupted twice last night with the miserable symptoms described above. Awful, miserable feeling hell. But then the sick,  exhausted feeling has lingered into my day. Don’t feel like doing anything but laying on my recliner & drinking tea. 

I read you want to go to zero soon, @skamen? I will be thinking of you. You are brave and strong, you will get through. 

Yes, dear @Nemina. ADs put me in hellish anhedonia, since February 2024 I have been in poop-out, my body doesn't accept anymore these drugs. I have done a very slow tapering of Mirtazapine, the 4th psychotropic on which the psychiatrist has put me in March 2024. Not a comfortable dose since more than 2 years, I cannot stay on ADs anymore, they broke me. I know that after 0 my Hell will continue but at least I will free my CNS from the drug and give it the appropriate space to recalibrate and find homeostasis. I don't have other choice. And I am really determinated.

Thank you for the support, Nemina, I need strongly it.

Svetla

Edited March 17Mar 17 by skamen

5 hours ago, skamen said:

Yes, dear @Nemina. ADs put me in hellish anhedonia, since February 2024 I have been in poop-out, my body doesn't accept anymore these drugs. I have done a very slow tapering of Mirtazapine, the 4th psychotropic on which the psychiatrist has put me in March 2024. Not a comfortable dose since more than 2 years, I cannot stay on ADs anymore, they broke me. I know that after 0 my Hell will continue but at least I will free my CNS from the drug and give it the appropriate space to recalibrate and find homeostasis. I don't have other choice. And I am really determinated.

Thank you for the support, Nemina, I need strongly it.

Svetla

Sending you love Svelta. We are all right there with you. Healing will come for you. I hope being at zero will be the start of that. Xxx

Thinking about you Svetla. Hoping for some comfort & decent sleep for you. 

We are with you! You will make it. I have heard that after poop out one has to taper through the symptoms and not make extremely long holds waiting for stability that never comes. Rushing is never good, but going to zero is a good plan for you I think. 
I keep praying for you!

@skamen, am I understanding correctly from your other posts that you have now jumped off to 0mg from 1.5mg?

Yes, @Luke. The slow taper and holding don't help me, I am always in terror. The ADs caused me poop-out, during one whole year I was in different pills and psychiatric traitements without any improvement. I cannot take anymore this agony, I want free my brain from this poison and hope that the time will help my CNS to reach homeostasis.

Edited March 21Mar 21 by skamen

Oh, I did not think the plan to go to zero meant to do this in one jump.🤔 Keep us posted on how you are doing, dear @skamen. I am a bit worried. ❤️💭
I do understand that you want to get rid of the medicine, though. 
thinking of you!
 

Thinking of you @skamen that was a big jump. Xxxx

Thinking of you, @skamen. How are you doing? 

You are a lovely person, dear @Nemina, thank you for asking. The mornings are awful, the nights are difficult (always with adrenaline spikes as before crossing 0), all old WD symptoms are worse. But I have known that it will be like this. I don't have any choice because the ADs caused my iatrogenic anhedonia. When I was on AD I have experienced several dépressions despite the drugs, after that I started to feel slowly that my usual enthusiasm started to decrease for everything I love (husband, daughter, work, piano...). And I was ON antidepressant. And one day in February 2024 I was not able to return in class, my brain was like frozen, my head empty, I was taken from the world...

5 hours ago, skamen said:

You are a lovely person, dear @Nemina, thank you for asking. The mornings are awful, the nights are difficult (always with adrenaline spikes as before crossing 0), all old WD symptoms are worse. But I have known that it will be like this. I don't have any choice because the ADs caused my iatrogenic anhedonia. When I was on AD I have experienced several dépressions despite the drugs, after that I started to feel slowly that my usual enthusiasm started to decrease for everything I love (husband, daughter, work, piano...). And I was ON antidepressant. And one day in February 2024 I was not able to return in class, my brain was like frozen, my head empty, I was taken from the world...

Dear Svelta. I hope, now drug free, you can start to heal and put your nervous system back together. It might be a slow process but you will get there. The final drop will likely have hit you but you’ll bounce back. Thinking of you. Xxxxx

Thank you, @Chippy, for your encouragement. It means a lot. I know that the healing will be slow (In plus I have multiple sclerosis which is mastered but with a lot of lesions on the brain + one whole year in anhedonia caused by the AD and ON multiple ADs and psychiatric traitements which exhausted my brain) but I will endure the horror of the WD, there is not other option for me.

Svetla

29 minutes ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @Chippy, for your encouragement. It means a lot. I know that the healing will be slow (In plus I have multiple sclerosis which is mastered but with a lot of lesions on the brain + one whole year in anhedonia caused by the AD and ON multiple ADs and psychiatric traitements which exhausted my brain) but I will endure the horror of the WD, there is not other option for me.

Svetla

We are all here right with you xxxx

1 hour ago, skamen said:

I know that the healing will be slow (In plus I have multiple sclerosis which is mastered but with a lot of lesions on the brain + one whole year in anhedonia caused by the AD and ON multiple ADs and psychiatric traitements which exhausted my brain) but I will endure the horror of the WD, there is not other option for me.

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing, @skamen. You will endure, you will make it. Keep us posted, we are in this with you

Rooting for you @skamen

❤️

Thank you, @Finni. How are you today?

Thinking of you, @skamen! I was happy to see you posting something on some other thread. You have our back.