My heart goes out to you, @skamen ! I wish I could do something for you. Do not give up, there’s a life on the other side of this terrible situation. You will be incredibly strong and happy, when you have all this behind you. You are in my prayers.

Thank you, lovely @Nemina. Before this horrific journey I never have known that such a Hell is even possible to exist on Earth...

Svetla

Yes I am so sorry that you have to suffer through this. One day it will be in the past, but now it feels endless. Do not give up!

Hi @skamen - how are you doing today?

I am in awful situation @SpiroC. Couldn't sleep at all, cortisol surges, neck and legs pains, hellish anhedonia, dark depression, big anxiety. My struggle is endless, I try to survive. And you?

I’m so sorry to hear Skamen. One day this will all be over and you will look back on it like it was all a dream. That’s atleast what I’m hoping for.. I’m doing ok, not able to do much. Been staying at my mom’s place since my partner left me , she couldn’t understand or deal with the psych med harm / withdrawal story. I miss her but I also understand that I couldn’t let her be my care taker. Not able to do a whole lot in my days. I went to gym yesterday (forced) was difficult. Today I woke up and read recovery stories watched YouTube videos on recovery to give me some hope. I feel like I’m trapped in this.

@skamen Im just popping by Dear Svelta to say hi and wish some healing and send you some love. Your strength is amazing and you will be rewarded on the other side of this drug induced mess. xxxxx

Svelta, I hope you will have a better day soon. I wish you strength and peace.

Thank you, @Billford81 for stopping by me. It is awful, the cortisol spikes, the dark depression, the morning terror, the horrendous anhedonia kill me.

And how about you?

Svetla

Edited May 7May 7 by skamen

Ah, I am the same nothing has changed these last 5 months. Do you move around or lie down mostly?

I am so sorry, @Billford81, for you, so sorry for us. I cannot lie down, my inner terror is unbearable, and in the same time I don't do anything of the hellish anhedonia. No motivation for nothing, it is inhumane. Do you have some relief, even small, more motivation and desire for doing things?

Svetla

Edited May 7May 7 by skamen

Motivation not really, but until these couple days I had the desire to do things. I did not have joy or excitement but I did have desire. However thats absent for the last few days. Mostly I feel like I do things just to kill time, all of them feel meaningless. How is your attention span?

It is a good sign, @Billford81, that the healing is there. My cognitive functions are very bad, I have the feeling that it is not me, I cannot recognize myself and I am wondering how I was able to function before this Hell.

Svetla

Can you feel negative emotions @Billford81 ? Do you experience head symptoms as well? Pressure, pain, weird sensations like your brain is air?

I do have headaches but that's not related to withdrawal other wise my head is fine. I don't have negative emotions.

I hope you see improvements soon @Billford81 😞❤️

On 5/7/2026 at 5:50 PM, skamen said:

I am so sorry, @Billford81, for you, so sorry for us. I cannot lie down, my inner terror is unbearable, and in the same time I don't do anything of the hellish anhedonia. No motivation for nothing, it is inhumane. Do you have some relief, even small, more motivation and desire for doing things?

Svetla

I’m so sorry for your suffering ❤️‍🩹

Do you feel any better now after being completely off or were you doing a bit better while still on mirtazapine?

Thank you for asking, @Finni. I am 50 days off of Mirtazapine and I feel awful because of the cortisol/adrenaline spikes during the night which come with sweats, dark depression and itching. I have had them for 14 months now but after stopping the drug they exploded. And this hellish feeling of dread, terror and dying exclusively in the morning. If I felt asleep around 22:30 this awful cortisol wakes me up every 1-2 hours, and around 5 am I cannot more stay in bed of the morning feeling of terror. In plus the anhedonia kills me. And you?

Hi @skamen Svetla. How’s it going for you today? Are you getting any respite? I’m pretty much a couch potato today. When I feel this bad I think of you and the hell you are going through. I hope you are in fact feeling better & getting a modicum of sleep

Pokey

Oh, @Pokey449, my Living Hell is endless. The cortisol/adrenaline spikes literally kil me. I don't know if you know this feeling of dying, of utter terror, of hellish depression, of sweats caused by the cortisol spikes. It is inhuman, nobody deserves to suffer like this. I cannot sleep, I cannot breath, the anhedonia is unbearable.

I read that you suffer a lot also. What a. Hell. Mines exploded after stopping completely Mirtazapine. This drug is a pure Devil.

Hope and Time, Pokey. Nothing else remains.

Svetla

3 minutes ago, skamen said:

Oh, @Pokey449, my Living Hell is endless. The cortisol/adrenaline spikes literally kil me. I don't know if you know this feeling of dying, of utter terror, of hellish depression, of sweats caused by the cortisol spikes. It is inhuman, nobody deserves to suffer like this. I cannot sleep, I cannot breath, the anhedonia is unbearable.

I read that you suffer a lot also. What a. Hell. Mines exploded after stopping completely Mirtazapine. This drug is a pure Devil.

Hope and Time, Pokey. Nothing else remains.

Svetla

I’m so sorry! ❤️‍🩹

Has anything gotten better?

Do you feel better in evening compared to early morning?

Svetla: I felt like I was going to die this morning when I finally got up. I could hardly make it to the kitchen. Exhausted, weak, nausea, sleep last night was terrible....I sleep a ehile, burst awake feeling unwell, sleep burst awake. Nights are totally unpredictable, they are all somewhere in between better than last night and horrible. I'm at the point today that if this continues on for months Id just as soon not wake up some morning......and being alone with all this is very isolating and lonely....the loneliness hurts almost as much as the physical pain of it all.

Thank you, @Finni. In the he evening the utter night and morning terror is replaced by solar plexus aches, it is another hellish symptom which has lasted since 6 months already. The lack of breath has persisted since December 2025, and the cortisol spikes started right away after the CT in March 2025, but now they are unbearable because of the feeling of terror, the night itching of the skin, the dark depression. I know that this Hell became 1000x worse after stopping the Mirtazapine, but even with this poison I was in Hell. I don't know when this Hell will end. I was thinking after 6 months, no. After 10 months? No. After 14 months? No, I am on my month 14...

And you, Finni?

@skamen you've been suffering for 14 months, but now you are 8 weeks off of everything.

This is 8 weeks into what will likely be your recovery, if you stay on this path. Just know that there is a lot of precedent for people recovering in time, if they stay drug free.

Unfortunately, it can be quite a lot of time. There's no denying that, but still, you are in hell, but it is a hell that you might begin to progress through and come out eventually, of now that you are drug free. That is something.

Sending some love @skamen your suffering is awful, but the rewards will be great. Hang in there. Luke is right it all starts from 8 weeks ago now. Very early days, lots of room to improve. xxx