@skamen i am so truly sorry to hear this. I feel your pain. I truly do. I’m praying for relief for all of us. As for me the intensity subsided a tiny bit. But it’s never fully gone. Hang in there. Stay in touch

So sorry Sveltla @skamen, you have not been off Mirt long and I hope that in the coming months your body will start to show you some signs of progress now you are clear of all drugs. Sending you some positive healing vibes and of course much love. xxxx

Thank you, @Chippy, that means a lot. Your reminder that I am 2 months and a half months off of this poison gives me a hope for better days. But the suffering is endless, everything is so intense with me and the degree of the cortisol terror is unimaginable, this awful feeling of dying and agony is all the night...

Svetla

Just now, skamen said:

Thank you, @Chippy, that means a lot. Your reminder that I am 2 months and a half months off of this poison gives me a hope for better days. But the suffering is endless, everything is so intense with me and the degree of the cortisol terror is unimaginable, this awful feeling of dying and agony is all the night...

Svetla

I do hate this for you. But hang in there dear Svetla. Nothing lasts for ever and before you had mirt still causing you issues. You are free now. Lots of healing happening at the moment. Praying for some windows so you can catch your breath. Xxxx

Mirtazapine can cause absolutely brutal symptoms. I know this firsthand.

You're drug free now. Hopefully this at least means that going through them is part of being on the road to getting better in time.

Thank you, @Luke, to contact me. But yes, Mirtazapine is really brutal, never known that such a suffering can exist on Earth. 70 days with hellish cortisol which doesn't decrease in intensity, an inhumane torture, I am in terror and sweats all the he night. I don't know how I am supposed to survive on this pyre... Thank you to be here.

@skamen after I came off, my cortisol was constantly high both on morning blood tests and over 24h periods measured by urine samples.

It took about 7-8 months just to not be measurably high on tests.

It did come down though, eventually. I believe it will for you too, in time.

Dear @skamen I’m so sorry that your suffering is going on for such a long time. It will end though! I have not been around much in the last weeks, but am praying for you regularly. You are wonderfully strong! You will make it!

Thank you, @Nemina. The brutality and the length of the symptoms literally kill me. What is unbearable is the intensity of the agony... But I don't have a choice. I am trying to stay alive only for my daughter and my husband. Before this brutal period I was praying to return to my work I adore, now I am praying to stay alive...

Svetla

9 hours ago, skamen said:

praying to return to my work I adore, now I am praying to stay alive...

Both can and will happen Svetla, sending some love and hope your way xxxx

Hi @skamen . Thinking about you, how are you feeling?

Thank you, @Dnepr1234, for asking. The night cortisol surges are my biggest terror. They return each hour with feeling of dying, sweats and doom. And during the day are the hellish anhedonia and the awful depression which kill me. Survival mode. And you?

Hi @skamen. I was wondering how you’re doing. Have you seen any changes at all? Today is the fourth day of my wave. Cortisol surges in the morning. Severe fatigue, crying. Wishing you relief 🙏

Oh, @Dnepr1234, thank you to contact me. I am so sorry for our suffering. My awful state doesn't change. I started yesterday my month 15 of Hell, no window, no light, straight agony. The cortisol kills me: all the night the waves come each hour with dark depression, sweat, itching, heartbeats. And around 5 a.m. the terror becomes unbearable. I cannot stay anymore in bed. After, the anxiety starts, it is so strong, I am like frozen, cannot do nothing, not read or watch something, internal akatisia and pression. All my body is under electricity, it is the chemical neurological anxiety of the WD. At least you can cry, that frees the negative emotions. I cannot do even this because of the awful anhedonia caused by the drug. And with the WD the anhedonia worsened x10000. I read 2 stories of people who were with severe symptoms 2,5 years, no window, not a minute of peace. But finally the improvement came... This gives me a hope to persevere, otherwise I don't know how I can survive.

Are you able to work? As for me, I have not worked since March 2024 when the anhedonia blocked me completely and I was not able to return in class...

Edited June 5Jun 5 by skamen

No @skamen i have not been able to work since march 2024.

I don’t even go outside. Maybe once a week for 5 minutes. It is an inhumane suffering that we’re enduring. My sleep has gotten better. I sleep 6-7 hours. But when I wake up I feel like haven’t slept at all. So I don’t know what the point of sleeping is. I just go to bed in hopes of being unconscious. Please hang in there and stay in touch.

@Dnepr1234 i totally get what you’re saying about sleep being non restorative. I drag myself around everyday weighed down by the cocktail of drugs, Night before last my sleep was very broken due to excruciating abdominal pains. My Fitbit says I got about 4 hours though very little deep sleep. So yesterday I was a zombie, making my usual dragging day seem like luxury.

@skamen sending some love your way today, your strength is truly amazing and your attitude incredible. You are right, sometimes it can take a long time for this to start to improve but that does not mean it won't happen, merely that it is taking longer than we want and should have to endure. It will come for you. Keep hanging on in there, you will be rewarded! xxxx

@Dnepr1234 @Catbird @skamen WD sleep is the worse thing, how we can be asleep even dreaming for many hours and wake up exhausted! It is crazy! I have this too quite a bit! I hope you all get some good restful sleep very soon, you certainly all deserve it!

@skamen Hi Svetla, how are you? Hoping you get some relief. Has your sleep gotten any better? What about your other symptoms? Please stay in touch.❤️

Thank you for asking, @Dnepr1234. Unfortunately zero relief, the sleep is awful, 2-3 hours per night if I am lucky to have one. Internal akathisia, jittery sensation, dark depression, apathy, terrible brain fog, derealisation... I don't know how I am supposed to survive, the intensity of the symptoms doesn't decrease. And you?

Svetla

Edited June 10Jun 10 by skamen

Hi @skamen Svetla, I’m sorry to hear about your struggles.

I still get some terrible waves of severe fatigue, jiterness, crying, depression. These symptoms last for a couple of days and then I may get a dirty window. But they don’t go away completely. I hope you feel better soon. Stay in touch.

Has anyone survived after many nights in row without sleep? 0 sleep? And before them 2 1/2 months with 2-3 hours broken sleep?

7 minutes ago, skamen said:

Has anyone survived after many nights in row without sleep? 0 sleep? And before them 2 1/2 months with 2-3 hours broken sleep?

I survived it for about 2 months, but not with many months before this with sleeping issues. I read about people dealing with insomnia from psych meds for years and they survived it. I am not trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation, but it is survivable. I am just a bit sad because I dont know how to help you.

Thank you, @MischaDE, your post reassures me. I am afraid for my life, this suffering is so intense and so long, I don't know how the brain will continue to function. I am no more human been, endless terror, agony, misery. It is brutal. Never known that such a Hell can exist.

Светла

Edited June 11Jun 11 by skamen

I am sorry Svetla...it is not fair whats happening to you. If there is any way I could help, just tell me.

@skamen Hi Svetla, I am sorry for your suffering. My heart is aching for you. You mentioned melatonin before. Is it making any difference? How about a low dose of Benadryl. That may help you sleep. Just be careful. Praying for you