1 hour ago, Luke said:

report no real withdrawal symptoms, and no changes nor fluctuations.

@Luke I do have fluctuations in physical symptoms and get horrific neuroemotions, but the symptoms I described above are there constantly in the background, without any fluctuations. The last time I felt enjoyment or interest was 6 months ago. I don't feel connected with my surroundings. There's no spark. I optimistically bought tickets to a flower show, which is normally right up my alley, but I really don't care if I go or not, even if I am physically well enough on the day. I regret wasting the money. I am also very cognitively slowed and can no longer quickly take in information or learn new things. I used to be an information sponge, soaking up data. It's all just dead inside my head. Hence my concern that there is an aspect to this which may be permanent.

11 minutes ago, Sophia said:

don’t understand how it’s even humanly possible to be unable to feel sick, tired, drunk, hungover, regular headaches… it’s so unnatural

I don't feel tired, stressed, or normally worried about things either. Alcohol also did nothing - I drank it until 3 months into withdrawal and I remember thinking that I couldn't feel it relax me.

1 hour ago, Sminismoni said:

the symptoms I described above are there constantly in the background, without any fluctuations

I have the same…. My 4 main symptoms (head pressure/weird head sensations, emotional blunting, anhedonia and severe dry eyes without any tear reflex) are there always

Edited June 21Jun 21 by Sophia

Hi I try not to come on the site too regularly as I go down rabbit holes but I saw your posts on my page.

One day when I’m better I’m going to somehow get my story across to the mental health trust here where I live, I worked for them for 20 years and it’s one of their doctors who put me on my fluoextine following my adverse reaction to Compazine.

It made me 1000 times worse until I finally settled but I was never ‘right’ on it hence the taper and coming off.

I’m at 16 months now so a way ahead of you.

As you can see from my page I’ve had many ups and downs.

I started to get longer windows in month 10 which lasted 2-3 weeks. I had a 6 week window around March time.

Things move around but for me agitation/fear is the main consistent symptom I’ve had all this time and it’s debilitating on wave days. On window days it can now 100% go which it didn’t in the past.

I still get pockets of depression which sadly seem to be worse the past 2 months, but my looping brain (kinda opposite to yours) has eased off significantly in those 2 months.

I am in a nasty wave today so feel hopeless hence coming on the site, but they always lift.

I’ve had waves now for 12 months since mt acute ended and they always always lift to a window, and I have to remind myself of that!

I’ve also scoured these pages and have found a million success stories which I read in a wave.

This is a horrid journey and it’s a scary one. I feel scared that I’ll be like this forever, even though my rational brain knows that I’ve made improvements in the last 16 months.

I really hope you some good windows soon and/or some lifting of Symtoms.

You are amazing to keep working. If I didn’t have these depression pockets with weeping I’d like to try and work, but sadly I can’t work as on those days pretty much all I do is cry!!

Sending love and hope

Rosie x

I am just in complete despair. I went on SA and cannot really find recovery stories from emotional blunting and anhedonia. The thread under that topic was very negative. I have 24/7 derealisation and numbness when negative neuro-emotions aren't at play (and even those feel "blunted" compared to the first 3 months of WD). Amotivation, like I have bricks inside me and can't start tasks. Nothing interests me. I used to love flowers, books. Now I couldn't care less. And I can't concentrate to read or absorb new information.

I can't find any recovery stories where this was the constant symptom either. I am beginning to realise that the physical WD might resolve but the PSSD aspect may not. I don't know how I can live like that. I used to have such a rich inner world. I can't access that at all anymore. I feel so hopeless today.

The way I've coped with all of this so far is to think that in 2 or 3 years I will be my old self again. Or even 5 years. But the thought of not having my sharp mind, my imagination, my creativity, my feelings for music, art, nature back ever, is destroying me.

Edited June 21Jun 21 by Sminismoni

@Sminismoni Hi, have you tried going on the internet and typing in "anhedonia and emotional blunting success stories". You'll find many links from others on Reddit, Benzobuddies and others who have gone through the same and posted success stories. Good luck.🙂

Anhedonia for two years, healed! https://benzobuddies.org/topic/266718-anhedonia-for-two-years-healed/

Dear @Sminismoni, please read the above link.

Long term use of ADs caused my awful anhedonia which became unbearable with the CT. Since February 2024 I have not been me, not interest for nothing, an internal blockage for everything I used to love to do, I cannot recognize me. In addition of this I am in the Hell of horrid inner akatisia, cortisol torture, insomnia, feeling of dying... I feel you very well.

I keep reading this one

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/31009-3bbsgurkpog-great-success/

And this one

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/14913-pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on/

They both comment in te replies to all questions.

Also this one gives me hope

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/26793-violets-fully-recovered-from-severe-form-of-pssd-after-two-years/

Thank you, @Sophia, for these links. Pleas post other ones when you find them.

I am so hopeless and the only thing that was helping me cope up until this point was believing in recovery. That one day I would have my sense of self, my physical health, my brain and normal emotions back. But I'm reading the Hengartner paper again on Protracted withdrawal using data from SA.

It's not filling me with hope. ChatGPT:

If you're trying to answer the specific question, "Of the people in this paper whose outcome was actually known, how many recovered?", then:

Recovered (natural + reinstatement + other treatment) = 15 people

Partially recovered = 12 people

Suicide = 2 people

Outcome unknown/not reported = 36 people

So among the 33 people with a known outcome, about 45% were reported as recovered, 36% partially recovered, and 6% died by suicide.

This is not a life.

@Sminismoni You will recover, you have to unapologetically believe in this. Any other thought is not an option.

That data set is so tiny, its virtually pointless to look at. I really believe that spending time looking for proof of healing is pointless and just leads down a rabbit hole of despair.

If you must read that data, I see something more positive in the numbers. Nearly 50% of those people 100% recovered and most of the others are currently on their way to recovering 100% but are not there yet. Sadly a small number didn't find the strenth to keep going, don't let that be you. xxx

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

@Sminismoni You will recover, you have to unapologetically believe in this. Any other thought is not an option.

That data set is so tiny, its virtually pointless to look at. I really believe that spending time looking for proof of healing is pointless and just leads down a rabbit hole of despair.

If you must read that data, I see something more positive in the numbers. Nearly 50% of those people 100% recovered and most of the others are currently on their way to recovering 100% but are not there yet. Sadly a small number didn't find the strenth to keep going, don't let that be you. xxx

Wish I could ‘like’ this 1000x!!

On 6/21/2026 at 10:24 AM, Sophia said:

Did you feel that as well Luke? Like the way your brain felt and worked was completely altered?

Very much so, for a long time, although I was constantly extremely exhausted and physically sick as well.

On 6/21/2026 at 10:34 AM, Sminismoni said:

@Luke I do have fluctuations in physical symptoms and get horrific neuroemotions, but the symptoms I described above are there constantly in the background, without any fluctuations. The last time I felt enjoyment or interest was 6 months ago. I don't feel connected with my surroundings. There's no spark. I optimistically bought tickets to a flower show, which is normally right up my alley, but I really don't care if I go or not, even if I am physically well enough on the day. I regret wasting the money. I am also very cognitively slowed and can no longer quickly take in information or learn new things. I used to be an information sponge, soaking up data. It's all just dead inside my head. Hence my concern that there is an aspect to this which may be permanent.

I get that, and I had that concern for a very long time. I still think you're experiencing withdrawal syndrome, and that it will improve in time.

None of what you're describing is "abnormal" for withdrawal and there have been plenty of others who experienced similar, who eventually went on to improve and then recover.

Another very bad day. I wonder if it's the heat. I am bedbound, fatigued, can't move, I just feel heavy. Walking to the toilet requires too much effort. I haven't eaten. Very blurry vision with a completely dense head with no concentration amd few thoughts. No emotions, complete apathy that is absolutely tormenting. I want to die. I can't face the prospect of never enjoying a sunset again or being sparked by a topic and buying 6 books on it and reading them all in a matter of weeks. That's the person I was. I don't want life if I can never get that back.

I am still tormented by the negativity on other subs like Reddit. People who are like this for years with no feelings and apathy, with ongoing major symptoms and saying they got worse at 3 years off etc.

I'm not sure why I don't read those kinds of super negative Reddit stories here,. These kind of people weren't on SA either as far as I could see. Who are those people? Are they just so protracted they've given up on support groups? Do they like posting as a form of misery porn? It truly confuses me. Keen to hear your thoughts @Luke and @Chippy. I just find them so triggering and don't understand how their conversation on medication harm can be so much more pessimistic, and the cases so much more extreme. On the flip side, I have avoided a lot of the American withdrawal coaches and support groups too, because I find them almost the opposite. There is a vibe of toxic positivity about some that really puts me off, and a one size fits all approach, with lots of focus on activation style symptoms such as akathisia but little focussing on those who have apathy and blunting (which gets me hopeless too).

Hey @Sminismoni I’m sorry for your suffering. Luke and Chippy may have more insight than me — but one thing I would say about Reddit is that you don’t generally get the kinds of detailed stories, med histories, and back-and-forth conversation that you get here, and previously on SA. So it’s really difficult to know, for example, why someone may have worsened at 3 years off, or what may have caused a particular case to be so extreme and protracted.

Even the worst cases I have read about here, on SA, and in more long form sources like Mad in America, have seen progress over time, and even if not fully recovered several years out continue to see positive progress.

As hard as it may be, we need to try hard to believe in our own recoveries.

@SarahMc I can't seem to fight the hopelessness. No amount of challenging or self compassion or any srrategy is helping to shift this. It is so strong, and I am so pessimistic.

26 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

@SarahMc I can't seem to fight the hopelessness. No amount of challenging or self compassion or any srrategy is helping to shift this. It is so strong, and I am so pessimistic.

I think that overwhelming sense of despair hits us all at times, but I’m sorry it’s so stubborn for you 😢 It will lift! I’ve been in it for weeks at a time before, and just had to keep repeating to myself that it was temporary to get myself through, even though my brain refused to believe it.

One thing I would really strongly recommend is to avoid triggers like Reddit, or anything else that drags you further down into the pit. Try to focus on positive stories and other distractions that at least used to make you feel good, even if they don’t have the same effect right now. One day they will again 💜

5 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

Another very bad day. I wonder if it's the heat. I am bedbound, fatigued, can't move, I just feel heavy. Walking to the toilet requires too much effort. I haven't eaten. Very blurry vision with a completely dense head with no concentration amd few thoughts. No emotions, complete apathy that is absolutely tormenting. I want to die. I can't face the prospect of never enjoying a sunset again or being sparked by a topic and buying 6 books on it and reading them all in a matter of weeks. That's the person I was. I don't want life if I can never get that back.

I am still tormented by the negativity on other subs like Reddit. People who are like this for years with no feelings and apathy, with ongoing major symptoms and saying they got worse at 3 years off etc.

I'm not sure why I don't read those kinds of super negative Reddit stories here,. These kind of people weren't on SA either as far as I could see. Who are those people? Are they just so protracted they've given up on support groups? Do they like posting as a form of misery porn? It truly confuses me. Keen to hear your thoughts @Luke and @Chippy. I just find them so triggering and don't understand how their conversation on medication harm can be so much more pessimistic, and the cases so much more extreme. On the flip side, I have avoided a lot of the American withdrawal coaches and support groups too, because I find them almost the opposite. There is a vibe of toxic positivity about some that really puts me off, and a one size fits all approach, with lots of focus on activation style symptoms such as akathisia but little focussing on those who have apathy and blunting (which gets me hopeless too).

@Sminismoni

Honestly: NO REDDIT. One day I read a post from a guy who talked about his experience with ADs: "it was great," he said, that jerk. And I’ve read others, which don’t immediately come to mind. I suspect a lot of these "bots" to be ill-intentioned people, who maybe have never even taken any medication! Who can confirm this ? We don't know these people in real life! Caution is required. Critical thinking is definitely not an option (in general, but especially on this kind of site).

@Sminismoni i think Reddit is a garbage site when it comes to getting valid & useful

Information. I perused it once and decided not to waste my time. I wouldn’t trust anyone there when comes the stuff we all deal with here.

On 1/30/2026 at 4:53 AM, Sminismoni said:

The absolute worst part about my withdrawal journey for me is the emotional blunting, lack of interest, inability to feel joy, get excited or want to do anything. Most days I can't even cry, I'm an emotional robot. Music, nature, art, all things that used to make my life rich mean nothing now. I could see someone murdered in front of me and probably shrug my shoulders and walk away. I also often feel physically sluggish and weighed down. Add in vague derealisation a lot of the time, and I cannot voluntarily initiate tasks, or connect to them in any meaningful way, let alone people. There is no urgency to anything, no sense of time or a future. This, more than any physical symptom has ruined my life. Today I have relatively few physical symptoms but this emotional bit never goes away, there is no reprieve. I can't even "feel" supported by others, if that makes sense. This is the most difficult symptom to describe to others as well.

I relate to this sooooo much and I am also in the field. Though as a therapist but I’ve worked with psychiatrist for years to prescribe. I also have severe anhedonia and blurry vision, heavy days where I can barely walk to the bathroom also burning joints fragile body feels like I can barely

Walk I miss feeling embodied (sexy even) having fun feeling strong and goofy. Having sex doing yoga blissing out to food and music I can’t believe this is my reality.

I pray we heal

@SarahMc makes a good point. On forums like this and SA, people are obliged to post their medication histories, and they post about their story all in one place.

The PSSD forum, for example, is absolutely plagued by people doomposting and saying they've "had PSSD for X years" who have either spent those years going on and off of medications, or are even still taking them.

Likewise, I've been in various fb and whatsapp groups and over time I've come to learn that many of the most vocal posters are hiding parts of their drug history. These groups often had quieter members who posted intermittently who were slowly getting better over time.

We're pretty firm about posting drug histories in signatures, and being honest and open about it here. We put significant amounts of our time, effort and money into this site and helping people, and it still happens that we learn about new reinstatements or drugs having been thrown into the mix, having put lots of time and effort into trying to help someone understand why they've taken a downturn over weeks or months.

Are there people who suffer for a long time? Absolutely. Can these drugs cause severe harms? Again, yes. I would count myself among those. Still, It is slowly getting better.

At less than a year off of these drugs, there is so, so much precedent for improving and then recovering in time.

18 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

@SarahMc I can't seem to fight the hopelessness. No amount of challenging or self compassion or any srrategy is helping to shift this. It is so strong, and I am so pessimistic.

Im sorry @Sminismoni I think for some coping skills offer little support, the symptoms are too strong, this won't be this way forever, as you heal and thing become less acute you will be able to engage with coping skills more readily I'm sure of it. For the minute just surviving is enough x

19 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

Keen to hear your thoughts @Luke and @Chippy.

I have nothing to add that has not been said by others really. I don't spend time on reddit and consider it all a bit random and frankly the gutter of the internet! I don't and have not read success stories either. I don't relate with most people in WD tbh, I just accept my current position and look to the future, trusting my body to put it all right for me. Some days it is easier to believe than others.

The big point here to highlight is that people are generally terrible for hiding what they have been taking from us all, as Luke pointed out, on here we see those who worsen often have been drinking or taking other drugs, and that's fine, they owe us nothing realy we are just strangers on the internet after all, but it does colour the results when we look at thier cases for sure.

Ultimately you are a smart well educated individual who knows to not add to the mix with other drugs and substances, who is doing everything she can to provide a solid platform for healing, trust this is enough.

I found a really useful post on a video once that I think sums this up, if you have not read it already.

“There is a lot of different language in our community about being broken, being injured, being permanently damaged but there are multiple ways to look at this. I knew my withdrawal from psychotropic drugs as the most intense and severe disruption my nervous system has ever experienced.

So I suffered. And I suffered hard. And there were many days I had zero hope. I was miserable and just sort of put an invisible football helmet on my head, put my head down, and grinded out the time. I was in an invisible prison and didn’t know when the judge would let me out.

There is a magic place where surrender, radical acceptance, patience, distraction, and delusion meet. I was delusionally optimistic as if I had a psychic laser that would take me to healing. I did not want to entertain any other outcome. And would you look at that. All my “delusion” paid off and here I am on the other side, throwing a rope to you to show you how to do this.

And you won’t be perfect. All of this is messy. You will trip and fall and scrape your knees and beg God himself to rescue you from this hell and he won’t, and then you’ll curse his name. You will have hope one day and then not again for a month. And all of this is okay. Because you will heal despite kicking and screaming for it to be different.

So please - FOCUS ON HEALING - start doing healing practices, even if you feel they are not working - they are helping you pass the time and that means it is working - and it’s helping to rewire you so that when you’re done you will be wired and ready to rebuild your life.

So instead of viewing your nervous system as injured or damaged or permanently altered, focus on its healing capacity, that your DNA is wired for surviving and thriving, that you are in a healing crisis, that it is working REALLY HARD for you right now to repair itself. Shift your focus away from the scary stuff and towards healing and where you are headed. Healing is the outcome. Do not entertain anything else.”

On 6/26/2026 at 8:57 AM, Chippy said:

For the minute just surviving is enough

I think this is what a lot of the mindfulness, coping skills etc misses: if you're acutely suffering and it's not just anxiety, it takes everything just to survive.

If that's all you can do, that's all you can do. Try not to beat yourself up for not surviving "well".

Hey, How have you been @Sminismoni ?

Just checking on you.

Hopefully you been better and been learning how to deal with the symptoms better.

Another horrific night. 1 hour of sleep. Skin prickling all over, a churning washing machine feeling inside my body, nausea, confusion, joint pain and all while feeling wide awake like I've taken cocaine.

Tried weighted blanket - Nope

Tried stretching - Nope

Hot pack - No

Cold pack -No

Rocking to and fro - just made me dizzy

Tried some food - more nausea

And it's still going.....

Edited July 7Jul 7 by Sminismoni