On 5/26/2026 at 4:58 AM, Fullhealing said:

What Your Brain Is Doing in a Wave.

Some hope for all of us!

By Joanna • 25 May 2026

When you're in a wave, you might be having some of the worst symptoms you've ever felt in your life. And they might not even feel like symptoms. It might feel like this is the real you, and this is as good as it gets, and this is who you truly are, now that you're still tapering or off the meds.

You might be having thoughts like:

I'm so weak. Why can't I get anything done? I'm so lame. I can't even focus and accomplish a basic task. What is wrong with me? I must have some kind of disability. I'm non-functional. I'm a bad person.

You might be having really bad or negative memories, or distorted memories of things from the past. You might be feeling like this is all your fault, that you never should have been on the meds, that you got yourself into this situation. You might be looping hard on how you got here and how much pain you're in.

You might be thinking, I can't do anything right. I'm a hopeless mess. And you're circling around why, coming up with all kinds of stories about what is really wrong with you and how you're never going to get better.

These thoughts are not you. This is not you deciding to think negatively. This is what it's like to be in a wave. It can get so dark and so discouraging because there are all these negative automatic thoughts just popping into your head. You might even have suicidal ideation surfacing, or all kinds of severe, worst-case-scenario thinking, either about the past and really dark interpretations of it, or about the future and real catastrophizing.

It can feel severe. It can feel completely convincing. But those are thoughts that come from being in a withdrawal wave. They are a symptom of withdrawal.

What Your Brain Is Actually Doing

In withdrawal, your brain is running on very low rations of serotonin or dopamine. And from that depleted place, it's going to come up with ideas and stories about what happened and why you're feeling so bad. That's your brain trying to work through a healing process, trying to find reasons for your pain. In some ways it's your brain's natural response: I'm in pain. What did I do wrong that caused this? What can I fix?

So you're going to need to remind yourself again and again: this isn't because of something you did wrong. This isn't because you're permanently broken, or because your life is headed somewhere terrible. This is because you're coming off a psychiatric medication that your brain became dependent on, and your brain is having a hard time adjusting right now. It's a painful process. Your brain is figuring out how to regulate itself, bring its own chemistry back online, heal those receptors and nerve endings, and produce those chemicals on its own again.

In the middle of all that, your mind makes up stories. The true story is that this is a withdrawal process, a brain healing process, and the worst-case-scenario version of yourself isn't accurate. You are a lovely person. God made you. You are loved, you belong, you are needed, and you have gifts and talents and rich life experiences and a future. Those things are all true.

The Wave Clouds Your View

Right now, in the middle of a wave, those truths are going to feel very clouded. You might not be able to see them at all. But you will be able to see them again. They will be obvious to you again. You will heal.

What a Window Tells You

If you've had a window, a window is when those symptoms lift and you feel more yourself. You can focus more clearly, think more clearly, enjoy an activity. That's a window. That's a picture of the real you. And you are headed toward that.

The wave is not giving you an accurate picture of who you truly are, of how much hope there is, of all the good ahead of you in your relationships and your purpose and your gifts. Who you are at the core, even apart from what you can contribute, is a gift. And who you are is needed in this world. That is so much more than what you can see and feel in the middle of a wave.

Hold On

Hold on, because this is not all there is. There is so much good ahead, and not just good that you'll agree with mentally while still feeling awful. Good that you will truly experience and be persuaded of, fully, in your mind and your brain and your body and your life.

I was in such deep, dark, dark places that I couldn't even conceptualize how things could turn around. And yet they did. Sometimes you just have to hold on to what other people say who have been through it. Hold on to those evidences of healing: others have come through this horrible experience, and you can too. You can come out the other side feeling grounded and secure, feeling joy and laughter, re-engaging with life, not feeling like you're on the outside or alienated from ordinary life.

A lot of those experiences, the alienation from yourself, from your relationships, from everyday activities, are part of being in a wave or a hard withdrawal process. They will resolve as you heal. You will re-emerge from this.

This moment is not representative of how the rest of your life is going to go. There is so much more and so much better ahead.

❤️‍🩹 Joanna

Wow...thanks....this continues to give me hope...

Thinking of you, @Fullhealing ❤️❤️

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh no @SarahMc migraines are awful let alone in withdrawal /: maybe cold compresses might help?

I'll pray it goes away quickly, feel well soon xxx

Thanks @Fullhealing I used to get migraines maybe once a month before this, but now in withdrawal I have head pain most days, and at least once a week it becomes debilitating for about a day or so. So it’s just one of those lovely withdrawal symptoms for me!

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with the depression though, I find that’s one of the toughest symptoms when it strikes. Stay strong and know that your brain is lying to you. Once it lifts you’ll be able to see beauty in the world again ☀️🌷🕊️

Hey @Fullhealing just catching up on here and I’m sorry you’re still in the trenches today. Sending lots of love your way and hoping for an easier more peaceful day tomorrow for you. Xxx

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Thanks.. How long did the depression lasted? was it gone while waiting from the last cut to the current one or before? never in my life felt such depths.

I had it very bad my first four months, but not every day. Then. It was on and off for longer periods. It's probably being months now that I haven't gotten one..

Sending some morning love and hope @Fullhealing xxxx

8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sending some morning love and hope @Fullhealing xxxx

Still waiting for the intensity to drop, stubborn long grip this time, אוף... it will pass, we know..

Love back @Chippy hope your day is bright and easy 💜

17 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Still waiting for the intensity to drop, stubborn long grip this time, אוף... it will pass, we know..

Love back @Chippy hope your day is bright and easy 💜

Your strength is amazing Fullhealing, another closer 🛡️⚔️ xxxx

Update 15pm

A rough night passed, nightmares, sweats and many awakenings, woke up with a catastrophic mind that told me the most unlikely horror scenarios that felt and are still very real.

So exhausted from this hellish Wave/Akathisia that caught me completely ungurd, however I'm going to survive this! not letting this scrambled brain win..

Today btw took one capsule of 200 mg of magnesium glycinate after a very long time of putting all supplements aside, for now no benefit but no bad reaction either, I feel maybe a little floating/spiny but not that bad, I think I will give it a week to see if someone good happens, I know there are no miracles here but still a tiny relief would be such a blessing, will pray for it for sure.

Edited May 28May 28 by Fullhealing

54 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

not letting this scrambled brain win.

There's the key! Accepting your brain's wiring is a bit crossed up right now but that it can be put right. This wave will pass. Peace to you!

@Fullhealing So sorry for your suffering, it is beyond cruel . Your spirit shines through and what a strong spirit it is . This has got to let go soon ,its got to weaken its grip .Let's hope @Chippy is correct and there's lots of healing going on ...you certainly deserve it . Regardless of what I say ultimately you are the one suffering at the moment but I can say your spirit strength and courage is so strong you will come through this as a much better person ,you continue to walk the path where most would have fallen by the wayside ...I admire your resilience ,you should be proud of yourself . Keep going my friend you will reap the rewards ❤️🙏🤝🤝🤝🤝

Edited May 28May 28 by Beehive

1 hour ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing So sorry for your suffering, it is beyond cruel . Your spirit shines through and what a strong spirit it is . This has got to let go soon ,its got to weaken its grip .Let's hope @Chippy is correct and there's lots of healing going on ...you certainly deserve it . Regardless of what I say ultimately you are the one suffering at the moment but I can say your spirit strength and courage is so strong you will come through this as a much better person ,you continue to walk the path where most would have fallen by the wayside ...I admire your resilience ,you should be proud of yourself . Keep going my friend you will reap the rewards ❤️🙏🤝🤝🤝🤝

Thank you so much for the encouraging words @Beehive all goes back to you and to each and every one here who continues to fight bravley forward otherwise we wouldn't survive a second.

so grateful to you and the others here who are truly my source of strength and what keeps me going.

I really hope you are feeling a little better now, you deserve so much peace 🩷🩷

Edited May 28May 28 by Fullhealing

2 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

There's the key! Accepting your brain's wiring is a bit crossed up right now but that it can be put right. This wave will pass. Peace to you!

Thank you @mstimc60 but my god, this brain is hell of a toxic one in wd, I think most if not all of the exhaustion stems from being alert to it.. what a struggle it is!

Edited May 28May 28 by Fullhealing

The Lie the System Told You About Your Brain.

*We are not broken*

By Joanna • 11 May 2026

If you're in the thick of tapering, or you've finished and you're still suffering, and you're wondering whether you were ever really okay to begin with, I want to talk with you about that.

Maybe the thought goes something like this: I already had a diagnosis. I already had emotional issues before I started any of this. I might not be okay, ever. I want to speak directly to that, because it is just not true.

I know what it feels like to wonder that. I had multiple diagnoses. I had recurring emotional struggles. I was medicated for ten years and cycled through several different medications. So when I say I know what you mean when you ask, "What if I'm just someone who fundamentally needs meds?" I mean it how the system set us up

The psychiatric drug world developed hand-in-hand with the DSM. Diagnostic criteria expanded, more people qualified for diagnoses, and more people were then eligible for medication. Mental health care fell into a medicalized system, and that system has not produced more health and freedom. It has produced dependency, both on the diagnosis and on the drugs.

If you've watched films like Medicating Normal, or read about the serotonin myth, you'll recognize this pattern. These narratives helped promote medication and helped more people identify themselves as having a disorder that required one. The system is real, and you got caught in it.

None of these medications were really designed for long-term use, even though many people are encouraged by their prescribers to stay on them indefinitely. And when people do get off and feel symptoms, they're often told it's the return of their original illness, proof of a deficiency, proof they need to stay on the medication for life.

That's covering up the truth. What's actually happening is dependency. And in dependency, the substance eventually delivers less than it did before. You need more to get the same effect. The dependency deepens, and the suffering during withdrawal deepens with it.

The two-person study

If you take two people with the exact same mental health history, the exact same diagnosis, and put one on medication and one not, for about six weeks, the medicated person does better. Their chart goes up. The unmedicated person recovers more slowly.

But after that six-week mark, the chart flips. The medicated person's mental health declines in a rocky way. The unmedicated person levels out and stays more stable over time.

Many of us have lived that rocky decline, and we've interpreted it as proof that something is wrong with us, that our brains have a chemical imbalance. The irony is that being told you have a chemical imbalance, and taking a medication for it, is what puts you in a state of actual chemical imbalance, where you genuinely need that medication to feel okay.

What the symptoms prove

When you're in withdrawal and the fear and darkness are enormous, everything in you may be saying: This proves I have a disorder. This proves I'm deficient somehow. The truth is, all it proves is that you've been part of a system, and that you've become dependent on a prescribed drug.

It does not prove something persistent and lacking in you.

The thoughts and feelings can seem enormous in the moment. But there is healing, and there is freedom, and the resilience that is actually yours has been there all along. The medication has been hindering it.

The thought that you're uniquely unable to heal

Almost everyone I talk to thinks their situation is uniquely worse. That something about their taper, or their medication combination, or their history means they probably won't heal. That they're one of the few who are just stuck this way.

That is a symptom.

You're dealing with two things at once: the medical paradigm you've been taught, and the withdrawal symptoms themselves. Both tell you the same lie. So hold on to the evidence of people who have healed. I've come through it. I know now, in my bones, that it isn't true, that my brain can heal and restore without any medication. But I was brought to my knees over this. I was flat on my back in misery and agony, doubting everything.

Wherever you are in the process of doubt or fear, those are symptoms. You can ride through them.

A wider view of what it means to be human

There are so many ways to heal from the emotional struggles you had before you ever started medication. If you look through human history, before these diagnoses and these drugs existed, what people experienced would simply have been called suffering. Part of being human.

Sadness, grief, loss, fear, disappointment, trauma, family dysfunction. These are part of the package of being human, just as much as joy, hope, connection, and love. Our bodies and brains can weather those experiences. We can make meaning from them, grow through them, and deepen our relationships and our experience of life, of God, of other people, through those hard seasons.

Zoom out from the narrow view of diagnosis and deficiency, and into the broader view of what it means to be alive. Just as others have healed, your body can come through this.

This dependency is more similar to other dependencies than we sometimes realize. Many, many people heal from dependency on drugs, alcohol, and other substances and come through healthier. We didn't develop an addiction behavior, but we were prescribed a drug and became chemically dependent on it. The same healing is possible for us. We can come out the other side with real hope, and with something to offer others from it.

Something to hold onto

Don't think of this as all loss. Even my worst season of suffering I now treasure, because I can see how much I gained through it. You never know what's happening in you, even in the midst of the pain.

It will not always be this bad. There is so much good ahead. Hold on.

41 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you so much for the encouraging words @Beehive all goes back to you and to each and every one here who continues to fight bravley forward otherwise we wouldn't survive a second.

so grateful to you and the others here who are truly my source of strength and what keeps me going.

I really hope you are feeling a little better now, you deserve so much peace 🩷🩷

We are never far away and will always be here to pick you up when you don't have the strength, to comfort you when you need a hug, to encourage you when everything feels hopeless . Our strength is your strength ❤️🙏🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝

Quick update 9:00am

After a two-month delay my period finally arrived which must explains the excessive brutality! what's worse, peri or in withdrawal, either way both nasty vicious unpredictable beast which I would gladly skip if I could!

hopefully things now will take a slightly more bearable turn, we'll see.

Note: started magnesium yesterday, in the evening I already felt a little uplifted and attributed it to that but obviously it could be nothing but crazy hormones. I'll continue for another week and see how things moves.

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing I'm hoping also things will improve for you . Not a good mix peri and withdrawal!!! ❤️🙏

29 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing I'm hoping also things will improve for you . Not a good mix peri and withdrawal!!! ❤️🙏

Awful indeed 🥴 we females never gets it easy..

Thank you @Beehive very glad you are better atm 🩷

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing sounds like things might hopfully be at the start of settling down for you now!? As you said, you ladies certainly get the raw end of the deal in life IMO! Better days coming my friend! xxxx

19 minutes ago, Chippy said:

@Fullhealing sounds like things might hopfully be at the start of settling down for you now!? As you said, you ladies certainly get the raw end of the deal in life IMO! Better days coming my friend! xxxx

Trying not to set the bar too high but few sane days would be a great blessing indeed.

Hope you are doing well lovely @Chippy bright enjoyable day to you xxx

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

This sounds hopeful @Fullhealing. I have been worried about you.

I like the Joanna utubes you are posting. She is great and so hope giving.

You deserve some rest and peace now after your rough time 💛

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

This sounds hopeful @Fullhealing. I have been worried about you.

I like the Joanna utubes you are posting. She is great and so hope giving.

You deserve some rest and peace now after your rough time 💛

Bless you @Tracey thanks so much for caring, I'm getting better!

Keep being incredibly strong my friend, peaceful days will come just a little further ahead.

Big hug and rest well 🩷

Edited May 29May 29 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing

Checking in to see how you are doing. Hopefully these small signs are the beginning of the end of this nasty wave that have kept you in agony for so many days. A long peaceful window is on it way. That I sincerely hope.

May the days to come give you the most needed rest. Love and hugs xxx 🙏♥️

On 5/29/2026 at 1:07 AM, Fullhealing said:

Quick update 9:00am

After a two-month delay my period finally arrived which must explains the excessive brutality! what's worse, peri or in withdrawal, either way both nasty vicious unpredictable beast which I would gladly skip if I could!

hopefully things now will take a slightly more bearable turn, we'll see.

Note: started magnesium yesterday, in the evening I already felt a little uplifted and attributed it to that but obviously it could be nothing but crazy hormones. I'll continue for another week and see how things moves.

I hope you feel better again. Make sure to update your sign with the magnesium.

4 hours ago, Haa said:

@Fullhealing

Checking in to see how you are doing. Hopefully these small signs are the beginning of the end of this nasty wave that have kept you in agony for so many days. A long peaceful window is on it way. That I sincerely hope.

May the days to come give you the most needed rest. Love and hugs xxx 🙏♥️

Thank you dear @Haa short-lived unfortunately but my hormones are still very wild.. I'm keeping hope for it to clear up in the upcoming days.

I'll pop over to your thread to see how things are going for you, hope you're well 🩷

Edited May 30May 30 by Fullhealing