7 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

overall better than last week's brutality but still definitely needs improvement..

That's the key ... better than last week even though you still struggles. That's a sign of healing....keep going and move forward. You doing great..

@Fullhealing Im glad things are better this week than last but I do hope things settle some more for you. I know what it is like to have ageing pets, my cats were very tricky to deal with at the end, and the last one I still had at the start of this. He was fitting out of the blue and crying at the window all night and that was very hard to deal with at the time. Made harder by how much we love them too.

Hope today is easier and you can relax a bit more, a busy noisy work place doesn't sound like what I would like atm, you are doing great getting into work whilst suffering this torment.

Lots of love xxxx

@Fullhealing I know it's difficult, but you are doing very well to keep gritting your teeth and pushing through.

Around work and caring for your dog, are you able to dedicate some time to self-care, rest, doing something that helps you feel at ease, if possible?

It might help a bit, as you're always operating at high levels of effort just to keep going through this, and you both deserve and need some downtime and rest.

Hey @Fullhealing I’m so sorry to hear about your pup. Our older dog also struggles with incontinence and I know how hard it can feel to deal with when you’re in the middle of a wave.

Hope you’re continuing to improve today 💜

Lost for words atm, very brutal today but had to thank you for your lovely support @mstimc60 @Chippy @Raymond @Luke @SarahMc appreciate it a lot ❤️

24 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Lost for words atm, very brutal today but had to thank you for your lovely support @mstimc60 @Chippy @Raymond @Luke @SarahMc appreciate it a lot ❤️

You'll make it through, my friend. You know it'll pass sooner or later.

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Lost for words atm, very brutal today but had to thank you for your lovely support @mstimc60 @Chippy @Raymond @Luke @SarahMc appreciate it a lot ❤️

It will pass. Hang in there...you are doing great and amazing.

13 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Lost for words atm, very brutal today but had to thank you for your lovely support @mstimc60 @Chippy @Raymond @Luke @SarahMc appreciate it a lot ❤️

My heart goes out my friend! Hope this settles soon for you xxxx 🛡️⚔️

I am sorry you are dealing with the challenges of having an older pet. I am in the same boat. Being in wd waves makes it so much harder.

They are so special when they reach old age and you want to be there for them at full capacity, however being in wd makes it almost impossible. This journey seems so cruel.

Go easy on yourself and I hope things with your old friend settle a bit. Really feeling for you 😢😘xx

Update 12:30pm

Yesterday while getting ready for work out of nowhere was hit with a severe neck and shoulder pain that I could barely move, I was shocked as I had done nothing that could have caused it, I waited a bit hoping it would go away but it didn't so had to give up work and was glued to the couch most of the day.

In the evening I gave in to a painkiller that did absolutely nothing and a little later took my magnesium dose which also didn't help at all, the pain got worse and at night I rolled over in agony, when finally got up, I could barely lift my head and I'm still suffering.

Totally lost with what's happening, had such high hopes for magnesium but feels like my body is creaking and hurting even more but it might be a strong physical wave regardless right? I'll give it a few more days and see, in the meantime it's a couch day with minimal effort.

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

I am sorry you are dealing with the challenges of having an older pet. I am in the same boat. Being in wd waves makes it so much harder.

They are so special when they reach old age and you want to be there for them at full capacity, however being in wd makes it almost impossible. This journey seems so cruel.

Go easy on yourself and I hope things with your old friend settle a bit. Really feeling for you 😢😘xx

Indeed more cruel than anything we have ever been through, truly awful, I just want to hold and hug him tight like the rest of my animals and yet I am distant, angry and feel terribly guilty but it's so damn strong and beyond my control.

I am so sorry for your suffering @Tracey I know you feel me strongly, seems that everything life is throwing at us now just impossible but so many have succeeded so we will not be exceptional. we must keep the faith and continue to survive.

Sending you much strength, love and wishing you much easier days very soon 🩷

@Fullhealing I am very sorry to hear about your neck and shoulder pain. I am prone to such things (even years before meds or WD). Does any exercise or yoga help, if you are able to do it? (Just turning your head to the side, holding one hand on the upper-middle back and gently pulling your head down and to the side it is turned to. If you are going to do this - definitely find a video online as my instructions might be confusing.)

When this neck thing happens to me no meds help. I only noticed daily yoga/stretching helps/prevents it.

I hope you feel better soon. 🥺🙏🏻❤️

@Fullhealing I’m so sorry to hear about your physical pain. It seems the universe is throwing everything at you right now, but I know you’ll make it through. Do you have a heating pad at home? I find some nice heat on sore muscles can really help.

Hope you get some good cuddles from your pets today 💜

Appreciate the tips and kind words @Marina @SarahMc thank you!

I had something similar not long ago but unfortunately hot pillow, massage, stretching, anything I tried actually only made it worse so I'm afraid to try it now, my digestion has also been extra terrible the last two days with screaming tinnitus so it's likely chemicals going wild although it's impossible to know for sure anything in this process..

So sorry you're having such hard time as well, hell of a journey but we keep on moving forward with the hope for better moments, they will come 🙏🩷

21 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 12:30pm

Yesterday while getting ready for work out of nowhere was hit with a severe neck and shoulder pain that I could barely move, I was shocked as I had done nothing that could have caused it, I waited a bit hoping it would go away but it didn't so had to give up work and was glued to the couch most of the day.

In the evening I gave in to a painkiller that did absolutely nothing and a little later took my magnesium dose which also didn't help at all, the pain got worse and at night I rolled over in agony, when finally got up, I could barely lift my head and I'm still suffering.

Totally lost with what's happening, had such high hopes for magnesium but feels like my body is creaking and hurting even more but it might be a strong physical wave regardless right? I'll give it a few more days and see, in the meantime it's a couch day with minimal effort.

Im sorry to hear @Fullhealing this is literally the same as how my back goes! Out of the blue pretty much, it happens when I reach for something perhaps but nothing super heavy, last time it was a pillow on the floor!!!!! Then it's excruciating for a few days, waking in so much pain. It has happened twice now as you know and passed each time. WD related I have no doubt!

I mainly balanced between resting and moving it, not pushing it for sure. A hot shower seemed to help a little, but mainly time.

Hope it is a better this morning?

xxxx

4 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

it's truly unbelievable how fragile our bodies become in this process, isn't it? feels so old and creaky and we are definitely not there yet!!

100% I was just thinking this. If I told people about my back they would say it's just old age. Im 45!

5 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Today is a little better physically at least thank you for asking, the pain seems to be subsidinig which is a blessing but my brain feels completely fried, I'm struggling a lot to process things as well as to find words to write and even to have the simplest conversations.. I know it's part of this hell but it's brutal not to be able to communicate properly, I feel dumb.

Good it is a little better but far from where you need to be. Exhausting this process. You will get there built of strong stuff you are for sure!

5 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope you are relatively well atm dear, wishing you the easiest day possible xxxx

Been a another wavy week, not awful today but far from ideal. Like you, I'll get there.

Hope things ease some more really soon. xxxx

Hey @Fullhealing, just checking in on you. Hope your wave has let up a bit 💜

@Fullhealing

Just popping in to hear how you are doing. I haven’t been here for a while, but you know: “ Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know, that they are there”.

I hope things are beginning to settle down even just a bit. You so deserve it being so brave and still able to help others while you manage your own suffering.

Many loving thoughts your way. 🙏💕💕

PS. One of these days I make an update. I am still in the waiting line. Doing mostly ok, but I’ll wait to things have settle complete down before I start tapering again. Perhaps 0,5-1mg. Slow slow, as I got this horrible terror in november last year, and slowly started tapering, and had a setback. So slow slow in hope that this will make me stay stabil and just small waves.

Edited June 11Jun 11 by Haa

Update 12:20pm

Wish I had better news but it's still going very brutal, barley any good moments just surviving somehow between strong physical symptoms that are rotating, crazy emotional instability and brain fog that has become so extreme to the point of being unable to barley communicate in any way, as if my brain is struggling to find words that make sense which requires a huge effort to even put together a logical sentence, I constantly forget things, lose track of time and space, and have strange tics whenever I try unsuccessfully to process information! brain necrosis for lack of another word and one of the reasons I haven't updated recently, including being more active here.

Sorry for being so desperate, it's just keep getting worse and I barley recognize myself, I'm afraid of losing the very little that's left.

Is anyone experience this in that severit, is this awful lobotomy reversible?

Edited June 12Jun 12 by Fullhealing

13 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Hey @Fullhealing, just checking in on you. Hope your wave has let up a bit 💜

Thank you for checking in @SarahMc brutal still unfortunately.

I know you're struggling a lot too , so very sorry, better days will come for us hopefully soon 🩷

Edited June 12Jun 12 by Fullhealing

13 hours ago, Haa said:

@Fullhealing

Just popping in to hear how you are doing. I haven’t been here for a while, but you know: “ Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know, that they are there”.

I hope things are beginning to settle down even just a bit. You so deserve it being so brave and still able to help others while you manage your own suffering.

Many loving thoughts your way. 🙏💕💕

PS. One of these days I make an update. I am still in the waiting line. Doing mostly ok, but I’ll wait to things have settle complete down before I start tapering again. Perhaps 0,5-1mg. Slow slow, as I got this horrible terror in november last year, and slowly started tapering, and had a setback. So slow slow in hope that this will make me stay stabil and just small waves.

Thank you for the kind words @Haa so very happy to hear that you are relatively stable, you deserve it, you had a bumpy ride yourself so relief is such a blessing and yes, holding! with you there until I come to my senses, frustrating though but stability is the most important, no other way to survive this journey without relatively stable periods that give strength and hope to continue.

Hope you continue to be well, I will wait for your update 🩷

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 12:20pm

Wish I had better news but it's still going very brutal, barley any good moments just surviving somehow between strong physical symptoms that are rotating, crazy emotional instability and brain fog that has become so extreme to the point of being unable to barley communicate in any way, as if my brain is struggling to find words that make sense which requires a huge effort to even put together a logical sentence, I constantly forget things, lose track of time and space, and have strange tics whenever I try unsuccessfully to process information! brain necrosis for lack of another word and one of the reasons I haven't updated recently, including being more active here.

Sorry for being so desperate, it's just keep getting worse and I barley recognize myself, I'm afraid of losing the very little that's left.

Is anyone experience this in that severit, is this awful lobotomy reversible?

Sorry to hear about your struggles and it's definitely a hard journey, but at the end. You will succeed. Just continue holding and don't make changes. Things will come and feel better.

Those symptoms and feelings I have had them. They will go away eventually. My last 3 months are the best and longer time feeling more like me. But it took me 17 months on this journey and two holds of 7 and 6 months without making any changes. In the last two months, things improved and I have been stable as never before. I do still have ups and downs but nothing I cannot handle. They are mild and weaker.

You need to hold and continue be stronger. All will eventually pass and you will be the person you were or even a better person.

Hang in there my friend. Things will change for good ..one day at a time...

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you for checking in @SarahMc brutal still unfortunately.

I know you're struggling a lot too , so very sorry, better days will come for us hopefully soon 🩷

So sorry you’re still struggling, sending strength and healing your way 💜

My wave has actually let up quite a bit — I wouldn’t say I’m in a window, but the days are tolerable and I’m able to enjoy the nice weather we’re having out here. Relief will come for you too 😊

@Fullhealing I could not agree more. Holding is lifesaving, even though it is frustrating.

And thank you for your kind words.

🙏💕💕

17 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 12:20pm

Wish I had better news but it's still going very brutal, barley any good moments just surviving somehow between strong physical symptoms that are rotating, crazy emotional instability and brain fog that has become so extreme to the point of being unable to barley communicate in any way, as if my brain is struggling to find words that make sense which requires a huge effort to even put together a logical sentence, I constantly forget things, lose track of time and space, and have strange tics whenever I try unsuccessfully to process information! brain necrosis for lack of another word and one of the reasons I haven't updated recently, including being more active here.

Sorry for being so desperate, it's just keep getting worse and I barley recognize myself, I'm afraid of losing the very little that's left.

Is anyone experience this in that severit, is this awful lobotomy reversible?

Oh dear @Fullhealing , answering your last sentence with a big YES. I have such similar symptoms to you. It feels so desperate.

I can't be on here either as much as I would like which makes it feel more isolating.

We need to keep going but gee what a test of faith , endurance and not sure what else.

Lots of love xxx