What Your Brain Is Doing in a Wave.

Some hope for all of us!

By Joanna • 25 May 2026

When you're in a wave, you might be having some of the worst symptoms you've ever felt in your life. And they might not even feel like symptoms. It might feel like this is the real you, and this is as good as it gets, and this is who you truly are, now that you're still tapering or off the meds.

You might be having thoughts like:

I'm so weak. Why can't I get anything done? I'm so lame. I can't even focus and accomplish a basic task. What is wrong with me? I must have some kind of disability. I'm non-functional. I'm a bad person.

You might be having really bad or negative memories, or distorted memories of things from the past. You might be feeling like this is all your fault, that you never should have been on the meds, that you got yourself into this situation. You might be looping hard on how you got here and how much pain you're in.

You might be thinking, I can't do anything right. I'm a hopeless mess. And you're circling around why, coming up with all kinds of stories about what is really wrong with you and how you're never going to get better.

These thoughts are not you. This is not you deciding to think negatively. This is what it's like to be in a wave. It can get so dark and so discouraging because there are all these negative automatic thoughts just popping into your head. You might even have suicidal ideation surfacing, or all kinds of severe, worst-case-scenario thinking, either about the past and really dark interpretations of it, or about the future and real catastrophizing.

It can feel severe. It can feel completely convincing. But those are thoughts that come from being in a withdrawal wave. They are a symptom of withdrawal.

What Your Brain Is Actually Doing

In withdrawal, your brain is running on very low rations of serotonin or dopamine. And from that depleted place, it's going to come up with ideas and stories about what happened and why you're feeling so bad. That's your brain trying to work through a healing process, trying to find reasons for your pain. In some ways it's your brain's natural response: I'm in pain. What did I do wrong that caused this? What can I fix?

So you're going to need to remind yourself again and again: this isn't because of something you did wrong. This isn't because you're permanently broken, or because your life is headed somewhere terrible. This is because you're coming off a psychiatric medication that your brain became dependent on, and your brain is having a hard time adjusting right now. It's a painful process. Your brain is figuring out how to regulate itself, bring its own chemistry back online, heal those receptors and nerve endings, and produce those chemicals on its own again.

In the middle of all that, your mind makes up stories. The true story is that this is a withdrawal process, a brain healing process, and the worst-case-scenario version of yourself isn't accurate. You are a lovely person. God made you. You are loved, you belong, you are needed, and you have gifts and talents and rich life experiences and a future. Those things are all true.

The Wave Clouds Your View

Right now, in the middle of a wave, those truths are going to feel very clouded. You might not be able to see them at all. But you will be able to see them again. They will be obvious to you again. You will heal.

What a Window Tells You

If you've had a window, a window is when those symptoms lift and you feel more yourself. You can focus more clearly, think more clearly, enjoy an activity. That's a window. That's a picture of the real you. And you are headed toward that.

The wave is not giving you an accurate picture of who you truly are, of how much hope there is, of all the good ahead of you in your relationships and your purpose and your gifts. Who you are at the core, even apart from what you can contribute, is a gift. And who you are is needed in this world. That is so much more than what you can see and feel in the middle of a wave.

Hold On

Hold on, because this is not all there is. There is so much good ahead, and not just good that you'll agree with mentally while still feeling awful. Good that you will truly experience and be persuaded of, fully, in your mind and your brain and your body and your life.

I was in such deep, dark, dark places that I couldn't even conceptualize how things could turn around. And yet they did. Sometimes you just have to hold on to what other people say who have been through it. Hold on to those evidences of healing: others have come through this horrible experience, and you can too. You can come out the other side feeling grounded and secure, feeling joy and laughter, re-engaging with life, not feeling like you're on the outside or alienated from ordinary life.

A lot of those experiences, the alienation from yourself, from your relationships, from everyday activities, are part of being in a wave or a hard withdrawal process. They will resolve as you heal. You will re-emerge from this.

This moment is not representative of how the rest of your life is going to go. There is so much more and so much better ahead.

❤️‍🩹 Joanna

Edited May 26May 26 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 11:30am

The last few days have been unbearable, the level of fear/catastrophe, depression plummets to 200, no quiet and safe spot, feels like I am chained to abyss with a living flame everywhere that burns every single cell and there's nowhere to run, no doubt that I slipped into Akathisia, this restlessness is madness! even though my entire system is activated I am unable to do almost anything, feeling of frozen with barley managing the basics let alone work, complete helplessness and not something that counter thoughts can calm.

Physical symptoms: terrible digestion, extra swollen stomach with sharp pains that come and go, excessive fatigue/exhaustion with awful sleep, constant tinnitus whose intensity varies, stiffness and muscle pain that circulates throughout the body.

Mental: Inability to concentrate and put words into coherent sentences, forgetfulness, loss sense of time and place that comes and goes, inability to tolerate noise and light, excessive anger, fear/terror/catastrophe, depression/crying/doom, complete lack of motivation.

In short - HELL.

Although I know there is no linearity here, I am still consumed by doubts, I thought that by now I would have found some kind of balance from the last cut of 2.2% but looks like I'm only sinking deeper with almost no relief at all so of course there is no further reduction until there is significant and long-term improvement.

In the meantime, trying my best not to give complete autonomy to the chemically infected, wild and crazy mind, which is going pretty badly so far.

Praying for easier moments.

You just described my living nightmare @Fullhealing . Akathisia is hell on earth. I am so sorry you are suffering so much.

Easier moments will come, if has to pass eventually.

Sending lots and lots of love. 💛

Oh no, I hope and pray that you can leave this abyss soon. My heart breaks to read about your suffering. You’re not alone @Fullhealing and healing will come.

Great text by Joanna. Thanks for posting it.

@Fullhealing I am so sorry to read this. I hope it passes for you soon. 🥺🙏🏻❤️

This morning I also woke up feeling awful... I think it's this heat that's making my body feel worse - tingling, burning, painful... It did feel like akathisia the first hour. I tried to do my daily walk but turned around and went back home. I never did that since this started. But I felt too terrible. When I got home I got into the empty bathtub, lights turned off in the bathroom. It feels cool and calming. I think this is my safe space now. We're surviving however we can.

Stay strong! 🙏🏻❤️ It must pass!

Bless you @Tracey @Nemina @Marina thank you so much!

I hate that we all share this inhuman suffering, truly breaks my heart! we just have to keep surviving, that's all for now.

Hugs 🩷🩷

Edited May 26May 26 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing

All my love and wellwishing.

No need to answer. Hugs xxx

1 hour ago, Haa said:

@Fullhealing

All my love and wellwishing.

No need to answer. Hugs xxx

Had to, so kind @Haa thank you.

hope you are doing well atm, much love back xxx

Edited May 26May 26 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing It breaks my heart to read your update ...no one deserves the pain you are suffering, you never asked for this, it is beyond cruel . It feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from . If I could take it away from you I would . You've endured so much on your journey and helped others on theirs .Why does this happen to the nicest people ,the least deserving of this cruelty . The way you are feeling now it may not mean much but I assure you this will turn it will let go hold on for dear life and just get through each minute as painful as it is. It feels impossible but I know your spirit is strong ,I know you won't give in ,I know you will get through this .We are all with you sending our love and healing wishes to you .We are with you in spirit and are praying for you .Believe in your strength ,Believe in your bodies healing powers ,Believe you will get through this ...you are not alone ❤️🙏🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝❤️

45 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing It breaks my heart to read your update ...no one deserves the pain you are suffering, you never asked for this, it is beyond cruel . It feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from . If I could take it away from you I would . You've endured so much on your journey and helped others on theirs .Why does this happen to the nicest people ,the least deserving of this cruelty . The way you are feeling now it may not mean much but I assure you this will turn it will let go hold on for dear life and just get through each minute as painful as it is. It feels impossible but I know your spirit is strong ,I know you won't give in ,I know you will get through this .We are all with you sending our love and healing wishes to you .We are with you in spirit and are praying for you .Believe in your strength ,Believe in your bodies healing powers ,Believe you will get through this ...you are not alone ❤️🙏🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝❤️

Truly one of the cruelest days I had or I remember anyway, was already in the making the last few days but today was the boiling point, which still very much present..

just hope it ends soon.

So glad you are doing well today and managed to catch up on sleep, amazing what a long, good sleep does for us, may it only continue @Beehive and thank you so much for the supportive words, so very kind of you ❤️

@Fullhealing Let's hope the boiling point is its peak . I hope with all my heart it turns into a simmer 🙏❤️

8 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Truly one of the cruelest days I had or I remember anyway, was already in the making the last few days but today was the boiling point, which still very much present..

just hope it ends soon.

Waves are brutal but they do end. Sending positive thoughts your way my friend!

16 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Waves are brutal but they do end. Sending positive thoughts your way my friend!

Thank you @mstimc60 will do my best to catch them! xx

Edited May 26May 26 by Fullhealing

Update 9:30am

Still wrapped in yesterday's brutality and the long rage that popped up out of nowhere shortly after the update that scared the hell out of me and left a very bitter taste.

Woke up this morning with cortisol mixed with depression, looping awful thoughts along with restlessness and muscle pain all over my upper body.

Not sure I'll be able to work today, on Sunday I still managed to drag myself but the brain fog was so intense mixed with anxiety and abysmal depression that I left super early, since I've been stuck at home which fueling the situation but the ability to cope at a minus level.. cruel trap, can't win here.

Hope to see a sign of improvement soon, 34 days since my last cut and things are getting worse but I must keep hope alive, it will fade, nothing stays permanent.

So sorry to hear this @Fullhealing. You’re so strong, I know you will get through this. I’ll be thinking of you 💜

@Fullhealing I wish I could respond properly but I'm.not in a great place at the moment....so sorry for your suffering, you will definitely come through this ❤️

1 hour ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing I wish I could respond properly but I'm.not in a great place at the moment....so sorry for your suffering, you will definitely come through this ❤️

Oh @Beehive I already saw in your thread that you are not feeling well, so sorry! awful moments that feel so eternal but we know it's temporary.

Hold on, keep being so strong and brave, it'll be over soon

Hugs 🩷

2 hours ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing I wish I could respond properly but I'm.not in a great place at the moment....so sorry for your suffering, you will definitely come through this ❤️

@Beehive ..sorry about your struggles. I keep you in my prayers and hope for a long window soon ..

Hanging there. We are here for you. Others a have made it out, so we will too....

6 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

looping awful thoughts along with restlessness and muscle pain all over my upper body.

Sorry to hear this. With the exception of depression sensation, I get all others. The depression sensation is being gone for months now....

Hanging in there ..

Praying for you, friend. Sometimes it feels like all we can do is just get through the day. It’s not pretty or fun. Swear I’ve lost track of months overall, like a zombie, can’t even remember.. but my body needed that time, however slow it is.

3 hours ago, SarahMc said:

So sorry to hear this @Fullhealing. You’re so strong, I know you will get through this. I’ll be thinking of you 💜

Thank you @SarahMc so kind 🩷 hope you are well 🙏

16 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

Praying for you, friend. Sometimes it feels like all we can do is just get through the day. It’s not pretty or fun. Swear I’ve lost track of months overall, like a zombie, can’t even remember.. but my body needed that time, however slow it is.

Right @LunaLove96 as long as it takes, we can't rush it unfortunately..

Hope you'll find relief very soon, such a brutal journey but we are only moving forward.

Love and healing your way xxx

24 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Right @LunaLove96 as long as it takes, we can't rush it unfortunately..

Sometimes, we shouldn't expect more of ourselves than we're able to give at certain times. Even people who aren't in WD need a rest. Its good you know there's no point in pushing yourself to follow an arbitrary timeline. Slow and steady is the key!

56 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you @SarahMc so kind 🩷 hope you are well 🙏

Thanks @Fullhealing, dealing with a migraine today and mostly sitting on my couch in my sweatpants, but I've been worse. We will make it 💜

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

Sorry to hear this. With the exception of depression sensation, I get all others. The depression sensation is being gone for months now....

Hanging in there ..

Thanks.. How long did the depression lasted? was it gone while waiting from the last cut to the current one or before? never in my life felt such depths.

15 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

Thanks @Fullhealing, dealing with a migraine today and mostly sitting on my couch in my sweatpants, but I've been worse. We will make it 💜

Oh no @SarahMc migraines are awful let alone in withdrawal /: maybe cold compresses might help?

I'll pray it goes away quickly, feel well soon xxx