2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Good to hear you're doing better today!

Thanks God, I feel much better with minor issues....

 

I hope you do better too....

On 2/6/2026 at 6:06 PM, Raymond said:

Morning update....

 

As usual, I get better after 10am.

 

By the way, I also lost napping times few weeks now...

 

Overall, I can handle things after 10am.  5am to 10am are my struggles in the last three days or few days....

I have the same pattern Raymond. Some days it is 10am, some days 11am or 12pm. But things ease "relatively" in the afternoon evening. Some weeks I can almost set my watch and feel a switch in my brain when the worst bit winds down.

1 hour ago, Sminismoni said:

I have the same pattern Raymond. Some days it is 10am, some days 11am or 12pm. But things ease "relatively" in the afternoon evening. Some weeks I can almost set my watch and feel a switch in my brain when the worst bit winds down.

Yes, the only explanation about feeling better is due to the cortisol going down after the afternoon hours...

 

But I'm glad that this is not all day long now...

I am so happy for you, Raymond. This cortisol is a real killer...

Svetla

2 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

I have the same pattern Raymond. Some days it is 10am, some days 11am or 12pm. But things ease "relatively" in the afternoon evening. Some weeks I can almost set my watch and feel a switch in my brain when the worst bit winds down.

Yes, the only explanation about feeling better is due to the cortisol going down after the afternoon hours...

 

But I'm glad that this is not all day long now...

I just got my book "Crossing Zero" the art and science of coming off and staying off psychiatric drugs by Dr. Anderson Sorensen....he also went through withdrawal.  

I’m going to purchase a copy soon! Ooo, I have a feeling it’s going to be a really good read and will explain so much. Yay!

I have had cortisol spikes too, but since working on my adrenals, it hasn’t been as bad. Some of what I do is supplements that are through Standard Process. I’m muscle tested with a functional chiropractor to make sure that they are good for me. The last one that I was on helped my HPA-axis (hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal– axis), it was called hypothalamus PMG. And I have done other things related to the adrenals, especially with vitamin C. The adrenals really need food-based vitamin C (acerola berry) to support it functioning well. So this is just a thought on how to help – it might not work for everyone. This is my journey I’m speaking on. 

Edited February 7Feb 7 by namastejen1

1 hour ago, namastejen1 said:

I’m going to purchase a copy soon! Ooo, I have a feeling it’s going to be a really good read and will explain so much. Yay!

I have had cortisol spikes too, but since working on my adrenals, it hasn’t been as bad. Some of what I do is supplements that are through Standard Process. I’m muscle tested with a functional chiropractor to make sure that they are good for me. The last one that I was on helped my HPA-axis (hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal– axis), it was called hypothalamus PMG. And I have done other things related to the adrenals, especially with vitamin C. The adrenals really need food-based vitamin C (acerola berry) to support it functioning well. So this is just a thought on how to help – it might not work for everyone. This is my journey I’m speaking on. 

So far, the book is another great tool to have with many details and explanations on withdrawal, Tapering, etc and the science how body works...

I won't complain today.  After 14 months on this journey, tonight was my first time that I went to the movie theater at night with my wife and daughters.   Boys stayed home....

 

Felt great.....

14 minutes ago, Raymond said:

I won't complain today.  After 14 months on this journey, tonight was my first time that I went to the movie theater at night with my wife and daughters.   Boys stayed home....

 

Felt great.....

So happy Raymon! Good news indeed!  🥤 🍿 🎥 

9 minutes ago, Chippy said:

So happy Raymon! Good news indeed!  🥤 🍿 🎥 

Joining! wonderful to hear Raymond 👏

Edited February 8Feb 8 by Fullhealing

I am so happy for you, @Raymond.

Svetla

02/08/2025- recovery process, 

 

Had a good time all day yesterday.  I went to movie theater at night for the first time in 14 months with wife and daughters.   I couldn't go at night due to this journey that I needed to go bed early since I was always waking up at 5am no matter what.  

 

At month 13, my sleeping improved another 30 minutes from 530am to 600am so far.  Once the time changes, I should be waking up at 7am.  I had to move my dose time as well, so I can try to sleep more.

 

Last night, I went to sleep around midnight and I woke up at 6am due to my alarm for my dose.  I had few dreams and woke up multiple times too.   I couldn't sleep more after 6am, but I was able to just stay in bed , eyes closed, and listen to few church podcasts while just relaxing....

 

Morning, I feel like I don't want to do anything, tired, mind relax but body little anxious...  This is usually my mornings until I start getting energy in the afternoon hours ..

 

My goal today is to go fishing for a little bit, then possibly BBQ while read the book of crossing zero by dr. Anders Sorensen....

 

I continue holding at 4.79mg (.0716g) until I feel more manageable symptoms.  

 

My muscles stiffness and pain seems to improve.  It's on and off after 2 months.  

 

Going for a long morning walk, the weather in Texas is heating up, great sunny day....

 

I just entered month 14 on this journey....let see what February brings me...

 

Let's keep improving.  I believe I'm stable enough but I don't feel my body wants to cut another small percentage yet.... listen to the body is very important...

 

In the name of Jesus, we will all heal from this.   Many in worst situations have healed, so do we.....keep prayer for strength and hope in the miracle....

Edited February 8Feb 8 by Raymond
Adding comments

02/09/2026- cortisol up and down recovery process...

 

Last night, I went to sleep earlier.  I think it was like 930 pm.  My day was good but little off.  I was able to do few things around the house again feeling good but at the same time little off.

 

During the night, I woke up few times again with intrusive thoughts and head pressure, but was able to fall asleep again.  Think I woke up like every two hours, plus my son's cat was annoying last night too.

 

I feel like I want to continue sleeping but I just can't fall asleep again.  However, I have to get ready to work.  I'm just laying down listening to Gregorian it chant music.

 

No fear sensation

Little bit hot

No anxious symptoms 

Muscle stiffness moved to right arm to but not intense.

 

Feelingan blah as every morning...

 

Holding my dose until mornings gets better and cortisol get fixed again.  It's getting there slowly...

 

 

02/10/2026- cortisol, morning hours recovery process....

 

Yesterday was a good day for me.  My day went by very quickly.  So, it means that I didn't think much about withdrawal.  I was able to concentrate at work.  

 

I also noticed that I did not get work anxiety and specially those fear sensations to talk with my boss, or receiving emails.  So far, it's being fine.  

 

My muscles stiffness is a lot less as well.  I sometimes just feel like needles pinching me in different areas of my body and specially my arms.

 

I did have the left side headache in the late afternoon, but it only lasted like an hour before it faded away.  I went for a long walk.  I was able to clean my house again with the feeling of anxiety or anxious sensation.  I still did not feel enjoyment, but I was calmer.

 

Also, I was able to work from my hammock.  I like to work outside to feel comfortable and listen to those birds on my tree that have returned for spring...the weather has warm, sunny, windy and just beautiful to spend all day outside...

 

This morning, I woke up again at 550am.  Month 13 brought me longer sleeps and waking up with less cortisol.  Although it changes on a daily basis, but I am not getting anxiety, burning sensation or feeling hot.  Im mostly getting headache pressure due to intrusive thoughts, but it goes away after I open my eyes.

 

I feel like staying longer in bed, but I have to get ready to work.  

 

I just entered month 14 and I'm hoping to see more improvement before I continue my Tapering process again.

 

I think I'm waiting to feel more normal in the morning even though I feel positive and motivated again, I am still not there yet.

 

There are things that I started to do again even though I still don't feel enjoyment.  

 

If I compare my last two months from my last 12 months, I have seeing slightly improvement and specially sleeping patterns.  Once the clock changes in the USA again to one hour ahead, I should be waking up at 7am for the first time in 14 months on this journey.

 

I need to start reading the book "Crossing Zero" by dr. Anderson Sorensen, but I haven't because I lost the reading enjoyment part of me.  It's up and down.  For instance, one day I might feel like reading but next day I just loose it.  Same goes with other activities I like to do.

 

Overall, this morning feels better and I feel tired but I have to wake up to work.

 

I'm glad that I'm working from home.  This is a blessing...

 

Im the name of Jesus, we will all heal from this...time, patience, and acceptance.

 

I also believe that even in reinstament, the body can full recover but takes few years.  I have read people who fully recovered while reinstated minimal before they were able to taper off, but they had patience and waited long before Tapering again and smoother ride going down...this is my goal.  I hope my desperation to get rid of this medicine doesn't control me.  I want to live while feeling good and Tapering at the same time...

 

Let's support each other and move forward... 

13 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/10/2026- cortisol, morning hours recovery process....

 

Yesterday was a good day for me.  My day went by very quickly.  So, it means that I didn't think much about withdrawal.  I was able to concentrate at work.  

 

I also noticed that I did not get work anxiety and specially those fear sensations to talk with my boss, or receiving emails.  So far, it's being fine.  

 

My muscles stiffness is a lot less as well.  I sometimes just feel like needles pinching me in different areas of my body and specially my arms.

 

I did have the left side headache in the late afternoon, but it only lasted like an hour before it faded away.  I went for a long walk.  I was able to clean my house again with the feeling of anxiety or anxious sensation.  I still did not feel enjoyment, but I was calmer.

 

Also, I was able to work from my hammock.  I like to work outside to feel comfortable and listen to those birds on my tree that have returned for spring...the weather has warm, sunny, windy and just beautiful to spend all day outside...

 

This morning, I woke up again at 550am.  Month 13 brought me longer sleeps and waking up with less cortisol.  Although it changes on a daily basis, but I am not getting anxiety, burning sensation or feeling hot.  Im mostly getting headache pressure due to intrusive thoughts, but it goes away after I open my eyes.

 

I feel like staying longer in bed, but I have to get ready to work.  

 

I just entered month 14 and I'm hoping to see more improvement before I continue my Tapering process again.

 

I think I'm waiting to feel more normal in the morning even though I feel positive and motivated again, I am still not there yet.

 

There are things that I started to do again even though I still don't feel enjoyment.  

 

If I compare my last two months from my last 12 months, I have seeing slightly improvement and specially sleeping patterns.  Once the clock changes in the USA again to one hour ahead, I should be waking up at 7am for the first time in 14 months on this journey.

 

I need to start reading the book "Crossing Zero" by dr. Anderson Sorensen, but I haven't because I lost the reading enjoyment part of me.  It's up and down.  For instance, one day I might feel like reading but next day I just loose it.  Same goes with other activities I like to do.

 

Overall, this morning feels better and I feel tired but I have to wake up to work.

 

I'm glad that I'm working from home.  This is a blessing...

 

Im the name of Jesus, we will all heal from this...time, patience, and acceptance.

 

I also believe that even in reinstament, the body can full recover but takes few years.  I have read people who fully recovered while reinstated minimal before they were able to taper off, but they had patience and waited long before Tapering again and smoother ride going down...this is my goal.  I hope my desperation to get rid of this medicine doesn't control me.  I want to live while feeling good and Tapering at the same time...

 

Let's support each other and move forward... 

Uoda

Playing catch up! I’m so happy for you about going to the movies with your family. It’s a great window moment to share. Blessed be the Lord ✝️

 

02/11/2026- recovery process..

 

Yesterday was a great day.  I even went to the movies with my wife only.  It's being a long time that I wasn't able to go with her only.  I had a great time.  I felt like good feelings are coming back slowly.  

 

I did have the left side headache again in the evening.  But, I'm trying to ignore every symptom at this point.

 

This morning I woke up earlier than expected again with the intrusive thoughts and head pressure.  Most symptoms were job related which it is ridiculous but at least so far it's not creating panic....

 

I will see how day goes by.  Also muscle stiffness and pain a lot better.  Im getting more like nerve pain in few parts of body and specially on my upper left arm, neck area.

 

Let see if my day goes by quickly.  I can't wait for time to really passes by.

 

14 months on this journey and still holding my Tapering until cortisol gets better and few other symptoms fades away and for longer time...

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal from this...

51 minutes ago, Raymond said:

02/11/2026- recovery process..

 

Yesterday was a great day.  I even went to the movies with my wife only.  It's being a long time that I wasn't able to go with her only.  I had a great time.  I felt like good feelings are coming back slowly.  

 

I did have the left side headache again in the evening.  But, I'm trying to ignore every symptom at this point.

 

This morning I woke up earlier than expected again with the intrusive thoughts and head pressure.  Most symptoms were job related which it is ridiculous but at least so far it's not creating panic....

 

I will see how day goes by.  Also muscle stiffness and pain a lot better.  Im getting more like nerve pain in few parts of body and specially on my upper left arm, neck area.

 

Let see if my day goes by quickly.  I can't wait for time to really passes by.

 

14 months on this journey and still holding my Tapering until cortisol gets better and few other symptoms fades away and for longer time...

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal from this...

Great stuff Raymond! Very glad for you.

Edited February 11Feb 11 by Fullhealing

16 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Great stuff Raymond! Very glad for you.

Thanks ..but today it's one of those blah mornings.   Unbelievable what we have to deal with and how slow this process of recovery is ...

 

Im still little sensitive to stress, but I'm getting slowly improving.   

 

How are you doing so far?

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/11/2026- recovery process..

 

Yesterday was a great day.  I even went to the movies with my wife only.  It's being a long time that I wasn't able to go with her only.  I had a great time.  I felt like good feelings are coming back slowly.  

 

I did have the left side headache again in the evening.  But, I'm trying to ignore every symptom at this point.

 

This morning I woke up earlier than expected again with the intrusive thoughts and head pressure.  Most symptoms were job related which it is ridiculous but at least so far it's not creating panic....

 

I will see how day goes by.  Also muscle stiffness and pain a lot better.  Im getting more like nerve pain in few parts of body and specially on my upper left arm, neck area.

 

Let see if my day goes by quickly.  I can't wait for time to really passes by.

 

14 months on this journey and still holding my Tapering until cortisol gets better and few other symptoms fades away and for longer time...

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal from this...

Morning update....

Anxious about work, chest anxiety....

 

Unbelievable what we go through.  In a normal CNS, I will be fine....

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

Thanks ..but today it's one of those blah mornings.   Unbelievable what we have to deal with and how slow this process of recovery is ...

 

Im still little sensitive to stress, but I'm getting slowly improving.   

 

How are you doing so far?

Sorry Raymond, such a crooked path isn't it.. but I have to commend you, really, you have a lot on your plate, lots of responsibilities, much more than mine and yet you are coping so well!

As for you, I've seen much better days, one of the hardest today but this too shall pass.. thanks for asking.

12 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Sorry Raymond, such a crooked path isn't it.. but I have to commend you, really, you have a lot on your plate, lots of responsibilities, much more than mine and yet you are coping so well!

As for you, I've seen much better days, one of the hardest today but this too shall pass.. thanks for asking.

100%

 

@Raymond we re all there with you. Not a straight line the path out of here is it!

02/12/2026- recovery process..

 

It's being good so far.  I have had few days that I wake up earlier than usual, but I also fall asleep again and little longer.

 

I have energy, motivation, and my mornings are little blah feeling but better.

 

My muscles stiffness kind of change to nerve pain on and off and manageable.

 

I continue holding my dose.  I really don't know when to do another cut.  I'm at .0716g and in the next month or so, I'm considering to go to .0714g just to try and see how my system will react.  

 

I will see how I feel this month before thinking about it for following month...

 

My goal eventually is to cut no more than 3 to 5%

 

The longer I hold, the better my Tapering will be ..

 

Patience, patience, and more patience...

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/12/2026- recovery process..

 

It's being good so far.  I have had few days that I wake up earlier than usual, but I also fall asleep again and little longer.

 

I have energy, motivation, and my mornings are little blah feeling but better.

 

My muscles stiffness kind of change to nerve pain on and off and manageable.

 

I continue holding my dose.  I really don't know when to do another cut.  I'm at .0716g and in the next month or so, I'm considering to go to .0714g just to try and see how my system will react.  

 

I will see how I feel this month before thinking about it for following month...

 

My goal eventually is to cut no more than 3 to 5%

 

The longer I hold, the better my Tapering will be ..

 

Patience, patience, and more patience...

Morning update....

 

Time passing by quickly, so I must feel good ...

 

Also I have noticed that lately, I have not think about withdrawal as I used too.  I just do normal things and just don't pay to much attention about my symptoms.   I don't know if this is also due to CNS stabilizing more.

 

Also, my desire to listen to music again came back again.  

 

Also, since I was a child, I loved to do many long hot bath.  It is something I have enjoyed since I was 5:years old.  I literally spent two hours just in a hot bath tub relaxing.   This is something I have enjoyed all my life.  However, when I got into this journey, I lost that feeling for this entire 14 months.  Yesterday, I woke up feeling the desire to do a hot bath again.  This morning, I experienced same thing.  I was wow, I lost it all this time and it just came back ..

 

Definitely, despite all the ups and down, I having the old me coming back slowly.....

 

Keep moving forward.....push the devil out in the name of Jesus...

Edited February 12Feb 12 by Raymond
Adding comments