16 minutes ago, Haa said:

@Raymond I admire your way at turning what you have experienced today to “more healing” …. 

Thank you for sharing. It’s easy to say: “this too will pass”, much harder to believe it when the wave is rolling. 
You seems so strong and extremely patient. 🙏💕

Thank you...I was trying to make sense on this wave, and I just realized that when stomach is bad, I get all other symptoms.  I guess nerve vague connection...

 

Now, I'm just bloated but it seems anxiety is slowing a little bit and I almost felt to sleep for a nap.  I lost napping too...

 

I'm hoping this wave is shorter.   The last time I had gut issues were like four months ago and it literally fixed quickly.  First time, it last me 5months.  Then, it gradually improved on Windows and wave until gone for weeks and then for months.  Unfortunately, it came back on Tuesday and today looks like high peak....

 

Ginger tea and chicken soup...

02)28/2026- 🤒 two days in a row waking up 230am with cortisol issues, intrusive thoughts, head pressure and anxiety.....on and off.

 

Well, yesterday was a little better than previous day, but not much of a difference. In the afternoon,I started to feel little better.

 

Today, I woke up at 230am.  I got this head pressure, head anxiety, and intrusive thoughts that just woke me up.  I tried changing thoughts, and every time, I closed my eyes, same symptoms will showed up.  I thought I was doing great, but I feel like my progress is just backwards...

 

Here I am in bed trying to sleep a little more, but I just can't...for real.....why this came back????? Two days now, sleeping just few hours...like 4 hours only.... 

 

At month 12, I saw improvement and slept longer, now end of month 14, I'm back to four hours and back to job stress issues...

 

Frustrating, but trying to move on...I'm glad I'm leaving early from work and a long weekend for me ...I hope things resolved soon...

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

02)28/2026- 🤒 two days in a row waking up 230am with cortisol issues, intrusive thoughts, head pressure and anxiety.....on and off.

 

Well, yesterday was a little better than previous day, but not much of a difference. In the afternoon,I started to feel little better.

 

Today, I woke up at 230am.  I got this head pressure, head anxiety, and intrusive thoughts that just woke me up.  I tried changing thoughts, and every time, I closed my eyes, same symptoms will showed up.  I thought I was doing great, but I feel like my progress is just backwards...

 

Here I am in bed trying to sleep a little more, but I just can't...for real.....why this came back????? Two days now, sleeping just few hours...like 4 hours only.... 

 

At month 12, I saw improvement and slept longer, now end of month 14, I'm back to four hours and back to job stress issues...

 

Frustrating, but trying to move on...I'm glad I'm leaving early from work and a long weekend for me ...I hope things resolved soon...

It seems we set our clocks to almost the same time 😵‍💫 and seriously, I'm truly sorry Raymond, it may feel like regression but it's not, you're still making amazing progress, this is a crappy bump in the road you're going to get over.

Hang in there, you are strong!

wishing you a great relief very soon.

Just now, Fullhealing said:

It seems we set our clocks to almost the same time 😵‍💫 and seriously, I'm truly sorry Raymond, it may feel like regression but it's not, you're still making amazing progress, this is a crappy bump in the road you're going to get over.

Hang in there, you are strong!

wishing you a great relief very soon.

1000% Raymon!

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

It seems we set our clocks to almost the same time 😵‍💫 and seriously, I'm truly sorry Raymond, it may feel like regression but it's not, you're still making amazing progress, this is a crappy bump in the road you're going to get over.

Hang in there, you are strong!

wishing you a great relief very soon.

Thank you @Fullhealing as I also need reinforcement....

 

You are totally right.  It's healing process and probably deeper healing too.  

 

And how we all get to have pretty much same clock time.   I bet if we are all put in one room with no clock, we will all wake up at the same time....how that happens 🤔...body works in mysterious God ways ..

 

I discover it's my stomach causing all of it...I had good GI for months....

 

I hope you are doing well too..

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

1000% Raymon!

Thanks @Chippy..... totally agree but wow...what a ride....

On 2/27/2026 at 4:41 AM, Raymond said:

02)28/2026- 🤒 two days in a row waking up 230am with cortisol issues, intrusive thoughts, head pressure and anxiety.....on and off.

 

Well, yesterday was a little better than previous day, but not much of a difference. In the afternoon,I started to feel little better.

 

Today, I woke up at 230am.  I got this head pressure, head anxiety, and intrusive thoughts that just woke me up.  I tried changing thoughts, and every time, I closed my eyes, same symptoms will showed up.  I thought I was doing great, but I feel like my progress is just backwards...

 

Here I am in bed trying to sleep a little more, but I just can't...for real.....why this came back????? Two days now, sleeping just few hours...like 4 hours only.... 

 

At month 12, I saw improvement and slept longer, now end of month 14, I'm back to four hours and back to job stress issues...

 

Frustrating, but trying to move on...I'm glad I'm leaving early from work and a long weekend for me ...I hope things resolved soon...

 

02/28/2026- back to wake up as I used to ...

 

Yesterday was an up and down day for me.   Blah all day,body anxiousness, stomach boating and just blah, blah, blah.  But I enjoyed with no emotions talking kids to a local park ...

 

I went to sleep around 1030p..  I woke up again as my usual 6am with no brain jumping ,but I did woke with the body feeling little anxious.  Between 1030pm to 6am, I woke up like three times and had one dream.  

 

I continue with my bloated stomach which I think it's the main reason for my anxiousness.   It feels hot and like if I ate for an entire day...

 

Let see if I get better and better again as time passes by.

 

In the name of Jesus Christ....we need to have faith and he can still do miracles.  I'm waiting for mine.   Why does he sometimes take time, I don't know, but I have faith, he will do the miracle.....

 

Keep faith, he is the only one that can heal us.   

 

 

10 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/28/2026- back to wake up as I used to ...

 

Yesterday was an up and down day for me.   Blah all day,body anxiousness, stomach boating and just blah, blah, blah.  But I enjoyed with no emotions talking kids to a local park ...

 

I went to sleep around 1030p..  I woke up again as my usual 6am with no brain jumping ,but I did woke with the body feeling little anxious.  Between 1030pm to 6am, I woke up like three times and had one dream.  

 

I continue with my bloated stomach which I think it's the main reason for my anxiousness.   It feels hot and like if I ate for an entire day...

 

Let see if I get better and better again as time passes by.

 

In the name of Jesus Christ....we need to have faith and he can still do miracles.  I'm waiting for mine.   Why does he sometimes take time, I don't know, but I have faith, he will do the miracle.....

 

Keep faith, he is the only one that can heal us.   

 

 

Update....

 

So far, I was able to do few errands and I'm trying to have fun despite of my bloated stomach and anxiety on chest area and like fatigue sensation with little fear feeling...just manageable and hoping things will improve more....

 

It's ok, but not as good as I was feeling before....one day at a time ...

23 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/28/2026- back to wake up as I used to ...

 

Yesterday was an up and down day for me.   Blah all day,body anxiousness, stomach boating and just blah, blah, blah.  But I enjoyed with no emotions talking kids to a local park ...

 

I went to sleep around 1030p..  I woke up again as my usual 6am with no brain jumping ,but I did woke with the body feeling little anxious.  Between 1030pm to 6am, I woke up like three times and had one dream.  

 

I continue with my bloated stomach which I think it's the main reason for my anxiousness.   It feels hot and like if I ate for an entire day...

 

Let see if I get better and better again as time passes by.

 

In the name of Jesus Christ....we need to have faith and he can still do miracles.  I'm waiting for mine.   Why does he sometimes take time, I don't know, but I have faith, he will do the miracle.....

 

Keep faith, he is the only one that can heal us.   

 

 

Update....

 

So far, I was able to do few errands and I'm trying to have fun despite of my bloated stomach and anxiety on chest area and like fatigue sensation with little fear feeling...just manageable and hoping things will improve more....

 

It's ok, but not as good as I was feeling before....one day at a time ...

03/01/2026- cortisol up and down...every day it's different...

 

Yesterday, I was able to sleep more again, but had morning anxiety.  By the late morning, things improved and by late afternoon, I was feeling better than any of these past days...

 

This morning I woke up around 430am with the cortisol spike, but no anxiety, only feeling little hot and few intrusive thoughts.  I was able to go back to sleep until 540am.  The symptom is hot sensation on my back, stomach feels little better but still bloated.

 

As morning continues, let see what symptoms I will get....

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/01/2026- cortisol up and down...every day it's different...

 

Yesterday, I was able to sleep more again, but had morning anxiety.  By the late morning, things improved and by late afternoon, I was feeling better than any of these past days...

 

This morning I woke up around 430am with the cortisol spike, but no anxiety, only feeling little hot and few intrusive thoughts.  I was able to go back to sleep until 540am.  The symptom is hot sensation on my back, stomach feels little better but still bloated.

 

As morning continues, let see what symptoms I will get....

Keep pushing @Raymond you're so strong! one sec at the time.

Hope the day goes easier on you.

Jesus is right with you, Raymond. Just imagine Him there holding your right hand. Think of Footprints or whatever else is comforting. Put yourself in the scene with Him ✝️

I saw your post a while back on the thread about FMLA...good move, just in case you have to use it, it is always there. I hope you are doing better today, my friend.

03/3/2026- cortisol up and down symptoms recovery process....

 

These last two days, I went camping with family.   I enjoyed it and afternoon hours were better.   

 

My morning hours continue to be up and down.  Yesterday morning, I wike up few times in the night, but I was also able to stay in bed until like 730am with no cortisol and intrusive thoughts...

 

I went to sleep earlier than usual.  Woke up few times and one dream.  I woke up around 430am with cortisol and intrusive thoughts again...

 

Well, I have to continue moving forward.

 

My mornings continue to be the worst.  Some mornings, I feel blah and others, I might have morning fear.   

 

Almost at the end of my 14 months of this journey.  At this time last year, I was on a very horrible situation.   Now, it's a lot better but still struggling.

 

I will probably be holding my dose this year as I have a lot of personal situations that I will need to handle....I also need to handle my work as normal since I have to provide...

 

I'm not longer in Tapering mode anymore.  I'm more into finding stability first before making any other changes.    How long will it takes, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure my body will get there and I will be able to have a more normal life to taper correctly with the possibility of minimal symptoms...

 

Let's continue praying for Jesus Christ intervention and healing.....he can still heal us....

18 minutes ago, Raymond said:

03/3/2026- cortisol up and down symptoms recovery process....

 

These last two days, I went camping with family.   I enjoyed it and afternoon hours were better.   

 

My morning hours continue to be up and down.  Yesterday morning, I wike up few times in the night, but I was also able to stay in bed until like 730am with no cortisol and intrusive thoughts...

 

I went to sleep earlier than usual.  Woke up few times and one dream.  I woke up around 430am with cortisol and intrusive thoughts again...

 

Well, I have to continue moving forward.

 

My mornings continue to be the worst.  Some mornings, I feel blah and others, I might have morning fear.   

 

Almost at the end of my 14 months of this journey.  At this time last year, I was on a very horrible situation.   Now, it's a lot better but still struggling.

 

I will probably be holding my dose this year as I have a lot of personal situations that I will need to handle....I also need to handle my work as normal since I have to provide...

 

I'm not longer in Tapering mode anymore.  I'm more into finding stability first before making any other changes.    How long will it takes, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure my body will get there and I will be able to have a more normal life to taper correctly with the possibility of minimal symptoms...

 

Let's continue praying for Jesus Christ intervention and healing.....he can still heal us....

It's great that you see how much progress you're making, even though there are still difficulties, and also learning to be attentive to your body and its capabilities. In this process, it's very challenging to stay attentive to your healthy inner self that always knows the right path, well done @Raymond

26 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

It's great that you see how much progress you're making, even though there are still difficulties, and also learning to be attentive to your body and its capabilities. In this process, it's very challenging to stay attentive to your healthy inner self that always knows the right path, well done @Raymond

Thanks @Fullhealing.   I think it best to really wait.  I need to feel better and not to have these job fear sensations in the morning.   It's up and down.   And I have other stressors in life that I need to be able to handle.   

 

I hope your journey gets better too.

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/3/2026- cortisol up and down symptoms recovery process....

 

These last two days, I went camping with family.   I enjoyed it and afternoon hours were better.   

 

My morning hours continue to be up and down.  Yesterday morning, I wike up few times in the night, but I was also able to stay in bed until like 730am with no cortisol and intrusive thoughts...

 

I went to sleep earlier than usual.  Woke up few times and one dream.  I woke up around 430am with cortisol and intrusive thoughts again...

 

Well, I have to continue moving forward.

 

My mornings continue to be the worst.  Some mornings, I feel blah and others, I might have morning fear.   

 

Almost at the end of my 14 months of this journey.  At this time last year, I was on a very horrible situation.   Now, it's a lot better but still struggling.

 

I will probably be holding my dose this year as I have a lot of personal situations that I will need to handle....I also need to handle my work as normal since I have to provide...

 

I'm not longer in Tapering mode anymore.  I'm more into finding stability first before making any other changes.    How long will it takes, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure my body will get there and I will be able to have a more normal life to taper correctly with the possibility of minimal symptoms...

 

Let's continue praying for Jesus Christ intervention and healing.....he can still heal us....

Morning update...

Body anxiousness due to the exaggerating symptoms about my job ...I'm glad that I listened to one of Dr. Mark hortbiz that this fear is part of the healing process.  He also mentioned having crazy symptoms for many months while working as well.  He just pushed each day to make it and mentioned that job distraction is good too even though it's terrible...

 

Good thing is ..

I'm able to concentrate at work today

I noticed muscle stiffness and pain gone for weeks 

Headache gone 

Anxiety issues only morning hours and not intense, but it can fluctuates day by day.

Energy good

Feel little blah chest area

Burning sensations ok, but it can be on and off in different parts of body.  

 

On going symptoms during this journey but not intense as used to, and at this point, it is not an every day issue, but still not to a point to do another taper yet.

 

Burning 

Anxiousness

Cortisol with intrusive thoughts in morning 

Fear sensation or feeling scared specifically at work..

 

If these symptoms settle down again, I can handle any physical pain, but these psychological symptoms are crazy....

 

Yet, I thanks God, I'm in a better position now than a year ago ...

 

Stabilization first ....

 

03/04/2026- obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, head pressure.....

 

Yesterday was good day after the early morning hours as usual.

 

This morning, I woke up around 430am and push it to 530am.  I woke up with this obessive thoughts about my work and Boss.   I have never had this issues before medication.   I just learned that obessive thoughts are part of withdrawal and wave symptoms. It creates like a head pressure.

 

My mornings continue to be slow and the worst feelings are between 7am to 10am.

 

I am continuing holding until mornings feels better and longer.  

 

From month 12 of this journey until now, symptoms have been up and down and unusual get better by late morning hours .

 

There are few positive symptoms like I started to play cards with children...

 

I'm still holding until these obsessive thoughts goes away longer time.   The longer I hold, the better for me to slowly come off.

 

Patience, and acceptance....

 

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

You are so right. All the best to you. And may the WD soon lessen. 🙏💕

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

03/04/2026- obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, head pressure.....

 

Yesterday was good day after the early morning hours as usual.

 

This morning, I woke up around 430am and push it to 530am.  I woke up with this obessive thoughts about my work and Boss.   I have never had this issues before medication.   I just learned that obessive thoughts are part of withdrawal and wave symptoms. It creates like a head pressure.

 

My mornings

@Raymond no doubt in my mind that obsessive/intrusive thoughts stem from withdrawal, I didn't have the slightest sign of it before just like you, the worst part is that it attaches to external things, every time different one and turn it into a cause, It's one of the hardest to deal with honestly as it can go on and on..

Glad, however, that there is more improvement in other areas, that's a good sign, keep up the good work!

4 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

attaches to external things

Definitely it does attach to it and causes exaggerating symptom.   When afternoons comes, I'm just normal.

 

I watched a podcast from Dr. Mark Hortbiz and it gives me more hope.  We just have to battle this evilness....

03/05/2026- up and down recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok in the morning hours.  I lacked of concentration, but I managed to work as I could.  The afternoon was better and around 530pm, I had the little headache on my left side, but it only took 30 minutes to fade away...

 

I went to sleep at my normal time 1030pm again...I woke up one time and then woke at 5:06am.   

 

Cortisol with intrusive thoughts and little pressure on head that went away the minute I opened my eyes.  

 

My stomach feels little anxious and loose.

 

No burning sensation or crawling sensation so far in the last couple of days.

 

I feel with little more energy but still have little morning fear on and off...

 

I continue to hold my dose until I feel better.  There are few personal stressors that might prevent me from cutting my dose little more.   

 

Let's continue on my 14 months journey...I hope things feels more normal soon and mornings becomes normal again....

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.  I pray every day for the miracle...

58 minutes ago, Raymond said:

03/05/2026- up and down recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok in the morning hours.  I lacked of concentration, but I managed to work as I could.  The afternoon was better and around 530pm, I had the little headache on my left side, but it only took 30 minutes to fade away...

 

I went to sleep at my normal time 1030pm again...I woke up one time and then woke at 5:06am.   

 

Cortisol with intrusive thoughts and little pressure on head that went away the minute I opened my eyes.  

 

My stomach feels little anxious and loose.

 

No burning sensation or crawling sensation so far in the last couple of days.

 

I feel with little more energy but still have little morning fear on and off...

 

I continue to hold my dose until I feel better.  There are few personal stressors that might prevent me from cutting my dose little more.   

 

Let's continue on my 14 months journey...I hope things feels more normal soon and mornings becomes normal again....

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.  I pray every day for the miracle...

You are on the right track @Raymond keep up the good work and the miracle will come, it just needs a little push!

6 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

You are on the right track @Raymond keep up the good work and the miracle will come, it just needs a little push!

@Fullhealing..you are a great motivator.  Thank you for the support.   I hope my mornings eventually be more normal.

I struggle with the intrusive thoughts and obsession though lately, but it's part of the process....

 

Time and patience...

9 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/05/2026- up and down recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok in the morning hours.  I lacked of concentration, but I managed to work as I could.  The afternoon was better and around 530pm, I had the little headache on my left side, but it only took 30 minutes to fade away...

 

I went to sleep at my normal time 1030pm again...I woke up one time and then woke at 5:06am.   

 

Cortisol with intrusive thoughts and little pressure on head that went away the minute I opened my eyes.  

 

My stomach feels little anxious and loose.

 

No burning sensation or crawling sensation so far in the last couple of days.

 

I feel with little more energy but still have little morning fear on and off...

 

I continue to hold my dose until I feel better.  There are few personal stressors that might prevent me from cutting my dose little more.   

 

Let's continue on my 14 months journey...I hope things feels more normal soon and mornings becomes normal again....

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.  I pray every day for the miracle...

onwards and upwards @Raymond

 

👊👊👊