9 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Yesterday, I slept all night until like 930am

Fantastic 💯

9 minutes ago, Raymond said:

We will get there my friend.

❤️🙏

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update....

Anxiousness and nervousness going down again.....

 

I am getting a lot more sleepy now....

You are doing AMAZING 👏✨ @Raymond so pleased for you! 

03/17/2026- ups and downs recovery process 

 

Yesterday was an ok and bad day for me.  My wife had to go emergency but everything fine.  Then, in the evening,I had to take my son to emergency because he had his eyes swollen.  I have never experienced that with any of my kids.   He is fine now, but having a sensitive system, it made me feel anxious almost all day.

 

The good thing is that I did not felt terrible anxiety like last year.   It was bad but not terrible and resolved quickly....this is an indication that things are improving...

 

Unfortunately, last night, I woke up few times than normal.   I don't know if I'm going to be rested.  To much drama yesterday, so I hope I finally gets peaceful day today.

 

So far, I feel blah, little chest anxiety, little unmotivated, but positive.....let see if I can distract myself from all the drama yesterday...

 

I really hope that God grant me peace today....it's being cold too and I hasn't been able to walk outside.  I like to walk in warmer climates....

 

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

03/17/2026- ups and downs recovery process 

 

Yesterday was an ok and bad day for me.  My wife had to go emergency but everything fine.  Then, in the evening,I had to take my son to emergency because he had his eyes swollen.  I have never experienced that with any of my kids.   He is fine now, but having a sensitive system, it made me feel anxious almost all day.

 

The good thing is that I did not felt terrible anxiety like last year.   It was bad but not terrible and resolved quickly....this is an indication that things are improving...

 

Unfortunately, last night, I woke up few times than normal.   I don't know if I'm going to be rested.  To much drama yesterday, so I hope I finally gets peaceful day today.

 

So far, I feel blah, little chest anxiety, little unmotivated, but positive.....let see if I can distract myself from all the drama yesterday...

 

I really hope that God grant me peace today....it's being cold too and I hasn't been able to walk outside.  I like to walk in warmer climates....

 

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

Sorry to read @Raymond it only makes sense that it would shake up the system even more and affect sleep as well.

Very glad it wasn't serious though and that your ability to cope with pressure is improving.

Wishing you a quiet, drama-free day and I would gladly send you some 🌞 if I could, plenty of it here today.

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Sorry to read @Raymond it only makes sense that it would shake up the system even more and affect sleep as well.

Very glad it wasn't serious though and that your ability to cope with pressure is improving.

Wishing you a quiet, drama-free day and I would gladly send you some 🌞 if I could, plenty of it here today.

@Fullhealing....thanks and you are the best.....

 

I hope you get better soon too.

 

It's being a rollercoaster journey for sure....

 

I really hope to find peace and system heals a lot more ....

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/17/2026- ups and downs recovery process 

 

Yesterday was an ok and bad day for me.  My wife had to go emergency but everything fine.  Then, in the evening,I had to take my son to emergency because he had his eyes swollen.  I have never experienced that with any of my kids.   He is fine now, but having a sensitive system, it made me feel anxious almost all day.

 

The good thing is that I did not felt terrible anxiety like last year.   It was bad but not terrible and resolved quickly....this is an indication that things are improving...

 

Unfortunately, last night, I woke up few times than normal.   I don't know if I'm going to be rested.  To much drama yesterday, so I hope I finally gets peaceful day today.

 

So far, I feel blah, little chest anxiety, little unmotivated, but positive.....let see if I can distract myself from all the drama yesterday...

 

I really hope that God grant me peace today....it's being cold too and I hasn't been able to walk outside.  I like to walk in warmer climates....

 

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

Morning update....

 

I was a little anxious and Nervousness sensation this morning, but gone again.

 

More concentration today.  Yet, feeling blah at the same time..

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

 

I was a little anxious and Nervousness sensation this morning, but gone again.

 

More concentration today.  Yet, feeling blah at the same time..

Evening update....

 

Anxiousness due to wife's family issues.  I am trying hard to support her as much as I can, but I'm still sensitive to stress.....

 

I hope peace comes soon.,... To many stressors in my life right now.  

 

I'm holding tapering even longer.....

 

The good thing is that my Boss gave me a great compliment about my work yesterday on a special project.... yesterday I was able to concentrate and no brain fog.....

Edited March 18Mar 18 by Raymond
Adding comments

@Raymond I’m wishing peace & comfort 🙏🙏🙏

03/18/2026- ups and downs, but few slow improvements...

 

I have been ok, but anxious due to few personal issues with family, but the good thing is that anxiety is a lot better than the high rocket anxiety last year.  

 

This morning, I woke up earlier than usual.  My wife went to emergency room for her issue, which she is fine, but she will see a specialist next week.  In the meantime, she was given few medications to control her issue.  It's a woman issue...so, I have been anxious between her issue and her mother's issues....

 

The good thing is that I can see that my anxieties are more controllable than last year.  This is a good sign..

 

I also noticed that despite of waking up at 530am, I can fall back to sleep again...it's being like this in the past three days....no cortisol spike.....I just woke up without morning fear.

 

Another improvement is that my morning fear is fading slowly again and more.  When I get my boss emails, I'm no longer jumping into panic.  I only get little anxious, which it will eventually fade away, I hope...

 

Today, I can't work and it's almost 12pm and still in bed.   I can't find motivation to just wake up after all of these stressful situations...

 

I'm just staying in bed as much as I can and let my body rest for now.....

 

Based on my current situation, I think I'm getting closer to be normal again...

 

I'm holding long enough until few stressor are gone in my life...

On 3/16/2026 at 6:27 PM, Fullhealing said:

You are doing AMAZING 👏✨ @Raymond so pleased for you! 

I hope you are doing better today.  You have a lot of stressful situations with your recovery and your country issues.   I really admire how you are handling things....

 

You are my inspiration....

9 minutes ago, Raymond said:

I hope you are doing better today.  You have a lot of stressful situations with your recovery and your country issues.   I really admire how you are handling things....

 

You are my inspiration....

Dear @Raymond that was so kind of you! thank you.

In survival frame I've been relatively okay the last two days, my body is much calmer, my mind less so, but it's bearable, hopefully it's not the calm before the storm but we'll face with what is.

I haven't read your update yet, I hope you are doing well today and everyone around you as well.

Keep being a brave warrior Raymond, I appreciate you.

@Raymond Hi, just dropping by to say I understand how close family members health issues can impact your withdrawal symptoms, also your anxiety related work issues. Resting whenever you can is a good idea. Things will  pick up again as they have before. Best wishes to you and your family.🙏

35 minutes ago, Raymond said:

03/18/2026- ups and downs, but few slow improvements...

 

I have been ok, but anxious due to few personal issues with family, but the good thing is that anxiety is a lot better than the high rocket anxiety last year.  

 

This morning, I woke up earlier than usual.  My wife went to emergency room for her issue, which she is fine, but she will see a specialist next week.  In the meantime, she was given few medications to control her issue.  It's a woman issue...so, I have been anxious between her issue and her mother's issues....

 

The good thing is that I can see that my anxieties are more controllable than last year.  This is a good sign..

 

I also noticed that despite of waking up at 530am, I can fall back to sleep again...it's being like this in the past three days....no cortisol spike.....I just woke up without morning fear.

 

Another improvement is that my morning fear is fading slowly again and more.  When I get my boss emails, I'm no longer jumping into panic.  I only get little anxious, which it will eventually fade away, I hope...

 

Today, I can't work and it's almost 12pm and still in bed.   I can't find motivation to just wake up after all of these stressful situations...

 

I'm just staying in bed as much as I can and let my body rest for now.....

 

Based on my current situation, I think I'm getting closer to be normal again...

 

I'm holding long enough until few stressor are gone in my life...

Raymond I get the lack of motivation, it's at zero for me most of the time however I see a lot of good stuff here, especially your ability to cope well with what comes and the improvement in sleep, that's great, I'm happy for you!

Wishing you an easy day ahead and hope everything goes well with your wife, external pressures doesn't help but again, you're coping wonderfully.

1 hour ago, Sonia2 said:

@Raymond Hi, just dropping by to say I understand how close family members health issues can impact your withdrawal symptoms, also your anxiety related work issues. Resting whenever you can is a good idea. Things will  pick up again as they have before. Best wishes to you and your family.🙏

Thanks you @Sonia2.  Yes, it is very difficult when my body is also healing at the same time....the good thing is that I just get this little anxiety sensation that calm down quickly.  It doesn't stay long, but it leaves me with no motivation and feeling like depress.   

 

Keeping moving forward.....

 

Thanks for stopping by....I hope you are doing well too.

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Raymond I get the lack of motivation, it's at zero for me most of the time however I see a lot of good stuff here, especially your ability to cope well with what comes and the improvement in sleep, that's great, I'm happy for you!

Wishing you an easy day ahead and hope everything goes well with your wife, external pressures doesn't help but again, you're coping wonderfully.

@Fullhealing....you are the best...thanks for stopping by.   I'm just unmotivated, and feeling like depressed.   Crazy how these symptoms change on a daily basis...

 

15 months journey now....I must say that I am feeling a lot better than last year...

I really don't know which symptom is the worst.  Each symptom brings something new.

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/18/2026- ups and downs, but few slow improvements...

 

I have been ok, but anxious due to few personal issues with family, but the good thing is that anxiety is a lot better than the high rocket anxiety last year.  

 

This morning, I woke up earlier than usual.  My wife went to emergency room for her issue, which she is fine, but she will see a specialist next week.  In the meantime, she was given few medications to control her issue.  It's a woman issue...so, I have been anxious between her issue and her mother's issues....

 

The good thing is that I can see that my anxieties are more controllable than last year.  This is a good sign..

 

I also noticed that despite of waking up at 530am, I can fall back to sleep again...it's being like this in the past three days....no cortisol spike.....I just woke up without morning fear.

 

Another improvement is that my morning fear is fading slowly again and more.  When I get my boss emails, I'm no longer jumping into panic.  I only get little anxious, which it will eventually fade away, I hope...

 

Today, I can't work and it's almost 12pm and still in bed.   I can't find motivation to just wake up after all of these stressful situations...

 

I'm just staying in bed as much as I can and let my body rest for now.....

 

Based on my current situation, I think I'm getting closer to be normal again...

 

I'm holding long enough until few stressor are gone in my life...

Afternoon update....

 

For my third time in 15 months, I did an afternoon nap for an hour and half.  I just felt to sleep.

 

I continue to be like sad sensation and no motivation....

03/19/2026- ups and downs recovery process continues....

 

Yesterday was just ok day with no motivation and sadness feelings all day.  Toward the late afternoon, I improved a little bit more.

 

One thing that happened was that around 1230pm, I was laying in the couch and I felt asleep until like 2pm.   This is the third time in my entire 15 months that I nap that much.

 

I also noticed in the last three or four days that when I wake up at 530am and stand up for like few minutes, I can fall asleep again.   Yesterday, I stayed in bed until like 10am.  I was feeling very unmotivated and tired.

 

Almost all day felt, unmotivated, sadness or depression sensation, crawling sensation top head, little body anxiousness specially on chest area.

 

This morning, I woke up 530am with no cortisol spike.   I just woke up with little crawling sensation to head.   I'm getting ready to work.  I hope I get a better day today and concentration back.

 

I also noticed that I got anger sensation yesterday.  This is a symptom that was gone like for months.   I need to make sure, I keep my mouth closed...

 

Let see how I end up today and hopefully, I get a break....

 

In the the of Jesus Christ, we will all heal....

 

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/19/2026- ups and downs recovery process continues....

 

Yesterday was just ok day with no motivation and sadness feelings all day.  Toward the late afternoon, I improved a little bit more.

 

One thing that happened was that around 1230pm, I was laying in the couch and I felt asleep until like 2pm.   This is the third time in my entire 15 months that I nap that much.

 

I also noticed in the last three or four days that when I wake up at 530am and stand up for like few minutes, I can fall asleep again.   Yesterday, I stayed in bed until like 10am.  I was feeling very unmotivated and tired.

 

Almost all day felt, unmotivated, sadness or depression sensation, crawling sensation top head, little body anxiousness specially on chest area.

 

This morning, I woke up 530am with no cortisol spike.   I just woke up with little crawling sensation to head.   I'm getting ready to work.  I hope I get a better day today and concentration back.

 

I also noticed that I got anger sensation yesterday.  This is a symptom that was gone like for months.   I need to make sure, I keep my mouth closed...

 

Let see how I end up today and hopefully, I get a break....

 

In the the of Jesus Christ, we will all heal....

 

Sorry for the bad @Raymond hope the motivation, fatigue and general mood will improve for you soon, I'm having it the same as you today, so not fun!

keep being a great warrior, all of it will fade with time.

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

03/19/2026- ups and downs recovery process continues....

 

Yesterday was just ok day with no motivation and sadness feelings all day.  Toward the late afternoon, I improved a little bit more.

 

One thing that happened was that around 1230pm, I was laying in the couch and I felt asleep until like 2pm.   This is the third time in my entire 15 months that I nap that much.

 

I also noticed in the last three or four days that when I wake up at 530am and stand up for like few minutes, I can fall asleep again.   Yesterday, I stayed in bed until like 10am.  I was feeling very unmotivated and tired.

 

Almost all day felt, unmotivated, sadness or depression sensation, crawling sensation top head, little body anxiousness specially on chest area.

 

This morning, I woke up 530am with no cortisol spike.   I just woke up with little crawling sensation to head.   I'm getting ready to work.  I hope I get a better day today and concentration back.

 

I also noticed that I got anger sensation yesterday.  This is a symptom that was gone like for months.   I need to make sure, I keep my mouth closed...

 

Let see how I end up today and hopefully, I get a break....

 

In the the of Jesus Christ, we will all heal....

 

Morning update....

 

A lot better than yesterday so far.....

 

Like I said, after month 12, its just being ups and downs every other day, but sleep improved too...

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

 

A lot better than yesterday so far.....

 

Like I said, after month 12, its just being ups and downs every other day, but sleep improved too...

Evening update....

 

Concentration was finally great and another nap time that I felt to sleep for an hour.....no jumping into fear.....

 

Things looking good...

03/20/2026- ups and downs recovery process....

 

Yesterday was my second great day...from good to better day.    I hope things continue to improve to a point that I feel great again as previously....I did an hour nap again and woke up without jumping in panic or anxiety on top of head 

 

Last night I went to sleep around 10pm and woke up due to my alarm at 540am to get my dose and be ready to work.  

 

Between that time, I woke up two times and went back to sleep.  I had two dreams too.

 

It's being four days now that I don't get the cortisol spike with the anxiety or intrusive thoughts.    This issue with the cortisol being an issue since the beginning of my journey.   It was gone from month 5 to month 9.  Then, at month 10, it all came back and it was on and off.  Now, I'm at month 15 on this journey, and in the last days, it kind of faded away again.

 

My sleep has improved but I'm not there yet.

 

I continue holding my dose and allowing more time to heal and build a stronger CNS.  In May, I have my vacations.  I'm holding until I come back from it so I don't mess up my family trip.  

 

If I ever decide to go down these next month, I might only cut a very tiny amount to test waters and go from .0716g to .0714g.   it's only .0002g cut...

 

My goal is to be able to cut 5% per every 5-6 weeks instead of 4 weeks.

 

There are few other symptoms I still have that really doesn't bother me.   Those my get resolved as I go down in my dose.

 

The only symptoms I am focusing are cortisol spike, anxiety, burning sensation...those are the ones I need to be stabilize so I can cut more...

 

My game plan this year is to reduce as follows 

.0716g to .0714g hold 5 weeks...if fine...

.0714g to .0712g hold 5 weeks...if fine

.0712 to .0710g hold 5 weeks...if fine

.0710g to .0704g.....this is where I will try to increase to 1 percentage and continue holding 5 weeks...

 

The first three small cuts are to allow my CNS to continue building strength so my bigger cuts can be smoother...

 

This is just my game plan if things continue to improve....

 

6 minutes ago, Raymond said:

03/20/2026- ups and downs recovery process....

 

Yesterday was my second great day...from good to better day.    I hope things continue to improve to a point that I feel great again as previously....I did an hour nap again and woke up without jumping in panic or anxiety on top of head 

 

Last night I went to sleep around 10pm and woke up due to my alarm at 540am to get my dose and be ready to work.  

 

Between that time, I woke up two times and went back to sleep.  I had two dreams too.

 

It's being four days now that I don't get the cortisol spike with the anxiety or intrusive thoughts.    This issue with the cortisol being an issue since the beginning of my journey.   It was gone from month 5 to month 9.  Then, at month 10, it all came back and it was on and off.  Now, I'm at month 15 on this journey, and in the last days, it kind of faded away again.

 

My sleep has improved but I'm not there yet.

 

I continue holding my dose and allowing more time to heal and build a stronger CNS.  In May, I have my vacations.  I'm holding until I come back from it so I don't mess up my family trip.  

 

If I ever decide to go down these next month, I might only cut a very tiny amount to test waters and go from .0716g to .0714g.   it's only .0002g cut...

 

My goal is to be able to cut 5% per every 5-6 weeks instead of 4 weeks.

 

There are few other symptoms I still have that really doesn't bother me.   Those my get resolved as I go down in my dose.

 

The only symptoms I am focusing are cortisol spike, anxiety, burning sensation...those are the ones I need to be stabilize so I can cut more...

 

My game plan this year is to reduce as follows 

.0716g to .0714g hold 5 weeks...if fine...

.0714g to .0712g hold 5 weeks...if fine

.0712 to .0710g hold 5 weeks...if fine

.0710g to .0704g.....this is where I will try to increase to 1 percentage and continue holding 5 weeks...

 

The first three small cuts are to allow my CNS to continue building strength so my bigger cuts can be smoother...

 

This is just my game plan if things continue to improve....

 

Looking good!

I'm thinking along your lines, Raymond, of cutting an average of 1% per week. I'll do 2% for a week, then hold a week, and again 2%, then hold. I'll do that 4 times for a total of 8% over 8 weeks. That's considerably less than the 10% every 6 weeks that I started at. I've tried different timing along the way. I don't seem to do well on cuts two weeks in a row. We'll see how this one goes. We've got this!

4 hours ago, gardengirl2 said:

I'm thinking along your lines, Raymond, of cutting an average of 1% per week. I'll do 2% for a week, then hold a week, and again 2%, then hold. I'll do that 4 times for a total of 8% over 8 weeks. That's considerably less than the 10% every 6 weeks that I started at. I've tried different timing along the way. I don't seem to do well on cuts two weeks in a row. We'll see how this one goes. We've got this!

I will love to do 8% per 5 weeks.  I really haven't tried that much.  I have only do like 1.4% per month, but I have been holding since October 2025.  My first two cuts I was fine with no issues.  My third cut, I experienced a little bump.  Then I hit a wall old symptoms.   I don't think the wall was done by my third cut.  I think my body was still adjusting to my cold turkey before reinstated minimal.   Yet, I decided to hold since October on tapering.   It seems that I will be resuming taper again soon....

I'll be anxious to see how you progress. I wish you the best!

xxoo Jamie