04/09/2026- morning hours recovery process....

 

Yesterday, I had an anxious day that kind of lower in the afternoon hours but slowly.

 

In the past two days, I have been feeling like chest emptiness or fatigue and small palpitations.   My emotions continue to be numb. Concentration on and off. Lack of motivation on and off.  

 

I was looking at last year symptoms and I have been with the same issues for now 16 months.   Some days are better than others and less intense, but still affecting myself.

 

Some days, I feel like staying in the couch, but other days, I stayed in bed.   I sometimes move around the house looking for comfort.  Waking is one thing that distracts me which I continue doing.  

 

Today, it seems that I continue having same issues.  Chest emptiness and/or fatigue.  Body anxiousness, but I think the chest fatigue is my main issue these last two days with small palpitations.  

 

I decided to work on easy task first at work and as morning passes by and I get to improve more, I do the hard work later.  I hope I don't get much stress today since I feel like I need to relax a little more.

 

Also, last year, I had feelings of riding my bicycle and it's being months since I lost that enjoyment...

 

I'm wishing that one day, I will be myself again.  Frustrating to do things with children and no enjoyment.

 

In one more month, I am going on vacation and I hope that time give me peace and body can heal faster and recover comes soon ...

 

Overall, I'm the same as yesterday......

 

Let's keep hope in Jesus name.....

23 minutes ago, Raymond said:

04/09/2026- morning hours recovery process....

 

Yesterday, I had an anxious day that kind of lower in the afternoon hours but slowly.

 

In the past two days, I have been feeling like chest emptiness or fatigue and small palpitations.   My emotions continue to be numb. Concentration on and off. Lack of motivation on and off.  

 

I was looking at last year symptoms and I have been with the same issues for now 16 months.   Some days are better than others and less intense, but still affecting myself.

 

Some days, I feel like staying in the couch, but other days, I stayed in bed.   I sometimes move around the house looking for comfort.  Waking is one thing that distracts me which I continue doing.  

 

Today, it seems that I continue having same issues.  Chest emptiness and/or fatigue.  Body anxiousness, but I think the chest fatigue is my main issue these last two days with small palpitations.  

 

I decided to work on easy task first at work and as morning passes by and I get to improve more, I do the hard work later.  I hope I don't get much stress today since I feel like I need to relax a little more.

 

Also, last year, I had feelings of riding my bicycle and it's being months since I lost that enjoyment...

 

I'm wishing that one day, I will be myself again.  Frustrating to do things with children and no enjoyment.

 

In one more month, I am going on vacation and I hope that time give me peace and body can heal faster and recover comes soon ...

 

Overall, I'm the same as yesterday......

 

Let's keep hope in Jesus name.....

I can relate very much to anhedonia..

Although there are small flashes of desire here and there, overall it feels like there is no point in carrying.

I take a bit of a comfort in knowing that this is a very common symptom and though mostly more stubborn than others, it eventually fades.

Hope it gets easier for you as the rest of the symptoms very soon.

29 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I can relate very much to anhedonia..

Although there are small flashes of desire here and there, overall it feels like there is no point in carrying.

I take a bit of a comfort in knowing that this is a very common symptom and though mostly more stubborn than others, it eventually fades.

Hope it gets easier for you as the rest of the symptoms very soon.

Thanks for your support.

 

It's very frustrating to try to enjoy something but no feelings.  My mornings continue to be blah, little anxious, little work fear, little unmotivated, and some little anger feelings.  

 

I can't believe doctors do not talk about it and the cause these medications do to us...

 

Hope world and science change it.

17 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Thanks for your support.

 

It's very frustrating to try to enjoy something but no feelings.  My mornings continue to be blah, little anxious, little work fear, little unmotivated, and some little anger feelings.  

 

I can't believe doctors do not talk about it and the cause these medications do to us...

 

Hope world and science change it.

I know, so outrageous!

Doctors don't talk about it as it's not profitable, this entire industry and those who sit on it are corrupt to the core!

All that remains is to continue towards our victory and thus in the future hopefully break this terrible system.

Keep pushing @Raymond you are doing so well!!

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/09/2026- morning hours recovery process....

 

Yesterday, I had an anxious day that kind of lower in the afternoon hours but slowly.

 

In the past two days, I have been feeling like chest emptiness or fatigue and small palpitations.   My emotions continue to be numb. Concentration on and off. Lack of motivation on and off.  

 

I was looking at last year symptoms and I have been with the same issues for now 16 months.   Some days are better than others and less intense, but still affecting myself.

 

Some days, I feel like staying in the couch, but other days, I stayed in bed.   I sometimes move around the house looking for comfort.  Waking is one thing that distracts me which I continue doing.  

 

Today, it seems that I continue having same issues.  Chest emptiness and/or fatigue.  Body anxiousness, but I think the chest fatigue is my main issue these last two days with small palpitations.  

 

I decided to work on easy task first at work and as morning passes by and I get to improve more, I do the hard work later.  I hope I don't get much stress today since I feel like I need to relax a little more.

 

Also, last year, I had feelings of riding my bicycle and it's being months since I lost that enjoyment...

 

I'm wishing that one day, I will be myself again.  Frustrating to do things with children and no enjoyment.

 

In one more month, I am going on vacation and I hope that time give me peace and body can heal faster and recover comes soon ...

 

Overall, I'm the same as yesterday......

 

Let's keep hope in Jesus name.....

Afternoon update...

Anxiousness, feeling hot on my back and Nervousness....

 

My stomach gasses again which I think it's related to the anxious body....

 

I feel like going backwards instead of forward....

 

 

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

Thanks for your support.

 

It's very frustrating to try to enjoy something but no feelings.  My mornings continue to be blah, little anxious, little work fear, little unmotivated, and some little anger feelings.  

 

I can't believe doctors do not talk about it and the cause these medications do to us...

 

Hope world and science change it.

I can completely relate to these feelings.  I spent a good chunk of my WD and recovery stuck in a cycle of being anxious about work, then being thankful it was over,  only to be anxious about the next day.  I was just going through the motions.  It was very slow, but I did get my feelings and my joy back.  It will come! 

 

3 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update...

Anxiousness, feeling hot on my back and Nervousness....

 

My stomach gasses again which I think it's related to the anxious body....

 

I feel like going backwards instead of forward....

 

 

As a Mentor, you know we have good days and not so good days, and the bad ones are only temporary.  When I'm feeling anxious, it gets me in the stomach, too--heartburn and upset stomach are common symptoms of anxiety.  Hoping they pass quickly! 

40 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

As a Mentor, you know we have good days and not so good days, and the bad ones are only temporary.  When I'm feeling anxious, it gets me in the stomach, too--heartburn and upset stomach are common symptoms of anxiety.  Hoping they pass quickly! 

@mstimc60....thank you for your support and encouragement...

 

I see you were on paxil as well and congratulations on coming off.

 

I am at 4.79mg and holding now for six months as I experienced old symptoms around month 10 on this journey....

 

I have been up and now.  They are manageable but I can't taper now because I still get these same issues.

 

Holding until after my vacations next month....

 

How was your taper?

1 minute ago, Raymond said:

How was your taper?

I tried tapering twice before I learned how to do it right from PaxilProgress.  WD was rough but eventually I learned to handle the symptoms. I think I got to the point where I figured withdrawal couldn't come up with anything new and I was better off concentrating on a nice slow taper than what the next reduction might bring. It wasn't easy by any means but every day I'm thankful I did it. 

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

I tried tapering twice before I learned how to do it right from PaxilProgress.  WD was rough but eventually I learned to handle the symptoms. I think I got to the point where I figured withdrawal couldn't come up with anything new and I was better off concentrating on a nice slow taper than what the next reduction might bring. It wasn't easy by any means but every day I'm thankful I did it. 

How much did you reduce and how often...I did two cuts of 1.4% percentage and no issues.  My third cut 1.4% and like five weeks later, i was hit with old symptoms but not as intense as first five months.

 

I think, my last cut did bring the symptoms.  I think it was my system that came back to heal deeper....

 

But who knows 

8 minutes ago, Raymond said:

How much did you reduce and how often...I did two cuts of 1.4% percentage and no issues.  My third cut 1.4% and like five weeks later, i was hit with old symptoms but not as intense as first five months.

 

I think, my last cut did bring the symptoms.  I think it was my system that came back to heal deeper....

 

But who knows 

PaxilProgress recommended no more than a 5% reduction once every few weeks if I remember right.  I got hit with varying levels of symptoms as well, but I'm kind of stubborn so I just stuck with the reduction schedule and dealt with the symptoms as they occurred.  I should also say I was seeing a great therapist who really helped me to deal with the symptoms and made sure I practiced my coping skills. 

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

PaxilProgress recommended no more than a 5% reduction once every few weeks if I remember right.  I got hit with varying levels of symptoms as well, but I'm kind of stubborn so I just stuck with the reduction schedule and dealt with the symptoms as they occurred.  I should also say I was seeing a great therapist who really helped me to deal with the symptoms and made sure I practiced my coping skills. 

Oh thanks for the heads up...I'm also with a therapist to deal with symptoms.   I think I can reduce, but I'm waiting two more months to start reducing.   I will say, I'm 85% good, but still scared to make the reduction.   I know that every reduction umi got, I was feeling actually better.

 

My main symptoms are anxiety, burning sensation, little fear sensation...those three can make my day miserable and I only get the worst between 6am to 10am.   After 10am, things get better.... I haven't got a good morning for few weeks straight yet ..

13 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

PaxilProgress recommended no more than a 5% reduction once every few weeks if I remember right.  I got hit with varying levels of symptoms as well, but I'm kind of stubborn so I just stuck with the reduction schedule and dealt with the symptoms as they occurred.  I should also say I was seeing a great therapist who really helped me to deal with the symptoms and made sure I practiced my coping skills. 

Oh thanks for the heads up...I'm also with a therapist to deal with symptoms.   I think I can reduce, but I'm waiting two more months to start reducing.   I will say, I'm 85% good, but still scared to make the reduction.   I know that every reduction umi got, I was feeling actually better.

 

My main symptoms are anxiety, burning sensation, little fear sensation...those three can make my day miserable and I only get the worst between 6am to 10am.   After 10am, things get better.... I haven't got a good morning for few weeks straight yet ..

04/10/2026-  intrusive thoughts with head pressure on and off....

 

Last night, I woke up again around 230am with an intrusive thoughts that produce head/brain pressure and hot body.  Then, I went back to sleep after and hour just to wake up again around 539am with the same issue.  

 

Frustrating that I thought it was all gone, but it's the main issue so far.   Uncomfortable feeling when you try to sleep and your brain shoots you with thoughts that you can't contro.

 

No peace of mind so far

My back feels hot...

 

I feel better around 10am, but not as previous time where I felt some peace in my mind and body.   Since I entered my 12 months, I haven't got a break of real peace..

 

Currently at month 16 and holding my Taper....I really hope these bothering symptoms settle down again.

 

I'm 16 months journey, I only got few days where I felt some peace......

 

Where is my peace......

Join the club!  I woke up at the exact same time with racing thoughts!  It was just stupid stuff but it kept me tossing and turning all night. I needed to repeat a sleep mantra over and over "I am healthy, I am calm, I am blessed, and I am loved" until the thoughts calmed down. It does happen, but as I've told others, a bad night (or day) doesn't mean all the next one will be bad, too.  It took me at least a year after I stopped the meds to shed the majority of my symptoms. Hang in there!

11 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Join the club!  I woke up at the exact same time with racing thoughts!  It was just stupid stuff but it kept me tossing and turning all night. I needed to repeat a sleep mantra over and over "I am healthy, I am calm, I am blessed, and I am loved" until the thoughts calmed down. It does happen, but as I've told others, a bad night (or day) doesn't mean all the next one will be bad, too.  It took me at least a year after I stopped the meds to shed the majority of my symptoms. Hang in there!

Thanks for your encouragement.  Definitely, your support is very appreciated...

 

I'm still holding until who knows when...I need to have my mornings a lot better for few weeks before I start tapering from 4.79mg to zero.....six months holding now from last cut...

 

I don't do cuts now because I need to feel better due to the fact that I need to work.  Who knows when am I going to be ready again...

04/13/2026- ups and downs recovery process...

 

In the last two days, I continued to wake up at 530am.  Yesterday, I was able to push it until 730am.  Some days, I will wake up with the pressure in my head.

 

Yesterday, I was feeling with energy all day, but in the morning hours I was anxious as always.  

 

In the afternoon, I took like a 45 minutes nap.  Then, I took my kids to a birthday party which I kind of felt relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

 

I woke up today at 5am again but no head pressure and just head anxiety and little burning sensation.   I just feel off which I don't like, but it is part of the journey..

 

I only hope these feelings of hopeless goes away and start feeling better soon.

 

Six months holding and not able to taper again.  I don't know when I will taper again to come off this drug.   I hope my body stabilize better.

 

Next month, it's going to be my vacations, Soni hope to have a great time and hope these symptoms improve.

 

I continue to have a sleeping mess pattern and mornings continue to be off.  Lack of concentration up and down, muscle stiffness on and off, anxiousness, lack of motivation on and off, can't read much.

 

I spend my time trying to work while listening to podcasts or videos.

 

Let see how things improve.......days are feeling long again...

24 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Let see how things improve.......days are feeling long again...

Your doing great Raymond, your patience is commendable. The rewards will be there!

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Your doing great Raymond, your patience is commendable. The rewards will be there!

Thanks @Chippy....i am trying to take one day at a time.  I really hope my mornings become better and normal...

 

I don't think I'm going to taper probably for a long time.  

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

Thanks @Chippy....i am trying to take one day at a time.  I really hope my mornings become better and normal...

 

I don't think I'm going to taper probably for a long time.  

I hope they do too mate. You’ll get there. 

Hi @Raymond  There's nothing wrong with holding for as long as it takes.  This isn't a race and we all progress at our own pace.  The key thing that overall you're making progress comapred to where you were months ago.  As Chippy said, you'll get there!

8 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/13/2026- ups and downs recovery process...

 

In the last two days, I continued to wake up at 530am.  Yesterday, I was able to push it until 730am.  Some days, I will wake up with the pressure in my head.

 

Yesterday, I was feeling with energy all day, but in the morning hours I was anxious as always.  

 

In the afternoon, I took like a 45 minutes nap.  Then, I took my kids to a birthday party which I kind of felt relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

 

I woke up today at 5am again but no head pressure and just head anxiety and little burning sensation.   I just feel off which I don't like, but it is part of the journey..

 

I only hope these feelings of hopeless goes away and start feeling better soon.

 

Six months holding and not able to taper again.  I don't know when I will taper again to come off this drug.   I hope my body stabilize better.

 

Next month, it's going to be my vacations, Soni hope to have a great time and hope these symptoms improve.

 

I continue to have a sleeping mess pattern and mornings continue to be off.  Lack of concentration up and down, muscle stiffness on and off, anxiousness, lack of motivation on and off, can't read much.

 

I spend my time trying to work while listening to podcasts or videos.

 

Let see how things improve.......days are feeling long again...

We would all wish to get to the other side quickly and be done with this awful burden but it's much more important to remain functional, the symptoms will continue to improve over time, little by little and we will all get there.

Keep up your admirable determination @Raymond you are doing amazing work.

 

Edited April 13Apr 13 by Fullhealing

9 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/13/2026- ups and downs recovery process...

 

In the last two days, I continued to wake up at 530am.  Yesterday, I was able to push it until 730am.  Some days, I will wake up with the pressure in my head.

 

Yesterday, I was feeling with energy all day, but in the morning hours I was anxious as always.  

 

In the afternoon, I took like a 45 minutes nap.  Then, I took my kids to a birthday party which I kind of felt relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

 

I woke up today at 5am again but no head pressure and just head anxiety and little burning sensation.   I just feel off which I don't like, but it is part of the journey..

 

I only hope these feelings of hopeless goes away and start feeling better soon.

 

Six months holding and not able to taper again.  I don't know when I will taper again to come off this drug.   I hope my body stabilize better.

 

Next month, it's going to be my vacations, Soni hope to have a great time and hope these symptoms improve.

 

I continue to have a sleeping mess pattern and mornings continue to be off.  Lack of concentration up and down, muscle stiffness on and off, anxiousness, lack of motivation on and off, can't read much.

 

I spend my time trying to work while listening to podcasts or videos.

 

Let see how things improve.......days are feeling long again...

Afternoon update....

 

One thing that it's positive is that instead of feeling anxious or anxiety in a stressful situation that I am experiencing, I just feel hot and tiny small anxiety sensation...

 

During stressful situations in the last couple of months, I will get this anxiety, burning, and all these thoughts none stop.

 

In the last week, I have noticed that I only get hot and fades away little quicker and I have more control of my mind ..I switch channels and I feel the reduction of my hot sensations....

 

I am not there yet, but I think this is positive and going into the right direction....

 

Also, my muscles stiffness comes and go and it's not as intense as it used too...

 

Won't complain...

04/14/2026- woke up from alarm and recovery process...

 

Yesterday, I was anxious or feeling hot and chest pressure/tightness on a off during the morning and afternoon.   I got theses symptoms for like 45 minutes.  Then gone, then came back for few minutes until gone in the late afternoon..

 

This morning, I woke up due to my alarm again at 530am.  I got used to this hour to do my prayers before starting to work.  

 

My head feels ok now.  Some intrusive thoughts, tiredness.  If I get anxious, I will see later during the day.  I'm going through some personal issues which I hope things will eventually resolve.

 

I still feel little work anxiety.  The work fear has faded away a lot more.

 

Concentration is on and off.

 

Feel muscle stiffness back of neck, but not painful.

 

Muscle stiffness on right arm on and off but not painful...

 

Let see how I end up feeling today.  My goal is to try to concentrate as much as I can.  Work and out headphones to listen to few podcasts, or even listen to movies while I work.... 😆 

 

My routine is the same every day to distract myself from this journey....

 

 

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

My routine is the same every day to distract myself from this journey....

 

Feel this one deeply Raymon! You are an inspiration my friend.