10 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/18/2026- second day taper.... slept more...

Yesterday was a good day after days or weeks feeling up and down. After my new taper dose, I felt all day my mind relaxed. I did have few thoughts on and off but no big deal. Those resolved quickly.

Today, after six months, I woke up do to my alarm at 630am. I did woke like two times between 10pm and 630am, but went back to sleep. I had two dreams and one was a religious dream with Jesus.

Overall, I'm in bed but getting ready to do few things today.

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

Afternoon update....

Another good day and I napped for am hour...

Just now, Raymond said:

Afternoon update....

Another good day and I napped for am hour...

Naps are great! We take a short one almost every day and I find that I'm recharged mentally and physically afterwards. And so glad ro see you have a great day. Hope there are many more to come!

04/19/2026- third day of my Tapering and recovery process...

Yesterday, I felt good all day with very minimal issues. I was able to take a nap for like an hour and half. I was able to do things around the house and stressful situations did not scared me or cause me anxiety. This was my second day feeling good.

At night, I went to sleep around 10pm, but around 1130pm, I suddenly woke up. It wasn't like a panic attack. I did not have fear. It was maybe a sudden panic of air hunger. It only caused me brain crawling sensation for like a second. It happened two times during the night. What I noticed was that I did not panic and the minute I woke, I shifted my mind and it just faded away quickly like in a second. It seems that I can control my mind a lot more.

I pretty much woke couple of times during the night with this brain crawling sensation or anxiety and went back to sleep right away.

I managed to sleep until 630am again

My morning fear is being very very minimal too. Most of my symptoms are feeling hot in few parts of body, and intrusive thoughts on and off, but brain feels relax so far ...

Let see how I end up today

In the name of Jesus, we will all heal...

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

04/19/2026- third day of my Tapering and recovery process...

Yesterday, I felt good all day with very minimal issues. I was able to take a nap for like an hour and half. I was able to do things around the house and stressful situations did not scared me or cause me anxiety. This was my second day feeling good.

At night, I went to sleep around 10pm, but around 1130pm, I suddenly woke up. It wasn't like a panic attack. I did not have fear. It was maybe a sudden panic of air hunger. It only caused me brain crawling sensation for like a second. It happened two times during the night. What I noticed was that I did not panic and the minute I woke, I shifted my mind and it just faded away quickly like in a second. It seems that I can control my mind a lot more.

I pretty much woke couple of times during the night with this brain crawling sensation or anxiety and went back to sleep right away.

I managed to sleep until 630am again

My morning fear is being very very minimal too. Most of my symptoms are feeling hot in few parts of body, and intrusive thoughts on and off, but brain feels relax so far ...

Let see how I end up today

In the name of Jesus, we will all heal...

Great news, @Raymond! Even though you had the sensations, you floated through them and got back to sleep. Hope you're having a blessed and peaceful Sunday!

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/19/2026- third day of my Tapering and recovery process...

Yesterday, I felt good all day with very minimal issues. I was able to take a nap for like an hour and half. I was able to do things around the house and stressful situations did not scared me or cause me anxiety. This was my second day feeling good.

At night, I went to sleep around 10pm, but around 1130pm, I suddenly woke up. It wasn't like a panic attack. I did not have fear. It was maybe a sudden panic of air hunger. It only caused me brain crawling sensation for like a second. It happened two times during the night. What I noticed was that I did not panic and the minute I woke, I shifted my mind and it just faded away quickly like in a second. It seems that I can control my mind a lot more.

I pretty much woke couple of times during the night with this brain crawling sensation or anxiety and went back to sleep right away.

I managed to sleep until 630am again

My morning fear is being very very minimal too. Most of my symptoms are feeling hot in few parts of body, and intrusive thoughts on and off, but brain feels relax so far ...

Let see how I end up today

In the name of Jesus, we will all heal...

Awesome news!! May it stays with more improvement along the way! very glad for you.

Edited April 19Apr 19 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

Great news, @Raymond! Even though you had the sensations, you floated through them and got back to sleep. Hope you're having a blessed and peaceful Sunday!

@mstimc60 ...thanks for your support.

I can deal with muscle pain, headache, brain fog, etc..but the fear sensation is what holds me. Once this is gone, I can manage everything else.

I will be holding again until I come back from vacation next month..... 😆 Then, I will consider slowly increasing my taper dose. I might stay between 3% to 5%.

Im hoping that the lower I get, my body will feel better and maybe few symptoms will just fade away as my body gets to work more natural without the effects of the drug.

Let see ..after my reduction, I got those symptoms last night but brain still feels relaxed...

I think as you continue your taper and your body adjusts, the fear sensations will decrease. When I'm anxious, I can feel my body tightening, and that feeds back into the anxiety loop. When I start relaxation or distraction practices. both my body and mind relaxes.

Edited April 19Apr 19 by mstimc60

13 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

think as you continue your taper and your body adjusts, the fear sensations will decrease. When I'm anxious, I can feel my body tightening,

This is what I'm hoping. The improvements I see so far us that I can control my mind a lot better. Fear is in the background and not every day. I only get this symptom in the morning hours. By the afternoon most symptoms are gone on a daily basis.

I followed the same pattern in recovery. That's when I realized that if my fears and perceived pain decreased in the afternoon, they didn't have a whole lot of power in the first place. That was a huge step in my recovery.

04/20/2026- continuing recovery process....

Yesterday, it was another good day all day. My brain relaxed and symptoms very minimal. I went to movies with the entire family after long time. I got busy and enjoyed the moment.

This morning, I woke up around 430am due to intrusive thoughts about my "TOXIC Mother in law". It gave me head pressure but no anxiety or crawling sensation. It was just the thoughts on and off until like 7am when things started to come down.

The positive side is that it seems I don't get high anxiety during stressful situations. Only head pressure that resolves quickly and after I switched mind. It's only morning hours too and by afternoon, I can think about it and it doesn't affectw me.

Another improvement is that I am no longer feeling work fear when taking to my boss. I no longer, so far, have those intrusive thoughts hacking my brain.

Also, instead of having anxiety, and hot sensations during stress, I am only experiencing hot sensation. I do sometimes get little chest pressure.

Overall, I am having a fourth day feeling better after my drop four days ago. On my second day after the drop, I did experienced a type of panic for a second.

If I don't get major issues, next month I will drop another.38% for now and hopefully, I will be able to increase to no more than 3% to 5%.

I have feeling that my body will feel better as I drop more...

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/20/2026- continuing recovery process....

Yesterday, it was another good day all day. My brain relaxed and symptoms very minimal. I went to movies with the entire family after long time. I got busy and enjoyed the moment.

This morning, I woke up around 430am due to intrusive thoughts about my "TOXIC Mother in law". It gave me head pressure but no anxiety or crawling sensation. It was just the thoughts on and off until like 7am when things started to come down.

The positive side is that it seems I don't get high anxiety during stressful situations. Only head pressure that resolves quickly and after I switched mind. It's only morning hours too and by afternoon, I can think about it and it doesn't affectw me.

Another improvement is that I am no longer feeling work fear when taking to my boss. I no longer, so far, have those intrusive thoughts hacking my brain.

Also, instead of having anxiety, and hot sensations during stress, I am only experiencing hot sensation. I do sometimes get little chest pressure.

Overall, I am having a fourth day feeling better after my drop four days ago. On my second day after the drop, I did experienced a type of panic for a second.

If I don't get major issues, next month I will drop another.38% for now and hopefully, I will be able to increase to no more than 3% to 5%.

I have feeling that my body will feel better as I drop more...

Afternoon update....

Another good day and fourth day in a row

Bad weather doesn't gives me anxiety

Work doesn't bother me anymore

Brain feels little tense, but body relaxed

Stressful situations can be handled a lot better and only makes me feel hot mostly in my back...

Overall, it's progress. Won't complain....

Great news, @Raymond ! You're really making progress--congratulations!

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update....

Another good day and fourth day in a row

Bad weather doesn't gives me anxiety

Work doesn't bother me anymore

Brain feels little tense, but body relaxed

Stressful situations can be handled a lot better and only makes me feel hot mostly in my back...

Overall, it's progress. Won't complain....

Good to read Raymon! 👍

9 hours ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update....

Another good day and fourth day in a row

Bad weather doesn't gives me anxiety

Work doesn't bother me anymore

Brain feels little tense, but body relaxed

Stressful situations can be handled a lot better and only makes me feel hot mostly in my back...

Overall, it's progress. Won't complain....

Awesome @Raymond keep walking bravely, you are doing great!

04/21/2026- 5th consecutive day feeling good....

I continue waking up 530am, but able to stay in bed and sleep little longer. My mornings are feeling more energized and positive with very rare and minimal morning fear.

After my .38% cut five days ago, I got minor symptoms in my second day, but I have been feeling good now for 5 consecutive days. It's being long time since I have felt this way.

Im not perfect, but good enough to work and do few things around the house and enjoy the time. Somethings I feel just a little enjoyment, but I'm still not there yet. I still experiencing few emotional numbness, but manageable.

The bad weather was a killer for me. It's being rainy for three days now and I feel good. I even feel like I want to stay in bed and just watch a movie or something, but I have to work...

Overall, after my drop, I have been better so far. I'm holding for four weeks and if I feel better, I will drop another tiny amount few more times before reducing bigger cuts. I need to start letting my body know that we are dropping....

Patience, patience and more patience. My goal is things goes well is to drop to 4mg by December 2026...

04/22/2026- 6th consecutive day feeling good and 16 months recovery process...

Yesterday was another good day. I only have physical pain here and there but manageable and specially the muscle pain moving around.

This morning, I woke up at 610am instead of 530am. No cortisol spike, no head pressure, but I did woke up with little headache on left top side of head and like left eye little pressure feeling.

Morning fear is very very very minimal.

Bad weather has not affected me

Concentration is better

Positive and morning motivation improved

Intrusive thoughts are just minimal

I feel more control of my mind

Few hot body sensation in different areas on and off and a lot less intense.

No boss fear sensation or anxiety

My main symptom this morning is the left eye pressure I feel and the left top headache which it is not bad.

6 consecutive days feeling better. Let see how things continue to improve before another tapering in three to four weeks...

I'm going to test my body. If next month, I start to feel little bad, I will reduce and see how it feels. The only reason, I might try is because in all my four taper, the moment I reduce, I feel better. Maybe, it might be a sign that when I feel bad for a week or so, the body is probably telling me to reduce again....

I will eventually test that theory later in the future...

This is so encouraging Raimund! I i’m happy for you.

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

04/22/2026- 6th consecutive day feeling good and 16 months recovery process...

Yesterday was another good day. I only have physical pain here and there but manageable and specially the muscle pain moving around.

This morning, I woke up at 610am instead of 530am. No cortisol spike, no head pressure, but I did woke up with little headache on left top side of head and like left eye little pressure feeling.

Morning fear is very very very minimal.

Bad weather has not affected me

Concentration is better

Positive and morning motivation improved

Intrusive thoughts are just minimal

I feel more control of my mind

Few hot body sensation in different areas on and off and a lot less intense.

No boss fear sensation or anxiety

My main symptom this morning is the left eye pressure I feel and the left top headache which it is not bad.

6 consecutive days feeling better. Let see how things continue to improve before another tapering in three to four weeks...

I'm going to test my body. If next month, I start to feel little bad, I will reduce and see how it feels. The only reason, I might try is because in all my four taper, the moment I reduce, I feel better. Maybe, it might be a sign that when I feel bad for a week or so, the body is probably telling me to reduce again....

I will eventually test that theory later in the future...

Afternoon update...

Muscle pain here and there, but manageable

And the little left top headache.

Overall, feeling still good...

Things are looking up--you're doing great, Raymond!

11 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update...

Muscle pain here and there, but manageable

And the little left top headache.

Overall, feeling still good...

Love that! 👏

Fantastic stuff! 😀

12 hours ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update...

Muscle pain here and there, but manageable

And the little left top headache.

Overall, feeling still good...

2am and I had to take an acetaminophen pill for headache. It started yesterday on left top head. In the evening it moved to right side and now it's move to forehead. It takes my sleep out..

10 minutes ago, Raymond said:

2am and I had to take an acetaminophen pill for headache. It started yesterday on left top head. In the evening it moved to right side and now it's move to forehead. It takes my sleep out..

Hope you get some more rest

4 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hope you get some more rest

Since I have been on this journey, I haven't had any pills for headaches, but last night, I did. After I took one pill, my headache fade away and was able to rest a little more.

04/23/2026- 7th consecutive day feeling good despite few physical symptoms....

Yesterday was another good day, but I was experiencing a headache on one side of head that shifted around all day. I think it was the only major issue I had, but I was able to work, concentrate, no boss fear, no other psychological symptoms.

Last night, I had to take an acetaminophen medication that it is more natural and it worked on my headache. After that, I was able to some how sleep more. I said somehow because I have nine puppies crying all night long. I need to get rid of them and hoping to find good homes for them.

Currently, I feel better in the mornings. My morning fear is fading away and I feel more morning positive and motivated.

It's my 7 consecutive day feeling good with more psychical symptoms than psychological.

Muscle pain on my shoulder and arms moving around and on neck area.

After my dose reduction, second day I experienced nocturnal minimal panic two times, 6 day more muscle pain and headache.

Other than that, I feel so far good. As mornings move on, I feel better.

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.

Keep moving forward....