5 hours ago, Richie said:

Loving the upwards trend @Raymond

 

you got this bro 

 

🙏❤️👊

Thanks, it seems the symptoms are weakening, and getting shorter....

 

Im currently a little anxious but a lot less intense.,...

10 hours ago, Raymond said:

Yesterday was a good day.  I went to a little birthday party and enjoyed.  I was able to do few things in the morning as well. Just very minimal symptoms.

 

This morning, I woke up a little bit earlier than normal, but no cortisol, n head pressure, no burning sensation, no anxiety sensation, only little bit of intrusive thoughts about old friends.  It's weird that I have being having these old school friends thoughts.....but it's probably part of the brain healing process...

 

This sounds really good. I am very happy for you. I have been waking up with no cortisol rush this morning either. What a difference! 
May it go on like this for you. 
 

02/23/2026-🫠 cortisol and recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok and good day.  I had a personal stressor that I am dealing with, but I have noticed I don't get into high anxiety so far.  But all day was pretty good...

 

I went to sleep very early.  It was like 830pm when I went to bed.  I woke up few times during the night around 230am, 3,40am and woke up with cortisol sensation at 530am.  Again, the minute I woke up, it was gone. I started to feel little crawling sensation on top of head, intrusive thoughts, and little head pressure, but not intense as it used to be.   It's Monday so I guess I was expecting it as every Monday for some reason, I get this feeling.

 

One thing I have noticed these past days is the instead of getting anxiety sensation on top of skull, I get like a itchy skin on head and tingling sensation on brain.  Those good sensations when someone plays with your hair, and my brain feels more relaxed and like free.  

 

I will update as my day goes on....I am getting ready to do my hour prayer before starting to work.

 

Let's pray to Jesus Christ for a miracle...

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/23/2026-🫠 cortisol and recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok and good day.  I had a personal stressor that I am dealing with, but I have noticed I don't get into high anxiety so far.  But all day was pretty good...

 

I went to sleep very early.  It was like 830pm when I went to bed.  I woke up few times during the night around 230am, 3,40am and woke up with cortisol sensation at 530am.  Again, the minute I woke up, it was gone. I started to feel little crawling sensation on top of head, intrusive thoughts, and little head pressure, but not intense as it used to be.   It's Monday so I guess I was expecting it as every Monday for some reason, I get this feeling.

 

One thing I have noticed these past days is the instead of getting anxiety sensation on top of skull, I get like a itchy skin on head and tingling sensation on brain.  Those good sensations when someone plays with your hair, and my brain feels more relaxed and like free.  

 

I will update as my day goes on....I am getting ready to do my hour prayer before starting to work.

 

Let's pray to Jesus Christ for a miracle...

Morning update....

Little bit anxious, but very manageable. This is due to some issues we have with my mother in law, but it seems that I am able to handle stress a lot better....this is an improvement.  I still feel anxiety around the body, but like in the background.  I don't have that strong anxiety or burning sensation.  It does goes away when I shift my mind....

 

I have been very busy with work and able to concentrate.

 

It seems that headache might want to come back, but let see in the next few hours.

 

The skull tingling sensation on and off and moving around but very minimal.

Motivated 

No sadness 

Energized but tired at the same time...

Ready for a walk later.

I do feel my brain is more relax and feels freedom. I can't describe it, but it feels like I got released from 12 years in jail....I just feel it good...

 

Ok, let see how I end up today as time continues moving on...

 

On 2/23/2026 at 6:01 AM, Raymond said:

02/23/2026-🫠 cortisol and recovery process...

 

Yesterday was ok and good day.  I had a personal stressor that I am dealing with, but I have noticed I don't get into high anxiety so far.  But all day was pretty good...

 

I went to sleep very early.  It was like 830pm when I went to bed.  I woke up few times during the night around 230am, 3,40am and woke up with cortisol sensation at 530am.  Again, the minute I woke up, it was gone. I started to feel little crawling sensation on top of head, intrusive thoughts, and little head pressure, but not intense as it used to be.   It's Monday so I guess I was expecting it as every Monday for some reason, I get this feeling.

 

One thing I have noticed these past days is the instead of getting anxiety sensation on top of skull, I get like a itchy skin on head and tingling sensation on brain.  Those good sensations when someone plays with your hair, and my brain feels more relaxed and like free.  

 

I will update as my day goes on....I am getting ready to do my hour prayer before starting to work.

 

Let's pray to Jesus Christ for a miracle...

Morning update....

Little bit anxious, but very manageable. This is due to some issues we have with my mother in law, but it seems that I am able to handle stress a lot better....this is an improvement.  I still feel anxiety around the body, but like in the background.  I don't have that strong anxiety or burning sensation.  It does goes away when I shift my mind....

 

I have been very busy with work and able to concentrate.

 

It seems that headache might want to come back, but let see in the next few hours.

 

The skull tingling sensation on and off and moving around but very minimal.

Motivated 

No sadness 

Energized but tired at the same time...

Ready for a walk later.

I do feel my brain is more relax and feels freedom. I can't describe it, but it feels like I got released from 12 years in jail....I just feel it good...

 

Ok, let see how I end up today as time continues moving on...

 

02/24/2026- recovery process continues...

 

Yesterday was another good day with minimal symptoms.  I went to sleep around 830pm again and woke up 5am with two wakes up between this time.  Lately, I have been going to sleep earlier than usual.  I am just following what my body wants to do.

 

This morning, I woke up with energy but with little morning anxiety and fear sensation.  It's a lot less intense and it usually improves with few hours.  I currently feel like little anxious on chest area and little hot on my back middle area.  

 

It seems that I have little work anxiety again this morning.  It will fade away again, but it's a bothering symptom.  I hope to feel work normal again...

 

Other than that,

I have enjoyed hot tubs again so far

I can meditate again

I still have motivation and energy 

I feel my brain a lot better 

The anxiety on top head turned to tingling and itching sensation moving around on and off.

Despite waking up early, I am sleeping better and body getting to sleep earlier.  

Muscle stiffness and pain gone.

Nerve pain a lot less intense and it's on and off, but not every day.

My right foot pain gone

Morning fear only comes once in a while and a lot less intense.

Intrusive thoughts minimal and a lot less intense.

Handling stress has improved, but I still get a little anxious.

Work fear sensation reduce and it's being fading away slowly...

My headache is being gone again for days.  

 

I'm still holding at 4.79mg and will continue holding until body feels better longer periods.  Right now, I can say that I get about between 6 to 8 days feeling good before having symptoms again.  Also, it seems that symptoms resolving little quicker too.

 

My mornings are getting slowly better.  I mostly get symptoms between 7 to 9am before I start to improve again.  

 

14 months on this journey and will probably hold until June.  

 

I just want to see how far my body stabilize before Tapering again...

 

Oh and something I forgot to mention....it's being days now that I'm able to even stretch out my body when I'm waking up.  I couldn't even do that during this journey....

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Raymond
Adding comments

37 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

Little bit anxious, but very manageable. This is due to some issues we have with my mother in law, but it seems that I am able to handle stress a lot better....this is an improvement.  I still feel anxiety around the body, but like in the background.  I don't have that strong anxiety or burning sensation.  It does goes away when I shift my mind....

 

I have been very busy with work and able to concentrate.

 

It seems that headache might want to come back, but let see in the next few hours.

 

The skull tingling sensation on and off and moving around but very minimal.

Motivated 

No sadness 

Energized but tired at the same time...

Ready for a walk later.

I do feel my brain is more relax and feels freedom. I can't describe it, but it feels like I got released from 12 years in jail....I just feel it good...

 

Ok, let see how I end up today as time continues moving on...

 

Getting there @Raymond! 🙂

I’m gonna call you the hold King!🤴 

2 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Getting there @Raymond! 🙂

I’m gonna call you the hold King!🤴 

Hey my friend..... 😂 This is a crazy journey for sure and thanks to you all, I am able to continue.  This support is very important for us ..

 

I just updated my comments for today and I have noticed in the last few days, I am able to stretch my body before waking up.  I couldn't even do that during this journey....

 

Staying positive....

 

How is your journey going so far?

17 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Hey my friend..... 😂 This is a crazy journey for sure and thanks to you all, I am able to continue.  This support is very important for us ..

 

I just updated my comments for today and I have noticed in the last few days, I am able to stretch my body before waking up.  I couldn't even do that during this journey....

 

Staying positive....

 

How is your journey going so far?

Ah this so good to hear! More improvement. 🙂
 

Im ok mate. Slowly crawling my way to victory!

02/25/2026- recovery process....

 

Yesterday was a good day despite of feeling little bit anxious part of the day.  My mind was relax, but body was little anxious.  

 

I went to sleep again around 830pm.  This is the third time this week and continued sleeping until like 430am and back until like 530am.   I think it's part of the sleeping patterns that are improving.   I usually don't go to sleep like until 1030pm. But these last days 830pm, I'm already sleepy....8 hours of sleep. I usually sleep between 5 to 6 hours.  I had one nonsense dream.

 

Now, I just feel like staying in bed, but I need to start getting ready to work.

 

I continue having itchy head 

Tingling sensation on top of head that makes me feel good

Anxiousness body like minimal on and off

I have enjoyment for few activities but not for others and sometimes and most of the time without pleasure...weird to enjoy doing something but no pleasure sensation...

 

Motivation is good

Energy is good

Morning fear minimal like a background noise.

Work fear sensation gone.  I just get little stress when boss wants to talk to me.  My body still have lingering symptoms but it's improving a lot better...

Muscle stiffness and pain a lot better.  I might feel few muscles here and there but not intense.

Headache gone so far.

 

I continue to feel blah in the mornings..

 

In the name of Jesus, we will all get better... healing is coming...

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/25/2026- recovery process....

 

Yesterday was a good day despite of feeling little bit anxious part of the day.  My mind was relax, but body was little anxious.  

 

I went to sleep again around 830pm.  This is the third time this week and continued sleeping until like 430am and back until like 530am.   I think it's part of the sleeping patterns that are improving.   I usually don't go to sleep like until 1030pm. But these last days 830pm, I'm already sleepy....8 hours of sleep. I usually sleep between 5 to 6 hours.  I had one nonsense dream.

 

Now, I just feel like staying in bed, but I need to start getting ready to work.

 

I continue having itchy head 

Tingling sensation on top of head that makes me feel good

Anxiousness body like minimal on and off

I have enjoyment for few activities but not for others and sometimes and most of the time without pleasure...weird to enjoy doing something but no pleasure sensation...

 

Motivation is good

Energy is good

Morning fear minimal like a background noise.

Work fear sensation gone.  I just get little stress when boss wants to talk to me.  My body still have lingering symptoms but it's improving a lot better...

Muscle stiffness and pain a lot better.  I might feel few muscles here and there but not intense.

Headache gone so far.

 

I continue to feel blah in the mornings..

 

In the name of Jesus, we will all get better... healing is coming...

Morning update 

Anxious and lack of concentration 

Unmotivated again 

Sadness feelings 

7 minutes ago, Raymond said:

itchy head

I get this along with other itching if I am having histamine issues from food.

8 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Unmotivated again

This is a huge one for me... never had this before the drug started to poop out and then CT.

9 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Sadness feelings

Again, I was never a person that felt depressed but since the CT...I have this.

It really is the drug that has done this to do many of us. Time and patience. Sending hugs. ❤️🙏

Glad you are improving even though there are quite a few challenges along the way, you are making amazing progress.

Thanks for the regular updates Raymond, it gives me something to look forward to.

47 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Glad you are improving even though there are quite a few challenges along the way, you are making amazing progress.

Thanks for the regular updates Raymond, it gives me something to look forward to.

Thanks for the support. I really hope you get better as well.  We should not be suffering from this ..

 

I'm hitting a bumpy ride today....it will pass...

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

I get this along with other itching if I am having histamine issues from food.

This is a huge one for me... never had this before the drug started to poop out and then CT.

Again, I was never a person that felt depressed but since the CT...I have this.

It really is the drug that has done this to do many of us. Time and patience. Sending hugs. ❤️🙏

@LostinCanada...thank you my friend.

 

Yes, I was never like this before the drug and today is one of the bad days for me feeling this emptiness and sadness on chest, but I most continue moving and try to do my best at work.

 

On the positive side, I have been experiencing positive symptoms like hugging my family.  I now feel that love that I lost during medication l....

 

Hugs to you too my friend.   Like you said, time and patience.....im holding long enough.  

 

I think today is the only day in this bumpy ride for this month.  I have had just few smaller rides during this month and few improvement too. ...

 

 

Edited February 25Feb 25 by Raymond
Adding comments

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update 

Anxious and lack of concentration 

Unmotivated again 

Sadness feelings 

It's definitely a little worst day today.  I noticed it yesterday and I really hate the few of exaggerating anxiety.....

 

24 days with two minor symptoms and one bad day in this time....not bad...

 

More healing on the way.....

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

It's definitely a little worst day today.  I noticed it yesterday and I really hate the few of exaggerating anxiety.....

 

24 days with two minor symptoms and one bad day in this time....not bad...

 

More healing on the way.....

Back headache from neck to head.  I can't move head to much from side to side to avoid the pain.  Feeling sad and unmotivated.     Going to bed early and hoping tomorrow my energy come back...also ears popping out pressure and little head pressure....all due to my stupid job exaggerating stress symptoms....

 

It is what it is.  Another day might come brighter in the future....

02/26/2026- 🤒 recovery process continues...

 

Yesterday was a bad day.  I was on a wave and my job created even more intense feelings.  I felt sad all day, unmotivated, lack of energy, a headache in the evening, lack of concentration, head pressure on and off.

 

I went to sleep around 1030pm just to wake up at 230am with fear sensation, intrusive thoughts, and a head pressure on and off.  The fear sensation comes on and off.  It is felt in the middle of head area.  When intrusive thoughts comes, it give me head pressure and like little burning sensation in few parts of body.  It's like a little panic.

 

I am calling sick again today.   I really hope things will get better again.   It's hard to work like this, but I have to manage all of it until, I get better...

 

It's unbelievable what this medications can do to us.  I was never like this before and I hope God give me strength to continue the journey and be able to work more normal...

 

14 months on this journey and after feeling mostly good, I feel going back.

 

I hope to see a window again soon and I hope this exaggerating symptoms minimize a,lot quicker...

 

Unfortunately, I will have to take day off to probably cray out and relax today.  I have to avoid stress...

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, I hope I get better soon.....

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

02/26/2026- 🤒 recovery process continues...

 

Yesterday was a bad day.  I was on a wave and my job created even more intense feelings.  I felt sad all day, unmotivated, lack of energy, a headache in the evening, lack of concentration, head pressure on and off.

 

I went to sleep around 1030pm just to wake up at 230am with fear sensation, intrusive thoughts, and a head pressure on and off.  The fear sensation comes on and off.  It is felt in the middle of head area.  When intrusive thoughts comes, it give me head pressure and like little burning sensation in few parts of body.  It's like a little panic.

 

I am calling sick again today.   I really hope things will get better again.   It's hard to work like this, but I have to manage all of it until, I get better...

 

It's unbelievable what this medications can do to us.  I was never like this before and I hope God give me strength to continue the journey and be able to work more normal...

 

14 months on this journey and after feeling mostly good, I feel going back.

 

I hope to see a window again soon and I hope this exaggerating symptoms minimize a,lot quicker...

 

Unfortunately, I will have to take day off to probably cray out and relax today.  I have to avoid stress...

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, I hope I get better soon.....

Morning update....

 

Well, I decided to work even though I am not here.  I also talked to my boss to request FMLA documents just to cover myself in case I need to miss work due to waves...I think its the best even though I am just planning try no to use it, but if I do, at least, I have there to cover myself...

 

Symptoms worst than yesterday.  I had crying spells.....it's being many months without this ...

 

I hope windows are quicker on my 14 months journey....

 

Despite of it, I feel less sadness today and little bit more motivated and little more energy, but still feel little chest emptyness, stomach anxious...

Sending love and hugs @Raymond

It's so brutal... remember the waves are necessary when recalibrating.... it's hard to just let the symptoms flow...try to relax and distract as much as you can.

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

 

Well, I decided to work even though I am not here.  I also talked to my boss to request FMLA documents just to cover myself in case I need to miss work due to waves...I think its the best even though I am just planning try no to use it, but if I do, at least, I have there to cover myself...

 

Symptoms worst than yesterday.  I had crying spells.....it's being many months without this ...

 

I hope windows are quicker on my 14 months journey....

 

Despite of it, I feel less sadness today and little bit more motivated and little more energy, but still feel little chest emptyness, stomach anxious...

So sorry @Raymond for the nasty stormy day, that's really draining.

you're doing great and coping so well despite, hang in there, it will pass.

Sending lots of wellness your way🙏

8 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Sending love and hugs @Raymond

It's so brutal... remember the waves are necessary when recalibrating.... it's hard to just let the symptoms flow...try to relax and distract as much as you can.

Thanks my friend @LostinCanada.  It is beyond brutal....I had to request the documents for FMLA.  If I'm approved, I will just save the dates for those terrible days.

 

I'm just impressed that all these months and holding, I felt worst yesterday and today.... although today I feel little more energy.   The chest fatigue is just bad 😞 and emotions came back....14 months and I thought I was good.   I guess I'm on a deeper healing...

Sending a hug, @Raymond.

Svetla

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

 

Well, I decided to work even though I am not here.  I also talked to my boss to request FMLA documents just to cover myself in case I need to miss work due to waves...I think its the best even though I am just planning try no to use it, but if I do, at least, I have there to cover myself...

 

Symptoms worst than yesterday.  I had crying spells.....it's being many months without this ...

 

I hope windows are quicker on my 14 months journey....

 

Despite of it, I feel less sadness today and little bit more motivated and little more energy, but still feel little chest emptyness, stomach anxious...

Afternoon update..... little better 

 

My stomach is back on gasses and feeling blah.  It is definitely the cause of this fear and anxiety today.   I have noticed that after many many weeks feeling good in my gut, my stomach started to feel weird on Tuesday, Wednesday, and now it just feel heavy and gasses...

 

And I also have like a buzzing noise in my ears.   Definitely, more healing on the way....

 

Gut and brain connection...

Edited February 26Feb 26 by Raymond
Adding comments

@Raymond I admire your way at turning what you have experienced today to “more healing” …. 

Thank you for sharing. It’s easy to say: “this too will pass”, much harder to believe it when the wave is rolling. 
You seems so strong and extremely patient. 🙏💕