I’m just not beating this fear and all the others that bombaard me daily constantly

28 minutes ago, Need to End said:

I’m just not beating this fear and all the others that bombaard me daily constantly

Don’t fight them. Accept they’ll come but there’s no need to give them a home. They are thoughts, and thoughts have only the power you give them.

Ok what do I do about the physical response and how to I deal with this fear if everything falling apart / leaving me / abandoning me etc…

I’m not comfortable in my own home or office. I don’t even feel like I’m present in my life and see no way for things to work out.

Use physical coping like controlled breathing or light exercise like simple tai chi will help burn the excess energy your anxiety is creating. There are lots of CBT and ERP techniques to help with ruminating We’ve shared them with you before and you can search the recovery forum for tools that work for you. The worst thing you can do is tell yourself there’s nothing you can do.

Hi all - I had my monthly meeting with my taper coach. She wasn't pleased that I have continued to taper from 1.84 at our last meeting to 1.55 today. She and I ended the call last month with the understanding I would hold however I just kept tapering down. My fear is that I will not stabilize and so holding is just me losing more time in my life so I have kept pushing.

I am struggling because she thinks its me not trusting her and really it was because I don't feel like I will stabilize and can't afford to lose more and more time. This has already been a long long process. She told me that everyone stabilizes it just has not been true for me.

@Gaucho what are your thoughts on the above ?

8 hours ago, Need to End said:

@Gaucho what are your thoughts on the above ?

I can understand why your coach recommended holding, and I think it's not unreasonable based on the possibility that withdrawal is a significant contributor to how you're feeling. But still, I also understand why you've continued tapering and you've been doing so gradually and carefully. You've spent a long time holding at various points (for months at times) without noticing any sign of improvement, and you've confidently and repeatedly described feeling markedly worse since starting Prozac than you did before it. That doesn't prove Prozac is the main problem, but it makes it understandable why you're questioning whether a prolonged hold will produce a different result.

I really don't see this as an issue of not trusting your coach. It seems to me more like you've been weighing her recommendation against your own lived experience. That's different from simply dismissing her advice. You're trying to make the best decision you can with incomplete information, and unfortunately that's the spot many people in complicated tapers find themselves in.

I'm wondering if your taper coach is aware of your tapering Klonopin. I don't know if you sense any difference yet in how your feel at .75 mg now vs 1 mg. I'm a bit nervous that you are doing both tapers at the same time. It's not to say it's "dangerous", but it could put more strain on your system and also make it difficult to know what attribute to each taper.

Lastly, and importantly, I want to be sure that you caught what @Chippy advised you a short while ago. And that was to invest in a scale for your Klonopin taper, if you plan to continue with that. Breaking up your doses by hand can lead to meaningful inaccuracies, which can become more impactful the lower you get. We're not saying to be perfect at measuring out your doses, but you really should aim for accuracy, particularly when reducing a med as potent as Klonopin.

Edited July 2Jul 2 by Gaucho

okay thank you. I guess I don't know what to do with the hold. Maybe a 3 week hold just to see?

3 hours ago, Need to End said:

okay thank you. I guess I don't know what to do with the hold. Maybe a 3 week hold just to see?

I'm assuming here you are talking about a 3-week hold of your Prozac and not your Klonopin. I think it would be a reasonable test. I'd recommend holding your dosage of Klonopin too over the same period at .75 mg so you can get a better picture of what just the Prozac is doing. A test like this will give you something to report to your taper coach as well.

A quick question for you: When you started Prozac 2 years ago, did you immediately start tapering it or was there some time before you made your first reduction of it, and if so, was there a noticeable change in your symptoms or you basically felt the same as before the reduction?

I swotched to Prozac form the other multiple drug switches then immediately began tapering down from 20mg

6 hours ago, Need to End said:

I swotched to Prozac form the other multiple drug switches then immediately began tapering down from 20mg

Unfortunately N2E I think what has happened here is that the switch didn't work for you. This is common move from doctors to 'bridge' you to prozac for your taper, but many don't react well to the switch and it would have probably been better to return to your OG drug at that point and stablise rather than taper.

I agree with @Gaucho I would not taper both at the same time. Give your system a little time to settle down.

Ok so what does that mean for me now? Do I have any chance of a hold helping? I really don’t want to hold forever

You seem to be creating a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. You're telling yourself you're too old to rebound, that others are looking down on you, that holding your dose for a few weeks will just make things worse, etc. All of these feelings have one thing in common; you're projecting fears into a future that hasn't happened yet and may never happen. On a practical level, ask yourself where this constant cycle of doubt and self-blame has got you. Has it brought you any closer to recovery? Has it helped you deal with your ruminations? You are still the same person you were, with the same talents and abilities. The only thing all this negative thinking has accomplished is to slow your recovery and keep you locked in a constant cycle of doubt and fear.

@Need to End ,

I appreciate you answering the questions I post for you. I know you're really struggling and fielding questions is not always easy, but I'm asking them for a reason and not just out of curiosity.

One question that I think might help us better understand your situation:

When you first started Prozac at 20 mg 2 years ago, why did you begin tapering it right away?

1. Prozac itself seemed to make me feel significantly worse.

2. Prozac didn't seem to make me significantly worse, but I started tapering because that was the plan to begin with.

3. Other (Please briefly explain)

Thank you.

I had crashed from tapering a previous ssri too fast and was not doing well. Was working to figure out how to fix it and was switched around to a few diff ssri’s and nothing was settling so we went to Prozac to taper.

@Gaucho I answered above. I’m so confused on holding versus continuing to drop.

16 minutes ago, Need to End said:

@Gaucho I answered above. I’m so confused on holding versus continuing to drop.

I understand completely. It's a hard call and neither choice means something bad will happen, but I thought for now the plan was to test out the 3-week hold you had proposed.

You recently described to me that you were destabilized and not "feeling well" since the Zoloft "crash". I'm trying to determine how much of what you are experiencing now stems from that vs how much stems from your Prozac itself.

So to start, I'm trying to better understand the timeline of what happened to you. Which of these seems to fit your experience best?:

A) The biggest change happened after I crashed tapering Zoloft, and things never really settled after that despite the medication changes.

B) I felt bad after the Zoloft crash, but things became noticeably worse after I started Prozac, even before I made any meaningful reductions.

C) Other (if neither of these fits, could you briefly explain what happened instead?).

@Gaucho Both A and B which I know is not helpful. It changed. I went from very anxious and shaking and vomiting then Prozac add SI and depression. I didn’t feel SI and depression until Prozac. Vomiting is much less and has been absent for a while now. I think I had serotonin syndrome or something. For a while as I was throwing up before Prozac in the morning upon waking and at the gym. It’s been so miserable the whole time it’s hard to decipher honestly. It definitely has shifted to anxiety SI depression hopelessness on Prozac . Is that the Prozac or is that because the process has worn me down ….

Edited July 4Jul 4 by Need to End

On 7/4/2026 at 3:33 AM, Need to End said:

@Gaucho Both A and B which I know is not helpful. It changed. I went from very anxious and shaking and vomiting then Prozac add SI and depression. I didn’t feel SI and depression until Prozac. Vomiting is much less and has been absent for a while now. I think I had serotonin syndrome or something. For a while as I was throwing up before Prozac in the morning upon waking and at the gym. It’s been so miserable the whole time it’s hard to decipher honestly. It definitely has shifted to anxiety SI depression hopelessness on Prozac . Is that the Prozac or is that because the process has worn me down ….

For me it seems clear that your nervous system was already destabilised before you switched to Prozac, and it's not prozac itself that you are having a reaction to. When the nervous system is upset, switching drugs, moving doses around etc causing Kindling.

Once you get off all the drugs your nervous system can finished the healing process that it has already started now. The main thing to focus on is getting off as carefully as you can. So I would not taper two drugs at once, and Taper cautiously as you have been putting a little hold here and there if you feel things have worsened. I don't think you can get fully stable personally on the drugs as I think much of what you are suffering with is an agravated nervous system rather than a reaction to one drug. The drugs are probably further agravating you I would think, but stopping them too quickly is likley worse.

So in short I think you are doing the right thing, tapering carefully off your drugs rather than holding for a prolonged period of time.

On 7/3/2026 at 9:33 PM, Need to End said:

@Gaucho Both A and B which I know is not helpful. It changed. I went from very anxious and shaking and vomiting then Prozac add SI and depression. I didn’t feel SI and depression until Prozac. Vomiting is much less and has been absent for a while now. I think I had serotonin syndrome or something. For a while as I was throwing up before Prozac in the morning upon waking and at the gym. It’s been so miserable the whole time it’s hard to decipher honestly. It definitely has shifted to anxiety SI depression hopelessness on Prozac . Is that the Prozac or is that because the process has worn me down ….

I think @Chippy outlined your situation quite well in his reply to you.

I appreciate your answering my question. Here's how I see it as far as where you are and where you've come from:

1. Initial major destabilization

   • Rapid Zoloft taper resulting in the "crash".

2. Failure to restabilize

   • Multiple SSRI trials and switches, including meds previously taken.

3. Prozac

   • Possibly never a good fit, and as you've said, "bad from Day 1".

   • Apparently this med has shifted your symptom profile toward severe depression/SI. Worse in an "existential" way, as you've described it.

   • May be acting as an ongoing aggravator.

4. Life stressors

   • Divorce, finances, work concerns, bereavement, etc.

   • These would challenge almost anyone, let alone someone whose CNS is already destabilized.

   • Stressors of this magnitude may not have been present during the pre-Prozac period, although reasons

     for your starting and taking Zoloft for many years and its discontinuation are unknown.

5. Ongoing taper of Prozac

   • Possibly adds some stress to the system.

   • But may not be the dominant driver of how you feel day to day, as you have repeatedly said that you feel

     the same before and after your reductions.

____________________________________________________________________________________

I'd continue tapering down Prozac as you've been doing. A slow, steady taper would be the way to proceed so as to not disrupt further what's very likely an underlying destabilized system that's ongoing from the pre-Prozac period. If Prozac is an aggravator, chipping it down gradually is the best strategy.

Lastly, if you could, I'd like you to answer a question that could provide more insight into your situation and how to move forward:

Why, as you mentioned earlier, was Prozac tapered immediately after it was started?

A) The plan from the beginning was to use Prozac as a bridge for tapering, so starting to taper it immediately after I began taking it was going by plan.

B) My doctor recommended tapering it because I seemed to react badly to Prozac itself from the start (feeling worse from "Day 1").

C) I was the one who wanted to start tapering it right away because I wanted to get off it, regardless of whether my doctor thought it was necessary.

D) Other (please explain).

Edited July 5Jul 5 by Gaucho

@Gaucho mostly A. I switched from Zoloft to lexapro. Then after 6 Months fast tapered lexapro. 6 weeks later crashed. Then went on Zoloft again, lexapro again, nothing helped. So they tried Prozac with the goal being to get off since things were not going well. I did not understand tapering etc… at this point yet.

@Chippy @Gaucho tysm. It gets confusing so I appreciate this. My coach says everyone stabilizes and I just don’t feel like I do

On 7/3/2026 at 9:33 PM, Need to End said:

Is that the Prozac or is that because the process has worn me down ….

Good question. It could be either, but more likely both. You've been struggling for months and that would exhaust anyone. Again, you've had major stressors during this time and have been in no condition to deal with them, and they'd be very hard to deal with even in a stable state.

Prozac could be playing a part in this, but what I'm not hearing is it went off "like a bomb' for you when you started taking it. I'm not hearing a fast reaction to it like you had experienced years ago when you first tried it and after a short while ended up in a severely acute state of panic. It's clear to me that Prozac was tried but never worked for you, never stabilized your system which had been destabilized from the time of your "crash" and through a couple more failed attempts to stabilize you. You chose A) from the mulitple choice list, indicating it was, for the most part, the case that the taper started because that was the plan. Had you picked B), indicating Prozac had worsened things for you at the start, I'd be more inclined to say that Prozac itself could be the main driving cause, but I'm giving your "crash" and the following short med trials more weight than I had been before your latest two replies.

I think your "crash' may be better described as a "bomb exploding." I believe that you are still feeling the fallout from that. So I'm sincerely hoping that if you continue tapering as you have been, the reductions will reduce what very well could be the aggravating Prozac and along with the passage of time as you do that, your system will find more and more stability.

@Gaucho Ty. So much if this is hard to recall in detail accurately as memory is tough during this and it’s been a long time. When I started Prozac this time I was already in rough shape but things def shifted-

I was able to take my son out to a place he likes to get food today and no tears until we got hone. Normally that kind of thing would be extremely difficult. It was sad driving around the places we’d go pre crash and pre business changes and pre divorce - I hope that’s not always going to be so damn sad. I used to love being out and about with out a worry in the world. Very different now.

Edited July 6Jul 6 by Need to End