4 hours ago, Need to End said:

Ok I’ll hold off. I just want to get that dose down so bad.

Ok I think this is wise.

4 hours ago, Need to End said:

I did not get scales yet : (

This is VERY important please do it asap.

Hi guys the hopelessness and depression and feeling like it’s too late to get my life back is overwhelming today. I’m sorry just needed to connect with someone as I’m struggling alone per usual.

Just now, Need to End said:

Hi guys the hopelessness and depression and feeling like it’s too late to get my life back is overwhelming today. I’m sorry just needed to connect with someone as I’m struggling alone per usual.

That feeling is just noise created by your anxious mind to keep you in its grip. I think intellectually you know none of it is true. I was your age when I was in WD and recovery and I hardly regard my life as a failure. Try to concentrate on the small windows you've had and use positive affirmations to counter the incessant negative thinking.

Ty. I keep seeing younger people with so much ahead of them or people my age that didn’t have this kind of set back in every single area. Of my life and wonder how the hell I get back tj where I want. Intellectually my brain is calculating it all to be true but I still want so much more so it’s really sad and depressing. I don’t know what to do to shake this. This hold also feels pointless.

Hi guys I’m having a night where it feels like it’s all going to implode. Anxiety is high feels like I’m going to lose ev - money, relationship, house my kind is spiraling. And finding very convincing arguments. I’m holding still at 1.55 this has to calm down.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling.

Your health and healing journey is the most important thing right now. Hang in there.

Ty. I am but I don’t feel like I can much longer rn : (. This feels so heavy

I know exactly how you feel. Our lives have been put on hold. Perhaps changed to a great degree, I think the real reason of all of this is not to let what happened to us define us.

We will heal.and when we do we’ll have a completely different outlook on life. A lot of things will look very trivial then.

Do you all ever feel like not being here like it’s unbearable at times?

I’m sorry I feel like I’m Debbie downer on here and it scares people. The depression is hitting hard. I’m still holding for day 14. Everything seems to be leaving me in this life and it sucks because outside of this chemical ssri crap none of it would leave. Things and people I love very much.

8 minutes ago, Need to End said:

I’m sorry I feel like I’m Debbie downer on here and it scares people. The depression is hitting hard. I’m still holding for day 14. Everything seems to be leaving me in this life and it sucks because outside of this chemical ssri crap none of it would leave. Things and people I love very much.

You’re not scaring anyone away. We all understand what you’re going through and we’re here to support you. Take it day by day. That’s the best you can do till you’re able to practice coping methods.

I feel so alone and like this depression and fear is permanent.

4 minutes ago, Need to End said:

I feel so alone and like this depression and fear is permanent.

It’s not permanent. But constantly going down the same road of ruminations, guilt and negative thinking isn’t helping you make any progress. You need to start working on ways of breaking your thought habits.

These thoughts aren’t who you are or who you will be. Your nervous system has been knocked off its foundations by meds and dealing with life events. It’s going to take time for you to feel centered again but it will come. None of this is your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing what you need to do to recover.

Edited July 14Jul 14 by mstimc60

23 hours ago, Need to End said:

Do you all ever feel like not being here like it’s unbearable at times?

I just wanna say, you aren't alone in this. Honestly, there is no better advice that "This too shall pass".

Despite all this scary stuff seemingly lasting forever, it will get better. Just do the bare minimum to survive the next day. Forget any self-placed responsibilities, pressures, or dreams that aren't super important and immediate, and just focus on surviving the night.

You aren't alone, if you have nobody around you to support, witness, or even just hear you, you do have this website.

Just focus on how you can make the present moment a tiny bit nicer for yourself. That's what I do.

My life was completely changed from this experience but I preserved and asked for help. I got better and things got easier. Then I made mistakes and lost it all. So I'll try again.

But that's life. You just go through it. The possibility that it does get better is all you need to keep fighting. That's all it takes for things to actually get better.

@Need to End believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel. The sheer desperation is something that is hard to describe. The hopelessness is so dark and you get convinced that this is it. Its all over. But it passes. It ALWAYS passes. Will it return? Probably. But it will pass again. And again. Until you heal. Its a nasty little thing and its tricking you. Please practice some grounding techniques and mindfulness it helps ❤️ you're not alone.

Also stop stressing about relationships when you're going through something so hard. You're number 1 priority here. Look after yourself x

Ty all. I’m trying but I can’t get my mind to settle with all this pressure I’m facing. It’s relentless. I’m sorry / I’m trying just feel like I’m not cut out for this.

Also for what it’s worth I held at 3.65 for 115 days at the end of 2025 and don’t recall Mich of an improvement.

10 hours ago, Need to End said:

I’m trying but I can’t get my mind to settle with all this pressure I’m facing.

It is not an easy thing to practice these coping skills, some days will be easier than others, main thing is to keep it up, and never give up.

11 hours ago, Need to End said:

It’s relentless. I’m sorry / I’m trying just feel like I’m not cut out for this.

It certainly is, non of us are really tbh, no one should have to endure this suffering, but here we are and you are much stronger than you know.

12 hours ago, Need to End said:

Ty all. I’m trying but I can’t get my mind to settle with all this pressure I’m facing. It’s relentless. I’m sorry / I’m trying just feel like I’m not cut out for this.

Also for what it’s worth I held at 3.65 for 115 days at the end of 2025 and don’t recall Mich of an improvement.

Don't ever apologise. At least to me can't speak for the others but im sure they feel the same lol.

Its a long hard road but we're all in this together. Pushing and shoving because we're beasts 💪 although it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time lol.

Here for you

Thank you guys.

IDK if this helps but here is a chart of my progress. The blue line is the dose and the orange line is how I feel on a 0-10 scale 10 being the worst. The orange line is hard to get accurate because I am incorporating all symptoms physical and mental. The physical stuff has mostly died down except for dizziness and fatigue.

9 hours ago, Need to End said:

Thank you guys.

IDK if this helps but here is a chart of my progress. The blue line is the dose and the orange line is how I feel on a 0-10 scale 10 being the worst. The orange line is hard to get accurate because I am incorporating all symptoms physical and mental. The physical stuff has mostly died down except for dizziness and fatigue.

If I am reading the right as you lower the dose you are slowly starting to feel a bit better although things on average have levelled out since May/June. Sounds positive to me! Just watch for that orange line going up again and hold when it does!

16 hours ago, Need to End said:

Thank you guys.

IDK if this helps but here is a chart of my progress. The blue line is the dose and the orange line is how I feel on a 0-10 scale 10 being the worst. The orange line is hard to get accurate because I am incorporating all symptoms physical and mental. The physical stuff has mostly died down except for dizziness and fatigue.

I appreciate your sharing that graph. I think it shows a gradual, downward trajectory of your combined mental & physical symptom severity. That's good, but it's been painfully slow, and that's not your fault. The graph aligns with how you've described your reductions, as feeling the same before and after them. The graph reinforces what I've considered as a sensible tapering of your Prozac. It pretty much reinforces how you described your long hold period, although I was expecting to see a very .slight improvement there but graphically it looks more like a gradual, modest improvement. I see no waves & windows patterns in that graph, although those aren't experienced by all who are tapering.

Having seen this graph, I wouldn't recommend long holds, as in many months or a year. There's little here suggesting that holding has really worked for you, as you have repeatedly said. In your shoes, I'd consider holding for up to a few weeks longer at your current dosage. If there's no real noticeable difference, I'd resume your Prozac taper, starting at the rate that you have been conducting it while holding your Klonopin steady at .75 mg.

We have discussed how your symptoms changed when you began Prozac 2 years ago. While it's good that your physical symptoms have improved, I'm especially concerned about your mental/emotional ones--depression, hopelessness, and SI. I want to make sure you feel safe. If you don't feel safe, I strongly encourage you to reach out to anyone you can trust or a medical provider/crisis line. It's hard to know exactly how much Prozac, underlying destabilization from the pre-Prozac period, your life stressors, and being "worn out" from this process is contributing to your mental state. I'd like to think that continuing to reduce your Prozac will help meaningfully in that regard.

Your graph shows where you started at 20 mg and where you've tapered to ~1.7 mg. That's good progress. As you may already know, even though your 1.55 mg is a relatively very low dosage, it still "packs a punch". Although I don't want to overstate its usefulness and relevance, earlier I had described this low dosage as having a pretty high receptor occupancy (RO). I know that you researched RO and hyperbolic tapering as well. If Prozac has been adverse to you, as we both suspect, reducing its dosage, as seen on the graph, could account for some of the gradual improvement. But what stops me from saying "it's all Prozac" is mainly because of your pre-Prozac destabilization, your life stressors, and likely exhaustion from this whole ordeal. It could also be that as time passes from that pre-Prozac destabilization, your system is very slowly stabilizing underneath your Prozac. Of course, it could be the case where both lowering dosage and stabilization during this time have improved your symptoms, physically more than mentally.

Sorry this was so long, but I wanted to share all I could on your graph in the hope it may help you in some way.

Thank you guys. The mental/emotional side effects have sort of plateaued. I really should have 2 lines one for physical and one for mental side effects. The mental/emotional are much higher than physical and they are constant. I need them to come down. Im doing a mini hold right now for 21 days (16 days into it). The main physical stuff that lingers is fatigue and dizziness.

The depression is really heavy today idk what else to say bt this is really rough.

12 hours ago, Need to End said:

Thank you guys. The mental/emotional side effects have sort of plateaued. I really should have 2 lines one for physical and one for mental side effects. The mental/emotional are much higher than physical and they are constant. I need them to come down. Im doing a mini hold right now for 21 days (16 days into it). The main physical stuff that lingers is fatigue and dizziness.

Sounds like a little pause is helpful N2E.

5 hours ago, Need to End said:

The depression is really heavy today idk what else to say bt this is really rough.

though I am sorry today is tough for you.

One step at a time.....