5 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

Ugh, yep, fight or flight. It's a horrid circle. What helps me break it is looking past the thoughts, acknowledging there's some anxiety at play, and there's nothing rational or reasonable about it. Look past it, in a sense. Gives you some control over it.

Yes, this is called Reality Checking in CBT. It helps pull your thoughts back to the real world.

Ok Ty guys - what if there is some rationale and reason/truth to the worries?

Just now, Need to End said:

Ok Ty guys - what if there is some rationale and reason/truth to the worries?

It’s about perspective. I’m 65 and I have yet to encounter a problem I couldn’t handle. When I worked full time I was a manager, and when someone on my crew made a mistake, I’d tell them there was no such thing as a mistake we couldn’t fix. Don’t worry about what might happen or what your anxiety tells you will happen. You’ll be in a better position to handle the realist of what it is if you strip away the anxious thinking.

Ok I’ll try. I’m sorry it’s hitting me really hard lately. I’m really sorry for having these questions and fears. I’ve never been this way in my life but this feels like terror.

Everything feels on edge. Girl, business, mental, emotional, all of it and I so often just want to rest under covers and even then it’s not peaceful.

No worries, @Need to End We’re here to help and to give you all the support you need. That’s why this site exists.

Ty - it’s hard thinking I’m the only one at this level of disruption. Makes it feel like I’m more broken and this permanent. I am not minimizing anyone else’s experience - I just am not in anyone’s world so I don’t know how they feel so it feels abnormally bad to not be a normal functioning person and then to feel like in my physical world I’m basically alone fighting this battle it feels silly to even think it end and go back to normal.

Just now, Need to End said:

Ty - it’s hard thinking I’m the only one at this level of disruption. Makes it feel like I’m more broken and this permanent. I am not minimizing anyone else’s experience - I just am not in anyone’s world so I don’t know how they feel so it feels abnormally bad to not be a normal functioning person and then to feel like in my physical world I’m basically alone fighting this battle it feels silly to even think it end and go back to normal.

Believe me, you are from the only one to have these kinds of symptoms. Unfortunately they’re very common among people in WD. Anxiety wants you to think you’ve got it worse than anyone else and will never recover. You’re not on your own and you will recover.

Ty. I can’t say it enough. Ty.

I don’t feel like I will. This fear is so strong and I’ve lost so much. I’m still at 1.4mg.

You’ll recover. It takes time and patience. But you’ll get there.

Ty. It’s like every day is silent no progress. Business is slow my phones quiet I don’t feel better. It’s been 800+ days. Every day just silence loss and pain. I need something to grasp.

Make recovery your goal. Everything else will fall into place as your thinking becomes more rooted in reality.

Well last night she told me she still loves me but doesn’t see us getting married and she doesn’t want to stop seeing each other but has also gone on some dates. We had so much fun last night before this convo. Like always. I think that convo is enough To push me over the edge. I’m not feeling good today at all mentally emotionally - I don’t know that I have it in me to take this latest hit as I was already low. This is too much.

I’m so sorry your relationship is it going as you’ve hoped, @Need to End I know you’ve been hanging onto it as an anchor for something normal in your life. Unfortunately, life’s ups and downs don’t take a break when we’re in WD. But at least she respects you enough to be honest with you. But you will get through it just like we all have to struggle with relationship issues. We’re here for you my friend.

Ty. It doesn’t feel like I am. I’m here in my room just dread and doom and all in existential levels all day. I fear tomorrow

Don’t wreck tomorrow based on what happened today. You can still make it what you want it to be.

But I wake up with all these thoughts and physical feelings without trying. It’s like something else deeper is wrong with me .

7 minutes ago, Need to End said:

But I wake up with all these thoughts and physical feelings without trying. It’s like something else deeper is wrong with me .

You’re withdrawing from meds that have altered your nervous system and the way you perceive the world and yourself. It’s not your fault and you’re not doing it on purpose. It’s has nothing to do with your intrinsic value as a person. Use distraction when you can’t handle the feelings. You’ll get through this.

Hi guys, my anxiety is killing me and i am dizzy. I don't feel good. She wants to hang out on Saturday. Im not sure I have what it takes to push through. I cannot focus and work is so slow. This is not normal stress guys and I don't know how anyone gets through this ****. Thing are just falling apart.

5 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys, my anxiety is killing me and i am dizzy. I don't feel good. She wants to hang out on Saturday. Im not sure I have what it takes to push through. I cannot focus and work is so slow. This is not normal stress guys and I don't know how anyone gets through this ****. Thing are just falling apart.

Take Saturday as it comes and live in the moment when it comes. Try not to project doom on something that's five days away. You're falling into the trap of creating a dark reality for something that hasn't happened yet. If work is slow, use the time as an opportunity to do some sefl-healing and distraction exercises. Work on not making doom your default outlook.

Not even sure what to do. We have a special connection and with what she said Sat night at 3 am (after she had had a fair amount to drink) about us not ending in marriage. She has said this before yet we have continued to hang out for a year after she first said it.

And I am so dizzy and don't feel well. When do I get a break? Does it happen before it all falls apart?

Edited August 17Aug 17 by Need to End

3 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Does it happen before it all falls apart?

Yes. But it happens in its own time and at its own pace. Sometimes the best you can do is get out of healing's way and let it happen. Ruminating on dark possibilities is keeping that from happening.

Edited August 17Aug 17 by mstimc60

Is it somewhat common to constantly not want to be here anymore and that its all going to fall apart during this? I live with these passengers every day and its honestly not getting easier.

I have real life stuff threatening me and I feel Im not doing well handling it and literally go to work, the gym and then some social stuff here and there otherwise i an resting. Its been this way for a long time and getting back to a routine where i am productive doesn't feel possible. Im so scared I messed it all up. Now with losing her probably its just more to darken the lights and they were dark already.

Just now, Need to End said:

Is it somewhat common to constantly not want to be here anymore and that its all going to fall apart during this? I live with these passengers every day and its honestly not getting easier.

I have real life stuff threatening me and I feel Im not doing well handling it and literally go to work, the gym and then some social stuff here and there otherwise i an resting. Its been this way for a long time and getting back to a routine where i am productive doesn't feel possible. Im so scared I messed it all up. Now with losing her probably its just more to darken the lights and they were dark already.

It actually sounds like you're doing a good job of being at least functional. Some members can't leave their homes, keep a job, or even leave their rooms. You're doing better than your anxiety is telling you it is.

Thoughts of losing it are very common in WD. That's the anxious mind keeping you trapped. That's why you think the problems you're facing are out of control. We all face problems every day, and we work through them. The thoughts will come, but you don't have to give them room in your head.

Thank you. I don't feel good though ...ever. Its constant fear and pain. Its seriously like torture mentally and physically. Even though i show up at work for a bit or the gym or go out I am never grounded and safe.

Is constant SI common at all? It scares me tremendously.

Edited August 17Aug 17 by Need to End

9 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Thank you. I don't feel good though - ever hardly. Even though i show up at work for a bit or the gym or go out I am never grounded and safe.

Is constant SI common at all? It scares me tremendously.

Yes, its common too. I often thought how better off I and everyone else would be if I was gone. But I never seriously considered taking action. Its all part of the ruminations. But of course if you feel you may be a danger to yourself, you have to seek help immediately!