I know it seems like everything is going wrong all at once, but what you're dealing with is just one overwhelming fear. Worrying about failing, not being able to work, losing relationships, or not providing for yourself or your family; they're all manifestations of one overwhelming pattern of anxious thinking. This video explains it very well. You've got this big 100 lb. ball of anxiety, and it needs to land somewhere. So you worry about your job, but when that subsides, you worry about a relationship. The key is to make that ball smaller so your worries are reduced to reasonable concerns. Using methods to manage your anxiety will bring all your other problems into perspective.

@Need to End I think @mstimc60 is spot on here. Your nervous system is very activated and is looking for things to fixate on. This is very common in WD. It is scanning as it doesn't feel safe. You are not doing this, the drug harm is the cause. If you can recognise this and work not feeding it by rationalising what it is saying, ie. 'I have to work or my life wont work' then I think this will help loads. You are doing great, you just dont think you are. The fact you can go out and meet friends and have dates and work is amazing! Be proud of yourself, many couldn't do this. I think we often worry about things as a way of controlling. Ultimately we must learn to let go and trust we will make the right choices as they arrive, rather than get stuck in thought loop that is unsolvable.

Thank you. I will keep trying but some of this is very real - stuff that is not just a thought but reality in my life :).

Im also down to 1.47mg.

8 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Thank you. I will keep trying but some of this is very real - stuff that is not just a thought but reality in my life :).

Im also down to 1.47mg.

We're not questioning the reality of what's going on, just the way you're reacting to it. As @Chippy said, the reality of how you're dealing with WD is much better than the way you're viewing it. If you can reduce the anxious thinking, you'll see things more clearly.

I watched the video and the anxious thoughts mentioned are things like "will I jump out of a plane", "is the orange juice poisoned" etc.... I am not having irrational fears like that. Mine are based on life circumstances are real factors. That is where I get scared because it seems like this stuff (like the video) is based on people that are having thoughts that are not rooted in to much reality.

1 minute ago, Need to End said:

I watched the video and the anxious thoughts mentioned are things like "will I jump out of a plane", "is the orange juice poisoned" etc.... I am not having irrational fears like that. Mine are based on life circumstances are real factors. That is where I get scared because it seems like this stuff (like the video) is based on people that are having thoughts that are not rooted in to much reality.

Again, its not about the reality of your fears, its your reaction to them. There's a difference between concern and worry. Its okay to be concerned about a relationship or your business, but you're turning them into if/then statements: "If I keep suffering, I won't be able to work, and if I can't work, I can't live". In reality, our working situations are constantly changing, and we adapt, as you will if necessary. Your anxious mind gets ahold of a thought and catastrophizes it to the worst possible outcome. There's a lot of gray area in life, and things are rarely as bad as we fear they may be.

Hi guys I actually went o 1.45 instead of 1.47. This was after a 3 week hold at 1.55 then a 2 week hold at 1.5. Im freaked out that the drop will send me into worse territory but who knows. My intuition is that I need to get off this drug and that its really messing with my body and mind. I wish i could just throw it in the garbage and be done. Its like every day I feel like I am having a negative reaction. Tired as hell, dizzy, watery eyes, red eyes, on top of all the emotional stuff. Like my body is fighting the drug every day.

@Need to End yes my friend this can be a challenge process but your doing wonderful, maybe just hold a bit longer in between drops so your system has time to stabilise a bit more, sounds like its getting a bit disrupted. Time and patience is your friend you are so mush stronger than you realize and you will get through this. Accept the WD symptom, let it be and let it exit. Don't fight it or over annalise it. By doing this it losses it power and passes. This is a challenge thing to learn. Trust me my friend it does get better in time. Be as gentle with yourself as possible and do even the small things to distract. You got this

3 hours ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys I actually went o 1.45 instead of 1.47. This was after a 3 week hold at 1.55 then a 2 week hold at 1.5. Im freaked out that the drop will send me into worse territory but who knows. My intuition is that I need to get off this drug and that its really messing with my body and mind. I wish i could just throw it in the garbage and be done. Its like every day I feel like I am having a negative reaction. Tired as hell, dizzy, watery eyes, red eyes, on top of all the emotional stuff. Like my body is fighting the drug every day.

Hi guys I’m feeling panicky and hopeless today. All the memories of when my life was good before divorce and medication issues and market issues and now it feels too late to get back there in time to feel those feelings again

8 hours ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys I’m feeling panicky and hopeless today. All the memories of when my life was good before divorce and medication issues and market issues and now it feels too late to get back there in time to feel those feelings again

Sorry to hear N2E, some days are gonna be harder than others. Just remind yourself that the injury/wd has made your nervous system senstive and unfortunately it will pick on memories from your past. Don't be frustrated. Just observe and accept and do this as many times as you need to, WITHOUT judgement. And remember all this is temporary.

Hi guys does the calm come back? Does the confidence and peace come back?

This is ridiculous and I’m losing people and things I love :(. It’s torture

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys does the calm come back? Does the confidence and peace come back?

This is ridiculous and I’m losing people and things I love :(. It’s torture

As you heal and recover your body will start to find it's normal again. This is temporary and there will be time to rebuilt down the line. For the minute, just do what you can do, don't judge yourself, if people can't accept then so be it. You must be selfish for the moment.

@Need to End yes the calm, peacefulness, and confidence does come back. Time and patience is your friend, all the things you enjoyed do happen, not as fast as we'd like, but it does happen, but for now we just go day by day. Stay strong my friend

Ty you guys. I really need the support. I dropped to 1.4mg tonight.

Hope it goes well for you, @Need to End Better days are ahead!

Thx - nothing has really gone well for 3 years :(.

Hi guys - need to connect with someone. I feel so down and hopeless. I’m on edge with chemical anxiety and everything is doom/gloom. How do I know this is the taper and meds? I’m freaking terrified. Terrified it’s all going to fall apart any day.

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys - need to connect with someone. I feel so down and hopeless. I’m on edge with chemical anxiety and everything is doom/gloom. How do I know this is the taper and meds? I’m freaking terrified. Terrified it’s all going to fall apart any day.

Hey I see you're having a rough night, I'm going through the same over here. That feeling is definitely the effects of the med just gotta remind yourself that those aren't your real thoughts and that it hijacks your thoughts sometimes. Your mind reacts to what you fill it with, focus on healing and recovery the best you can.

I’m sorry to hear that. It’s the worst. I’m at 1.4mg after over 2 years of tapering and am ready to have this stuff out of my body.

5 hours ago, Need to End said:

Hi guys - need to connect with someone. I feel so down and hopeless. I’m on edge with chemical anxiety and everything is doom/gloom. How do I know this is the taper and meds? I’m freaking terrified. Terrified it’s all going to fall apart any day.

Sorry to read N2E, we have your back, and this is 100% drug harm. Classic mate. Hope things ease very soon.

Thank you. I feel so much fear - were any of you like this where you were just stuck in fear mode at home with no peace not able to do anything and every thought made you paranoid almost? Utterly hopeless?

3 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Thank you. I feel so much fear - were any of you like this where you were just stuck in fear mode at home with no peace not able to do anything and every thought made you paranoid almost? Utterly hopeless?

Yes, absolutely. It’s called “scanning”. Your nervous system is so tuned up that it’s literally looking for something that’s wrong. And if it can’t find anything, it starts making things up. It’s horrible but vey common. CBT is a great way to deal with these kinds of thoughts.

But have you been so paralyzed you don’t feel like you can do anything. Like how on earth does that get better?

Yes. It freezes you in place. Right now, your anxious mind is working overtime to find problems and keep you locked in place. That’s how it maintains its power. It plays games with your mind by asking endless “what if” questions that always lead to an imagined catastrophic end. It takes things to an extreme disastrous end. And it tries to convince you that you’re all alone in this and it’s only happening to you. I went through it and most of the folks here have experiences it as well. You can learn to manage the catastrophic thinking.

2 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Yes. It freezes you in place. Right now, your anxious mind is working overtime to find problems and keep you locked in place. That’s how it maintains its power. It plays games with your mind by asking endless “what if” questions that always lead to an imagined catastrophic end. It takes things to an extreme disastrous end. And it tries to convince you that you’re all alone in this and it’s only happening to you. I went through it and most of the folks here have experiences it as well. You can learn to manage the catastrophic thinking.

Ugh, yep, fight or flight. It's a horrid circle. What helps me break it is looking past the thoughts, acknowledging there's some anxiety at play, and there's nothing rational or reasonable about it. Look past it, in a sense. Gives you some control over it.