@Tracey

I just wanted to stop by and check in on you. I know you're still in a difficult place, and I know there really aren't words that can make this easier. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and hoping that, even if things still feel impossibly hard, you are finding little moments where you can rest and breathe.

You don't need to respond. I just wanted you to know you're on my mind. ❤️

11 hours ago, Tracey said:

Even if I wasn't tapering, this would be a painful experience. The chemical cloud just makes things so much more traumatic

I'm glad you can recognise this Tracey.

The withdrawal can cast a very negative light on all of our experiences, and make up things as it goes along.

One day at a time, deep breaths.

Thinking of you dear Tracey.

Wombat

4 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Sending my love @Tracey hang in there, I know that sense of normality feels out of reach right now but it's a lie, it's there, it will happen!

Keep surviving the sec and pushing extra gently where you can.

We are all behind you xxx

Trying gently to push but I have lost so much faith in myself and confidence. Beyond belief really how dark it can all get.

Always so grateful for your insight and kindness.

6 hours ago, Wombat said:

I'm glad you can recognise this Tracey.

The withdrawal can cast a very negative light on all of our experiences, and make up things as it goes along.

One day at a time, deep breaths.

Thinking of you dear Tracey.

Wombat

I think that is what scares me, there is unresolved old wounds to face and come back from. Not just the withdrawal.

Deep breaths and one day at a time.

Thank you for your support as you too are suffering. xx

10 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey

I just wanted to stop by and check in on you. I know you're still in a difficult place, and I know there really aren't words that can make this easier. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and hoping that, even if things still feel impossibly hard, you are finding little moments where you can rest and breathe.

You don't need to respond. I just wanted you to know you're on my mind. ❤️

One of the hardest things is not being able to self isolate as much and hide from people and realities of life.

So so challenging and it doesn't feel like it is helping me. I could hide away back in my old home, however eventually that may not have been enough to move through all this darkness. And I would have been pushed off the cliff, rather than jumping by choice.

Thanks for holding my hand @RachelSusan xx

Sending big hugs @Tracey I can't wait till all this lifts for you.xxxxx

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Sending big hugs @Tracey I can't wait till all this lifts for you.xxxxx

Thanks @Chippy , just concerned I have accidentally pushed myself too far and made too drastic a change in life. xx

20 hours ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Chippy , just concerned I have accidentally pushed myself too far and made too drastic a change in life. xx

You're stronger than you know Tracey, you will settle into this new life, change is hard for most people, change in WD, that is brave. You are brave. You have 100% got this. xxxxx

Sending love and support to you and the pets @Tracey. I know the change is a big one, but nothing is impossible to overcome on this journey no matter how daunting it feels. You will get through this, I really believe that.

Hope today is a little more bearable dear @Tracey

Thank you for the comment on my thread, appreciate you, your incredible strength and the great progress you are doing that you may not see now.

Hang in there, this brutal phase will pass!

Many hugs 🤍

Edited August 24Aug 24 by Fullhealing

Thinking of you, dear @Tracey . Your post about how much you missed nature deeply touched me. I had not understood that you are now living in suburbia. This must be very hard, in addition to losing your home. It makes such a difference if we have access to nature, if we can see the night sky, interact with animals, nature can be so healing. You had this and you had to leave. I’m so sorry.

Sending you a hug. I hope that you can find some consolation and healing in the connection to the people in the forum and to the people around you.

Praying for some relief for you.

21 hours ago, Chippy said:

You're stronger than you know Tracey, you will settle into this new life, change is hard for most people, change in WD, that is brave. You are brave. You have 100% got this. xxxxx

I wish I felt I had this 100%. Yesterday was so much better than today. Today is more than brutal with agitation, activation, head pressure, anguish and you know the rest. There is a clear every second day pattern at the moment. What is that? Like the brain chemicals just dial back after 24 hours or so.

7 hours ago, Nemina said:

Thinking of you, dear @Tracey . Your post about how much you missed nature deeply touched me. I had not understood that you are now living in suburbia. This must be very hard, in addition to losing your home. It makes such a difference if we have access to nature, if we can see the night sky, interact with animals, nature can be so healing. You had this and you had to leave. I’m so sorry.

Sending you a hug. I hope that you can find some consolation and healing in the connection to the people in the forum and to the people around you.

Praying for some relief for you.

I am on the coast now @Nemina , but I really miss what i had in the bush and quieter place. My nerves aren't handling this change. I could have stayed but chose to be with family and my elderly mother. I felt I couldn't manage what I had for the long term and decided it would be better to move sooner rather than later. Just concerned the taper mind has interfered. Being on the drug allowed me to put worries like that aside and ignore them.

Hope there is a silver lining to all this, can't see it yet.

Thanks for your care @Nemina , I know you are having a rough time also xx

12 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope today is a little more bearable dear @Tracey

Thank you for the comment on my thread, appreciate you, your incredible strength and the great progress you are doing that you may not see now.

Hang in there, this brutal phase will pass!

Many hugs 🤍

Yesterday was and perhaps my best day since being here.

Then today close to my worst. What is going on ?

I shouldn't have taken my multi B this morning. Every few days seems to be ok and not an already bad morning. So hard to work out what to take and not. Because days that I don't I can still be bad.

I will hang on to your comment about progress I cannot see now. It can actually feel like harm. My ability to function is slipping and consequences worry me if I ignore certain things for too long. So frightened my dear friend xx

16 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Sending love and support to you and the pets @Tracey. I know the change is a big one, but nothing is impossible to overcome on this journey no matter how daunting it feels. You will get through this, I really believe that.

Hanging on to this @SarahMc because this truly feels impossible. I feel totally irresponsible because I am not my usual responsible, conscientious self. So so hard to trust . I appreciate your support and care xx

Thinking of you Tracey.

The most difficult thing anyone has to overcome is going through this process of getting off antidepressants.

Hoping you come out of this awful wave soon.

Keep being strong.

Wombat

2 hours ago, Wombat said:

Thinking of you Tracey.

The most difficult thing anyone has to overcome is going through this process of getting off antidepressants.

Hoping you come out of this awful wave soon.

Keep being strong.

Wombat

Thanks dear @Wombat, I would agree just beyond belief really. 😢 My strength is fading , so exhausted.

Hope you are doing okay. xx

Edited August 25Aug 25 by Tracey

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

Yesterday was and perhaps my best day since being here.

Then today close to my worst. What is going on ?

That's so wonderful to hear especially since the adjustment is so hard on you but it's curve so days like today are inevitable.

it will get better I'm time.

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

I shouldn't have taken my multi B this morning. Every few days seems to be ok and not an already bad morning. So hard to work out what to take and not. Because days that I don't I can still be bad.

I highly doubt there's a connection, please don't be harsh on yourself.

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

I will hang on to your comment about progress I cannot see now. It can actually feel like harm. My ability to function is slipping and consequences worry me if I ignore certain things for too long. So frightened my dear friend xx

Everything feels like harm when we suffer and it's sure do frightening but progress is in the making regardless with or without function, it's a just a phase which will pass.

Keep surviving dear, you are coping according to your ability and that's exactly how it should be!

Hugs xxx

3 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

That's so wonderful to hear especially since the adjustment is so hard on you but it's curve so days like today are inevitable.

it will get better I'm time.

I highly doubt there's a connection, please don't be harsh on yourself.

Everything feels like harm when we suffer and it's sure do frightening but progress is in the making regardless with or without function, it's a just a phase which will pass.

Keep surviving dear, you are coping according to your ability and that's exactly how it should be!

Hugs xxx

I just wish I had my old home back as this has been made so much worse here. More nervous system has to cope with and more energy to expend looking after myself and animals.

But hindsight is hindsight, it is done now.

Such insight about suffering @Fullhealing . You are amazing and amidst your own suffering too.

I just need to feel ok about looking after my animals and myself. All confidence gone as things get harder.

I hope your old dog is okay and I hope I haven't missed anything re his wellbeing. xx

6 hours ago, Tracey said:

I just wish I had my old home back as this has been made so much worse here. More nervous system has to cope with and more energy to expend looking after myself and animals.

This is a painful blow, I am so sorry, I completely understand the grief, but there was a rational decision behind it that led you to the transition, totally alone it's extremely difficult so it's good that you have your family by your side, your peaceful private corner is awaits you, it's just a matter of time.

6 hours ago, Tracey said:

I just need to feel ok about looking after my animals and myself. All confidence gone as things get harder.

I'm sure you give your lovely animals much more love and care than you think but please lower your expectations for now, you are in a very challenging time and cannot function as you used, that's okay and it's temporary.

6 hours ago, Tracey said:

I hope your old dog is okay and I hope I haven't missed anything re his wellbeing. xx

You are so sweet Tracy, thinking of my elderly Jackie, thank you!

he unfortunately continues to deteriorate but no way out of Alzheimer's and age so I try to make the best of what left and not think too far ahead.

You have amazing strength that will carry you through dear @Tracey just hang on, bright long days to come xxx

Edited August 25Aug 25 by Fullhealing

@Tracey Hi! I understand why you're losing confidence. When things that used to be so manageable, like looking after yourself and your animals, become so difficult, it would be hard not to question yourself.

About the multi B, I don't know if it is contributing to how you're feeling, but some people who are very sensitized during withdrawal do find that B-complex or multivitamins make them feel more activated, agitated, anxious, or just generally worse. Some of these products contain fairly high amounts of B6, B12, niacin, folate, and other ingredients. That doesn't mean the vitamin is causing your bad days, especially since you can have bad days when you don't take it, but I can understand why you're questioning it. Do you have a doctor you trust who understands your sensitivity and what you're going through? It might be worth talking with them about the supplement.

And please don't forget that having a very bad day after having a better one doesn't erase the better day. I know it can feel that way when you're in the middle of the bad one. ❤️ Hang in there. xoxo

Hi Tracey, hoping things are starting to settle for you. Thinking of you.

Wombat

Thinking of you @Tracey

Hope you're a bit better xx

Edited August 29Aug 29 by Fullhealing

Hey @Tracey asking too my friend xxx

You’re on my mind, too @Tracey 💗

Thanks @Chippy , @Fullhealing , @Finni , @SarahMc , @Wombat ,

Not doing well today. The worst nausea and dread ever. Light headed, can't focus without great anguish/ effort. The nausea is just awful. Tingling/ burning.

Yesterday was better until I was triggered by finding out I am missing a box or 3 from the move. Won't go into detail.

But I feel so ill right now and can't function. Every second day is better but I am easily triggered.

Lost all confidence in myself and if I can get through. Can't get any comfort or hope.

Sorry I can't write much 😢😢😢