1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

Dear @Tracey all I can say is that you are heard, understood and embraced by all of us.

This storm is meant to pass like all storms, just hang in there and give yourself time and grace.

Much love to you xxxx

Thanks dear @Fullhealing , you are kind. I hope you are doing ok. 💚💚

On 7/30/2026 at 10:11 PM, SarahMc said:

I promise you are strong enough to get through this @Tracey. I share your sense of anguish, despair, exhaustion. If I can get through it, and the others on here can, you can too. You’ve been through so much lately and your body will need a bit of time to adjust. But this is NOT you, it is the drugs and you can and will fight back and get to that feeling of peace.

Love to you and Maggie 💜

Thank you for your kindness @SarahMc . T

My worst symptom is the extreme agitation and activation. Along with this comes the mental fear and looping brain.

This is what feels like I am reacting to my dose. It has been consistently worse late morning until late evening. But today it started early at 6 am and hasn't let up. Burning, electricity, tingling. Not the nausea today, had that yesterday. But poor appetite. It seems I am getting more sensitive the longer this goes on and the more I have to deal with.

Thanks for your ongoing support. The familiarity and consistency of my friends here is a blessing. So much of my former life before the move is gone.

Edited August 3Aug 3 by Tracey

@Tracey, one thing really stood out to me in your post: "I am normally such a capable and rational person. This is not me." I believe you.

I don't think this is who you are. I think this is who you are right now under an extraordinary amount of stress. Those are two very different things.

You have had so many losses and changes in such a short period of time, all while dealing with intense symptoms. Anyone's nervous system would be overwhelmed by that.

I also noticed you said, "Today is really really bad." As strange as it may sound, I actually found that encouraging because you didn't say, "Every day is really bad." You said, "Today." That tells me you still recognize that days can be different, even if today feels unbearable.

Just keep getting through one moment at a time. You don't have to solve tomorrow while you're trying to survive today.

@NOW I went over to your page and answered your question over there so you would have the information right in front of you when needed. 😄

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

This is what feels like I am reacting to my dose. It has been consistently worse late morning until late evening. But today it started early at 6 am and hasn't let up. Burning, electricity, tingling. Not the nausea today, had that yesterday. But poor appetite. It seems I am getting more sensitive the longer this goes on and the more I have to deal with.

Exactly! since my last cuts and as the dosage gets lower, the morning starts with crazy cortisol that turns into a catastrophe with strange body sensations (nausea, burning, tremors, jittery nerves) that accompany me until late evening where everything starts to dissolve, very chemical!

Our system is working feverishly now @Tracey let's give it time, when it regulates along with you adapting to your new environment, things will take a completely different turn, I'm sure of that.

Hang in there dear 🤍

Edited August 3Aug 3 by Fullhealing

@Tracey Sending a top up of love and power for you. You are in my thoughts xxxxx

6 hours ago, Tracey said:

I am praying and hoping I can hold on but my life feels out of control now, like I am losing my independence or will lose it. I am normally such a capable and rational person. This is not me.

Today is really really bad. 😢😢

I feel this way a lot @Tracey . I feel in free fall at the moment and scared I will be temporarily or permanently incapacitated. I am so sorry this awful situation is perpetuating 🧡

On 7/30/2026 at 10:28 PM, Tracey said:

Thank you dear friends for your kindness.

I really wish I could engage on here more like I used to before I moved. I am just so out of my routine and missing my own space.

Yesterday set me off dreadfully and in top of Maggie there was an awful upset with delivery of my stuff to container. Right when vet was due. What a cruel day for me, feel like I am having a nervous breakdown.

I so bad today , trying to rest now.

I feel like the world is leaving me behind. Missing being active on here so much.

Your supportive comments mean so much. I don't feel strong enough to make it but you all say I am.

Maggie has a beautiful grave with a pink camellia planted on it. Mum's lovely gardener did that this morning. So grateful.

I am really worried I will never be able to resume my taper due to how I feel. I am sure I am reacting to the drug as I am just so sensitive. But I just cannot get my head around resuming. Measuring and the rest of it in my current circumstances. But I have to get off.

Sending so much love!

7 hours ago, Tracey said:

My worst symptom is the extreme agitation and activation. Along with this comes the mental fear and looping brain.

This is what feels like I am reacting to my dose. It has been consistently worse late morning until late evening. But today it started early at 6 am and hasn't let up. Burning, electricity, tingling. Not the nausea today, had that yesterday. But poor appetite. It seems I am getting more sensitive the longer this goes on and the more I have to deal with.

Thanks for your ongoing support. The familiarity and consistency of my friends here is a blessing. So much of my former life before the move is gone.

I’m sorry @Tracey. I’m so certain that things will start calming down for you as you and your animals settle into your new home and routine. I’ll be thinking of you and your precious fur babies. Your kindness and fierce love for them shines through in all of your posts regardless of how terrible you’re feeling 💜.

@Tracey I just wanted to stop by and say hello.

Please know you never have to respond to any of my messages unless you feel like it. Sometimes just getting through another second is all we can do, and we understand that.

One of the things I needed most when I was going through withdrawal was for someone to simply acknowledge how bad it really was. Never in my life had I experienced that kind of physical pain or lived through anything that felt so relentless. It truly was hell on earth. There were times I couldn't get out of bed, and other times I looked like I was functioning, but inside I was barely making it from one moment to the next.

So I just want to say this to you: I hear you. I see you. I was where you are. And I acknowledge how incredibly hard this is right now.

I'm thinking of you.

10 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey I just wanted to stop by and say hello.

Please know you never have to respond to any of my messages unless you feel like it. Sometimes just getting through another second is all we can do, and we understand that.

One of the things I needed most when I was going through withdrawal was for someone to simply acknowledge how bad it really was. Never in my life had I experienced that kind of physical pain or lived through anything that felt so relentless. It truly was hell on earth. There were times I couldn't get out of bed, and other times I looked like I was functioning, but inside I was barely making it from one moment to the next.

So I just want to say this to you: I hear you. I see you. I was where you are. And I acknowledge how incredibly hard this is right now.

I'm thinking of you.

Wow huge thank you @RachelSusan .

This is exactly what I needed right now. And you describe my experience to the letter.

I wish I could stay in bed more on these days but I simply have to force myself to do basics of daily living or I will lose even more than I already have.

I would love to have a real person that fully understands or a phone call is good too. But they are rare. I can email my psychologist also and she replies. She is pretty supportive and understanding of the hell I am suffering.

I had a dirty window yesterday but back in activation, agitation, doom, fear, no focus, burning etc today.

Trying to rest. But I have to help mum take her cat to vet for his monthly arthritis injection.

I can't rest like I could back in my old home. I miss it a lot but I couldn't sustainably live there any longer. I couldn't afford it, somewhat isolated, no horses, drought. It was a ln ideal I had great hopes and dreams for. So much grief for me.

And thanks for reminding me I don't have to reply. It is simply too hard some days and I have less time here on my own.

I am so grateful for your kindness and words. xxx

On 8/3/2026 at 9:57 PM, SarahMc said:

I’m sorry @Tracey. I’m so certain that things will start calming down for you as you and your animals settle into your new home and routine. I’ll be thinking of you and your precious fur babies. Your kindness and fierce love for them shines through in all of your posts regardless of how terrible you’re feeling 💜.

Thanks @SarahMc . I love my animals deeply and they give me so much back. Such healers. I put them through a lot with this move, not something I would normally do.

Life without them is daunting, trying to stay present and not get ahead in fear. 🩷

On 8/3/2026 at 8:00 PM, Catbird said:

I feel this way a lot @Tracey . I feel in free fall at the moment and scared I will be temporarily or permanently incapacitated. I am so sorry this awful situation is perpetuating 🧡

Thanks @Catbird . So sorry you are in the trenches also. The untethered feeling is very scary. It sure is relentless for me, I guess the move had capped it all off. The straw that broke the camels back.

We will make it through and we are capable of enduring great suffering as humans. 🙏xx

On 8/3/2026 at 5:25 PM, Chippy said:

@Tracey Sending a top up of love and power for you. You are in my thoughts xxxxx

Thanks dear @Chippy.

Hugs and love back to you xx

On 8/3/2026 at 4:12 PM, Fullhealing said:

Exactly! since my last cuts and as the dosage gets lower, the morning starts with crazy cortisol that turns into a catastrophe with strange body sensations (nausea, burning, tremors, jittery nerves) that accompany me until late evening where everything starts to dissolve, very chemical!

Our system is working feverishly now @Tracey let's give it time, when it regulates along with you adapting to your new environment, things will take a completely different turn, I'm sure of that.

Hang in there dear 🤍

Thanks dear @Fullhealing ,

I have really taken on a lot with my move. And my new life is bringing me back to reality that is not exactly ideal. I just hope I can still settle and heal through it all.

I can certainly see how life circumstances make tapering even worse. I hope I can eventually have some peace and joy. I have realised it is not just the tapering but personal 'work' I have to go through. Feels like my whole sense of self and ego has been ripped apart.

I am not doing any real therapy with my psychologist which is okay as I need to simply survive right now. And I know I can't think my way to healing. It will come through my body and re connecting, trust and other things.

Resting now as I am tired after writing these replies. 💚. Hugs to you @Fullhealing xx

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Thanks dear @Fullhealing ,

I have really taken on a lot with my move. And my new life is bringing me back to reality that is not exactly ideal. I just hope I can still settle and heal through it all.

I can certainly see how life circumstances make tapering even worse. I hope I can eventually have some peace and joy. I have realised it is not just the tapering but personal 'work' I have to go through. Feels like my whole sense of self and ego has been ripped apart.

I am not doing any real therapy with my psychologist which is okay as I need to simply survive right now. And I know I can't think my way to healing. It will come through my body and re connecting, trust and other things.

Resting now as I am tired after writing these replies. 💚. Hugs to you @Fullhealing xx

Im so sorry that settling into the new place is harder than you expected @Tracey but it makes perfect sense, not only that any adjustment is tough at first, you also left your private corner that you loved so much and all this in the midst of crazy process with a raging system, it is a double blow that hard to digest and which you are coping amazing I have to say but remember that this is an interim period where at least you will not be alone and with time, as the system regulates and the lust for life and joy returns you will build a life of your choice, you may not see a vision of it now but I promise you, it will happen.

Just keep going step by step and things will take shape on their own.

*No need to answer*

Just know that we are thinking of you.

Much love dear 🩷

10 hours ago, Tracey said:

I am not doing any real therapy with my psychologist which is okay as I need to simply survive right now.

@Tracey If you think it doesn't count, it does. You may feel like you're not doing any "real therapy" right now, but surviving is hard work too. Sometimes just making it through the day is all we can do, and that's okay.

Do whatever you need to do to get through this. There's no right or wrong way to survive.

On 8/5/2026 at 2:38 PM, Fullhealing said:

Im so sorry that settling into the new place is harder than you expected @Tracey but it makes perfect sense, not only that any adjustment is tough at first, you also left your private corner that you loved so much and all this in the midst of crazy process with a raging system, it is a double blow that hard to digest and which you are coping amazing I have to say but remember that this is an interim period where at least you will not be alone and with time, as the system regulates and the lust for life and joy returns you will build a life of your choice, you may not see a vision of it now but I promise you, it will happen.

Just keep going step by step and things will take shape on their own.

*No need to answer*

Just know that we are thinking of you.

Much love dear 🩷

Very wise and insightful of you @Fullhealing

It is really hard to see how my joy and comfort and settled feeling will return, but I believe you. I need predictability now and I hope I can find that after all I have been through.

Hope you are doing ok, I read on Finni's page that you had an onset of paranoia on your evening walk. I also hope your old dog is hanging in there. They are so precious. 🩷

As always dear @Fullhealing , your support means so much. xx

Edited August 7Aug 7 by Tracey

On 8/5/2026 at 11:34 PM, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey If you think it doesn't count, it does. You may feel like you're not doing any "real therapy" right now, but surviving is hard work too. Sometimes just making it through the day is all we can do, and that's okay.

Do whatever you need to do to get through this. There's no right or wrong way to survive.

Very insightful and helpful @RachelSusan . Sometimes my thoughts go to that I have lost and losing my life, forgetting that this taper journey is deep personal growth. It sometimes feels like I have wasted the last 4 years with all this impacting me heavily.

I really hope I made a wise choice to re commence my taper and there is some 'higher power' walking alongside me. I often question myself and wonder if I waa too full of idealism in being so intent on coming off.

I only wish I had of done it years ago when I waa younger and my body more resilient perhaps. On the other hand age brings wisdom.

Thanks for your support xx

@Tracey, you have captured my thoughts completely. I often wish I had been younger when I tapered Zoloft, and now I'm tapering gabapentin and find myself thinking the same thing. I'm about 10 years into this ordeal with both medications, and I do think about how much time I've lost to it. I really understand that feeling.

I also understand questioning yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. I don't think wanting to come off was foolish or idealistic. You made the decision that felt right for you

.

And I really liked what you said about age bringing wisdom. How true.

xo RS

Edited August 8Aug 8 by RachelSusan
typo

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey, you have captured my thoughts completely. I often wish I had been younger when I tapered Zoloft, and now I'm tapering gabapentin and find myself thinking the same thing. I'm about 10 years into this ordeal with both medications, and I do think about how much time I've lost to it. I really understand that feeling.

I also understand questioning yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. I don't think wanting to come off was foolish or idealistic. You made the decision that felt right for you

.

And I really liked what you said about age bringing wisdom. How true.

xo RS

Appreciate your perspective and resonance @RachelSusan .

I wasn't getting side effects or poop out but my brain didn't feel great in the mornings. I guess I didn't want to be dependent on a drug for the rest of my life. I felt somewhat 'controlled' by it in that you couldn't miss dose's, you had to take at same time and how was it affecting psycho spirituality?

I don't have an addictive nature to substances and never have had. Hence I thought why should I be addicted to a prescribed drug ? When it was prescribed it I was going through a life transition, burn out, no job, lost purpose/direction, unsuitable relationship ( which. stayed in until 9 years ago).

I am highly sensitive (didn't know about all that until past decade). I was somewhat ambitious re career but it didn't ever happen, a cause of some grief now. I healed and rescued animals but now I can't do that the way I did.

@RachelSusan I am so glad you are past your awful wd time and have the one drug to taper. You inspire me. xx

Not much sleep last night and not sleeping as well as I did at my old home. Feeling so weak, shaky legs, digestion upset ( low belly discomfort, nausea or starving, bowels too lose in morning), awful head, anguish, feeling I can't go on like this.

But so trapped. What do I do? Frightened of hospital and the drugs they will give me. They don't understand sensitivity and autonomic nervous system dysfunction.

I had no idea the change of life would be such an assault on my nervous system. Feel like I have expected too much of myself and pushed myself too far.

I didn't realise I could get so much worse than I was.

Feeling so desperate today. Feel like I need total convalescence but I can't do that. I have to eat and feed and walk my 3 remaining fur babies.

I hurt my lower back lifting my old dog into car and I have to take mum to hospital for day surgery on a skin cancer on her nose today. In bed with hot water bottle now.

So scared. 🩷😢

Edited August 10Aug 10 by Tracey

Sorry to hear you're still struggling @Tracey . Most people find stability at some stage, I hope this is soon for you 💕

39 minutes ago, Catbird said:

Sorry to hear you're still struggling @Tracey . Most people find stability at some stage, I hope this is soon for you 💕

Just feel so unwell and can't function. Head is muddled, burning, aka agitation and the usual. Have the peak dose aggravation late morning onwards, still in it now at 2.45pm. Been getting it most days past weeks/ months.

Thanks @Catbird x