@Tracey I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think nausea and sleep deprivation are two of the worst symptoms there are. I know if feels like you will never get out of it but it will end. I hope it is very soon.

8 hours ago, Catbird said:

I certainly hope so @Tracey.  I feel powerless not to be able to offer any direct support. Being alone enduring such a terrible state must reinforce the sense of aloneness (not sure if that's an actual word).  I watched a YouTube video last night which I found really promising and I'll include the link below. Will try to check back in with you later to see how you're getting on 🤗🧡

 

Stop trying to heal

Thanks @Catbird, today was a bit better than past 5 days. Just your messages are enough. 💚

 

10 hours ago, Tracey said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think nausea and sleep deprivation are two of the worst symptoms there are. I know if feels like you will never get out of it but it will end. I hope it is very soon.

 

Thanks RachelSusan, today waa a bit better there is hope. Less desperate and nauseous. Not much sleep but it has to improve. Agreed re nausea and sleep deprivation. Dreadful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Tracey Have you considered a small up dose to see if that might ease things? Do you rate your symptoms daily? Are they 8/10 or a 1/10, 10 being awful? Would you say things have gotten worse or generally improved since you started your hold?

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Catbird, today was a bit better than past 5 days. Just your messages are enough. 💚

@Tracey You can always PM me 🧡🤗

… thinking of you, @Tracey. Let’s have another virtual sit. I will lay my device down now, and concentrate on thinking of you and sending you love and healing through my prayers.
❤️😔

@Tracey 

It does sound like your body is settling in and starting to heal. Do you keep anything in your house for nausea as a backup just in case it gets worse again?  Sometimes it helps just knowing you have something there if you need it.

Hi Tracey, I'm sorry to hear things have been tricky. When I'm feeling fearful/scared, my instinct is always to hold rather than change the dose, whether that's for better or worse. I think it's fear of things getting worse. After my bad updose, I went back to my previous dose the following day & the symptoms did lessen over the next 2 months, although at the time I very much felt in crisis.

 

It seems like stress could have very well triggered this wave. Equally I'm listening to this video and at 33 mins in they discuss symptoms during holds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTUCeVJYneI&t=1324s and it talks about new allergies/intolerances that may crop up during a taper & contribute.

 

Can you tell us about the farm you live on? Do you have animals? Is the land hilly or flat? Are you noticing the spring bulbs coming through? I saw my first bee of the year last week while I was on my allotment and yesterday, at a local farm, I saw 3 bees! 

 

I've been working on building up community and non-drug coping mechanisms. The other day I went to a free meditation session at a local buddhist centre - they offer it both online and in person. Does anything similar exist where you are? Would you be interested if so?

 

Also, I absolutely hate the nausea too. In December I lost 9/10lbs because my appetite was awful and so was the nausea. I found that even when I felt dreadful eating a small amount, particularly in the morning when I first woke up, seemed to ease the nausea. Including when I thought I couldn't possibly eat because I'd be sick - having something little did help. I was living on very plain food for a while! Weetabix, pitta bread, carrots. But do try to eat little bits when you can and see how that impacts the nausea, otherwise we end up with an under-nourished body that also feels horrible. Just do what you can manage. Nothing lasts for either, including the nausea. I'm glad it's passing.

Edited March 11Mar 11 by molly97

15 hours ago, Chippy said:

@Tracey Have you considered a small up dose to see if that might ease things? Do you rate your symptoms daily? Are they 8/10 or a 1/10, 10 being awful? Would you say things have gotten worse or generally improved since you started your hold?

Today really bad , panic, tingling , chest pain, can't concentrate. Awful. No sleep at all last night. 

They gotten worse over the 2 months. 

Before the drop on December 26th they were around 2-4 out of 10. Last week they are a 10. 

 

Getting desperate. 

 

How much do I updose? 

 

 

8 hours ago, molly97 said:

Hi Tracey, I'm sorry to hear things have been tricky. When I'm feeling fearful/scared, my instinct is always to hold rather than change the dose, whether that's for better or worse. I think it's fear of things getting worse. After my bad updose, I went back to my previous dose the following day & the symptoms did lessen over the next 2 months, although at the time I very much felt in crisis.

 

It seems like stress could have very well triggered this wave. Equally I'm listening to this video and at 33 mins in they discuss symptoms during holds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTUCeVJYneI&t=1324s and it talks about new allergies/intolerances that may crop up during a taper & contribute.

 

Can you tell us about the farm you live on? Do you have animals? Is the land hilly or flat? Are you noticing the spring bulbs coming through? I saw my first bee of the year last week while I was on my allotment and yesterday, at a local farm, I saw 3 bees! 

 

I've been working on building up community and non-drug coping mechanisms. The other day I went to a free meditation session at a local buddhist centre - they offer it both online and in person. Does anything similar exist where you are? Would you be interested if so?

 

Also, I absolutely hate the nausea too. In December I lost 9/10lbs because my appetite was awful and so was the nausea. I found that even when I felt dreadful eating a small amount, particularly in the morning when I first woke up, seemed to ease the nausea. Including when I thought I couldn't possibly eat because I'd be sick - having something little did help. I was living on very plain food for a while! Weetabix, pitta bread, carrots. But do try to eat little bits when you can and see how that impacts the nausea, otherwise we end up with an under-nourished body that also feels horrible. Just do what you can manage. Nothing lasts for either, including the nausea. I'm glad it's passing.

Thanks Molly, really bad right now. 

 

I can't answer the questions yet but thanks for caring and thoughtful questions. 

 

 

9 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey 

It does sound like your body is settling in and starting to heal. Do you keep anything in your house for nausea as a backup just in case it gets worse again?  Sometimes it helps just knowing you have something there if you need it.

Electrolytes, lemon juice in water, take liver herbs, ginger root doesn't help. Chamomile and peppermint tea. 

Small meals

Any suggestions? 

 

Thanks for your help. 

 

Not sleeping is awful. Last night 0 sleep. 

11 hours ago, Nemina said:

… thinking of you, @Tracey. Let’s have another virtual sit. I will lay my device down now, and concentrate on thinking of you and sending you love and healing through my prayers.
❤️😔

Thanks Nemina 💚

5 hours ago, Tracey said:

Today really bad , panic, tingling , chest pain, can't concentrate. Awful. No sleep at all last night. 

They gotten worse over the 2 months. 

Before the drop on December 26th they were around 2-4 out of 10. Last week they are a 10. 

 

Getting desperate. 

 

How much do I updose? 

 

 

Hey Tracey

 

Im so sorry. You are on 7mg right and your previous dose was 7.7?

If you choose to increase your dose and it were me as it’s been 2+ months since your reduction I’d be cautious. 
 

Id try around 2.5-5%  so 7.2mg-7.3mg.  As you are feeling so bad. Perhaps the latter, if you feel cautious the former. Updoses aren’t always a quick fix. See if it helps. Hold there for 2 weeks to judge effect. You can always increase some more if it works but isnt enough. 
 

If you get significantly worse id immediately return to 7mg  
 

Thinking of you xxxx

Will try 7.2 mg I think. How many worse days before going back to 7 mg? 

 

Awful day today. 

 

Thank you Chippy

Edited March 12Mar 12 by Tracey

20 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Will try 7.2 mg I think. How many worse days before going back to 7 mg? 

 

Awful day today. 

 

Thank you Chippy

I’d just see how you are and play it by ear. If you only feel a bit worse I’d stay on that dose and see how it goes as it might not be the increase your feeling and you may have felt like that regardless. It can take 7 days for the brain to register the change.  Id only jump back if you react very badly. Not that you will just being cautious. 
 

Im sorry. I empathise, we all do. 
 

Hope it helps

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

I’d just see how you are and play it by ear. If you only feel a bit worse I’d stay on that dose and see how it goes as it might not be the increase your feeling and you may have felt like that regardless. It can take 7 days for the brain to register the change.  Id only jump back if you react very badly. Not that you will just being cautious. 
 

Im sorry. I empathise, we all do. 
 

Hope it helps

Ok thanks. 

 

This is just awful 😢

3 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Ok thanks. 

 

This is just awful 😢

Sending a big hug your way. Xxx

Hang in there @Tracey ❤️ Thinking of you.

Thank you, the adrenalin/cortisol surges/waves with nausea are so debilitating. They were terrible last time.

 

Yesterday I thought was heading into a slight window but it went to the pack overnight and subsequently today. 

 

 

How are you feeling now @Tracey?  thinking of you 💕

9 minutes ago, Marina said:

Hang in there @Tracey ❤️ Thinking of you.

Dear Marina,

thanks and hope my body has the reserves and strength needed. 

Appreciate your support xx 

5 minutes ago, Catbird said:

How are you feeling now @Tracey?  thinking of you 💕

Dozing off after dinner on couch but still adrenalin/ cortisol. Been going day with a few short breaks when I rest. Hot weather not helping, had the ice pack on chest and head lots today, So tired but not relaxed. 

Please let me sleep tonight 🙏. 
 

Thanks Cat xx

Just now, Tracey said:

Dozing off after dinner on couch but still adrenalin/ cortisol. Been going day with a few short breaks when I rest. Hot weather not helping, had the ice pack on chest and head lots today, So tired but not relaxed. 

Please let me sleep tonight 🙏. 
 

Thanks Cat xx

Sounds so depleting. You've had days of turmoil. I really hope you sleep well tonight. 🤗

10.30 pm , woke 1/2 hour ago after sleeping for maybe 2 hours in the worst panic attack. Sat for awhile trying to calm  myself down by talk and breath and ice. Not much help, got up walked around carefully, made hot drink , had honey and pinch salt, lay on floor mat and did some stretches. Finally started to eaae. Back in bed propped up with pillows typing this. Wide awake so maybe no sleep much and waking like that gave me a fright. 

This all seems so unfair 😢

 

13 minutes ago, Tracey said:

10.30 pm , woke 1/2 hour ago after sleeping for maybe 2 hours in the worst panic attack. Sat for awhile trying to calm  myself down by talk and breath and ice. Not much help, got up walked around carefully, made hot drink , had honey and pinch salt, lay on floor mat and did some stretches. Finally started to eaae. Back in bed propped up with pillows typing this. Wide awake so maybe no sleep much and waking like that gave me a fright. 

This all seems so unfair 😢

 

I’m so sorry @Tracey The whole thing is not fair at all. You will get through this! 
 

When do you take your dose?