1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Catbird went up to 7.2mg this morning. 

Can only hope it doesn't make me worse. 

 

If I had support in the flesh I would have waited maybe. 
 

 

Try not to dwell on the past, it's generally not helpful - only helpful in the sense that we learn from our mistakes and move on.  I can understand the all consuming symptoms you're living with. Do you have any friends you can face time? Contact with the outside world may help. It may help direct your attention away from your symptoms for a while. 💕

3 hours ago, Catbird said:

Try not to dwell on the past, it's generally not helpful - only helpful in the sense that we learn from our mistakes and move on.  I can understand the all consuming symptoms you're living with. Do you have any friends you can face time? Contact with the outside world may help. It may help direct your attention away from your symptoms for a while. 💕

Have phoned a few people. 
 

Friend coming up tomorrow. 

 

Thanks Cat x 

Dear @Tracey, i’m so sorry, my heart goes out to you. So much unfair suffering. You are doing everything right. I am glad that you have been reaching out to people and that somebody will come tomorrow. I’m sure this was a good decision. 
It is true what @Catbird writes , these symptoms are so all consuming. Not only the body is sick and in pain but also emoitions an even thoughts are affected. It’s really hard.

you know it, but this is always good to say and read it again: It won’t stay like that. You will be better. 
😔💙

 

Thinking of you, dear @Tracey. Take care, my friend! You are not alone. We are in this with you.
 

I hope your friend could come to visit and that you have some support now right where you are. 
 

 

 

Xxx

 

 

Hey again @Nemina

 

Thought I would give you an update on @Tracey, I know she isn't having a nice time atm and thought she wouldn't mind me letting you know how she is. Hope that was ok Tracey?!

 

Tracey did her 0.2mg updose a couple of days ago and she found it a bit too much so has had to reduce back down to 7mg. Her system is clearly too activated by any more drug. 😞 

 

It was a rough 24 hours for her unfortunately. Last I heard things settled for her last night about 7.30pm and but was still experienceing some nausea.

 

Thinking of you Tracey! xxxx

Thanks dear @Nemina, 

 

Your support from afar means alot. I would love a real hug 🩷right now. Awful desperate feeling, intense agitation and nausea with it. 

 

Yesterday was much better, but then thrown back into awful today. 

 

At least I slept better last night and was relieved and grateful laying in bed so thankful. 

 

Hope you are ok everyone else sharing my story. I will catch up with others when I am well enough. 

 

These drugs are beyond belief. 😢😡

 

xxxxx 

 

 

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

Thanks dear @Nemina, 

 

Your support from afar means alot. I would love a real hug 🩷right now. Awful desperate feeling, intense agitation and nausea with it. 

 

Yesterday was much better, but then thrown back into awful today. 

 

At least I slept better last night and was relieved and grateful laying in bed so thankful. 

 

Hope you are ok everyone else sharing my story. I will catch up with others when I am well enough. 

 

These drugs are beyond belief. 😢😡

 

xxxxx 

 

 

Nice to hear from you @Tracey and sorry you're still in a nasty wave.  Do you have someone staying with you? 🤗

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

Thanks dear @Nemina, 

 

Your support from afar means alot. I would love a real hug 🩷right now. Awful desperate feeling, intense agitation and nausea with it. 

 

Yesterday was much better, but then thrown back into awful today. 

Dear @Tracey, I am happy to hear from you.

I wish I could come over and give you a big hug and share a cup of chamomile tea with you or whatever you like to drink right now.  I’m so sorry that you’re back in this desperation, agitation, and nausea.

I know that you are very good at self-care and very knowledgeable in natural remedies so I won’t try to give you any advice. Let’s just sit together and share the moment. It is a moment in time. It will pass. Other times will come. My thoughts are with you, you are not alone.
sending you loving thoughts and prayers over to the other side of this planet. 
Love, Nemina 

@Tracey, stay strong. ❤️ We're thinking of you.

Thanks dear @Marina and @Nemina. 💚💚

3 hours ago, Catbird said:

Nice to hear from you @Tracey and sorry you're still in a nasty wave.  Do you have someone staying with you? 🤗

Dear  @Catbird, 

 

No unfortunately not. Thanks for your care and concern. xxxx 

Hey @Tracey

 

Just thought I’d drop by again and see how you’re coping after your attempt to updose? You’ll get through this Tracey, this wave will break eventually and things will ease a little for you. I know you don’t have anyone there to support you but you have us, we’re all cheering you on. Just keep grinding through the days and you’ll get there. Better days are coming for you! 
 

Thinking of you. 
 

Nick 

@Tracey Just like Nick, I am checking in on you. Sending warm thoughts and hugs.

22 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Hey @Tracey

 

Just thought I’d drop by again and see how you’re coping after your attempt to updose? You’ll get through this Tracey, this wave will break eventually and things will ease a little for you. I know you don’t have anyone there to support you but you have us, we’re all cheering you on. Just keep grinding through the days and you’ll get there. Better days are coming for you! 
 

Thinking of you. 
 

Nick 

Thanks Nick, 

 

I went back to 7 mg as updose overstimulated me. I only did one dose of 7.2mg. 

 

I am not doing well with bad anxiety, burning, adrenalin, fear. Very little sleep in a week. 

 

I had reprieve on Saturday which gave me hope and felt almost baseline ( bit dazed / shocked though) and slept ok that night but all back again yesterday morning about 10.30 am the adrenalin, nausea etc started again. 

 

I hope this settles again as my body is exhausted but won't switch off. 

 

I have had to make big life decisions ( bar timing) but they are inevitable and been looming for awhile. 

 

Thanks for checking up on me, really appreciate. 

 

At the moment I can be there for anyone else which I am sorry about. Hope you are doing ok Nick. I may feel how you described in your story when you were so desperate at one time. 

 

Tracey 

2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@Tracey Just like Nick, I am checking in on you. Sending warm thoughts and hugs.

Thanks RachelSusan, 

 

I will take all your hugs. Thanks for checking in on me and I hope you are feeling confident with your upcoming taper. xxx

On 3/18/2026 at 9:54 PM, Tracey said:

Dear  @Catbird, 

 

No unfortunately not. Thanks for your care and concern. xxxx 

Hi @Tracey You've been very quiet of late.  How are you feeling? 💕

7 hours ago, Catbird said:

Hi @Tracey You've been very quiet of late.  How are you feeling? 💕

Hello Cat, It has been dreadful and I don't have the focus or energy to do much online or much else. Just tge essentials. 
 

Right now things have finally settled after 0ver 24 hours adrenalin,  fear etc. 

 

Fingers crossed I am in for a better night and day tomorrow. 

 

Hope you are doing ok xxx 

Thanks for posting and letting us know about you ❤️. I’m so sorry for your terrible situation, @Tracey.
this wave will break. It’s a matter of time. It is a good sign that you had this little window in between. More windows will come! 
take care, you’re not alone, we are in this together.

9 hours ago, Tracey said:

Hello Cat, It has been dreadful and I don't have the focus or energy to do much online or much else. Just tge essentials. 
 

Right now things have finally settled after 0ver 24 hours adrenalin,  fear etc. 

 

Fingers crossed I am in for a better night and day tomorrow. 

 

Hope you are doing ok xxx 

I so feel for you @Tracey. Feeling adrenalised is a terrible state — I’m having a few of those at present. Stay in touch friend 🤗💕

17 hours ago, Nemina said:

Thanks for posting and letting us know about you ❤️. I’m so sorry for your terrible situation, @Tracey.
this wave will break. It’s a matter of time. It is a good sign that you had this little window in between. More windows will come! 
take care, you’re not alone, we are in this together.

Thanks Nemina. Yes the little windows give me hope. 

 

I had one last evening a few hours after I posted that lasted up until 1 pm today. Other good signs are much less nausea and bowels less frequent. 

 

Having a wave now , but it will I hope settle after dinner. 

 

Yep we are all in this together💚🙏

Edited March 24Mar 24 by Tracey

10 hours ago, Catbird said:

I so feel for you @Tracey. Feeling adrenalised is a terrible state — I’m having a few of those at present. Stay in touch friend 🤗💕

Thank you Cat, 

 

Oh you as well, such anguish it is. I hope yours are just bearable. Feeling for you too. xxxx

 

I think that's the worst, the adrenanline rushes that last so long. So sorry you've had to deal with that ,when they peak its difficult to know what to do ,I generally feel like ripping my skin off or running fast and screaming or smashing up a room, I don't but that's how it makes me feel .I feel for you its tough ,been dealing with that myself and can come on at random times and then just suddenly stop .it's like someone taking you on a really fast ride and then just suddenly putting the brakes on ! ..hope its settles for you soon 

Hey @Tracey

 

Going back to 7mg and holding will hopefully bring you some stability soon. Your body is fighting everyday to get back to homeostasis, it will get there eventually. 
 

I remember those days of feeling utterly desperate, they’ll pass Tracey, they did for me and they will for you. You just need to hang in there, one day at a time. 
 

As for the life decisions, I won’t enquire but do whatever is right for you and please don’t apologise for not being there for anyone, many of us go quiet during the really tough times. Just focus purely on yourself, we’ll all still be here when you’re ready. You’ll get through this Tracey. We’re all here for you. 
 

Thinking of you. 
 

Nick. 

20 hours ago, Beehive said:

I think that's the worst, the adrenanline rushes that last so long. So sorry you've had to deal with that ,when they peak its difficult to know what to do ,I generally feel like ripping my skin off or running fast and screaming or smashing up a room, I don't but that's how it makes me feel .I feel for you its tough ,been dealing with that myself and can come on at random times and then just suddenly stop .it's like someone taking you on a really fast ride and then just suddenly putting the brakes on ! ..hope its settles for you soon 

Thank you @Beehive, yes that is it, you just be out of your own skin. So horrible. In a bad wave today , bit of a break yesterday. Started early hours this morning when cortisol starts to rise naturally. 

 

Just comes on and I never know when it will relent. Seems to be a pattern of every second day. 

The fear and dread and disconnection that comes with it is awful. Hard to be with. 

 

Thanks for dropping in on my journey. I hope you are doing ok and will check your page when I feel to more. This is exhausting. 

20 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Hey @Tracey

 

Going back to 7mg and holding will hopefully bring you some stability soon. Your body is fighting everyday to get back to homeostasis, it will get there eventually. 
 

I remember those days of feeling utterly desperate, they’ll pass Tracey, they did for me and they will for you. You just need to hang in there, one day at a time. 
 

As for the life decisions, I won’t enquire but do whatever is right for you and please don’t apologise for not being there for anyone, many of us go quiet during the really tough times. Just focus purely on yourself, we’ll all still be here when you’re ready. You’ll get through this Tracey. We’re all here for you. 
 

Thinking of you. 
 

Nick. 

Gee thank you Nick, that makes me feel less pressured. 

 

I just can't do much else but look after myself at the moment. The life decisions have been impending for several years, just couldn't make them. I have to trust myself. I am still pretty rational and not impulsive by nature but hell it is still so hard. 

 

Back to the 5 year old child feeling again who just wants comfort and soothing. I am 57, unbelievable. 
 

I really hope I stabilise on the 7mg as this is just painful and scary. You have been there as most others have here. 

 

Tracey