7 hours ago, Nemina said:

Oh @Tracey, I wish I could do something for you. I join with you in prayer that this will pass soon. However, long it will take.: it definitely will pass!  
thinking of you xxx

Dear @Nemina, 

 

Thank you , this gives me encouragement.

Hope you are doing ok 💚

18 hours ago, Beehive said:

@Tracey no worries you have enough going on yourself ..I did think I was stabilising but yesterday and today the chest tightness triggers me ,all the negative thoughts come out then when the tightness lessens I'm physically shaking ...yes desperate is how you feel an awful feeling.  Wishing you lots of healing and better days ❤️

Thank you @Beehive, yes I get the trembling / shaking too when I am really bad. 

 

You sound like you are really struggling also. We will get through this. The negative thoughts are certainly a huge challenge. When all the usual self help things don't seem to work it does make it more scary. 

 

How are you this morning? You must be waking up soon ? 

Morning @Tracey Yes the negative thoughts and second fear can all make things worse . I did have quite a rough morning yesterday but it did ease thankfully my Sister came over . Hope your morning wasn't too bad , I recall you saying you are on your own which must be hard at desperate times is there anyone you can call on to be with you ? Wishing you peaceful days, I hope your suffering eases ,we are with you in spirit if not in person 🙏❤️

Edited April 13Apr 13 by Beehive

1 hour ago, Beehive said:

Morning @Tracey Yes the negative thoughts and second fear can all make things worse . I did have quite a rough morning yesterday but it did ease thankfully my Sister came over . Hope your morning wasn't too bad , I recall you saying you are on your own which must be hard at desperate times is there anyone you can call on to be with you ? Wishing you peaceful days, I hope your suffering eases ,we are with you in spirit if not in person 🙏❤️

That is nice your sister came over. 

I can talk to people on the phone but not have anyone come over. I am isolated in that way. 

I do have one person here that can come over but she doesn't really understand the extent of tapering trauma. She is still supportive though. 

Hope your day is a peaceful one also 🥰

 

My Sister doesn't understand either ,I'm not sure anyone outside of withdrawal can fully comprehend the horror we endure .I'm glad you do have someone and they are supportive . I think its just someone being there makes you feel less alone . Wishing you peace and healing 🙏

On 4/12/2026 at 7:39 AM, Tracey said:

Well plunged back into intense symptoms, agitated, nausea , dread etc ( usual stuff). 

 

This is certainly not linear. I feel relief and hope when I have an easier day, then it all comes flooding back. Two hardly any sleep nights in a row. Bad one Wednesday, good Thursday (maybe because my uncle came to help take my dog to vet and stayed one night). Felt less alone. The two awful nights Friday/ Saturday. 

Pray that tonight is better. 

Too much uncertainty and impending change in my life and major life stressors.

 

I hope I am strong enough to get through this. I have lost weight and my face looks drawn and lifeless. 

 

Trying to be stoic and strong. Still get very frightened. 

 

It is a month today since the one day updose. 

 

This has to pass please ..🙏

Oh @Tracey I'm so sorry, with you unfortunately in this terrible abyss, it can be so extremely challenging with external pressures but we must keep hope for better days which ALWAYS prove to come.

A reminder of how strong and brave you are in this process! although our mind will try to feed us a sense of defeat about everything, we must not listen, it's a very strong illusion that we are slowly learning how to break and we will succeed too.

I hope the upsode will take effect soon and you will find a long and stable balance.

Sending big and comforting hug 🩷

Edited April 13Apr 13 by Fullhealing

13 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh @Tracey I'm so sorry, with you unfortunately in this terrible abyss, it can be so extremely challenging with external pressures but we must keep hope for better days which ALWAYS prove to come.

A reminder of how strong and brave you are in this process! although our mind will try to feed us a sense of defeat about everything, we must not listen, it's a very strong illusion that we are slowly learning how to break and we will succeed too.

I hope the upsode will take effect soon and you will find a long and stable balance.

Sending big and comforting hug 🩷

Thanks @Fullhealing, the updose by .2 only lasted a day and that was a month ago. I went straight back to 7mg as it was too stimulating and felt I was too sensitive to handle. 

 

Getting pretty desperate after 3 bad days in a row. 

What is going on? I know I can't rest/ relax enough due to curcumstances. 

 

Why do I have so much burning and tingling and shaky legs. And the negativity. My whole body is burning actually at the moment. Dry mouth . So similar to my reinstatement disaster from 0-25 mg 3 years ago. Sensitive to drug whilst in protracted withdrawal. 
 

Still seem to ramp up a mid morning. 
 

I made my fresh liquid up yesterday so a fresh batch. Have been going 3 days then discard. 

 

Could a fresh batch be stronger and make my sensitivity worse? 

 

Hard to say and I just can't cope with much at the moment. Trying to be as precise as I can with measuring. 
 

Feeling really desperate right now and definitely a time pattern happening with that late morning to early afternoon. 

 

Very scared right now. What a mess 😢

 

 

15 hours ago, Beehive said:

My Sister doesn't understand either ,I'm not sure anyone outside of withdrawal can fully comprehend the horror we endure .I'm glad you do have someone and they are supportive . I think its just someone being there makes you feel less alone . Wishing you peace and healing 🙏

Hard to find those that do without lived experience. But agree just a quiet person being around is good. Wished I could gave that now. Same to you @Beehive peace and healing. 

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Fullhealing, the updose by .2 only lasted a day and that was a month ago. I went straight back to 7mg as it was too stimulating and felt I was too sensitive to handle. 

 

Getting pretty desperate after 3 bad days in a row. 

What is going on? I know I can't rest/ relax enough due to curcumstances. 

 

Why do I have so much burning and tingling and shaky legs. And the negativity. My whole body is burning actually at the moment. Dry mouth . So similar to my reinstatement disaster from 0-25 mg 3 years ago. Sensitive to drug whilst in protracted withdrawal. 
 

Still seem to ramp up a mid morning. 
 

I made my fresh liquid up yesterday so a fresh batch. Have been going 3 days then discard. 

 

Could a fresh batch be stronger and make my sensitivity worse? 

 

Hard to say and I just can't cope with much at the moment. Trying to be as precise as I can with measuring. 
 

Feeling really desperate right now and definitely a time pattern happening with that late morning to early afternoon. 

 

Very scared right now. What a mess 😢

 

 

I'm so sorry @Tracey too hard indeed to know what's causing what, but there's no doubt your system is hypersensitive and everything that comes around just adds to the mess.

I wonder if it's worth considering sticking to the current dosage for a long while to check how your system adjust, I see that throughout 2025 you were actively tapering every month, maybe that's just too much?

As for the liquid composition, I honestly have no idea, I've always been on a dry taper and I probably will stay that way, maybe @Chippy can help here but why did you switch to liquid in the first place? And the supplements that I see you take, how long have you been taking them and have you felt any benefit at all, I personally haven't been able to take even tiny dose of anything as it triggers akathisia.

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

7 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

maybe @Chippy can help here but why did you switch to liquid in the first place?

@Tracey perhaps if you can, write out your method here, we can check it for accuracy. 

I switched to liquid because I can't buy less than a 50 mg tablet here. After reading SA liquid seemed the most practical option. 

 

I had no trouble switching to liquid so I stuck with it. 

 

I make up a 1:1 . 50ml water to 50mg tablet. Shake well in dark glass jar. Started making it up night before past maybe few weeks as in the morning it was one less thing to do and it does take some time to go into suspension evenly. Break tablet in half before adding water. 

 

50 ml water I measure with a syringe. Making sure it is the same ( precise) each time. I use a 10 ml syringe to draw up 7 ml . Check for too many bubbles, air etc. Don't overshake to avoid this. Use for 3 days then discard. Keep in fridge. 

 

Rachelsusan said she used a normal syringe like I am for her sertraline taper. 

 

 

@Fullhealing I have been taking the same supplements for at least 3 years. The gingko I started 2 years ago and it really helped with brain fog at the time. May reduce cortisol. Some longer. Have been careful not to add anything new in or take high doses. The past 4 months in this bad patch have not added in anyrhing. I stopped the as needed iron/ withania  as found it may have been a bit stimulating several months ago. 

 

Reluctant to stop all together but could try every other day with some. They weren't a problem all last year and year before. But who knows. 

 

No coffee, sugar , junk. Whole grains, vege, fruit , salmon, tofu just added in boiled eggs and cheese lately as need an easy protein snack. Need to snack more at the moment. Go from no appetite to mild nausea during day now. 

 

Bowels back once a day in morning now. 

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Tracey

38 minutes ago, Tracey said:

@Fullhealing I have been taking the same supplements for at least 3 years. The gingko I started 2 years ago and it really helped with brain fog at the time. May reduce cortisol. Some longer. Have been careful not to add anything new in or take high doses. The past 4 months in this bad patch have not added in anyrhing. I stopped the as needed iron/ withania  as found it may have been a bit stimulating several months ago. 

 

Reluctant to stop all together but could try every other day with some. They weren't a problem all last year and year before. But who knows. 

 

No coffee, sugar , junk. Whole grains, vege, fruit , salmon, tofu just added in boiled eggs and cheese lately as need an easy protein snack. Need to snack more at the moment. Go from no appetite to mild nausea during day now. 

 

Bowels back once a day in morning now. 

Thanks for the clarification @Tracey for me personally the system could no longer tolerate anything that was well tolerated before since halfway through this process, it triggered my symptoms as I mentioned to akathisia level but even now there are severe flare-ups so as you say, who knows.. I prefer to leave it clean and let the body deal with just the drug for now but there are some that find supplements very helpful, so no arguing with that.

If you are still worried that there is something that triggers you can always do an experiment and see how it works without, just be careful with that too and don't stop anything suddenly as the system gets used to it.

Tracey, it sounds like you are doing everything right, eating well and taking really good care of yourself so time will take its course here, I would still considering holding the dose to give your system a good rest time but of course that is your call.

Wishing you relief very soon and don't forget your strength, this journey is for the strong and brave only.

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

I switched to liquid because I can't buy less than a 50 mg tablet here. After reading SA liquid seemed the most practical option. 

 

I had no trouble switching to liquid so I stuck with it. 

 

I make up a 1:1 . 50ml water to 50mg tablet. Shake well in dark glass jar. Started making it up night before past maybe few weeks as in the morning it was one less thing to do and it does take some time to go into suspension evenly. Break tablet in half before adding water. 

 

50 ml water I measure with a syringe. Making sure it is the same ( precise) each time. I use a 10 ml syringe to draw up 7 ml . Check for too many bubbles, air etc. Don't overshake to avoid this. Use for 3 days then discard. Keep in fridge. 

 

Rachelsusan said she used a normal syringe like I am for her sertraline taper. 

 

 

I think liquid is a perfectly fine method @Tracey and will be needed at lower doses.

 

Your method seems good to me. Can't see any flaws in it.

@Tracey Geez! You've really been through the mill. Lots of good advice here so I won't add anything except to say I feel for you. It's so cruel what you're going through at present. 🧡🤗

@Tracey

my heart goes out to you. We are all waiting here side-by-side with you for your suffering to ease.  You are in my prayers daily. ❤️

I did a liquid with a syringe, too, and it worked well for me. Now at 0.3 mg I have switched to a Pipette, that is more precise. Maybe I should’ve done that earlier, but those things are really expensive. For 7 mg it should be really fine to work with a normal syringe.

I also have been developing intolerances during this wd process. I cannot have milk products anymore, only those without lactose. And, at one point, I couldn’t drink coffee anymore, made me feel terrible.
So @Fullhealing has a valid point here. Maybe some testing by leaving things aside could be helpful.
 

in general, I think that you have just had too many stressors at once. You care deeply for your animals and I’m sure you have a high sense of responsibility. making changes in your life will affect others and thus thinking about those changes or making plans is a high stressor for you. I am wondering if you have someone you can talk on the phone , who will be willing to share the decision-making process with you? Who maybe even will do research for you, if necessary, make phone calls, etc.

 you are injured and is very important that your system can rest.

 

sending you love, strength and peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Tracey Just wanted to say hello. You've gotten great advice. Sometimes there is nothing else that can be done except for holding.  I've been where you are and I know how bad it feels. I hope some of your symptoms start to lift a bit.

 

Thank you @Fullhealing, @Nemina, @Chippy, @Catbird, @RachelSusan. 

 

All your comments are very helpful and supportive and give me confidence getting through this.

 

I am happy to hold at 7 mg and just hope I become less sensitive. I  am certainly not as sensitive as I was 3 years ago when I was in trouble. That is reassuring about my method. I will look into pipette's down the track. I can't even think about working out micro taper doses at the moment. 

 

I will see what I can reduce in supplements. It is a tricky one as somehow I feel I would not be getting adequate from diet alone and hoped the supplements were supportive. Sensitivity is relatively common in people not tapering and I have seen such people not tolerate certain herbs well. Too stimulating usually. I had thought that whilst I could tolerate them normally, maybe my increased sensitivity has changed that. 

 

I have talked about my animals, especially my horse with a few trusted people. I  am confident in my decision, however I am dreading the actual event. We are in severe drought now and her aged teeth despite dental care is making her life much harder and hay is not good quality or easy to eat. 

 

I am not sure if I have akathisia or a mild version. I can lay still and sit. The burning skin and nausea and anguish are the worst symptoms. I certainly have the adrenalin and cortisol problem. 

 

And yes this is only for the very enduring and brave. I wonder  if I am too long suffering though at times and doing myself harm? 

 

Again your support means so much to me. 🙏

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Tracey said:

I am happy to hold at 7 mg and just hope I become less sensitive. I  am certainly not as sensitive as I was 3 years ago when I was in trouble. That is reassuring about my method. I will look into pipette's down the track. I can't even think about working out micro taper doses at the moment. 

That I think is the best move. Holding most of the time is the right thing to do. It gets the fear out of the way, and stops us interfering with the bodies own ability to put things in balance. 
 

You don’t need to worry about a micro taper right now. We can help when the time comes with whatever you choose to do there. 
 

6 minutes ago, Tracey said:

I will see what I can reduce in supplements. It is a tricky one as somehow I feel I would not be getting adequate from diet alone and hoped the supplements were supportive. Sensitivity is relatively common in people not tapering and I have seen such people not tolerate certain herbs well. Too stimulating usually. I had thought that whilst I could tolerate them normally, maybe my increased sensitivity has changed that. 

It’s worth looking at. Just look at one at a time and reduce them, see if you notice a difference. Your system probably doesn’t want sudden shifts. Plus you won’t know what helped. 
 

8 minutes ago, Tracey said:

I have talked about my animals, especially my horse with a few trusted people. I  am confident in my decision, however I am dreading the actual event. We are in severe drought now and her aged teeth despite dental care is making her life much harder and hay is not good quality or easy to eat. 

 

This is a huge stressor. Im sorry you have to deal with it. It’s good you are in a good place and stoic knowing your choice is the right thing. This is important. Your love for your animals is beautiful and they will have had an amazing life as a result. 
 

Always here, always thinking of you Tracey. This will pass. 

@Tracey thank you for your thoughtful response. No-one envies what you're enduring. I really hope you find stability soon. I've suffered with burning parasthesia over the past couple of years and it's frightening. 🤗🧡

Catching up on your story, @Tracey... I am so sorry for what you are enduring, I know it is hell on earth. I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best and I am so glad that you are able to connect with us here. It is very hard when there is no one in your daily life who understands.

@Tracey Just stopped by to say hello. I'm sorry you are in hell. You have been a great and amazing horse mom which makes any decisions all that much harder. Trust yourself. Sending support for all things happening in your life in addition to support for the withdrawal.

Thanks @Treefrog and @RachelSusan ,

Still having a very hard time, all much the same symptoms. Very bad wave of panic, burning parathaesia at the moment. Writing might help me , not sure.

Very sad event on Thursday , my little cat Pearl was bitten by a snake and I had to let her go in at vet clinic. She died peacefully in my arms always knowing love, peace and comfort. Safe and resting now. She was 14 and had never touched a snake in her life. It was a small baby snake. Evie her sister is missing her, but comforting me too.

My life is just so challenging at the moment. When will all this end?

We will bury Pearl at a friends place on Monday. Kind of her to offer.

I just want some peace and to feel my old self again. The anguish.

At least I got some sleep last night and night before. The intrusive thoughts/ ruminating mind was better.

I know I have accept things and I am doing well to make it this far. I am still making rational choices.

Take care everyone and wishing you peace and joy xxxx

On 4/15/2026 at 6:15 PM, Catbird said:

@Tracey thank you for your thoughtful response. No-one envies what you're enduring. I really hope you find stability soon. I've suffered with burning parasthesia over the past couple of years and it's frightening. 🤗🧡

Thanks @Catbird , yes it is very frightening. Thanks for your understanding. 🩷

35 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Still having a very hard time, all much the same symptoms. Very bad wave of panic, burning parathaesia at the moment. Writing might help me , not sure.

Sorry to read Tracey.

36 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Very sad event on Thursday , my little cat Pearl was bitten by a snake and I had to let her go in at vet clinic. She died peacefully in my arms always knowing love, peace and comfort. Safe and resting now. She was 14 and had never touched a snake in her life. It was a small baby snake. Evie her sister is missing her, but comforting me too.

So sad. 😞 Not what you needed atm. I know she would have had an amazing life with you. We lost both our boys in recent years. One just before wd. It was very sad indeed. The second during wd. I’m not sure I’ve grieved him yet. I couldn’t really feel the loss. What these drugs do to us.

38 minutes ago, Tracey said:

My life is just so challenging at the moment. When will all this end?

We will bury Pearl at a friends place on Monday. Kind of her to offer.

I wish this for you too. It will come.

That is so kind of your friend.

38 minutes ago, Tracey said:

just want some peace and to feel my old self again. The anguish.

At least I got some sleep last night and night before. The intrusive thoughts/ ruminating mind was better.

Some positive progress in there. Sleep is so good when you can get it. Helps the healing for sure.

39 minutes ago, Tracey said:

I know I have accept things and I am doing well to make it this far. I am still making rational choices.

You are doing so well. Accepting is hard, but you are right. The opposite is resisting. It’s learning to not give too much volume to the symptoms and float instead. Sometimes you need to recognise them. I think the body demands this. But mostly if you can accept and stop resisting the suffering reduces.

Time if your friend. You will get better still from here.