2 hours ago, Tracey said:

The last few days since a horrible Saturday, have been more tolerable. Less impending doom.

Thanks for checking in and asking @Catbird

Weather has turned wintery so now I am keeping wood up to heater, Big job.

Hope you have settled with your symptoms.

Thanks @Tracey symptoms haven’t settled unfortunately. It’s been raining almost daily here for a month or longer. I’m happy for you that things have eased, if only just a little 🤗

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

since a horrible Saturday, have been more tolerable.

Happy to read. 😃

4 hours ago, Tracey said:

The last few days since a horrible Saturday, have been more tolerable. Less impending doom.

So pleased to hear that! @Tracey It may not feel much but it's actually a lot compare to the brutal days and great sign of healing

May it continues to improve, peace and love your way! xxx

Edited May 20May 20 by Fullhealing

Pretty bad today again. Pressure on for an inspection Saturday. Getting out of house by 9.30 am will be the hardest. Short days , dark and cold mornings.

Physically better but mentally so much fear and dread. Can't stop worrying about my animals and how I am causing them stress. Not the great capable carer I once was. Trying my hardest.

Sorry you are still struggling @Catbird . Your weather wouldn't help. We finally had 25 mm. First good rain for 6 months or more.

I may be very patchy on here over next weeks. But I will be back when I can.

Love you all my friends and family xxx

@Tracey Considering your circumstances its not surprising you feel the way you do ,anyone else would feel the same . Please don't be hard on yourself ,you are doing the best you can ,you are amazing ...your animals understand and love you as much as you love them ,take good care of yourself, that's what they would want . ❤️

Edited May 21May 21 by Beehive

Good luck over the coming days @Tracey I know you have a lot to deal with. Here when you need us xxxx

Dear @Tracey remember your strength and courage through all the hardship, you are doing your best including your beloved animals who are only grateful for everything you do, please be gentle with yourself and try to let go although I know how hard it is, we have such limited control over so many things so we must leave the rest to a higher power with its very precise plan.

Much easier days will come, guaranteed.

Love and peace your way, hang in there xxx

Edited May 21May 21 by Fullhealing

@Tracey glad to hear the physical symptoms have subsided somewhat. The doom and dread is one of the most painful emotional experiences and sorry to hear this has been visited upon you. 💕

Where will you be moving to?

We will be thinking of you these days! @Tracey you have been caring so very deeply for your animals, you are allowed to move on. Sending hugs ❤️

I wish you luck and strength in the upcoming days and weeks. 🙏🏻❤️ One day you will be your old self again, just have to make it through this hard period.

Thanks @Marina , @Catbird , @Chippy , @Nemina , @Fullhealing .

Well what a mess I am. I feel like I have dementia. This is just cruel. I know it is aggravated by my circumstances but they won't change right now.

I am wandering around in a daze, everyday tasks are so hard and I so slow.

Have an offer on my property already which I have accepted. Subject to a few things so not certain. Move could be end of July.

In a state of panic, overwhelm, dread. Burning heart, tingling, bad sleep and waking.

How long can I endure without collapsing? I have to keep going. My negative brain won't allow hope or peace or anything.

I know many of is are battling with crippling symptoms here so we are not alone. But gee does it feel lonely.

Wishing everyone some peace.

@Catbird I am moving to Warrnambool on the coast in Victoria. xx More oxygen in the air than here. I live at 1000m altitude currently.

@Tracey So sorry to hear of your suffering, I am right there with you ....

Geez Tracey

I can understand why you're so overwhelmed especially on top of WD. I really feel for you - being alone and trying to move. The grief and disbelief of your situation is something no-one should have to bear. The only thing I can think of is maybe contacting the community centre in Stanthorpe and asking if there are any volunteers to help with the. heavy lifting - the task of packing things up. How will you get to Victoria?

Sending you virtual hugs 🤗💕

49 minutes ago, Catbird said:

Geez Tracey

I can understand why you're so overwhelmed especially on top of WD. I really feel for you - being alone and trying to move. The grief and disbelief of your situation is something no-one should have to bear. The only thing I can think of is maybe contacting the community centre in Stanthorpe and asking if there are any volunteers to help with the. heavy lifting - the task of packing things up. How will you get to Victoria?

Sending you virtual hugs 🤗💕

My friend is driving her car and I will drive mine.

I think I will have some help. Just can't pack yet as too overwhelming, Have to down size as I not buying my own place for awhile.

I am having a terrible mood/ energy drop right now. Burning heart, so scared , so anxious , doom.

Need a hug from someone. 😢😢

2 hours ago, Beehive said:

@Tracey So sorry to hear of your suffering, I am right there with you ....

Thanks @Beehive 💚

Feel like taking something like valium but too scared.

I wish I could give you a hug @Tracey 🥺❤️ You can do this!

Hey @Tracey

Im so sorry you are going though all of this, this would be overwhelming at the best of times, but right now this is an awful lot to have to deal with.

I do hope that once the move has taken place you can finally settle down give your nervous system the peace it needs, I wish I was close, I would certainly give you a big hug and help you move/pack!

You are wise to not take Vallium, your brain doesn't need more nasty substances added to it.

Thinking of you xxxxx

2 hours ago, Marina said:

I wish I could give you a hug @Tracey 🥺❤️ You can do this!

Thanks dear @Marina 🩷😘

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Hey @Tracey

Im so sorry you are going though all of this, this would be overwhelming at the best of times, but right now this is an awful lot to have to deal with.

I do hope that once the move has taken place you can finally settle down give your nervous system the peace it needs, I wish I was close, I would certainly give you a big hug and help you move/pack!

You are wise to not take Vallium, your brain doesn't need more nasty substances added to it.

Thinking of you xxxxx

Thanks dear @Chippy ,

Yes don't want valium but the temporary peace would he nice.

I hope once I am settled and the pets things will improve. 😘xxx

1 minute ago, Tracey said:

I hope once I am settled and the pets things will improve. 😘xxx

I hope this too. xxxx

6 hours ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Marina , @Catbird , @Chippy , @Nemina , @Fullhealing .

Well what a mess I am. I feel like I have dementia. This is just cruel. I know it is aggravated by my circumstances but they won't change right now.

I am wandering around in a daze, everyday tasks are so hard and I so slow.

Have an offer on my property already which I have accepted. Subject to a few things so not certain. Move could be end of July.

In a state of panic, overwhelm, dread. Burning heart, tingling, bad sleep and waking.

How long can I endure without collapsing? I have to keep going. My negative brain won't allow hope or peace or anything.

I know many of is are battling with crippling symptoms here so we are not alone. But gee does it feel lonely.

Wishing everyone some peace.

@Catbird I am moving to Warrnambool on the coast in Victoria. xx More oxygen in the air than here. I live at 1000m altitude currently.

A huge loving comforting hug from me @Tracey I promise you it will be significantly easier after the transition, this whole pressure cooker will calm down.

It's so incredibly brutal going through all of this while on wd and yet you do it, you keep moving forward no matter how slowly, at your own pace! what you are capable of is excely how it should be.

You are amazing and incredibly strong, always remember that.

Better days are soon to come 🩷🩷

Edited May 25May 25 by Fullhealing

Wish I could so more for you 😢

I send You a big hug, @Tracey , You are not alone, we are here for You. I can not imagine how much strength it must cost to make all these decisions during withdrawal. You are stong, you keep going, doing what needs to be done - I admire You.

1 hour ago, Nemina said:

I send You a big hug, @Tracey , You are not alone, we are here for You. I can not imagine how much strength it must cost to make all these decisions during withdrawal. You are stong, you keep going, doing what needs to be done - I admire You.

Thanks @Nemina ,

yes all the big decisions are a huge part of the exhaustion and stress. Hope I make it through. I want a life outside of this all consuming withdrawal. I have lost so much the past few years. Maybe I needed a complete destruction of 'self' as part of my life process. Maybe this is all meant to be.

Hug back dear @Nemina 🩷💛