45 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

So sorry dear @Tracey we share the same awful spot atm, hating every second but we still keep moving forward though it feels the opposite, our system gives in a good brave fight with this painful result, in the meantime we keep surviving, as hard as it is to we are much stronger than we feel, we can handle it, we prove this to ourselves with every passing second and we will continue to do so.

Wishing you long bring window that you are so deserve 🩷

Sure does feel the opposite and every second is painful.

Yep we have to keep surviving, keep breathing moment to moment.

Sending you love and a hug 💚🥰

@Tracey This is what makes this journey so hard no.one knows what is truly going on and we are all different. Choosing the most complex organ in the body to destabilise wow !! We certainly put our head in the lions mouth . Did we know it would turn out like this ,of course not ,who would be so daft . Saying all that everyone of us on here are the bravest and most courageous people I know and if we had issues before these meds we certainly won't afterwards. Stay strong we are all together in this we are never alone ❤️

29 minutes ago, Catbird said:

Thinking of you @Tracey , when's the moving meant to be happening? 💕

Place gets listed next week. I hope it sells quickly so I am out in a few months. I am way ahead of myself due to anxiety and not being able to function properly. What a nightmare.

I haven't been able to grieve Pearl and Kami properly either. Just awful. Hope it comes later. It all seems like a bad dream.

Hope you are a bit more settled @Catbird xx

5 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Tracey This is what makes this journey so hard no.one knows what is truly going on and we are all different. Choosing the most complex organ in the body to destabilise wow !! We certainly put our head in the lions mouth . Did we know it would turn out like this ,of course not ,who would be so daft . Saying all that everyone of us on here are the bravest and most courageous people I know and if we had issues before these meds we certainly won't afterwards. Stay strong we are all together in this we are never alone ❤️

Thank you @Beehive xxxx

Off to bed now , almost 9 pm. Have peaceful day.

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Place gets listed next week. I hope it sells quickly so I am out in a few months. I am way ahead of myself due to anxiety and not being able to function properly. What a nightmare.

I haven't been able to grieve Pearl and Kami properly either. Just awful. Hope it comes later. It all seems like a bad dream.

Hope you are a bit more settled @Catbird xx

Thanks @Tracey i am feeling a bit better but not out of the woods so to speak. It sounds so tough dealing with selling and moving. It’s difficult enough without the stress of WD. And the loss of your beloved animals. It’s more than a bad dream, sounds more like a living nightmare. Thinking of you a lot and sending love and wishes to the tablelands 💕

Well it is 1.5 hours after my dose and starting to get parathaesia, anxiety, jelly legs. I woke up ok with none of this, no real dread/ doom.

This should be my 'good' every other day.

When I dropped end of December I was at least getting some relief more often. It did get worse just prior to the 1 day updose with the definite decision to take action on moving. But has just become worse since that time and updose 6 weeks or more ago.

Is it the stress, grief, or am I now reacting to dose?

@Chippy you did say that my later morning aggravation was a long time to react after taking but wouldn't it be that peak uptake is at play ? I think sertraline is 4-6 hours ?

I just don't know what to do. How long can I endure?

Writing this has distracted me a bit. I will see what happens as day goes on. I have to face the supermarkets today.

I also feel really upset that I am uprooting my two older cats and two dogs by moving them. But that will be amplified by my extremely negative brain and fear at the moment.

Sorry to hear this @Tracey. Personally I don't think you can isolate a definite cause. Underlying emotions are always present and you have been under significant and sustained pressure for some time now. In the time I've known you you've endured workplace bullying, financial stress, the loss of your beloved animals, the pressure to sell your property and move all whilst trying to taper psychiatric medications. It's no wonder your sympathetic nervous system is on alert - it's trying to get your attention and you already know this.

I wish there was something I could do for you to give you some respite. All I can suggest is to be super kind to yourself and try to let a few things go - a difficult ask when your executive decision making is already likely compromised from WD + stress. Any siblings who can come and help out? 💕

3 hours ago, Catbird said:

Sorry to hear this @Tracey. Personally I don't think you can isolate a definite cause. Underlying emotions are always present and you have been under significant and sustained pressure for some time now. In the time I've known you you've endured workplace bullying, financial stress, the loss of your beloved animals, the pressure to sell your property and move all whilst trying to taper psychiatric medications. It's no wonder your sympathetic nervous system is on alert - it's trying to get your attention and you already know this.

I wish there was something I could do for you to give you some respite. All I can suggest is to be super kind to yourself and try to let a few things go - a difficult ask when your executive decision making is already likely compromised from WD + stress. Any siblings who can come and help out? 💕

Thanks @Catbird ,

Yes you are right. Just too much stress, shock, grief.

I made it through grocery shopping. The symptoms didn't progress and brain was just ok.

So I am swinging back to holding my dose again.

I have two friends helping when they can a now my neighbour. Just wish I had someone staying here with me. 😘😢

5 hours ago, Tracey said:

Well it is 1.5 hours after my dose and starting to get parathaesia, anxiety, jelly legs. I woke up ok with none of this, no real dread/ doom.

This should be my 'good' every other day.

When I dropped end of December I was at least getting some relief more often. It did get worse just prior to the 1 day updose with the definite decision to take action on moving. But has just become worse since that time and updose 6 weeks or more ago.

Is it the stress, grief, or am I now reacting to dose?

@Chippy you did say that my later morning aggravation was a long time to react after taking but wouldn't it be that peak uptake is at play ? I think sertraline is 4-6 hours ?

I just don't know what to do. How long can I endure?

Writing this has distracted me a bit. I will see what happens as day goes on. I have to face the supermarkets today.

I also feel really upset that I am uprooting my two older cats and two dogs by moving them. But that will be amplified by my extremely negative brain and fear at the moment.

Oh @Tracey I'm so sorry, the struggles you are going through at the same time would have challenged everyone's strength, each part adds to this general burn under angry chemicals that make legitimate difficulties unbearable. my heart goes out to you, I wish I could give you a real comforting hug and accompany you closely.

I can only say that you can bear it all, it will indeed be tough on other levels but your ability to deal with hardships is much greater than your mind let alone wd mind will allow you to believe but you will succeed as you have done so far to prove it otherwise with small steps forward with a lot of self-compassion.

Hang in there, you can and you will get through this.

Much love to you. 🩷🩷

Edited May 15May 15 by Fullhealing

It would be great if you had someone staying, might help with nervous system regulation having a calmer person around 💕

8 hours ago, Tracey said:

@Chippy you did say that my later morning aggravation was a long time to react after taking but wouldn't it be that peak uptake is at play ? I think sertraline is 4-6 hours ?

I always look at the first hour or so of taking the drug to see if you are having an immediate reaction to the drug itself. Peak plasma is 4.5-8.4 hours according to the Maudsley. So I guess it is possible that the reaction time could be longer than an hour or two. I think its wise to try not to convince yourself you are reacting. If you take that data, you could say worsening at 8 hours for some would be the sign of a reaction on that basis.

The only thing you can do is to try to drop a really small amount and see how you react. Im not sure I am a fan of this right now.

I agree with @Catbird You have been through so much, I would be careful about adding more to your plate and dropping your dose.

Sending love and strength xxxx

15 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh @Tracey I'm so sorry, the struggles you are going through at the same time would have challenged everyone's strength, each part adds to this general burn under angry chemicals that make legitimate difficulties unbearable. my heart goes out to you, I wish I could give you a real comforting hug and accompany you closely.

I can only say that you can bear it all, it will indeed be tough on other levels but your ability to deal with hardships is much greater than your mind let alone wd mind will allow you to believe but you will succeed as you have done so far to prove it otherwise with small steps forward with a lot of self-compassion.

Hang in there, you can and you will get through this.

Much love to you. 🩷🩷

Thank you from my whole heart (if that makes sense) for your encouragement and strength.

Very comforting. My brain tells me otherwise but I know it is the chemicals playing a big part in this.

Just made it through food shopping. The loud music and busy supermarket was a huge challenge yesterday.

I will keep going day by day. I will survive this.

13 hours ago, Chippy said:

I always look at the first hour or so of taking the drug to see if you are having an immediate reaction to the drug itself. Peak plasma is 4.5-8.4 hours according to the Maudsley. So I guess it is possible that the reaction time could be longer than an hour or two. I think its wise to try not to convince yourself you are reacting. If you take that data, you could say worsening at 8 hours for some would be the sign of a reaction on that basis.

The only thing you can do is to try to drop a really small amount and see how you react. Im not sure I am a fan of this right now.

I agree with @Catbird You have been through so much, I would be careful about adding more to your plate and dropping your dose.

Sending love and strength xxxx

There is no immediate reaction I don't think. Maybe my head feels a bit drowsy sometimes just for 10 minutes pretty much straight away but that is about it.

Back to holding my dose at the moment. It has only been 4.5 months.

Thanks for sending some strength and love dear @Chippy .

21 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Thank you from my whole heart (if that makes sense) for your encouragement and strength.

Very comforting. My brain tells me otherwise but I know it is the chemicals playing a big part in this.

Just made it through food shopping. The loud music and busy supermarket was a huge challenge yesterday.

I will keep going day by day. I will survive this.

You definitely will xxx hugs!

Today was not good. Maybe the more this continues the more exhausted I am becoming. The length of time without a real window is demoralising. Relentless.

Tomorrow should be better if the every second day pattern is happening. I wish I could get some peace and have a break.

11 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

You definitely will hugs xxx

So tired tonight. Thanks @Fullhealing

Sorry I keep

posting the same old stuff. Trying not to dwell on how I feel but it is so intense.

I did a meditation that helped for awhile today. Trying to be with the sensations and discomfort in my body to help my window of tolerance. Haven't been doing as much meditation lately as finding it harder to settle. Will get back to it.

Wishing everyone a peaceful day or night. 🙏

Sending love to you down under @Tracey and wishing for a better day tomorrow.

Please don’t apologise for posting, it’s good to share. We are here for you.

I think working on those coping skills is valuable. Somedays it’s harder to implement than others. We keep practicing though. Xxxx

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Today was not good. Maybe the more this continues the more exhausted I am becoming. The length of time without a real window is demoralising. Relentless.

Tomorrow should be better if the every second day pattern is happening. I wish I could get some peace and have a break.

So tired tonight. Thanks @Fullhealing

Sorry I keep

posting the same old stuff. Trying not to dwell on how I feel but it is so intense.

I did a meditation that helped for awhile today. Trying to be with the sensations and discomfort in my body to help my window of tolerance. Haven't been doing as much meditation lately as finding it harder to settle. Will get back to it.

Wishing everyone a peaceful day or night. 🙏

Oh @Tracey please don't ever apologize for any of the steam you're letting out, wd loop is horrible and writing it out helps release some.

I'm so proud of you for continuing to fight, sitting with the hard feelings and letting them be is about the hardest thing there is but with practice it becomes a little more bearable, meditation is such a great tool, glad you're able to do it and it's helpful, it won't always work, that's okay, it's something I personally can't do with the constant thorns in my as#*, activity is more my thing but to each his own with what gives relief.

This exhaustion you feel only makes sense if you think about the war that's going on inside with these evil chemicals, it means the system keeps kicking and doesn't give up, that's good.

You're a brave fighter, remember that.

Over time, in tiny steps, things will loosen up a bit.

Hugs xxxx

Edited May 16May 16 by Fullhealing

18 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh @Tracey please don't ever apologize for any of the steam you're letting out, wd loop is horrible and writing it out helps release some.

I'm so proud of you for continuing to fight, sitting with the hard feelings and letting them be is about the hardest thing there is but with practice it becomes a little more bearable, meditation is such a great tool, glad you're able to do it and it's helpful, it won't always work, that's okay, it's something I personally can't do with the constant thorns in my as#*, activity is more my thing but to each his own with what gives relief.

This exhaustion you feel only makes sense if you think about the war that's going on inside with these evil chemicals, it means the system keeps kicking and doesn't give up, that's good.

You're a brave fighter, remember that.

Over time, in tiny steps, things will loosen up a bit.

Hugs xxxx

I really hope so dear @Fullhealing .

The black cloud is probably the worst thing. My head gets really weird and heavy and I have no say in it. It was lifting all of a sudden but lately seems way more long lived and constant. Feels very chemical. But today I was thinking am I one of the people that needs ad's? Doubting getting off at the moment.

But I am stuck, can't go up or down. Nothing seems to help. Can't exercise like I used to 6 montgs ago ( just walking slowly).

Doing things can help but when I stop I am weak and trembling. Must be exhausted.

Will try to get back to meditation, very hard.

Thank you @Chippy , @Fullhealing . You are a good team. I really trust you and will keep fighting, just hope I am not doing myself harm by being so unwell. I still

have 40% roughly receptor occupancy so am hoping I will stabilise. No idea how it works. Would rather be on nothing but this s where I am.

This forum is a life line for me. xx

Edited May 17May 17 by Tracey

10 minutes ago, Tracey said:

But today I was thinking am I one of the people that needs ad's?

No one needs antidepressants Tracey. Tbh they don’t play well with our bodies. Nasty chemicals that shouldn’t be used imo.

11 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Doubting getting off at the moment.

You’ll get off! Just a little time required before you can continue on your journey.

12 minutes ago, Tracey said:

But I am stuck, can't go up or down. Nothing seems to help. Can't exercise like I used to 6 montgs ago ( just walking slowly).

I know it’s hard at the moment. I’ve heard of people sticking out a hold for 12-18 months and then stabilising. I know that sounds awful in many ways, but just to reassure you that just because things are like this now doesn’t mean they will continue to be this way. You’re doing your best right now. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

14 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Will try to get back to meditation, very hard.

It is hard. I did it at the start. Eventually I decided it wasn’t for me. But for some it’s very helpful I know. I think I find peace in other ways. I think we can all seek that peace out in life but it manifests differently for each of us. Sometimes it is just about getting through the day as best you can until things become easier. Sounds overly simple but when it’s bad that’s enough.

16 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Thank you @Chippy , @Fullhealing . You are a good team.

This forum is a life line for me. xx

You are loved here Tracey and we can’t wait for things to be easier for you. It will come. Xxx

Thinking of you @Tracey 💕

2 hours ago, Tracey said:

I really hope so dear @Fullhealing .

The black cloud is probably the worst thing. My head gets really weird and heavy and I have no say in it. It was lifting all of a sudden but lately seems way more long lived and constant. Feels very chemical. But today I was thinking am I one of the people that needs ad's? Doubting getting off at the moment.

But I am stuck, can't go up or down. Nothing seems to help. Can't exercise like I used to 6 montgs ago ( just walking slowly).

Doing things can help but when I stop I am weak and trembling. Must be exhausted.

Will try to get back to meditation, very hard.

Thank you @Chippy , @Fullhealing . You are a good team. I really trust you and will keep fighting, just hope I am not doing myself harm by being so unwell. I still

have 40% roughly receptor occupancy so am hoping I will stabilise. No idea how it works. Would rather be on nothing but this s where I am.

This forum is a life line for me. xx

The consuming doubts and all the chemical chaos that is strongly present wil fade with time, I am with you on so many days like this, this awful endless suffering but then a window pops up with the glimpse of a sane, balanced life, full of hope and desire, this is us, under this thick, terrible chemical layer, we just have to hold on, when the system finishes its war we will get there.

I know it is difficult for you to see a different positive future especially with all the pressures around you but it is there, every second of survival you get closer.

Dear @Tracey you are much stronger and capable than you feel atm, you are proving it with every passing moment, just hang in there.

We are by your side all the way, pushing forward together.

Much love and healing to you xxxx

Thinking of you @Tracey ❤️

I hope you will get all these stressors behind you soon. I believe that you will experience recovery after that. So much stress on an injured nervous system is a real problem. But you will make it through and you will recover.

Hi @Tracey how are you today?

On 5/17/2026 at 3:02 PM, Chippy said:

No one needs antidepressants Tracey. Tbh they don’t play well with our bodies. Nasty chemicals that shouldn’t be used imo.

You’ll get off! Just a little time required before you can continue on your journey.

I know it’s hard at the moment. I’ve heard of people sticking out a hold for 12-18 months and then stabilising. I know that sounds awful in many ways, but just to reassure you that just because things are like this now doesn’t mean they will continue to be this way. You’re doing your best right now. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

It is hard. I did it at the start. Eventually I decided it wasn’t for me. But for some it’s very helpful I know. I think I find peace in other ways. I think we can all seek that peace out in life but it manifests differently for each of us. Sometimes it is just about getting through the day as best you can until things become easier. Sounds overly simple but when it’s bad that’s enough.

You are loved here Tracey and we can’t wait for things to be easier for you. It will come. Xxx

Thank you for such a nourishing reply to my concerns @Chippy .

Feels like I am part of a kind family here. 🙏

On 5/19/2026 at 11:23 AM, Catbird said:

Hi @Tracey how are you today?

The last few days since a horrible Saturday, have been more tolerable. Less impending doom.

Thanks for checking in and asking @Catbird

Weather has turned wintery so now I am keeping wood up to heater, Big job.

Hope you have settled with your symptoms.