Hi all, slowly moving over from SA, which as you all know closes end of the month for posting. So I didn't know how to transfer my 43 pages

over, but you can still read them on there. So I was on Mirtazapine for sleep, 15mg at first but then dropped to 7.5mg what worked best. So

memory like sieve I was on from mid 2021 until mid 2022, and CTd none the wiser. BIG mistake. So reinstated and tapered for 18 month.

jumping off 8th Jan 2025. 

 

So just a year off, and been in windows and waves though out, more waves than windows though. Sleep very bad no more than 4 hours for a year.                          for the last 55 days I have been in the worst wave ever. A LIVING HELL. Now early this morning has been horrendous, but fingers crossed I am

lifting slightly now. So yes awake for 20 hours a day does get to you, but we just have to accept. Tinnitus has lowered slightly today, but mood

I am tracking with food.

 

Breakfast this morning affected me in 10 minutes after eating, I had been not bad before, then mood dropped like a stone. Malaise and the

horrible loathsome feeling only a nasty wave gives, this lasted 2.5 hours, nasty. I will see how I am affected at lunchtime, which looking at the

clock is now. So yes onwards I plod. catch you later,      B.

 

PS Here's my SA Blog

Welcome to the forum, NT1100B.

 

I am the Recovery Assistant Bot and I am here to post some information for you whilst we await replies from other members.

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications. If you are experiencing an adverse reaction to them, withdrawal difficulties or are injured by them, we are very sorry to hear this and will do what we can to help you.

 

While we are waiting for human members to reply, there are some things you can do that will help you get the most out of this forum whilst you await further support.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help

 

Please update your signature. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the guides linked above, but here is a direct link:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help&hid=8

 

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default.

 

If you have migrated here from "SurvivingAntidepressants" feel free to post a link to your old thread in this one, or include it in your signature.

 

We hope that you will find this forum helpful.

Hey B!

 

I'm so glad to see you here!

 

Made my day when your thread came through. :) 

 

I've linked your SA thread above so people can get to it from here.

 

I copied over your signature for you.

 

I've uploaded your fancy avatar/logo for you. 

 

There you go all moved in.

 

Now it's a bit different here and still a work in progress. A month ago it didn't exist!

 

Couple of things to help you get started

 

To quote there are a few ways. My favourite is this:

 

1. Click the black 'speech bubble button' in the toolbar above. If you hover your mouse over it it will say 'insert quote'. Now that won't do anything other than put a white box in there for you.

2. Highlight the bit of text you want to quote. Copy it (Ctrl C)

3. Click in the fancy white box you made and Paste the copied text in here (Ctrl V). All done you made a nice neat clean quote.

4. Click on the grey area below which is where you are supposed to type what you want to say. Make your comment.

5. Repeat 1-4 as many time as you want!

 

Notifications :

The notifications work differently here. When you post on a thread it automatically subscribes you to that thread. Then every time someone posts on that thread, you get an email at the address you provided when you signed up.

 

Hope that all makes sense. If you have any problems what so ever you make sure you text me and Ill get straight on it. VIP membership for you mate!

 

I'm glad you are lifting a bit between meals. I know it's not much but something. Time is the healer as we know.

 

Chippy

Good to see you here, and sorry to hear that you’re in a bad wave right now. 

My sleep is really up and down, more down than up, will get maybe 1 good night a week (by good I mean maybe 5 hours!)

Take care

Hi B,

 

Thank you for joining.

 

I hope you get the same sort of support you've been getting in the past here. Certainly, some of the people you've been chatting to are here so that should continue, at least, which I hope will be of some comfort to you.

Hey B, glad you made it over here. Some day, to be able to read your success story and you read mine as well as many others will be a blessing and celebration! ? 

 

You will lift, as you always does, it just takes an undetermined amount of time right now. But the brain will shift again. Get good fiber from veggies at every meal, gradually build up, as the gut inflammation goes down, so will the brain inflammation. Turmeric with some black pepper or ginger and some non-PUFA oil/butter/tallow will help with inflammation. It’s inexpensive as a spice, our brains like good fats, then the fiber—win win win. Everything in moderation.

 

One day, we’ll meet! I’ll make a trip out to the UK to see all of you, who have made a little group that I ended up finding on SA due to the Mirt situation. 

 

God bless you B!

Morning all, thanks for the avatar Chippy.

 

So I am back off my 3.15 am walk, awake at midnight after 3 hours broken sleep on a 0 again. Pacing bungalow again

on awakening, and no chance of any more sleep. So yes lets see what is in store for me today.

Just a huge THANKS for LUKE and CHIPPY for setting up this website.

 

Take care all,      B.       Catch you later.

Hey B

 

Glad you got here and are all up and running mate. 

 

Hope you get a big lift today. 

 

Chippy

Hi all and thanks for the warm welcome. Well I have just got back from the supermarket getting things I had forgot

on Saturday with zonked out brain. Never suffered that before. Today I wrote a list, but it was never out of my pocket.

 

Brain working again. Well some might know yesterday from before midnight I was in the most horrendous state I

have ever been in. Totally housebound, I would have been bedbound if not for Akathisia, well I use that term as I

just cannot stay in one position, just on edge, uneasy, brain ragged.

 

So to think of getting in the car yesterday was OUT of the question completely, a hiding all day, day. So yes it did

ease from about 11am and I probably lifted to a 3, which is still low but that was from BELOW 0. I was worse than

I could mark with numbers.

 

So anyway Chippy, I am still undecided on my car recall, at the minute I could do it. But it's exactly 25 hours ahead,

if only we knew our condition ahead. Now after a 60 day vicious wave, AM I coming out??? or is this just another

cruel taunting few hours long reprieve ?

 

If I re-schedule I am still not guaranteed a window, the way this last wave has been it's almost felt PERMANENT.

I will wait until mid-day, then ring them to see if it's still on and make my decision. The thing is it's dark when I

set off, which is GOOD. Yes I will check mid-day, go ahead then if I am horrendous in the morning I will just make

up a lame excuse. That WILL work. I don't want to miss it if I can help it. Dentist on the 22nd will be cancelled.

Robbing gits.

Take care all B.

Hey B

 

Brain working again.

Great stuff mate!

 

if only we knew our condition ahead.

This is the issue isn't it mate

 

That WILL work.

Good plan, see how you feel. Good to get it out the way but you just don't know atm do you! I guess worse case you could call in the morning and cancel. They can't make you go! Im sure you can find a sensible excuse.

Hey @NT1100B 

 

Nice to see you here. I have just heard about this website so signed up. I look forward to being in touch. I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and again thank you for your support and guidance to me over these past periods. You are doing brilliantly in having been drug free for a year now but I understand how wretched it has been for you. If I've got the wrong person please forgive me.

 

@Moonlightlotus

NT1100BHi all, slowly moving over from SA, which as you all know closes end of the month for posting. So I didn't know how to transfer my 43 pages

over, but you can still read them on there. So I was on Mirtazapine for sleep, 15mg at first but then dropped to 7.5mg what worked best. So

memory like sieve I was on from mid 2021 until mid 2022, and CTd none the wiser. BIG mistake. So reinstated and tapered for 18 month.

jumping off 8th Jan 2025. 

 

So just a year off, and been in windows and waves though out, more waves than windows though. Sleep very bad no more than 4 hours for a year.                          for the last 55 days I have been in the worst wave ever. A LIVING HELL. Now early this morning has been horrendous, but fingers crossed I am

lifting slightly now. So yes awake for 20 hours a day does get to you, but we just have to accept. Tinnitus has lowered slightly today, but mood

I am tracking with food.

 

Breakfast this morning affected me in 10 minutes after eating, I had been not bad before, then mood dropped like a stone. Malaise and the

horrible loathsome feeling only a nasty wave gives, this lasted 2.5 hours, nasty. I will see how I am affected at lunchtime, which looking at the

clock is now. So yes onwards I plod. catch you later,      B.

 

PS Here's my SA Blog

 

 

How are you feeling being off all meds now?? What dose did you jump off at?

The insomnia can be awful, as its no fun waking up at 3 am not being able to go back to sleep, especially knowing the mind is about to ruminate on anything and everything.

Hey B, hope you stayed at a 3 or went higher. Take care!

Morning all, after a decent day yesterday it's back to the living hell 1am this morning. So hard to understand the

difference, I think a good way to describe it, is like it's poison running through your veins creating the horrible, horrible

feelings and symptoms, then in like yesterdays 12 hour lift, it's like the brain warping poison is GONE. Pure blood

again. So hard to describe the debilitating waves, so yesterday about 6.30am when it lifted, where does the wave go?

 

It's sure as hell back from 1am, so it hasn't been far away. 60 days of hell now, yesterday being the only short break.

So back now to the second, minute, hour and day schedule, over a year off and very little in the way of improvement.

So it's keep gently plodding.

Take care all,       B.

Hey B

 

Nice to see you here as well as on SA as ever! Sorry your day is so bad, I hope it lifts mate.

 

Chippy

Hi B, I’ll pray it lifts for you and others today and everyday-that this horror stops and we have happy windows. It’s supposed to be 50 here today—what crazy weather is this for January? Hopefully the relative warmth comes your way tomorrow and cheers up you.

Morning B

Sorry I haven't kept up with things on SA this morning. We decided to go live with the new site here.

Been a busy hour!

Chippy

Hey @Chippy no worries mate, I had guessed exactly that that's what you would be doing. This is VERY important stuff mate

a lifeline. We would be lost when SA closes end of the month, so yes you and Luke, top marks for getting this up and running.

Now I have been awake since 1am and was a bit dodgy after breakfast, but just forced myself out at 9am, and have gradually

lifted since. Low blood sugar in town and a bit shaky, so a quick bite on food I shouldn't but it did the trick and got me home. I

guess I am on a 5-6 now so a big difference from when I was praying for a heart attack.

Take care,      B.👍 

Had to do something mate. Cant let the community die! Im glad to be back on this type of platform. Much more user friendly!

10 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

guess I am on a 5-6 now so a big difference from when I was praying for a heart attack.

This is great news mate 5/6! maybe its lifting a bit now. I really hope so mate.

Chippy

Hi there, so yes I am repeating a bit here, from SA, but awoke on a 0 this morning after 3 hours broken sleep

begging god to take me, praying for a heart attack to be out of the relentless misery. This would be about 1.15am.

Strangely while watching, or listening to a sleep hypnosis on youtube I very very slowly but surely lifted. I got out

for a shorter walk at 5am, this I planned as I already, depending on mood had planned a walk down town. See above.

So yes it just shows how quick the mood and whole outlook on life can change at the drop of a hat.

Take care all.      B.😁    

Thanks Chippy yes, I can only hope. 

Yes you have both got this site very uses friendly, the user numbers are going to sky rocket after the 31st. Yes from how I

regard these Forums, it's very like AA, we find helping others find their way out, HELPS us every bit as much. This is how

it psychologically  works. Again VERY WELL DONE.👍

Hi B., I can feel you. We have to support each others to be able to go through this hell. I am also at -0, terrible mood, awful anhedonia, living torture. I am now with my grandson who was born October 31 but I cannot feel nothing for him. It is inhumane, unbelievable, I cannot recognize myself, it's not me, I hate myself. How is it possible such a darkness?!?!? Almost 2 years I am in this unbearable anhedonia which take off my saoul. There is not another torture on earth as the antidepressant withdrawal...

Svetla 

Hi @skamen Yes it's beyond what we can comprehend Svetla, but I have had some relief today, so this is proof that healing

very slowly does happen. Please don't give up hope, time, time and more time is the healer. Just keep taking each second, minute,

hour and day as they come Svetla, try to keep stress low and keep gently plodding, my heart goes out to you as it is so hard, but if

we stick together, through thick and thin, we will get to a full recovery in time.

Take care, and please stay safe,          B.🙏🙏🙏🌷 

5 hours ago, NT1100B said:

So yes it just shows how quick the mood and whole outlook on life can change at the drop of a hat.

It's been crazy how my mood can shift just in 5 minutes. A classic withdrawal rollercoaster.

Edited January 14Jan 14 by Marina

I am so glad for you, B. I hope that will happen with me too. Have you done something to obtain this relief? I do y'know what to do, how to manage this hell...

Svetla