Morning all, well awoke after 3 hours broken sleep at 11.30pm, pacing Bungalow and in and out of bed until

2.45am, zero more sleep so it was out for a walk. 4c but dry and felt warmer. Oh no wind, that's why. So was

on a 1 when I first awoke, but as nausea has ramped up I have dropped to a 0, it is worse than when I first stopped

the Mirt. Looking in my score diary last night, last 2.6 months there's more zeros than anywhere else in it.

 

Longest most evil wave throughout the whole PWD, and STILL counting. So yes feeling very bad again this morning

I was hoping to improve for my car going in tomorrow, but zero chance of that. Midnight on is horrendous, EVERY night.

So yes with lack of proper sleep, no dreams for months now, it really does get one down.

 

What a god forsaken existence, hanging on through the most horrible feelings we have EVER endured, and still not seeing

any improvement, more rather the opposite and getting worse. Well, all I can do is keep plodding.

Take care all,        B.

Awful! Im right there with you 😮‍💨

Praying for tiny window for us.

Keep being strong and keep pushing 🙏

24 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Awful! Im right there with you 😮‍💨

Praying for tiny window for us.

Keep being strong and keep pushing 🙏

We all are B 😞

 

There will light at the end of this tunnel. It’s just a really long tunnel that’s all. 
 

Keep plodding buddy!

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Awful! Im right there with you 😮‍💨

Praying for tiny window for us.

Keep being strong and keep pushing 🙏

Sorry @Fullhealing that you are suffering the same, a living hell isn't it. Let's  hope we both see 

some improvements very soon.🤞

Take care and stay strong 💪           B.

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Keep plodding buddy!

Thanks @Chippy All we can do mate. But truly it is the longest and worst of the lot.

Take care,         B.

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy All we can do mate. But truly it is the longest and worst of the lot.

Take care,         B.

I know bud 😟 I had a magic wand. Hate the suffering.

A living hell, B., I confirm this. A painful existence without end. I am in month 12 of unbearable suffering. I pray the Universe for all of us for some relief. Please!

Svetla

28 minutes ago, skamen said:

A living hell, B., I confirm this. A painful existence without end. I am in month 12 of unbearable suffering. I pray the Universe for all of us for some relief. Please!

Svetla

Wishing this for you very soon. 

2 hours ago, skamen said:

I pray the Universe for all of us for some relief. Please!

Svetla

Thanks @skamen sorry you are enduring the same, we will fight together and beat it.

Praying for you Svetla and sending you strength.

Take care,       B.🙏🙏🌷

Morning all, disgruntled again pacing Bungalow at 11pm, 2.5 hours sleep, this is just getting

worse and worse, I just cannot get relaxed anymore and this wave is just never ending, not 

sure how I am going to get through the day. Nightmare.

Take care all,      B.🤞 

Hey B, do what you can to review one or more of the most positive days you have in your diary. Feel in your heart and body what those days were like. They will return again. This is just a very sh!tty nightmare, you will wake up out of soon. I wholeheartedly pray for that for you and everyone enduring such horrible waves. I have had some waves recently too with perimenopause hormone shifts, I feel a bit better. But what you, @skamen and many others are going through for so long is just brutal. I wish you peace, comfort, joy, and love-filled days!

Take care my friend.

3 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

But what you, @skamen and many others are going through for so long is just brutal. I wish you peace, comfort, joy, and love-filled days!

Take care my friend.

Hi @namastejen1 Sorry you are going through a bit of a rough patch as well, I hope you pick up soon.

Yes I am afraid I am in a living hell at the moment, and even time is struggling to fix it. Onwards I plod.

Take great care,       B.🙏🙏🌷

@NT1100B 

Hi B. I saw that you are having trouble with sleep. That was one of the hardest parts of withdrawal for me, and I know how exhausting it can be. 

 

You may have already tried this, or it may not be for you, but one thing that helped me a little was taking warm baths with Epsom salt. It did not solve the problem or make a big change, so I would not want to suggest it as anything more than a small comfort. For me, it helped with relaxation and sometimes allowed me to get a bit more sleep.

 

My nights were often broken up into short stretches of sleep, with a warm bath (with the salt) in between when I woke up. I also used podcasts and set a timer so they would turn off automatically after a short while. Having something gentle to focus on helped me get through the long nights.

 

The nights were still very hard, but having a few options helped me feel less stuck. If it would be helpful at all, I am here and happy to share more about my experience or answer any questions. Hang in there. It does get better over time, even when it is hard to imagine.

13 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Hang in there. It does get better over time, even when it is hard to imagine.

Thanks @RachelSusan for the very kind advise and support, very much appreciated. Just one problem

with the bath solution, I don't have one. I have a wet room, what only has a shower, so yes it's 13 years

since I last had a bath.  Raydox was what we used to use back then for a relaxing bath. I miss it.

But thanks though for your kind thoughts, we are like a family, and together we will push through to full

recovery with each others support. I hope you are doing well yourself.🤞

Take care,         B.

Morning all, I am later this morning after more sleep. Now I am not sure how much more as it was so 

broken, but I am guessing about 6 hours. I think my battered brain had reached exhaustion point.

 

So back of a 6am walk, 3c with a stiff east wind making it feel cool, but still dry for now. So yesterday

was successful  with my car, I  was out hours before I was booked in as I just had to get there before

the morning traffic got going. Call it very overcautious WAVE thinking. I was on a 1 with nerves jangling

but I got it done.

 

Somehow I bumbled through it. So yes my own wild guess had been right, a broken ABS sensor. But this

had been throwing up another 4 false faults on the dash. The mechanic was good, showing me how they

diagnose the fault on the laptop, on a graph of all 4 wheels moving, he points out the one not displaying

the same trajectory.

 

They are doing this work day in and day out, so they know there job. So I left him too it and had a walk 

around that area of town, and an hour later when I got back to the garage, the job was done. Car back

to normal. Not cheap, a sensor on Ebay I could get for £15, they charged £58, now he said they had tried

cheap ones, but too many failures, computer not recognising them!

 

So yes cheap is not always the best, but with VAT and labour it was just under £153, 1 hours work. But it's

the diagnosis which is the BIG one. The car being fixed was a MEGA RELIEF. So yes job done. So yes as the

day had progressed even on my walk while the car was being fixed, I was slowly lifting, and lifted to a 4 

yesterday afternoon. I ordered another sick note as well, but am still waiting for it to come through to my

mobile, 🤞that I get that today.

 

So the next big one is my trip up to Carlisle next Wednesday for the car recall, some airbag fault apparently,

Now the mechanic said they go through the car with a fine tooth comb, looking for a more MONEY fix, but

that would be just advisory, so you politely tell them do do one. So anyway back to PWD, not feeling as bad

now, so I will see how today pans out.👍

Take care all,       B.👍

 

 

On 1/19/2026 at 7:47 AM, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy yes I am repeating myself a bit, but yes even besides the cold I am still in one hell of

a nasty, long long lasting wave. So with very little sleep for now over a year, it just gets you down.

So licking my wounds at the moment.

take care,           B.🤞 

I'm just wondering B, whether you are using anything supplement wise to help with the sleep?

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @RachelSusan for the very kind advise and support, very much appreciated. Just one problem

with the bath solution, I don't have one. I have a wet room, what only has a shower, so yes it's 13 years

since I last had a bath. 

 

You may want to try turning the lights off in there and just sitting down.

 

I like doing that in a large shower much more than I like taking a bath, and a wet room is an entire room that's a shower.

 

40 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

They are doing this work day in and day out, so they know there job. So I left him too it and had a walk 

around that area of town, and an hour later when I got back to the garage, the job was done. Car back

to normal. Not cheap, a sensor on Ebay I could get for £15, they charged £58, now he said they had tried

cheap ones, but too many failures, computer not recognising them!

 

So yes cheap is not always the best, but with VAT and labour it was just under £153, 1 hours work. But it's

the diagnosis which is the BIG one. The car being fixed was a MEGA RELIEF. So yes job done. So yes as the

day had progressed even on my walk while the car was being fixed, I was slowly lifting, and lifted to a 4 

yesterday afternoon. I ordered another sick note as well, but am still waiting for it to come through to my

mobile, 🤞that I get that today.

 

Well done for getting it sorted.

 

There are two main reasons why most places won't entertain cheap ebay parts:

• As you know, they can fail. If the garage fitted it, that then means they have to have the car back to do the job again for free, this represents significant cost to them in terms of lost revenue.
• They use suppliers that make deliveries multiple times a day, so if they need a part, they can have it within a couple of hours max. These suppliers typically only stock traditional brands, but also there is a cost to this service that does get built in to the final price.

Finally, yeah the labour cost sounds very high, but most of that is covering the overheads of running a bricks and mortar business, which are huge now in the UK.

 

 

40 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

 

So anyway back to PWD, not feeling as bad

now, so I will see how today pans out.👍

 

Here's hoping that you have some better times coming up.

Hi @Luke yes good points mate. Yes car parts + labour, my normal garage are £16 an hour cheaper, but couldn't

fix until the 18th Feb. So that closed that one. 20% VAT doesn't help. Now I did see a genuine ABS sensor on Ebay £106 !!!!!

Couldn't just figure whether that was for one or 2. But no my mind is at ease, so job done.  

 

Now you can buy code scanners of Ebay now, BUT if you don't know how to use them, you could end up doing

even more damage and it end up costing you more. Now I used to like tinkering, I have put clutches in old cars,

but I am going back 45 years, very few electrics then, not even electric windows on most cars. Now they are a computer.

I hope you are doing OK Luke.

Take care,       B.

50 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

I'm just wondering B, whether you are using anything supplement wise to help with the sleep?

Hi @Sminismoni NO, no supplements. I have tried a few, but ALL have had an adverse affect.

Take care,      B.

2 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Hi @Sminismoni NO, no supplements. I have tried a few, but ALL have had an adverse affect.

Take care,      B.

That is very unfortunate. I'm sorry to read about your sleepless nights. I too have nights where I literally feel like I am on cocaine, the noradrenaline/sympathetic drive is so high and I want to rip my skin off I want to sleep that badly. I am wired and sweaty like nothing else. On those nights I will get 2 hours max and nothing works. In the early days I would try promethazine and diazepam but they didn't touch the sides and Promethazine gave me shivers. I am lucky in that these periods last about 4 days, then I get back to baseline of broken 6-7 hours per night (in 2 hour lots), which I can cope with. I am am also grateful that melatonin doesn't make things worse, so I do take that nightly.

2 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Hi @Luke yes good points mate. Yes car parts + labour, my normal garage are £16 an hour cheaper, but couldn't

fix until the 18th Feb. So that closed that one. 20% VAT doesn't help. Now I did see a genuine ABS sensor on Ebay £106 !!!!!

Couldn't just figure whether that was for one or 2. But no my mind is at ease, so job done.  

 

Now you can buy code scanners of Ebay now, BUT if you don't know how to use them, you could end up doing

even more damage and it end up costing you more. Now I used to like tinkering, I have put clutches in old cars,

but I am going back 45 years, very few electrics then, not even electric windows on most cars. Now they are a computer.

I hope you are doing OK Luke.

Take care,       B.

 

You want to see what some main dealers are charging nowadays. I've seen labour rates of £170-190ph for the major German brands in nice areas.

WHAT?????????? FFS, the world has gone bloody MAD.  £64ph, these guys, regular Garage I use £48ph

So yes I believe you Luke, but that's bloody extortionate prices.

Take care,      B.            Oh.....a bloody dentist is another rip off merchant, £££££££per minute.🤔

2 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

WHAT?????????? FFS, the world has gone bloody MAD.  £64ph, these guys, regular Garage I use £48ph

So yes I believe you Luke, but that's bloody extortionate prices.

Take care,      B.            Oh.....a bloody dentist is another rip off merchant, £££££££per minute.🤔

 

Yep.

 

My theory that anywhere that sells things that hands out free, nice coffee is ripping you off still holds...

Your posts from today prove that you are better, dear B., and I am so happy for you.

Svetla

Hi B

You popped in to my head today.

totally grotty here in York, been raining or foggy for 6 days now. Doesn’t help the mood one bit, don’t think it’s the cause  and I know sunshine isn’t the cure…

 But those of us that can’t take supplements and living in England may be short on the old Vitamin D right about now which doesn’t help at all.

 

2 eggs a day is meant to be around 70% of daily vitamin D so try to get some eggs in you, if you can! Hope the nausea has eased.

 

im almost 12 months off, I’ll do my update on the 14th Feb. Withdrawal still behaving as expected, unpredictable, non linear and totally random!!  In a wave at the moment but got to just hope it lifts 🕊️ 

 

I am praying for you that your wave is lifting 🙏 and that as spring approaches and the gloom of winter lifts so does your mood (and mind).

 

I am having some old Symtoms resurface as are some of my healing buddies around the same stage.  Not sure why that is, especially the ones that have been gone for several months….bur sounds like that’s what’s happened to you with the nausea.

for me, I had an awful tummy for ages…at least the first 6 months, then it went!! Back again in month 11 after 4-5 months of not being there….

 

one day this will be lifted and life will be  beautiful again B 

 

take care

Rosie  x