6 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Low blood sugar in town and a bit shaky, so a quick bite on food I shouldn't but it did the trick and got me home.

I also found that I needed to eat something, or have a bit of sugar to take the edge off the really bad times, for a long time.

 

Nothing wrong with that when you need to imo.

13 hours ago, skamen said:

I am so glad for you, B. I hope that will happen with me too. Have you done something to obtain this relief? I do y'know what to do, how to manage this hell...

Svetla

Hi @skamen Well nothing different really, I have been OFF the drug for just over a year Svetla, and this is the frustrating thing, HEALING takes so long.

The neurotransmitters in the brain just take so long to re-calibrate, the drugs causing all sorts of disruption, more so than anyone even knows. I sincerely

hope you see relief very soon Svetla, I am hoping and praying for you.

Take care and keep  safe,          B.🙏🙏🌷

14 hours ago, Marina said:

It's been crazy how my mood can shift just in 5 minutes. A classic withdrawal rollercoaster.

That's the one @Marina Now it hasn't  been doing as much lately with me, 60 day wave and on a constant low

in a living hell. But the last year previous to this last wave, wild swings were regular, all be it more low ones than high.

So yes we just have to take each second, minute, hour and day as they come in a vicious wave. TIME being the healer.

Take care and stay strong,         B.🤞👍 

Morning all, bit of a mistake above, somehow posted twice!!!!

Oh well, after awaking on a 1 after 4 hours broken sleep, I managed to stay in bed awake a bit longer and went on my walk

at 5am. A huge amount of time this is usually 3-3.30am. So anyway I got my walk in and now having had breakfast I am on

a 3 just. Feeling ropey so not just sure. Stomach feels a bit heavy, yet only had light breakfast.🤔 So yes not sure how it's

going to pan out yet. Now yesterday was quite good, after weeks of a living hell, but days alternating from good to bad in 

the past have been rife. So I am erring on the side of caution. Whatever it is I accept.

Take care all,         B.🤞

 

Thanks @NT1100B Same to you. I hope we find the strength for all this.

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

bit of a mistake above, somehow posted twice!!!!

rectified for you mate

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

So I am erring on the side of caution. Whatever it is I accept.

Hope this eases a bit today again. So up and down all this isn't it. Glad you are at least a little better still.

Time is the only thing as ever

Morning all, I am afraid I am in a living hell again this morning. Awoke after 4 hours broken sleep on a 0. A 3 am walk,

this didn't improve my mood one bit, so still in a living hell now, so my lift on Wednesday was just a very brief lift from

my 60 + days and counting wave. Very low and despondent today.

Take care,      B.   

 

Morning B

Im sorry to read this bud. It’s just an awful process this isn’t it and your getting it bad that is for sure. You’ve had the signs of healing mate. It’s ridiculously slow but it’s happening. Unreal all this isn’t it! Hang tight my friend. 
 

Chippy

Morning all, well it feels like I am going backwards. I am into month 13 Off Mirt and I am getting worse. I have managed to

catch a cold from the supermarket on Saturday, even though I never saw any obvious person with a cold. But anyway my

nose is dripping like a tap this morning. I had a day in hell yesterday, last night after 2.5 hours broken sleep, I awoke on a 0.

 

I had a walk at 2am, strangely my nose stopped dripping outside, but back on the laptop now it's like a tap again and with

the wave from hell, I am feeling horrendous. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. From what I have learned

waves are meant to get shorter, not longer and more severe. I truly am at my wits end.

Take care all,         B.🤞

Hey B

 

As I just said on sa. I’m sorry about your cold. It’s certainly making this worse for you and the last thing you needed right now. 
 

There is no set path for healing unfortunately. So unpredictable and non linear. But we’ve all seen the worse improve eventually. Just it’s a hell of a journey to get there sometimes. We are all there with you. Cheering you on. I know this is unbelievably hard for you my friend. But you’ve got this! 👊

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

I know this is unbelievably hard for you my friend. But you’ve got this! 👊

Thanks @Chippy yes I am repeating myself a bit, but yes even besides the cold I am still in one hell of

a nasty, long long lasting wave. So with very little sleep for now over a year, it just gets you down.

So licking my wounds at the moment.

take care,           B.🤞 

19 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy yes I am repeating myself a bit, but yes even besides the cold I am still in one hell of

a nasty, long long lasting wave. So with very little sleep for now over a year, it just gets you down.

So licking my wounds at the moment.

take care,           B.🤞 

No repeat away my friend. Yes I know it's not good. The cold will only be making it worse. Lick away bud. I hope you get a little window today. I think now its gonna have to be dig very very deep for a week to get this cold gone.

4 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, well it feels like I am going backwards. I am into month 13 Off Mirt and I am getting worse.

 

If it helps at all, I went what felt like backwards for a considerable amount of time. Then I spent a long time treading water, sometimes less terrible, sometimes more terrible, but overall just going nowhere.

 

However, I am definitely getting better in time now, and it becomes clearer and clearer that this is happening, even though I am not recovered.

 

Try to keep in mind that you too are likely to begin to improve more steadily, in time. It's a huge amount more time than it should be or that anyone would want.

 

 

You're doing everything right, which is essentially taking care of yourself the best you can and getting through each day, while being kind to yourself where possible. However, this is absolutely exhausting and it goes on seemingly forever. The little glimmers of improved days you've had do not have no meaning- your body is working on this injury.

1 hour ago, Luke said:

The little glimmers of improved days you've had do not have no meaning- your body is working on this injury.

Thanks @Luke that means a lot. Yes to see that you have kept bravely pushing through, and then finally SEEING  improvement,

is VERY reassuring. After catching a nasty cold from the supermarket this Saturday, the last 24 hours have been beyond horrendous,

2.5 hours sleep last night and on my walk at 2am, I was very low indeed at 3am this morning. I briefly thought I could maybe get more

sleep. Zero chance as I was far too wired. So yes VERY good to see you are finally improving Luke, Very well done indeed Bud.

So I literally just have to keep taking it, by the second, minute, hour and day. I will persist.🤞

 

Take great care mate,         B.🤞 

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

I think now its gonna have to be dig very very deep for a week to get this cold gone.

That's the one @Chippy, Yes at the moment dripping off my chin. Half way through a jumbo roll of bog paper since 3am.

Yes and I think it's the first cold in PWD since I stopped. A very virulent one, felt like needles pricking up my nose last night

and early morning, just running like a tap now. Still in a wave from hell as well, second, minute hour and day, I plod.

Take care,       B.🤞

4 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Yes and I think it's the first cold in PWD since I stopped.

Was the same for me. I managed to avoid for 18 months. Probably good I got one. Don't want to loose my immune system as well! Not nice though. You could have done without this for sure.

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

You could have done without this for sure.

Well @Chippy it's life isn't it, I know what you mean though, on top of this wave from hell. But it will be interesting

to see how my immune system is working, I hope it's gone before 4th Feb when it's the car recall.

Take care,        B.🤞  

8 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Well @Chippy it's life isn't it, I know what you mean though, on top of this wave from hell. But it will be interesting

to see how my immune system is working, I hope it's gone before 4th Feb when it's the car recall.

Take care,        B.🤞  

Yes hopefully you kick it to the curb in a few days. 🤞

I relate to you, B. I slept only 3 and half hours this night. Terror, depression, hopeless, anxiety, body pain... I am on my 11 and half month without window, without light, only horrendous existence, living hell. I am also at the end of my limits...

Edited January 19Jan 19 by skamen

3 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Luke that means a lot. Yes to see that you have kept bravely pushing through, and then finally SEEING  improvement,

is VERY reassuring. After catching a nasty cold from the supermarket this Saturday, the last 24 hours have been beyond horrendous,

2.5 hours sleep last night and on my walk at 2am, I was very low indeed at 3am this morning. I briefly thought I could maybe get more

sleep. Zero chance as I was far too wired. So yes VERY good to see you are finally improving Luke, Very well done indeed Bud.

So I literally just have to keep taking it, by the second, minute, hour and day. I will persist.🤞

 

Take great care mate,         B.🤞 

 

I had covid in september, with this, when I was still pretty ill already. It was absolutely brutal. I recovered from it back to where I was before it though (which wasn't good, but still)- it didn't set me back.

 

What is hard, is you have no idea when you might begin to improve. You could be doing pretty well at 1.5 years, or you might not see progress until later. The main thing, is that eventually, many people do seem to start getting better.

17 hours ago, Luke said:

he main thing, is that eventually, many people do seem to start getting better.

That's the one @Luke, sorry about the Covid, but it's life isn't it, we can't wrap ourselves in cotton wool.

We just have to slowly but surely ease ourselves back into the throws of life hopefully. Quite a way off yet

but like you say, it eventually happens🤞. Glad you have recovered again mate.

Take care,        B.💪🤞 

18 hours ago, skamen said:

only horrendous existence, living hell. I am also at the end of my limits...

Sorry @skamen it breaks my heart to read this, I can relate to every word you say. I have been in such horrific mental torture

myself, and being over a year off the drug, it just makes you WONDER HOW can a tiny pill put you though SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!

I am hoping and praying Svetla that you get a break very very soon.

Take care and stay safe,      B.🙏🙏🙏🌷

Hi all, well after a sleep reset between 1- 1.50am  back down to a 1, Now after a 4am walk and back home now on the

laptop, washing machine on, I have lifted to a 3, so a lot better than yesterday morning. The running nose has stopped.

Dare I say it, I can breath though my nose it almost feels like the cold has gone. My nose was the worst I have EVER

known, used half a jumbo roll of bog paper in 9 hours.

So yes if it has, at least my immune system is still working. So yesterday after a horrendous early morning, by 11.30am

I miraculously started lifting, the constantly dripping nose becoming more irrelevant by the minute.

So by afternoon the vicious wave had lifted and temporarily disappeared. The mindset change is phenomenal.

Almost like you are a different person, that's how much the PWD wave mind f***** you up, and when that's almost

to the point of ending it, we have to VERY much remember our windows, and TRUE self.

We are still in there, yesterday was a huge relief to witness that FACT.

So it's keep plodding today, and see where it takes me.

Take care all,       B.🤞

Hey B

 

3 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

at least my immune system is still working.

This is encouraging! Very impressed how quickly you have kicked the cold!

4 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

I miraculously started lifting, the constantly dripping nose becoming more irrelevant by the minute.

So by afternoon the vicious wave had lifted and temporarily disappeared. The mindset change is phenomenal.

Almost like you are a different person, that's how much the PWD wave mind f***** you up, and when that's almost

to the point of ending it, we have to VERY much remember our windows, and TRUE self.

We are still in there, yesterday was a huge relief to witness that FACT.

I so happy for this mate. You NEED this to keep you spirits up and as a reminder in the depths of a wave where you can be. More progress to come.

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

You NEED this to keep you spirits up and as a reminder in the depths of a wave where you can be. More progress to come.

Thanks @Chippy yes lets hope so, I have been out in the car this morning to power wash it, getting any salt off it,

should have done a while ago but with the wave keeping me grounded, or housebound more like, it's held me back.

Normal things in life just become almost impossible with a wave blocked mind. Incapacitated totally. So yes I managed

that, apart from changed machine from coins into card use, I just don't trust them🤔 I could have done it at home really,

but hose real is in the bungalow for the winter out of the frost, so I usually just use the coin washers in winter.

 

Motorbike I always wash by hand, so yes on a 6 I would maybe say now, sneezed once, but nose clear now and just feeling fine,

so yes 🤞that that's been short lived. Tinnitus mid range, both ears now I think, just not quite as loud in the right one. So yes 

the odd symptom, but mind calm now and if it was continuously like this it would be more manageable. Very early morning

reset after poor sleep is the problem one. Not knowing how the NEXT day is going to be. That's the BAD BIT.

Keep plodding.         B.🤞