Hi @Luke yes that's the problem. But apart from the walk we are helpless to it in a way, the Brain is the biggest

consumer of energy in our body, so in healing this cannot be sacrificed  by using too much energy elsewhere.

The brains healing has to take priority. We know by how we feel....if you feel like flaking out, you aren't ready to jog.

So yes Luke I think mild Akathisia pushes me for the walk, but I once did an extra one and boy did I suffer for it.

Time is the winner, fitness will fall in naturally as health comes back.

I hope you are starting to pick up good.

Take care,      B.🤞

 

  

Hey B. I hope you are having a good sleep right now and wake up feeling better. You keep plodding along and one day you'll be skipping along. Take care my friend!

On 1/21/2026 at 11:34 PM, NT1100B said:

my patience and resolve are getting to the end of their limits now. More

windows, and for longer is what I need to reaffirm that healing is happening. So for now it's second, minute, hour

and day, in that order, and am just hoping for a long solid break sometime very soon.

Hi @NT1100B, I am praying for more windows for you. I totally get that we need them for hope. Unfortunately, there are those like Melissa and Baylissa who had many long stretches of no windows at all for many, many months. You did have two recent afternoons it lifted, which is a good sign. Your CNS is calibrating, and trying to reboot 

 

Please don't give up. You can get discouraged, throw things, (try not to kick parrot though!), write naughty disparaging comments about your doctors, whatever it takes to burn off some despair and frustration.

 

You will get through, you will heal, and you are going to be the poster boy of plod and an excellent example for future generations to look up to when they need hope. Stay warrior B.🌊🏄🏼‍♀️💪

2 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

You will get through, you will heal, and you are going to be the poster boy of plod and an excellent example for future generations to look up to when they need hope. Stay warrior B.🌊🏄🏼‍♀️💪

Thanks @HopePerseveres2.0 very much appreciated, I am just taking each second, minute, hour and day as they 

come. Gently plodding along with no expectations yet. I hope you are doing OK and not getting many waves.

Take care,       B.😺🤞  

Sorry to hear your wave is ongoing.

I know from my extensive past googling 🙄 an watching every success story out there on Angie’s page, that some of the people she interviewed say they were just in a hellish state none stop for many months….

Not sure if you’ve watched any of those stories but some of the earlier Ones document this and all of those people went on to heal. Even Steph who sounds like she had unrelenting Akithasia for 3 years….it just went away…..

 

Those videos have given me so much hope during dark days.

 

im in a wave currently. I do find the more I talk about it, oddly the worse I feel if that’s even possible 🤷🏼‍♀️ but hopefully will lift to a window soon.

 

its a very very hard time of year for us here in England right now, most people i see on the school run say they feel miserable.  It’s obviously a different type of miserable but still, it’s worth noting that this is not an easy time of year for most.

 

things will improve 

all the best

rosie x 

Thanks @Its-me-Rosie sending a window your way.🌷

 

Well I went back to bed this morning after my walk and short spell on the laptop 5am. But as I knew, not any chance

of any more sleep. Now I did very slowly nod a couple of times, BUT the horror with just doing that!!!! The best way

to describe it was as I nodded it was like dipping into a very nasty wave, horrible feeling. Concentrated on TV more

and the horrible feeling disappeared, this happened about 3 times with very same result. So stopped trying for any

more sleep pronto.

 

Now I have noticed this before, after I have had my 4 hours quota of sleep, I just felt it more pronounced this morning.

This probably with having been out on my walk and therefore more wide awake. Now a lot do say Cortisol, but before

drugs daylight never awoke me in terror, or the most horrible feeling ever felt, so no it's 100% related to PWD nasties.

 

So yes why 4 hours sleep is my limit, is I suppose related to what drug damage has been done, and how much longer

that will take to heal, no one on earth can give us an answer, we are in the unknown. Now yes most people heal at

varying  timespans, and go on to fully recover. So onwards I plod. Oh....still on a 1 so not lifting yet.

Take care all,        B.🤞

Hi all, I am so sorry for all of us, the Hell is very deep, there is not light at the end of the tunnel. As B. said, the morning terror is awful. I have these cortisol spikes all the night, there are endless, and in the morning they turn to a hellish terror. The mental horror kills me. But I don't have a choice, I must endure this evil. I will try to watch some Angie's video with people who healed from this internal akatisia. I hope one day we all will be at the other side.

Svetla 

1 minute ago, skamen said:

Hi all, I am so sorry for all of us, the Hell is very deep, there is not light at the end of the tunnel. As B. said, the morning terror is awful. I have these cortisol spikes all the night, there are endless, and in the morning they turn to a hellish terror. The mental horror kills me. But I don't have a choice, I must endure this evil. I will try to watch some Angie's video with people who healed from this internal akatisia. I hope one day we all will be at the other side.

Svetla 

Hi Svelta

 

Im sorry for your suffering. It's not right or fair. Yes watch some of Angie's videos and remember how healing happens. Time is key and you are doing great at buying yourself some. We all wish for you to improve quickly. We are here for you.

 

Chippy

Hey B, keep faith! It does not make sense why some must suffer more than others. But for you, faith is about knowing you will get better. You’re strong and will get through this. 

I’d like to know where you store most of your anger over this—some do in their chest, stomach, jaw, clenched fists, etc. I can help you release it out with some somatic work. You can write back here, PM me, or decline the invitation for such work. I just want to shift some of the bracing in your body and see if it makes a difference. It’s an effective technique. Stuck energy or emotions keep the nervous system stuck on ON. 
Be well my friend. 

Thanks @skamen @namastejen1 and @Chippy

 

Morning all, well I awoke after falling asleep a bit soon, after 3 hours sleep at 11pm, not one wink of sleep after that.

The night has been horrendous, the worst ever, pacing though a lot of it, 00.00am onwards. 3.15am akathisia 

pushed me out on my walk, but I was very lethargic and weak.

 

So I think getting anything organised for fixing my car will be left on the back burner for today. I just haven't got

it in me this morning. I will see how I feel this afternoon, but with just 3 hours sleep I will be surprised if I lift from

the -0 I am on now. The PWD is getting WORSE, not better. Very energy draining stuff, on a moral low.

Take care all,       B. 

3 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @skamen @namastejen1 and @Chippy

 

Morning all, well I awoke after falling asleep a bit soon, after 3 hours sleep at 11pm, not one wink of sleep after that.

The night has been horrendous, the worst ever, pacing though a lot of it, 00.00am onwards. 3.15am akathisia 

pushed me out on my walk, but I was very lethargic and weak.

 

So I think getting anything organised for fixing my car will be left on the back burner for today. I just haven't got

it in me this morning. I will see how I feel this afternoon, but with just 3 hours sleep I will be surprised if I lift from

the -0 I am on now. The PWD is getting WORSE, not better. Very energy draining stuff, on a moral low.

Take care all,       B. 

Morning B

 

As a said on SA I’m so sorry my friend.  It will pass, this can go on for an inhumaine amount of time. But it will get better, it’s just getting through till it does. Hang in there buddy and forget about the car. In a better day you’ll know exactly what to do about it. 
 

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy yes if I am out of action, it stays as is for now, but is nuisance not been able to use.

I don't like using motorbike if there's salt on the road, but also my health at the moment just isn't up to it.

Just absolutely useless at the moment, destroyed with PWD. We will see what happens  with time.

Take care,       B.

 

42 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Chippy yes if I am out of action, it stays as is for now, but is nuisance not been able to use.

I don't like using motorbike if there's salt on the road, but also my health at the moment just isn't up to it.

Just absolutely useless at the moment, destroyed with PWD. We will see what happens  with time.

Take care,       B.

 

Yes exactly always an online delivery for the shop. I understand not getting a bike. You need your wits about you for sure! That salt is nasty too. I used to commute all year round. Would wash it religiously multi times a week to get the salt and nasty off the bike. Would break my heart seeing it all up under there.

 

Yes it's not good atm, not sugar coating that. But time, too much time already, but time will get you there.

Oh, @NT1100B, I am sooooo sorry for us. I am also in unbearable suffering, at the end of my month 11, without window not light until now. An inhumaine hell... 

Svetla

14 hours ago, skamen said:

Oh, @NT1100B, I am sooooo sorry for us. I am also in unbearable suffering, at the end of my month 11, without window not light until now. An inhumaine hell... 

Svetla

Thanks @skamen WE will WIN with time. 

Stay strong and please stay safe, WE are with you Svetla,         B.🙏🌷

Morning all, after 4 hours broken sleep I have been awake since midnight. Went out for a walk at 2.45am, and been

on the laptop since. This morning on a 1, I went bag to bed at 2am, but nausea ramped up and was too wired for any

more sleep, hence getting out on my walk. So a horrid day yesterday on a 1 all day, but got my car booked in for Thursday

morning, to get diagnosed.🤞

 

Not really in shape, but sometimes we just have to dig real deep. I will muddle through it one way or another. Now it wasn't

my first choice of garage, it was the guy who fit my new cambelt last summer, so he does know the car. I will just remind him

of the recall on the 4th Feb, and he cannot leave unfinished  work that they will SPOT. That should spur him on.

 

So yes horrible nausea and wired feeling this morning, wet outside now I hear, was cold dry and strong east wind on my walk.

So going for my walk early, helped me miss the rain. So yes grounded for the rest of the day now. Onwards I plod.

Take care,      B.🤞

Hey mate

 

Only couple more days and no more SA! End of an era!

 

Just posted on there as per normal. 
 

Good about your car booking. Hope the guy is all over it for you. You don’t need to be managing him and all this!

 

Cabin bound again. Yes know that feeling. We’re grateful of our little ranches when we’re not good aren’t we. Peace warm comfort. 
 

Well done with the way you handle all this mate. I know everyone is so impressed with your mindset in such difficult circumstances. We are all very proud and in awe. 
 

Chippy

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Well done with the way you handle all this mate. I know everyone is so impressed with your mindset in such difficult circumstances. We are all very proud and in awe. 

Thanks  very much @Chippy I feel anything but that I am afraid, I feel more useless than I ever have done in

my life. So lethargic with zero motivation. The simplest of tasks is like facing mount Everest, so almost like a bloody

vegetable. Nothing is going to happen proper until true healing happens, and I fear healing is JUST starting. I have 

dropped to a -0 after a slice of toast and a few grapes. Feeling horrendous.

Take care,        B. 

40 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks  very much @Chippy I feel anything but that I am afraid, I feel more useless than I ever have done in

my life. So lethargic with zero motivation. The simplest of tasks is like facing mount Everest, so almost like a bloody

vegetable. Nothing is going to happen proper until true healing happens, and I fear healing is JUST starting. I have 

dropped to a -0 after a slice of toast and a few grapes. Feeling horrendous.

Take care,        B. 

You are anything but useless. You are busy on the HARDEST job of your life and performing amazingly in incredibly difficult circumstances! 

 

Argh food what is it with eating and increased symptoms. There a link there for sure. Not just with you, others too. Me included at one point. VERY strong whilst it lasted for me.

Good luck @NT1100B and stay strong. 🙏🏻 Let us know how it goes in the upcoming days.

Edited January 27Jan 27 by Marina

Oh @NT1100B, sorry to hear that.

Thinking of you, hang on in there.

You are such a kind support to others please be kind to you but you know the score now.

Yep, sometimes we really have to grit our teeth and push through and sometimes we have to let ourselves just do what we need to to survive the day. Wishing you an easier afternoon.

Edited January 27Jan 27 by Emsy

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Argh food what is it with eating and increased symptoms. There a link there for sure. Not just with you, others too. Me included at one point. VERY strong whilst it lasted for me.

Thanks @Chippy yes it's WAVE thinking, hell I thought my laptop had gone down 30 minutes ago, froze on me

and lost my on screen arrow, or cursor. PANIC mode. I thought god no, not more expense. Loosing info as well.

A bit of twiddling fixed it for now, if I disappear you know what's happened.

 

21 minutes ago, Emsy said:

Yep, sometimes we really have to grit our teeth and push through and sometimes we have to let ourselves just do what we need to to survive the day. Wishing you an easier afternoon.

Thanks @Emsy yes you are right there, my teeth are worn down with gritting them, I still have nausea, but have been

eating fruit, and even that brings the mood down. But I am thinking as horrendous as this is, I am not going to recover

until I have been through it, I still have lots of Mirt weight to loose, and until recently still the Mirt hunger !!!!! into month

13 off !!!. So loosing the Mirt weight compared to others is coming late. Ones I have read about lost it the first few months. 

 

So anyway, lets see what the afternoon brings, still on a 1 so I am not expecting much change. Wishing you all the best

Emsy, and hoping you hit a nice long window. 

Take care,          B.

2 hours ago, Marina said:

Let us know how it goes in the upcoming days

 Thanks @Marina Will do.       B.

5 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

I thought god no, not more expense. Loosing info as well.

A bit of twiddling fixed it for now, if I disappear you know what's happened.

 

Oh no you dont want that! You have my number so you could let me know if you did get locked out the inter-webs! 

 

Maybe back up anything on there while you can just incase it goes down. Make it easier to recover rather than getting a geek to sort it. Then you can just get a new computer and put all the files back on there from your backup. (USB Hard drive perhaps)

Obviously hope your computer doesnt go down! Dont need more expense!

7 hours ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all, after 4 hours broken sleep I have been awake since midnight. Went out for a walk at 2.45am, and been

on the laptop since. This morning on a 1, I went bag to bed at 2am, but nausea ramped up and was too wired for any

more sleep, hence getting out on my walk. So a horrid day yesterday on a 1 all day, but got my car booked in for Thursday

morning, to get diagnosed.🤞

 

Not really in shape, but sometimes we just have to dig real deep. I will muddle through it one way or another. Now it wasn't

my first choice of garage, it was the guy who fit my new cambelt last summer, so he does know the car. I will just remind him

of the recall on the 4th Feb, and he cannot leave unfinished  work that they will SPOT. That should spur him on.

 

So yes horrible nausea and wired feeling this morning, wet outside now I hear, was cold dry and strong east wind on my walk.

So going for my walk early, helped me miss the rain. So yes grounded for the rest of the day now. Onwards I plod.

Take care,      B.🤞

@NT1100B

So sorry you are having a hard time, these waves are evil but thankfully temporary.

Wishing you a bright and beautiful window right now.

Hang in there.

3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Wishing you a bright and beautiful window right now.

Hang in there.

Thanks @Fullhealing I can only hope for one at the moment.

Take great care and please stay safe,       B.🤞