16 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

I have been out in the car this morning to power wash it, getting any salt off it,

should have done a while ago

Yeah my vans well dirty. Before all this I washed it regularly don't have the energy. I also don't like to get talking to neighbours how I feel. Don't mind a little but often would rather keep myself to myself. Shame I loved chatting to them before. Will get on that though at some point! Salty air up here isn't good for the old girl.

 

18 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

could have done it at home really,

but hose real is in the bungalow for the winter out of the frost,

Yeah I had to use the watering can to sort the washer fluid the other day, Hose pipe useless till it thaws out. Its good now through. Im a rebel and leave it all out for the weather to get on with it!

 

19 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Motorbike I always wash by hand

Used to do mine that way too. Was meticulous over it.

 

20 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

so yes on a 6 I would maybe say now, sneezed once, but nose clear now and just feeling fine,

so yes 🤞that that's been short lived

incredible mate. your the same as me today, crazy what a difference a day can make!

 

20 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

but mind calm now and if it was continuously like this it would be more manageable.

Im hoping this gets a more consistent thing for you.

 

21 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Very early morning

reset after poor sleep is the problem one.

Yes this needs to stop doesnt it. At the very least you've been able to lift through the day again. Not all the time but a patterns forming,

 

 

i am so glad for you, B. 

I pray for everyone of us.

Svetla

18 hours ago, skamen said:

am so glad for you, B. 

I pray for everyone of us.

Svetla

Thanks Svetla, praying very much that you get the much needed window you so deserve. This would show you

your healing, give you stability, then when steady, resume a micro taper off.

Take great care, and please stay safe.        B.🙏🙏🙏🌷

Hopefully you have some more accept "6" days coming up.

 

As you know, healing can often take longer than 1 year, and occasional glimmers of improvement/hope can often start very small at first. Hopefully, in time, they'll become clearer, larger and longer.

 

I think it's likely, it's just more time than is acceptable, and for the most part, the time does not go quickly because it is absolutely intolerable.

Morning all, Well brain reset back to BAD, happened again like clockwork at 2am. Been awake since then as normal.

Was on a 1 again from then, through my 4am walk and until 7.30am when I started to feel my mood lift. Nothing spectacular yet,

I still haven't eaten, stomach a bit uneasy and grumbling now, so will eat shortly. So yes I think the loathsome wave feeling has

gone🤞, but I will see how things pan out after breakfast.

 

So yes still just on 4 hours broken sleep in month 13, and to be honest the last 60 day plus wave has been the most severe. So 

nothing yet I can see as progress YET. But from what I have learned over the last year, is this is pretty normal PWD, or some

call it PAWS. This as I am finding is a long drawn out process. A lot of neurotransmitters in the brain have to be recalibrated.

A slow job. So....it's just keep on plodding.

Take care,       B.

Morning B

 

Yes as you say it's a long and drawn out process indeed. What you are experiencing is not uncommon. We know times is the healer.

 

Glad the loathsome feeling has lifted. Hope you improve as the day goes. 

 

Plod on my friend

5 minutes ago, Luke said:

I think it's likely, it's just more time than is acceptable, and for the most part, the time does not go quickly because it is absolutely intolerable.

Thanks @Luke how's it going Bud.

Yes you are right, healing of the brain is slower than I expected. But as for time, as long as days sometimes drag, the weeks

and months are disappearing at a frightening pace, trouble is so is my bank balance adding to the frustration of time spent

out of work. So yes just hoping things MIGHT get resolved sometime this year.🤞

Take care,        B.

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Glad the loathsome feeling has lifted. Hope you improve as the day goes. 

 

Plod on my friend

Cheers @Chippy hoping the same myself Bud.

Take care,       B.🤞

30 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Luke how's it going Bud.

 

Still in it, but clearly improving in time. Not better every day, but definitely every month now.

 

Early December to now is a significant improvement, for example.

 

What many have trouble with understanding, is if you have been extremely ill, there is quite a lot of scope for improvement, whilst still not being very well. So there is more to go.

 

Thanks for asking.

Hey! I am playing catch up on here. I saw you at a 6, B! I know it went down today, but a 6 is a rejoicing sound to shut up the tinnitus that I suffer from too, for many years, sadly. Your mood will swing back up, B. I know it will. It's like a teeter totter/seesaw with ups and downs and then you can finally exit that ride and be level/content again. It is around the corner. You still have hope, which is a strength. 

Do you like to play any type of sport or even just play catch? Random question for a later reply. I must check a few things and get to work soon. Have a pleasant even and a restorative sleep!

Hi all, typing on here at 2.45am because I am at my wits end at the moment. Not interested in going for

a walk yet, which is unusual, done it before at this time, just can't be arsed at the moment. Awoke at midnight

on a 0 and still on a 0 now. 4 hours broken sleep, but just mental akathisia or something, total feeling of unease.

Yesterday after breakfast was a day of living hell, the food dropped my mood after earlier lifting a bit. Then the

downer just stayed there ALL day, and seems like it's going to continue today as well. Nightmare, it just goes on,

and on and on. NO clear signs of lasting healing whatever, waves getting longer and more severe. So keep plodding

for now, but without improvement it's looking grim from out of this wave.

Take care all,       B.🤞

 

55 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

downer just stayed there ALL day, and seems like it's going to continue today as well. Nightmare, it just goes on,

and on and on. NO clear signs of lasting healing whatever, waves getting longer and more severe. So keep plodding

for now, but without improvement it's looking grim from out of this wave.

Hey @NT1100B, I finally got to check out your new thread! I think parrot might be jealous that motorbike got the logo picture🦜🏍, but your logo looks great!👍

 

I was glad to read that for a few days you lifted to a 6, but very disappointed to read about this l-o-n-g multiple 0 days. Unbelievable! This is where I am angry that doctors are so unaware and clueless on how to help those suffering like this! Some people do get long waves. My waves have sucked lately too, but I have nothing to complain about when I read how horrible your waves have been. You are truly an inspiration on plodding and mindset.

 

If you can, please treat yourself to either a group coaching session or individual one with one of the withdrawal coaches.  It really helps to actually talk to someone live that has been through this. Angie is hard to get now. A few of my healing buddies have used Melissa, as Melissa had very long waves, and were encouraged by her. She may have some tips for you in this long waiting room area period with no windows.

 

We all know that you will heal. We also know how wearing down these bad waves can be, and the lies it tells your brain. If we were all neighbors, we'd be taking turns going over to your house and trying to help you through. So know that we are all praying for you and have your back. Keep plodding. Do not let big pharma win. You got this B.🙏💪

1 hour ago, NT1100B said:

Hi all, typing on here at 2.45am because I am at my wits end at the moment. Not interested in going for

a walk yet, which is unusual, done it before at this time, just can't be arsed at the moment. Awoke at midnight

on a 0 and still on a 0 now. 4 hours broken sleep, but just mental akathisia or something, total feeling of unease.

Yesterday after breakfast was a day of living hell, the food dropped my mood after earlier lifting a bit. Then the

downer just stayed there ALL day, and seems like it's going to continue today as well. Nightmare, it just goes on,

and on and on. NO clear signs of lasting healing whatever, waves getting longer and more severe. So keep plodding

for now, but without improvement it's looking grim from out of this wave.

Take care all,       B.🤞

 

Hey B

 

I’m sorry mate. I wish I could do more to help. The time it takes to heal is obscene isn’t it. I know from own experience things change but I also know until that change happens there nothing we can do to alter our symptoms. You do the best I’ve EVER seen at dealing with this. Acceptance, distraction, plodding on one minute at a time. I really do hope you get given a breather today.
You will have a fantastic life once youve recovered. So hard to imagine now but you’ll enjoy it all the more as you’ll appreciate much more than an average person ever could. 

12 minutes ago, Chippy said:

You do the best I’ve EVER seen at dealing with this.

1000 percent agree @Chippy

3 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

If we were all neighbors, we'd be taking turns going over to your house and trying to help you through. So know that we are all praying for you and have your back. Keep plodding. Do not let big pharma win. You got this B.🙏💪

Thanks @HopePerseveres2.0 for the kind words and encouragement, it means a lot. I had a horrendous

day yesterday, and it's just carried on overnight and into today. So I am not expecting any change for today.

Yes you are right Hope, it really does wear us down, after a year of 20 hour awake days, almost every nights

sleep 4 hours and sometimes less, demoralising for sure.

 

So yes I may look strong on paper, but my patience and resolve are getting to the end of their limits now. More

windows, and for longer is what I need to reaffirm that healing is happening. So for now it's second, minute, hour

and day, in that order, and am just hoping for a long solid break sometime very soon.

Take care Hope,      B.🤞😺

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

You will have a fantastic life once youve recovered. So hard to imagine now but you’ll enjoy it all the more as you’ll appreciate much more than an average person ever could. 

Thanks @Chippy much appreciated mate, well I am afraid at the moment any enjoyable life seem literally light years 

away. I truly am in the fiery depths of hell yesterday and this morning, literally at the point of NOT knowing how I am

going to carry on. Now I have already got though 3/4 of my life so should have plenty of practice, BUT this mind bender

is a total different ball game. Now yes I have lifted many times to being almost near normal, but the wave of late is a different

animal, longer lasting and a lot more severe. I just have to try and hang on to my patience.

Take care,       B.

28 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

I truly am in the fiery depths of hell yesterday and this morning, literally at the point of NOT knowing how I am

going to carry on.

Hang on in there mate. If you string enough days together minute by minute second by second you will get there. It's the only job right now. You do it well.

29 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Now I have already got though 3/4 of my life so should have plenty of practice, BUT this mind bender

is a total different ball game.

No one who hasn't been through this can understand this. It's like nothing Ive seen in my life either. Truly awful.

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

No one who hasn't been through this can understand this. It's like nothing Ive seen in my life either. Truly awful.

Unreal @Chippy I am still groaning my way though the day, one of the worst yet. But yes as you say, impossible

to fathom. A lot more down than up with me the last 65 days, no pattern, just bad, bad and then worse. Hard going

Bud, swallowing  every bit of strength I have got. Onwards I plod.

Take care,     B.  

3 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Onwards I plod.

That's it mate. Just keep it up! The prize is there! I know it's hard to imagine right now. But its there.

On 1/21/2026 at 8:18 AM, NT1100B said:

Thanks @Luke how's it going Bud.

Yes you are right, healing of the brain is slower than I expected. But as for time, as long as days sometimes drag, the weeks

and months are disappearing at a frightening pace, trouble is so is my bank balance adding to the frustration of time spent

out of work. So yes just hoping things MIGHT get resolved sometime this year.🤞

Take care,        B.

 

I know the feeling. I didn't work at all for more than two years, and then it took a further 8+ months to go from 2x 2h days a week to working closer to normal hours, in something low pressure still.

Hi @Luke and @NT1100B, I am in the same terrible situation. I have not worked for soon 2 years now. One year (February 2024-March 2025) in anhedonia caused by Paxil during which the psychiatre prescribed Wellbutrin, Desipramine, Rexulti, Viibryd, Mirtazipine, Trintellix, Lithium at the highest doses. When NOTHING worked, I was prescribed 70 rTMS sessions, 8 ketamin perfusions... Disaster. March 2025 - CT and the withdrawal hell started... Until now.

Svetla

Morning all.

Well I awoke after 4 hours broken sleep on a 1, not quite as bad as yesterday but bad enough. From 2am watched

youtube meditation until getting up at 3.50am. 4am out on my walk in the rain with my brolly, tying to free the mind

somewhat from the wave demons. Didn't work. I was still on a 1 when I got back.

 

So now a couple of hours later I am still in a horrible state of mind, zero motivation, high Anxiety, Anhedonia, Tinnitus,

nausea and all the rest. Existing like this is a living nightmare, and with the wave mind thinking, endless. It just keeps

going on, and on and on. The wave mind distorts EVERYTHING. Makes you BELIVE every negative thought. NOT good.

Onwards I plod.

Take care,    B. 

35 minutes ago, NT1100B said:

Morning all.

Well I awoke after 4 hours broken sleep on a 1, not quite as bad as yesterday but bad enough. From 2am watched

youtube meditation until getting up at 3.50am. 4am out on my walk in the rain with my brolly, tying to free the mind

somewhat from the wave demons. Didn't work. I was still on a 1 when I got back.

 

So now a couple of hours later I am still in a horrible state of mind, zero motivation, high Anxiety, Anhedonia, Tinnitus,

nausea and all the rest. Existing like this is a living nightmare, and with the wave mind thinking, endless. It just keeps

going on, and on and on. The wave mind distorts EVERYTHING. Makes you BELIVE every negative thought. NOT good.

Onwards I plod.

Take care,    B. 

Morning mate

 

Repeating myself from sa but I’m right here with you mate. We all are!

 

Damm wave will pass sooner or later but it will pass. Just keep being the warrior I know you are!

 

🥷🐢

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Damm wave will pass sooner or later but it will pass. Just keep being the warrior I know you are!

Cheers Chippy, yes we know they pass, they are just hanging on longer now.

More patience needed.         B.

The fact that you usually push yourself to take a daily walk is good.

 

All of my actual symptoms were withdrawal for me, but my health has definitely been significantly negatively affected by how sedentary I was for an extremely long time.