8 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

I'll try not to resist it. I think in order to accept this life I have to accept that some days I won't be able to do anything, no matter how much I "need" to do other things like go for a walk, groceries, doctor's appointments...sometimes it might go on for weeks.

Good. Yeah I think you’re right. Sometimes you can only do what you can do. On the days you can do more that’s great. But don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. That’s ok. I find in wd small wins add up! So make them when you’re able. Little goes a long way I think. 

12 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

do wonder if this is still part of Effexor withdrawal for you.

I think there is wd from all the drugs in here for sure. Unfortunately switching to Prozac often doesn’t replace the previous drug. I’m not a fan. 

3 minutes ago, Lighty said:

you can meditate, you can go outside when you can, you can watch tv, you can walk, you can wash your face with cold water, you can tell yourself affirmations, focus on a different topic, etc etc etc.

I have tried meditation and it doesn't work for me. Sometimes I can't find anything I want to watch on tv. Walking I can do only on good days. Washing my face with cold water feels horrible.  

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I think there is wd from all the drugs in here for sure. Unfortunately switching to Prozac often doesn’t replace the previous drug. I’m not a fan. 

My psychiatrist at the time fully believed me switching would go perfectly and I could just cold turkey effexor to switch to it. It did not go perfectly and I am still suffering protracted withdrawal to this day. I was never given another option to taper off the effexor so it was either accept the switch or cold turkey off with no prozac. I asked many times for a liquid version of effexor to taper off slowly and she refused every single time. Evil woman.

Edited April 5Apr 5 by EDP6893

1 minute ago, EDP6893 said:

My psychiatrist at the time fully believed me switching would go perfectly and I could just cold turkey effexor to switch to it. It did not go perfectly and I am still suffering protracted withdrawal to this day. I was never given another option to taper off the effexor so it was either accept the switch or cold turkey off with no prozac. Evil woman.

Sorry. I think that switching is not a good more mostly.  The Prozac bridge is a common move. Can’t understand it myself. For a start it’s an ssri not an snri but even within the same class it never seems to be work out. 

8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Good. Yeah I think you’re right. Sometimes you can only do what you can do. On the days you can do more that’s great. But don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. That’s ok. I find in wd small wins add up! So make them when you’re able. Little goes a long way I think. 

Thanks

1 minute ago, Chippy said:

Sorry. I think that switching is not a good more mostly.  The Prozac bridge is a common move. Can’t understand it myself. For a start it’s an ssri not an snri but even within the same class it never seems to be work out. 

And the doctors who hurt us never face consequences.

1 minute ago, EDP6893 said:

And the doctors who hurt us never face consequences.

No. They seem to be able to go on with their life without consequence. 

1 minute ago, Chippy said:

No. They seem to be able to go on with their life without consequence. 

Hopefully one day this changes and we can finally get justice.

14 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

Hopefully one day this changes and we can finally get justice.

Hope so too. 

@EDP6893  

I hear you, EDP. You got forced out of your house, you’re dealing with binge eating that’s got you frustrated, and your doctor put you through the wringer with meds, now you’re stuck in withdrawal hell. That’s a lot, and yeah, it flat-out sucks.

 

I’ve been through withdrawal myself, serious physical pain, the whole thing. A lot of ups and downs before I finally figured out what I needed to do. I was in SA too, and it helped save my life, so I’m not speaking from the sidelines here. But it took me years to recover because I kept messing around with my medications.

 

I’ve also been a binge eater, so I know how defeating that cycle can feel. It wears on you and feels like there is no way out.

 

Yeah, withdrawal, it is hell. No way around that. But it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now. People do come through it, I did, and you will too. I have some suggestions that helped me if you’re open to hearing them, and if not, I’m still here to support you.

 

Just don’t go quiet and try to carry all of this on your own. Stay connected here, even if it’s just a little at a time. I’m here if you want to chat. There are good people here too, find a few that feel like a solid fit and check in with them. That’s how you get through this.

@EDP6893 

Also, I forgot to say I like the picture you chose, Haruhi Suzumiya.

I don’t know anything about anime, but if you feel like it, I’d be interested to hear what you like about that character.

2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@EDP6893  

I hear you, EDP. You got forced out of your house, you’re dealing with binge eating that’s got you frustrated, and your doctor put you through the wringer with meds, now you’re stuck in withdrawal hell. That’s a lot, and yeah, it flat-out sucks.

 

I’ve been through withdrawal myself, serious physical pain, the whole thing. A lot of ups and downs before I finally figured out what I needed to do. I was in SA too, and it helped save my life, so I’m not speaking from the sidelines here. But it took me years to recover because I kept messing around with my medications.

 

I’ve also been a binge eater, so I know how defeating that cycle can feel. It wears on you and feels like there is no way out.

 

Yeah, withdrawal, it is hell. No way around that. But it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now. People do come through it, I did, and you will too. I have some suggestions that helped me if you’re open to hearing them, and if not, I’m still here to support you.

 

Just don’t go quiet and try to carry all of this on your own. Stay connected here, even if it’s just a little at a time. I’m here if you want to chat. There are good people here too, find a few that feel like a solid fit and check in with them. That’s how you get through this.

Did your physical pain withdrawals keep you up at night like mine, and did they go away?

Also did you ever have huge set backs in your recovery that made it seems like you would only get worse overtime and never get better?

Edited April 5Apr 5 by EDP6893

2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@EDP6893 

Also, I forgot to say I like the picture you chose, Haruhi Suzumiya.

I don’t know anything about anime, but if you feel like it, I’d be interested to hear what you like about that character.

I never actually watched the anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya but I really like the character design. I'm into a lot of anime; watamote, welcome to the nhk, recovery of an mmo junkie, azumanga daioh, the rising of shield hero (season 1 only), bocchi the rock.

The reason I like anime is the art style is very appealing.

Edited April 5Apr 5 by EDP6893

@EDP6893 Here are some of symptoms I had:

Brain zaps: electric shock-like sensations in the head.
Flu-like symptoms: muscle aches, headache, sweating, and chills.
Nausea, dizziness, and imbalance and vertigo which made it difficult to walk. 
Ringing in the ears and lightheadedness.
External and internal tremors, muscle stiffness, shaking hands.
High anxiety, irritability, and agitation.
Intense insomnia. I went for days and days only sleeping a few hours each night and would wake up in the middle of the night shaking and feeling amped up. Awful!!!!
Difficulty concentrating or remembering. Everything felt foggy in my brain.
Difficulty speaking: I couldn’t think clearly, and it took a long time to get each word out.  All of it was pure hell, extremely painful. How about you, what are you experiencing?

 

And yes, I had huge setbacks in my recovery. I actually got worse before I got better. A big part of that was the doctors constantly changing my medication. Every time they made a change, I got a lot worse. They were trying to help, but it didn’t work for me. By that point my system was so sensitized that even small changes, up or down, would hit me hard. 

 

Another thing is that withdrawal is delayed. If I made a cut that was too big or too soon, I wouldn’t feel it right away. It could take weeks or even a month. So I’d keep cutting, thinking I was okay, and then everything would crash. When that happened, it would take months and months to stabilize again. But I did recover. 

 

I can see why you like anime art, the styling is really amazing and creative. I’ve never been to an anime convention, but about a year ago I was visiting a town on vacation and there happened to be one going on. People were dressed up as different characters. I didn’t know who they were, but I thought the costumes were incredible.

 

What else do you usually watch, like shows or streaming? Or is it hard to watch much right now with the withdrawal?

Edited April 6Apr 6 by RachelSusan
typos

7 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@EDP6893 Here are some of symptoms I had:

Brain zaps: electric shock-like sensations in the head.
Flu-like symptoms: muscle aches, headache, sweating, and chills.
Nausea, dizziness, and imbalance and vertigo which made it difficult to walk. 
Ringing in the ears and lightheadedness.
External and internal tremors, muscle stiffness, shaking hands.
High anxiety, irritability, and agitation.
Intense insomnia. I went for days and days only sleeping a few hours each night and would wake up in the middle of the night shaking and feeling amped up. Awful!!!!
Difficulty concentrating or remembering. Everything felt foggy in my brain.
Difficulty speaking: I couldn’t think clearly, and it took a long time to get each word out.  All of it was pure hell, extremely painful. How about you, what are you experiencing?

 

And yes, I had huge setbacks in my recovery. I actually got worse before I got better. A big part of that was the doctors constantly changing my medication. Every time they made a change, I got a lot worse. They were trying to help, but it didn’t work for me. By that point my system was so sensitized that even small changes, up or down, would hit me hard. 

 

Another thing is that withdrawal is delayed. If I made a cut that was too big or too soon, I wouldn’t feel it right away. It could take weeks or even a month. So I’d keep cutting, thinking I was okay, and then everything would crash. When that happened, it would take months and months to stabilize again. But I did recover. 

 

I can see why you like anime art, the styling is really amazing and creative. I’ve never been to an anime convention, but about a year ago I was visiting a town on vacation and there happened to be one going on. People were dressed up as different characters. I didn’t know who they were, but I thought the costumes were incredible.

 

What else do you usually watch, like shows or streaming? Or is it hard to watch much right now with the withdrawal?

I see. I didn't have brain zaps luckily but I have a lot of the others such as dizziness, insomnia and muscle aches everywhere randomly.

It sounds like your journey was quite different from mine since thankfully I have not changed my medications during this protracted withdrawal because I know it's bad for you. Other than me recently stopping the daridorexant because it's not helping my insomnia and the research online said it was safe to stop at any time. In my case I am hoping the withdrawal setbacks and regressions don't mean that I am not recovering and won't get better ever.

One day I'd definitely like to go to an anime convention.

Recently I've been watching these videos where it's in first person perspective and you fall into objects like black holes, neutron stars, the sun, different planets, etc....

Edited April 6Apr 6 by EDP6893

@EDP6893 

Those symptoms you’re describing are really common in withdrawal. They really are awful, aren’t they? It can feel all over the place.

 

The setbacks and regressions don’t mean you’re not recovering. That’s actually a normal part of this, even though it feels like you’re going backwards. You will get better, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

 

It’s good you’ve been careful with your medications. That’s actually really important. Any little change when you’re in this situation can cause a lot more symptoms than the average person would experience.

 

And yes, going to an anime convention sounds like it would be a really good experience for you once you’re feeling better.

 

I've seen a couple of those videos you are describing, like falling into a black hole. I’ve seen some with narration and some with just music. The ones with narration made me feel kind of weird because the guy described what would happen to the body, but the ones with just music were really pretty. I thought both types were really well done.

 

I know how hard withdrawal is. Honestly, the best thing you can do is what you’re already doing, not making changes or chasing fixes, just letting things settle and giving your system time to stabilize. It takes patience, but it does pass.

 

You will get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Edited April 6Apr 6 by RachelSusan
spelling mistake

@RachelSusan Thanks for your words. I wish protracted withdrawal did not waste years of our lives trying to recover from them.

9 hours ago, EDP6893 said:

I wish protracted withdrawal did not waste years of our lives trying to recover from them.

@EDP6893 Oh my gosh, I so agree with you. It is miserable.

Can't sleep again because of this fucking pain. What's weird too is that during the day, while the pain might hurt a bit more than usual, it's manageable and I am not forced to go to the toilet more often. But as soon as I try to get in bed and sleep, suddenly my bladder is in a lot of pain and I have to keep going every 5 minutes even though there's nothing there.

 

6 hours ago, EDP6893 said:

Can't sleep again because of this fucking pain. What's weird too is that during the day, while the pain might hurt a bit more than usual, it's manageable and I am not forced to go to the toilet more often. But as soon as I try to get in bed and sleep, suddenly my bladder is in a lot of pain and I have to keep going every 5 minutes even though there's nothing there.

 

Argh I’m so sorry you are not alone. I find as soon as I lie down to sleep my headaches I get are more pronounced. I don’t know if it’s a blood flow thing or just there is nothing left to distract us. It’s so frustrating though isn’t it. Somehow I manage to tune it out when this happens. It takes a while each time but I sleep over it somehow. Not getting a good night sleep is the worst, makes everything much harder I know. 

8 hours ago, EDP6893 said:

Can't sleep again because of this fucking pain. What's weird too is that during the day, while the pain might hurt a bit more than usual, it's manageable and I am not forced to go to the toilet more often. But as soon as I try to get in bed and sleep, suddenly my bladder is in a lot of pain and I have to keep going every 5 minutes even though there's nothing there.

 

So sorry, frustrating as hell, I know, was there for months, however the last few days it's much much better, just hang in there, it wil subside in time.

Try to remember that this is another form of system working overtime for balance.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by Fullhealing

Now the pain has gotten even worse again -_- today I've been going to the toilet every 30 minutes because of the pain.

Last night I woke up at 4am, so maybe the waking up in the night withdrawal is coming back too?

Since changing the clocks over a week ago the acid rebound is still getting worse too.

Why am I getting worse? Why am I not recovering? I can't do anything like this.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

9 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

Now the pain has gotten even worse again -_- today I've been going to the toilet every 30 minutes because of the pain.

Last night I woke up at 4am, so maybe the waking up in the night withdrawal is coming back too?

Since changing the clocks over a week ago the acid rebound is still getting worse too.

Why am I getting worse? Why am I not recovering? I can't do anything like this.

Im sorry @EDP6893, I wish we knew the answer as to why healing is so non linear. But you are recovering, just the journey there is so tough. Better days will be coming.

52 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Im sorry @EDP6893, I wish we knew the answer as to why healing is so non linear. But you are recovering, just the journey there is so tough. Better days will be coming.

How can I overcome my addiction to take aways and fast food like this? I don't want to get any more health conditions and I'm already 170kg, but it feels impossible to cope mentally with how painful everything is. I can't even leave the house anymore because it hurts so bad. How else can I cope mentally without having to binge eat on fast food?