16 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

How can I overcome my addiction to take aways and fast food like this? I don't want to get any more health conditions and I'm already 170kg, but it feels impossible to cope mentally with how painful everything is. I can't even leave the house anymore because it hurts so bad. How else can I cope mentally without having to binge eat on fast food?

I think the first part of this is accept what needs to be done. Which you’ve done. That is a great first move.
 

Next I would look at your diet and find where to start to change it that is obtainable. Start by getting a smaller pizza. Then add some salad to it. Salads can be so freeking tasty. I have one everyday for lunch. You can put so many tasty things in there. 
Mine look like:

Home grown lettuce (just flexing here 🤣)

A few spinach leafs

red onion sliced

baby tomatoes 

raddish sliced 

grated cheese

cucumber 

olives

Sliced beetroot (pickled)

handful of frozen sweetcorn

 

Then I make a quick dressing or honey and olive oil. Drizzle it on there. It’s so freeking good. 
 

The more you eat good food the less your body will crave the bad stuff. Just ease it over. You will be shocked how much you will adapt. I promise. Just a few baby steps to get you there. 

35 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I think the first part of this is accept what needs to be done. Which you’ve done. That is a great first move.
 

Next I would look at your diet and find where to start to change it that is obtainable. Start by getting a smaller pizza. Then add some salad to it. Salads can be so freeking tasty. I have one everyday for lunch. You can put so many tasty things in there. 
Mine look like:

Home grown lettuce (just flexing here 🤣)

A few spinach leafs

red onion sliced

baby tomatoes 

raddish sliced 

grated cheese

cucumber 

olives

Sliced beetroot (pickled)

handful of frozen sweetcorn

 

Then I make a quick dressing or honey and olive oil. Drizzle it on there. It’s so freeking good. 
 

The more you eat good food the less your body will crave the bad stuff. Just ease it over. You will be shocked how much you will adapt. I promise. Just a few baby steps to get you there. 

I have made some progress with my diet as I've found some apples I like from specific stores (the taste for food can vary so much between supermarkets. Pink lady apples from most stores are tasteless to me but the tesco ones are sweet and sugary). I've also found some more meals I like such as cheese and onion pasties, which for me is much healthier than binge eating dominos again. Sprite zero and lemonade lollies are taste nice and they're very low in calories. Pitted green olives also taste nice to me.

But last night (10:50pm) when I once again couldn't sleep due to the pain, I felt so depressed and hopeless that even though I had this food in the house I still binged on dominos take aways.

At least I no longer binge on ben and jerries all the time anymore?

Is it even possible to manage binge eating disorder during this hell?

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

1 minute ago, EDP6893 said:

I have made some progress with my diet as I've found some apples I like from specific stores (the taste for food can vary so much between supermarkets. Pink lady apples from most stores are tasteless to me but the tesco ones are sweet and sugary). I've also found some more meals I like such as cheese and onion pasties, which for me is much healthier than binge eating dominos again. Sprite zero and lemonade lollies are taste nice and they're very low in calories.

But last night (10:50pm) when I once again couldn't sleep due to the pain, I felt so depressed and hopeless that even though I had this food in the house I still binged on dominos take aways.

It’s good you are making progress! Trick now is to not let little set backs put you off. Just forget it and move forwards. It’s not what you do on one day that counts it’s what you do each and every day as a routine that adds up. 
 

Just find some more little things you can do to help. Before you know it you’ll be amazed by the improvements. 
 

Ps I get you on the apples. Finding a good one is so hard! I’m with you crunchy and sweet is the way forward!

To be clear! I wasn’t always so good with my diet. It’s taken years to get this far. 
 

Used to weigh quite a bit more than I do now. If I look at my wedding photos I can’t recognise myself. 
 

We would  VERY often order dominos. Throw £30 at it because we were too tired to cook. We were pretty naughty tbh. Loved a big stuff crust pizza with the chicken nugget bite things they do. Often I’d get a desert from the too. I’ve never been into fizzy drinks though. But honestly we didn’t eat that great for many years. 

12 minutes ago, Chippy said:

To be clear! I wasn’t always so good with my diet. It’s taken years to get this far. 
 

Used to weigh quite a bit more than I do now. If I look at my wedding photos I can’t recognise myself. 
 

We would  VERY often order dominos. Throw £30 at it because we were too tired to cook. We were pretty naughty tbh. Loved a big stuff crust pizza with the chicken nugget bite things they do. Often I’d get a desert from the too. I’ve never been into fizzy drinks though. But honestly we didn’t eat that great for many years. 

It's good you were able to find healthier foods you actually liked. Currently I am getting dominos every 3 days and I'm spending around £40 each time. Sometimes it's food anxiety or some other trigger, but usually it's because I feel hopeless and like I can't cope without them.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

23 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Ps I get you on the apples. Finding a good one is so hard! I’m with you crunchy and sweet is the way forward!

The ones I like are from tescos. I think "tesco finest" pink lady apples. They're the ones that taste nice. I've tried ones from sainsburys and some independent shops and they were either tasteless or sour in a bad way.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

19 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

It's good you were able to find healthier foods you actually liked. Currently I am getting dominos every 3 days and I'm spending around £40 each time. Sometimes it's food anxiety or some other trigger, but usually it's because I feel hopeless and like I can't cope without them.

It can be very hard to break the cycle. But you have started doing it that is great. Think how much more money you have to each time you make that saving! Mad isn’t it!

19 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

The ones I like are from tescos. I think "tesco finest" pink lady apples. They're the ones that taste nice. I've tried ones from sainsburys and some independent shops and they were either tasteless or sour in a bad way.

I’m going to have to try them. It’s Morrisons near me. I don’t like the ones from there. I do like the ones from Asda or though they are not pink ladies. Not sure on the variety but they are normally crisp and sweet. 

11 minutes ago, Chippy said:

It can be very hard to break the cycle. But you have started doing it that is great. Think how much more money you have to each time you make that saving! Mad isn’t it!

I find it very stressful each month running out of money because I spend it all on take aways. Even though I don't want to buy anything, it's still stressful running out of money. Maybe because I want money to buy take aways? Idk.

10 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I’m going to have to try them. It’s Morrisons near me. I don’t like the ones from there. I do like the ones from Asda or though they are not pink ladies. Not sure on the variety but they are normally crisp and sweet. 

The ones from asda sound similar to what tesco's finest pink lady apples taste like.

I've been going to the toilet every 30 minutes so far today -_- I actually can't leave the house until this gets better.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

4 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

I find it very stressful each month running out of money because I spend it all on take aways. Even though I don't want to buy anything, it's still stressful running out of money. Maybe because I want money to buy take aways? Idk.

Running out or money is always stressful. You’ll have more as you stop buying them. 

Just now, Chippy said:

Running out or money is always stressful. You’ll have more as you stop buying them. 

I do want to be able to have money and save it for things. Even if I don't want anything right now.

Just now, EDP6893 said:

I've been going to the toilet every 30 minutes so far today -_- I actually can't leave the house until this gets better.

Sorry. Awful for you. It won’t always be this way. Just control what you can and accept the rest. I’m impressed with your efforts so far with improving your diet. Feel good about that. Just keep it going slowly in the right direction. 

1 minute ago, EDP6893 said:

I do want to be able to have money and save it for things. Even if I don't want anything right now.

It’s a good move. Maybe you could look at investing. Just get an app from freetrade or similar and buy an all worlds fund. You’ll get a good return over the medium long term. Much better than the bank. 

4 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sorry. Awful for you. It won’t always be this way. Just control what you can and accept the rest. I’m impressed with your efforts so far with improving your diet. Feel good about that. Just keep it going slowly in the right direction. 

Is it even likely I'll get better though? Am I just giving myself false hope if I believe I will get better?

4 minutes ago, Chippy said:

It’s a good move. Maybe you could look at investing. Just get an app from freetrade or similar and buy an all worlds fund. You’ll get a good return over the medium long term. Much better than the bank. 

I was planning to at one point last year but me being forced to move out and the entire 9 month process of that, and now with how difficult the withdrawal is, have ruined this.

Edited April 10Apr 10 by EDP6893

2 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

Is it even likely I'll get better though? Am I just giving myself false hope if I believe I will get better?

No you will. The body wants stability. It’s working hard the whole time to get it. Just do what you can to help it, like you are. Don’t give up on making those changes. It all really helps. Gotta think long term with it all. 

3 minutes ago, EDP6893 said:

I was planning to at one point last year but me being forced to move out and the entire 9 month process of that, and now with how difficult the withdrawal is, have ruined this.

Thats ok. You can do that later when you’re able to. 

1 minute ago, Chippy said:

No you will. The body wants stability. It’s working hard the whole time to get it. Just do what you can to help it, like you are. Don’t give up on making those changes. It all really helps. Gotta think long term with it all. 

If you were housebound, in constant extreme pain, barely any sleep...and you had an addiction to something because it was how you coped with your situation, how would you change if you didn't know of any alternatives? 

Just now, EDP6893 said:

If you were housebound, in constant extreme pain, barely any sleep...and you had an addiction to something because it was how you coped with your situation, how would you change if you didn't know of any alternatives? 

I think you are already. You just have to keep slowly shifting those habits over. Remind yourself when you eat something better that you are doing for your future health. Smidge of discipline goes a long way. You’ve got this. You’ve already started doing the right things. Just gotta keep it going that’s all. One set back isn’t a fal. 

@EDP6893 I hear you about the pain and about the delivery food. If you are not happy the delivery food can bring you happiness even if it is only for a moment. I know frozen pizzas are not nearly as good as delivery but would it be possible to have some frozen pizzas in your freezer where you are living, that you could heat up? I ask because they are much cheaper. Having things delivered is really expensive. I know you will work on the food issue when you can, but in the mean time it might help you save some money. 

13 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@EDP6893 I hear you about the pain and about the delivery food. If you are not happy the delivery food can bring you happiness even if it is only for a moment. I know frozen pizzas are not nearly as good as delivery but would it be possible to have some frozen pizzas in your freezer where you are living, that you could heat up? I ask because they are much cheaper. Having things delivered is really expensive. I know you will work on the food issue when you can, but in the mean time it might help you save some money. 

I do have frozen pizzas but even with those it's really hard to resist getting a take away.

Last night I once again woke up at 4am. The waking up in the night withdrawal is back -__- and my genital pain is still so bad I'm going to the toilet all the time.

@EDP6893 Waking up is part of withdrawal, it is a very ugly part of it. Do you just wake up or do you wake up startled with with we call cortisol spikes? That would be waking up abruptly, sometimes with a racing heart, trembling, maybe anxious? That is the very worst.  Are you able to get back to sleep? While I know it will pass I'm just very sorry that you are going through it now.