Hi @Nemina,

 

Your name kept popping up, so I decided to read al 4 pages of your story! Some great exchanges there. 

 

I share many of your symptoms and also wonder if holding too long when it seems you may actually be sensitive to the drug at these low doses. I hope this longer hold your doing will help your body settle and catch up and doing some much needed healing work. This does take a lot of energy from us and then on top of that life stress and functioning, even if we are keeping it simple (our lives). 

 

I relate very much to your baseline comments, just ok but not feeling much joy. So true. The morning cortisol episodes are dreadful as you have experienced. 

 

We are all in this together and having this forum is just so helpful for those times when we feel so alone.  

 

Your days are getting longer  (ours shorter) so this may help you. I certainly turned a nice corner when we moved out of winter. 💛

 

 

10 hours ago, Tracey said:

Some great exchanges there. 

Thank you @Tracey. Great to meet you. 😊
yes, the days are getting longer and that will really help me. I’m sure. I spontaneously bought a daylight lamp for therapeutic purposes yesterday I. was so fed up with all this fog and darkness!  I can give it back to if it won’t help within two weeks so I will test it. Maybe it will help!

 

I gave up holding now after more than 100 days. It is always tricky to find out whether I’m just prolonging the suffering or whether symptoms are ramping up and the brain is in need to catch up. We will see how it goes. I will go very slowly.

 

sending warm thoughts to the other side of this 🌍 ! Isn’t it beautiful that we can be connected, regardless of where we are? What a blessing.

take care and hope to hear from you

Nemina 

 

 

 

Hello friends, since I woke up again with a cortisol  spike today, again, thought we might could exchange a little bit about what helps us with this terrible symptom. I had this problem for years before taking antidepressants and I didn’t know what it was. It is really astonishing for me to meet so many people here who know about this. Anyway, I developed my own methods to handle it and I am sure you did too, so it will be interesting to have an exchange about it.

 

before antidepressants mine was caused by trauma. So this might not fit for everybody. (it disappeared on the meds and came back on withdrawal).

 
I found out that the way in which I eat makes a huge difference. What I eat for lunch, determines how I wake up the next morning, believe it or not. I think, there is a connection to insulin. As far as I understand it, if you have a glucose spike, the body reacts with insulin then glucose goes down, and the body has to stabilize the whole thing again by producing and releasing cortisol. This stresses the adrenal glands. Also, of course, cortisol is released when you are under stress.

anyway, I diligently avoid glucose spikes by eating always protein, fat or fibers first. Once I have a full stomach with salad, fish, cheese, or anything like that I can easily eat bread or even sugar. You can test this yourself. Have a plate of pasta with a sauce that is neither fat nor protein, for example tomatoes, on an empty stomach, then wait half an hour and see if you get dizzy and your heart starts pounding loud. Or/ and see if you wake up with a pounding heart the next morning. That’s what happens to me. I have the guarantee of waking up in state of alarm the next morning. So you can experiment and find out what diet helps you personally with the cortisol spikes. (no carbohydrates at all in the evening is also not good).

 

I also found out that I have to move my body when I wake up in alarm. Stretching a little, turning around and getting up. Not dwelling on the feeling, but moving away!  Trying to go back to sleep and waking again , dozing away,  waking again is terrible. It still happens sometimes, but I know I have to avoid it.

 

napping is a risk for me. I try to avoid it, especially when I am in a wave.

 

OK, this is the wisdom I gathered from my experiences. I would be very interested in your experiences and what you learned from them. Everybody’s opinion is welcome!

 

 

Hi @Nemina you are right about diet. Cortisol naturally increases in the small hours of the morning to help you wake up. The best ways to minimise are through stress reduction techniques (mindfulness, breathing exercises), sleep, and exercise the previous day (but not excessive strenuous exercise in the evening). Cortisol stimulates gluconeogenesis (the body makes its own glucose from scratch) and yes this induces insulin release. Insulin has 2 functions — storage (fat) and growth. Stored fat is released when we are asleep to fuel the body’s energy needs. This varies depending on how metabolically healthy we are as individuals.

Eating patterns during the day determine how much insulin is released. Both carbohydrates and protein induce insulin release — protein to a lesser degree than carbs. We don’t usually eat pure carbs, proteins or fats, we eat meals. Even something like pasta will contain some protein and possibly some fat. It’s incredibly complicated and individuals respond differently due to things like epigenetics, environment, presence of disease, diet, stressors etc. You can gain some insight into how your body handles carbs by using a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) for a few weeks and seeing which foods cause spikes — these foods are best avoided or in some situations mixed with fat and / or protein to lessen the glucose spikes and thereby reduce insulin.

Bit of a rave I know but I’ve studied this in detail.

 

13 hours ago, Nemina said:

Thank you @Tracey. Great to meet you. 😊
yes, the days are getting longer and that will really help me. I’m sure. I spontaneously bought a daylight lamp for therapeutic purposes yesterday I. was so fed up with all this fog and darkness!  I can give it back to if it won’t help within two weeks so I will test it. Maybe it will help!

 

I gave up holding now after more than 100 days. It is always tricky to find out whether I’m just prolonging the suffering or whether symptoms are ramping up and the brain is in need to catch up. We will see how it goes. I will go very slowly.

 

sending warm thoughts to the other side of this 🌍 ! Isn’t it beautiful that we can be connected, regardless of where we are? What a blessing.

take care and hope to hear from you

Nemina 

 

 

 

Thanks @Nemina,

 

Something to think about, a daytime lamp. I have not heard of them? We are moving into winter in the next months so I will keep in mind.

 

Yep always a bit tricky and I think very personal/individual when to do another drop. I hope you do ok with this one. 

 

Re the cortisol spikes I realised that prior to ad's and as a child I would get very homesick if I stayed at a friend's place. I would wake with some unease and dread which may have been cortisol spiking. Then when I moved to another state as an adult and maybe other times I would get this same homesick feeling in my gut and whole being. Bit of fear and bit of sadness. It was not too intense so I just ignored it I guess. But as a child I would have to get picked up and taken home by my parents. Both my parents have/had anxiety that they have 'managed' but I would have picked up on it from the day of conception. Mum says she gets the morning dread sometimes. 

 

It went away when I started the zoloft 20 years ago and I thought well this is great. That was probably the main thing it did for me, not a lot else. 

 

I had bad cortisol spikes in cold turkey 3 years ago that went on for months. This is the first time they have returned. They are not too intense but unpleasant and feels like, 'here we go again'. 

 

Re napping, same here,  I have to be careful and I think I always have even when stable of full dose. I don;t wake from a dose stressed with physical symptoms but with awful negativity sometimes.  And like you I am also much better if I can move around in the morning and not lay in the fear and paralysis  too long. I want to just curl up in a foetal position and stay in bed, however I slowly get moving and it seems to pass. 

 

As catbird said the relaxation things help me like breathing and meditation and some exercise. Just lately I have missed some exercise days as it has been too hot and I have felt very fatigued. I am back to it as of yesterday just less intense than prior to this wave. 

 

Anyway I hope your mornings are not too intense with cortisol spikes and this drop goes smoothly as can be. 

 

Take care, 

 

Tracey xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have had some better days recently. A bit more energy, more calm in the evenings.

today I felt the wave coming in the morning: sharp sudden flashes of headache, feeling anxious, hearing my heart pound, and being shaky. but then I had a very stressful workday and when I came home, I was only exhausted, which is very very good. 

Wow, Y'ALL.  THIS is a very scientific thread. SERT ....what???

 

I know we have to advocate for ourselves ...but I don't know if I'm capable of solving chemical formula problems! Lol. 

 

Some of us are smarter than others.  Lol

 

On 1/24/2026 at 6:28 AM, sarahw said:

like they were very hardline about the taper needing to be symptom-free, and needing to go super super low before jumping off. (It wasn’t really an option for me to take 6 years to get off, due to lack of support from my doctor for this approach.) Every time I updated my thread on my taper, I’d have people telling me very bluntly that I needed to do it differently, "properly" - the implication being that I was doomed

Hi @sarahw. Thank you for this. Wish I had seen it sooner cuz I've been going round and round with folks here about my not fitting into the "don't cut dose until your w/d symptoms ease up. " My symptoms  never ease up. Lol. 

 

Anyway,  so nice to encounter your honesty.  I feel less alone. 

Edited February 12Feb 12 by mars
Typo

9 hours ago, Nemina said:

I have had some better days recently. A bit more energy, more calm in the evenings.

today I felt the wave coming in the morning: sharp sudden flashes of headache, feeling anxious, hearing my heart pound, and being shaky. but then I had a very stressful workday and when I came home, I was only exhausted, which is very very good. 

So good to hear this. A return of some normal for you 😀

… the evening turned or not so great. Did some cleaning and suddenly had a sharp high-pitched sound in my ear and the ears closed up, got dizzy… when I was in bed I was feeling like being attached to a power socket. I was very surprised the next morning that I had been able to sleep, but I have been. For this I am very thankful.

today, I’m very fatigued and nauseated. When will this ever end? I am in month 16, still tapering and not feeling good. I cannot even say that this is a wave. It seems to be my life now.

On 2/14/2026 at 2:41 AM, Nemina said:

… the evening turned or not so great. Did some cleaning and suddenly had a sharp high-pitched sound in my ear and the ears closed up, got dizzy… when I was in bed I was feeling like being attached to a power socket. I was very surprised the next morning that I had been able to sleep, but I have been. For this I am very thankful.

today, I’m very fatigued and nauseated. When will this ever end? I am in month 16, still tapering and not feeling good. I cannot even say that this is a wave. It seems to be my life now.

That fatigue and nausea is horrible. I was hoping your last drop would be ok. Very happy that you has some sleep, that makes a huge difference. I relate to that always feeling awful and it just becomes our daily lives. Guess we just have to keep hoping and trusting that we will get through this in the long haul. Our bodies are going through so much and working so hard to keep us alive and in some sort of homeostasis. 

 

I go back to the symptoms are actually the body trying to heal and reach some sort of homeostasis. I learnt that as a naturopath and reading it on SA reminded me of that principle in healing. So long as we can tolerate the symptoms and have some sort of functioning. I am glad you are still able to work, although I understand the challenges with that and that totally exhausted feeling when you get home or finish work. 

 

xxxx

And you are doing really well @Nemina, with the length of time you have been on these drugs and how close you are to crossing zero. Keep up the courage and hope, you sound strong and determined to keep going. So much hard work all behind you. 💛

Dear @Tracey, thank you so much for your lovely posts! It feels so good not to be alone on this journey. Thank you for being here, I am here for you, too!

19 hours ago, Tracey said:

go back to the symptoms are actually the body trying to heal and reach some sort of homeostasis. I learnt that as a naturopath and reading it on SA reminded me of that principle in healing.

I would be interested to hear more about that principle. Of course, I have very often read that symptoms are signs of the body healing, but I do still not really understand why for example that cortisol rush that so many of us suffer from when waking up means that our body is healing. Or constant back pain. As a naturopath you might be able to say more to this, this would be very interesting.

 

17 hours ago, Tracey said:

you are doing really well @Nemina, with the length of time you have been on these drugs and how close you are to crossing zero. Keep up the courage and hope, you sound strong and determined to keep going. So much hard work all behind you. 💛

thank you 😗. Yes, I’m very determined. I am very thankful that I already got rid of the Zolpidem , which I have been taking for more than 10 years. It was surprisingly easy. What a blessing.
after that difficult Thursday, Friday was also not a good day. I had taken the risk to accept an invitation to some talk related to my job, but had to withdraw shortly before. I was not even able to get a shower and wash my hair before leaving the house, so I gave up. Sigh. 😮‍💨 but I actually thought of you in this moment how you said to be gentle to oneself when confronted with symptoms…

and then, Saturday and Sunday were quite good! I went for a long walk today, beautiful clouds, and a little bit of snow. 
I hope very much that you will stabilize soon and that you will have the strength for all the challenges ahead of you. take care!

8 hours ago, Nemina said:

Dear @Tracey, thank you so much for your lovely posts! It feels so good not to be alone on this journey. Thank you for being here, I am here for you, too!

I would be interested to hear more about that principle. Of course, I have very often read that symptoms are signs of the body healing, but I do still not really understand why for example that cortisol rush that so many of us suffer from when waking up means that our body is healing. Or constant back pain. As a naturopath you might be able to say more to this, this would be very interesting.

 

thank you 😗. Yes, I’m very determined. I am very thankful that I already got rid of the Zolpidem , which I have been taking for more than 10 years. It was surprisingly easy. What a blessing.
after that difficult Thursday, Friday was also not a good day. I had taken the risk to accept an invitation to some talk related to my job, but had to withdraw shortly before. I was not even able to get a shower and wash my hair before leaving the house, so I gave up. Sigh. 😮‍💨 but I actually thought of you in this moment how you said to be gentle to oneself when confronted with symptoms…

and then, Saturday and Sunday were quite good! I went for a long walk today, beautiful clouds, and a little bit of snow. 
I hope very much that you will stabilize soon and that you will have the strength for all the challenges ahead of you. take care!

You are welcome and we are all in this together. I feel that meaningful and honest connections made with other people and living creatures,  will be my most important value that I would like to look back on over my life and feel good about. Being more of an introvert and quiet, I just a have a few good friends but they are real and honest. 😘

 

I wanted to clarify more on the symptoms being a sign that the body is trying hard to reach a homeostasis. I need to think about this a bit more deeply in the context of withdrawal. We were taught that when a person picks up a respiratory virus that the ensuing fever was good sign as it would help fight the pathogen. You would probably know that being from Germany!  And a sign that the body has enough vitality/energy to mount a response. However it seems that some of our withdrawal symptoms are just too intense and go on for too long to be of any great benefit. As with the cortisol spikes, I can't see they are of any benefit over an extended period and may in fact create other problems that stem from elevated cortisol. So this would be likened to a chronic illness where the body seems to get stuck in symptoms that are not really helping the healing. 

 

Do you know where the idea came from in withdrawal that symptoms (windows and waves) are the nervous system and brain healing? I read it on SA for memory and maybe have watched a few videos. I feel it is more nuanced than just that symptoms are good and a sign of healing. Some are, some not so. I would love to look into this more in the context of withdrawal. 

 

I haven't really given you much of answer! I think I use it for myself to make myself feel better when I am at my wits end and wonder when this will end and what is going on. Maybe a bit of 'magical' thinking. Not sure if it helps or not, reassures maybe. 

 

I am glad you had a few good days after your rough patches. 💛 Yes the being supportive and gentle with oneself is very important. Being a high achiever I often overlook and forget how far I have come. Other people remind me of this as I keep forgetting and thinking, that maybe I should be feeling better or whatever. Not taking on too much or putting pressure on ourselves to do more during this time is important. I am glad you took a sigh and exhale when you couldn't commit to the talk. Good medicine and then you took care of yourself with walks in nature. 

 

We will all get there eventually and maybe we need this time to rest more and find some peace in doing less. Just so hard when you need to work for money. 

 

Hope you have peaceful week. xx

1 hour ago, Tracey said:

Do you know where the idea came from in withdrawal that symptoms (windows and waves) are the nervous system and brain healing? I read it on SA for memory and maybe have watched a few videos. I feel it is more nuanced than just that symptoms are good and a sign of healing. Some are, some not so. I would love to look into this more in the context of withdrawal.

@Tracey I'm acutely aware this is Nemina's profile - I'm hoping you may find this useful too @Nemina.

 

I've just been watching a Chris Masterjohn YouTube video today which may help you with the nuance. It's really suitable for physiology nerds (I go down the rabbit hole).  I'm only about a third of the way through and have already learned so much about serotonin (it was formerly called enteramine because so much of it is produced in the gut).  Here's the link https://youtu.be/lkPUHw1oPd8?si=C_3Bebie7ptQoxd5 

Hello @Nemina and @Catbird.

 

Yes I have been diving into the serotonin physiology with Chris MasterJohn and found the mitochondria information fascinating. I have kept this at the back of my mind when choosing herbs to use. 

 

In regards cortisol being out of whack, we know that withdrawal profoundly affects the autonomic nervous system and certainly puts us in a state of flight and fight, perhaps due to that lack of safety we feel or the brain feels. There are of course  people not in withdrawal that have problems with cortisol. Elevated cortisol in itself creates a bit of a domino effect in the body and may in fact create some of other symptoms. 

 

I wanted to add to the chronic illness/symptoms that I mentioned. In regards western medicine, they have a notoriously bad track record for dealing with chronicity. They don't have much in their drug tool boxes to actually allow the body to move through such disease and truly heal or at least head in that direction. That is just the reality of modern medicine, great for acute emergencies, not so great for chronic disease.  Symptoms are a good guide for us to look behind and work out what is happening in the physiology and ask, "what is the body trying to do"? 

 

In regards helping the body, it is about nourishment, support, and yes attempting to alleviate symptoms gently rather than suppress. Essentially get out of the body's way when it is doing its thing, which is inherently wise and intelligent I might add. I have always felt, there is something about healing that we just can't know or can't be explained by pure reductionist science. Why do some people respond well to certain treatments, herbs, diet, drugs etc and others not so well? This part of health always overwhelmed me and I found practicing very challenging for this reason. There were so many choices to make on what to give someone. I always thought it would have much easier to be a doctor and be limited to a few drugs that don't always bring health, but remove symptoms that troubled people. 

 

Despite this I have always believed wholeheartedly in the power of herbs to create wellness  and healing. Not on their own of course for that would not be holistic. We need good food, community, safety, love, nature and all those good things. I have always had hope and some deep belief that my body can heal and be well, I just need to keep supporting her as we all do. 

 

Hope your are both having tolerable days and going gently. 💛 Writing this has given me a good distraction as I was feeling a bit anxious after breakfast thinking too much. 

Edited February 16Feb 16 by Tracey

5 hours ago, Tracey said:

Symptoms are a good guide for us to look behind and work out what is happening in the physiology and ask, "what is the body trying to do"? 

Agree 100%. I also agree with the nourishment and Georgia Ede takes it further "nourish, protect and energise".

 

Western medicine tends to add "more" (be it drugs, interventions, advice" often to our detriment. I think removing things not necessary or potentially and actually harmful is a better approach in general. In other words "simplify rather than complicate". There is also the tendency to call symptoms diseases, which can be very unhelpful. An example it POTS; I asked my physician about this and from memory I think he said both.  I was diagnosed with SVT, but as soon as I stopped the taper for a while it disappeared and hasn't returned. So what is the actual cause?

 

There are so many variables (too many to count or even consider) that affect different responses in individuals - diet, exercise, pre-existing or pre-morbid diseases, medications, epigenetics, gender, poverty, trauma, social supports…. the list goes on.

 

Bit of a rant I suppose, but it's intriguing.  I can't believe I didn't see these things before, when I could see how much others were suffering.

 

Take care @Tracey and @Nemina. Talk soon 🤗

On 2/16/2026 at 8:58 AM, Catbird said:

I'm acutely aware this is Nemina's profile - I'm hoping you may find this useful too @Nemina.

 

I am working my way through the video and I find it extremely interesting! Oh boy, why have I not learned about all this before I was even taking the stuff? I have been taking Sertraline for the last one and a half years, this seems to be a real poison. But I have not finished the video yet.

Don’t worry @Catbird. I love to have an interesting and substantial conversation on my thread!  Thanks for your great comment!
@Tracey and I started the conversation with the question, whether symptoms are a sign of healing. 
Tracy you asked , where the idea , that is so often repeated in our forums, comes from. I think the idea is supported by the observation that often after a wave people return to a better baseline. So during the wave, which is characterized by symptoms, something healing has been happening. In so far there seems to be truth in this hypothesis.

on the other hand, things like insomnia or heightened stressactivation of the organism are probably not supporting our healing process, it seems more like the cns is just destabilized. 
 

I would love to learn more about how to support my body with herbs, @Tracey. I saw somewhere else you were talking about rhodolia? I am drinking lots of sideritis scardica tea, and wonder, why my Body likes it so much. Right now I have also started to take some pre-and probiotics for my gut. We will see how this works out.
Let’s keep talking, this is very interesting! 
 

by the way, I had better sleep tonight and have a really good day so far.  🙂

Take care, Nemina 
 

Hi  @Nemina,

 

So pleased you had a good sleep and better day. Always helps lift us. 

 

I am not sure I have ever experienced a better baseline after a wave of symptoms. But yes that is where it has likely come from. 

 

Yes we can talk about herbs sometime. Maybe in a private messaging? I do feel what i take is helping me. I know what herbs suit me by now after using them for so long. 

 

I have to look that tea up that you are taking as I am not familiar with it. But if you love it and feel it helps that is a good sign. 
 

In regards symptoms being a sign of healing, I would think some symptoms are and some are not. This may be determined by severity and length of time symptom is present. Symptoms are also a sign that the body is alive and has the vitality to react/ mount a response. 

 

Yes agree with all that @Catbird. Stay out of the bodies way and let it do its thing. Just support initially. Energise comes later for sure. Some herbs will push an exhausted system too much. Things like caffeine do that of course. 
 

Good discussion 🩷. My brain is tired now. 

 

 

 

Hello @Catbird and @Tracey, I hope you are doing OK.

I finished the video today. I was not so happy with the second part, there was more and more advertising of his company who tests mitochondria. Anyway, I think I’ve learned a lot. It’s amazing how complex and far reach reaching the functions of serotonin are. Also, the connection with melatonin was very interesting. Maybe I should try melatonin as a supplement.

The whole idea of the energy generators in the cells (mitochondria ) being affected by SSRIs makes a lot of sense to me. I once said to my husband that I feel a strange kind of exhaustion ”as if every single cell in my body is tired.” and this seems to be exactly that what is happening.

 

my gut repair is on a good way I think. I am tolerating the stuff that I am supposed to take. I introduce it one by one and very slow. 
also, I am testing the light therapy lamp and I like it. Whether it helps, I cannot really say so far.

 

I had today the second really good day in a row!

 I’m very thankful. I still am quite fatigued, but was able to do more than usually. Also, my back still hurts and I have a ringing sound in my ear in the morning. But with those symptoms, I can live very well. I am in months 16 of my taper now. Maybe the burden is lifting. We will see.

 

 

Edited February 18Feb 18 by Nemina

5 hours ago, Nemina said:

Hello @Catbird and @Tracey, I hope you are doing OK.

I finished the video today. I was not so happy with the second part, there was more and more advertising of his company who tests mitochondria. Anyway, I think I’ve learned a lot. It’s amazing how complex and far reach reaching the functions of serotonin are. Also, the connection with melatonin was very interesting. Maybe I should try melatonin as a supplement.

The whole idea of the energy generators in the cells (mitochondria ) being affected by SSRIs makes a lot of sense to me. I once said to my husband that I feel a strange kind of exhaustion ”as if every single cell in my body is tired.” and this seems to be exactly that what is happening.

 

my gut repair is on a good way I think. I am tolerating the stuff that I am supposed to take. I introduce it one by one and very slow. 
also, I am testing the light therapy lamp and I like it. Whether it helps, I cannot really say so far.

 

I had today the second really good day in a row!

 I’m very thankful. I still am quite fatigued, but was able to do more than usually. Also, my back still hurts and I have a ringing sound in my ear in the morning. But with those symptoms, I can live very well. I am in months 16 of my taper now. Maybe the burden is lifting. We will see.

 

 

Glad to hear you're having better time @Nemina. I agree with you on the advertising front - it's really annoying.

 

If you're interested in mitochondrial health you might want to look at some videos or articles on cell danger response (CDR). It underpins chronic fatigue.

 

Stay well 🤗

Also by Chris Masterjohn there's a short video (about 12 minutes long) on methylation which is also very interesting. Methylation is what drives nearly every biological action in the body. The video goes through what impedes it and what improves it.

6 hours ago, Nemina said:

I had today the second really good day in a row!

 I’m very thankful. I still am quite fatigued, but was able to do more than usually. Also, my back still hurts and I have a ringing sound in my ear in the morning. But with those symptoms, I can live very well. I am in months 16 of my taper now. Maybe the burden is lifting. We will see.

So happy to read Nemina. Hope this continues for you. Xxx

Lovely to hear @Nemina 💚

Today was not quite as good as the two days before, but still, I feel that I am on a good trajectory. It is difficult for me to concentrate, which makes my work at the moment quite a struggle and is nagging on my conscience because my output is not what it should be. I hope I can honestly say that I do the best that I can.

But my mood is better! I’m so thankful for this. In the morning during work, the anxiety came back, but I could muster the strength to go to the gym and do a workout. This helped a bit. Tomorrow I have to speak in front of an audience… I am determined to keep up as much of my normal life as possible. Keep my (part time) job. Keep my volunteer work, even if both is suffering a bit and even if it costs me a lot of discipline.
we have lots of snow right now and so much beautiful white color lifts my mood even more ☺️ 

 

The withdrawal makes me much more sensitive to weather changes, so I expect to be even better when the sun will be shining longer, and when it will be warmer.
As you can see, some hope is creeping in here! It feels good.

 

take good care everyone!