23 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh ok, I thought that might be part of the issue as well, I'll start a new one, thank you 🙂

Sorry to leave our chat! I have so many on the go I try to keep it tidy in there! Neat freak!

15 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sorry to leave our chat! I have so many on the go I try to keep it tidy in there! Neat freak!

Absolutely fine, dear Chippy, such a neat multitasker! (;

Update 23:30pm

Hell of a wave for 2 days.

Symptoms:

Physically, exploding headaches, severe pressure in sinuses and eyes, rapid heartbeat with missing beats, super strong tinnitus, joint pain mainly in the lower part, stiffness and muscle pain in the upper part, terrible digestion, bloated stomach.

Mentally, irrational anxiety/panic/terror as if I were suddenly thrown off a high cliff, depression that feels like death, paranoia, aggression, restlessness, intolerance to noise and light.

Feels like the waves are becoming more powerful as I lower the dose, unbearable and to think that there are those who doubt that these are withdrawal symptoms, so infuriating that we have to deal with it on top of everything.

Planing on stopping tapering until there's significant and long-term relief, I need to integrate back into life and not just live in surviving mood suffering and isolated.

Edited May 5May 5 by Fullhealing

Just said a prayer for you.

I’m holding for a long time, too. Solidarity and love across the miles 💗✨

43 minutes ago, Finni said:

Just said a prayer for you.

I’m holding for a long time, too. Solidarity and love across the miles 💗✨

Thank you @Finni I know you have your doubts too, let's hope and pray that's the right decision, you especially deserve relief after such an intense struggle.

Love back. xxx

@Fullhealing Hi, I read your story. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’m also feeling very bad and I understand you. Today I went to a psychotherapist. I had spoken with her on the phone and told her that I needed to stabilize my nervous system, and I had explained my history with medications. She works with EMDR. On the phone she told me she could definitely help me.

When I went to see her, she started asking about my childhood and my parents. I stopped her right away, telling her that it wasn’t the right time to reopen wounds and that I’m not able to face those topics right now. I felt like an ATM to her. She took advantage of me to charge for the session. She misled me. In the end, she told me she couldn’t help me and that she agreed that at this moment I couldn’t do that kind of therapy. But I had already explained my situation to her.

So I understand you. I also have debilitating tinnitus. It’s extremely loud and it’s in my ears and in my head. I was already suffering from tinnitus because of medications, but now that I made my first reduction of Remeron, it has exploded to impossible levels. I have many other symptoms, but I wanted to ask you if, over time, yours decreased in volume. I have it in both ears and it screams. Then there’s also the one in my head. It’s like there’s a noise that moves around—I don’t know how to explain it. Then I have very high-pitched ringing, ears that feel blocked, and reactivity to sounds. I know everything depends on the nervous system, but I wonder why at such high volumes. It feels like I have an airplane in my head. Deafening noises—they’re not simple ringing or sounds you only hear in silence. They are extremely loud noises and I hear them all the time, in every situation. There’s nothing that can mask them.

@Fullhealing , @Gilda , @Finni seems like there’s a bunch of us stuck in time due to debilitating symptoms and can’t move forward

47 minutes ago, Gilda said:

@Fullhealing Hi, I read your story. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’m also feeling very bad and I understand you. Today I went to a psychotherapist. I had spoken with her on the phone and told her that I needed to stabilize my nervous system, and I had explained my history with medications. She works with EMDR. On the phone she told me she could definitely help me.

When I went to see her, she started asking about my childhood and my parents. I stopped her right away, telling her that it wasn’t the right time to reopen wounds and that I’m not able to face those topics right now. I felt like an ATM to her. She took advantage of me to charge for the session. She misled me. In the end, she told me she couldn’t help me and that she agreed that at this moment I couldn’t do that kind of therapy. But I had already explained my situation to her.

So I understand you. I also have debilitating tinnitus. It’s extremely loud and it’s in my ears and in my head. I was already suffering from tinnitus because of medications, but now that I made my first reduction of Remeron, it has exploded to impossible levels. I have many other symptoms, but I wanted to ask you if, over time, yours decreased in volume. I have it in both ears and it screams. Then there’s also the one in my head. It’s like there’s a noise that moves around—I don’t know how to explain it. Then I have very high-pitched ringing, ears that feel blocked, and reactivity to sounds. I know everything depends on the nervous system, but I wonder why at such high volumes. It feels like I have an airplane in my head. Deafening noises—they’re not simple ringing or sounds you only hear in silence. They are extremely loud noises and I hear them all the time, in every situation. There’s nothing that can mask them.

Hi @Gilda sorry you're suffering as well and about your experience with the therapist, so wrong and unethical, unfortunately there are many like her out there who do much more harm than good, we would think that professionals are supposed to help while they are the ones who got us into this trouble.. rude generalization I know but I'm not on my kind mood today.

As for the tinnitus, I don't remember having any before starting the process, since then it's been more or less constant in which in strong waves they are extremely loud including a strange feeling of head pressure, hard to explain as if all the neurons there going totally wild.. I know it's very common but have no idea why and no definitive answers, some say it's the brain's attempt to reboot itself after a strong shock.

May I ask what other mental/physical symptoms you're experiencing? Are you able to function?

Edited May 5May 5 by Fullhealing

5 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 23:30pm

Hell of a wave for 2 days.

Symptoms:

Physically, exploding headaches, severe pressure in sinuses and eyes, rapid heartbeat with missing beats, super strong tinnitus, joint pain mainly in the lower part, stiffness and muscle pain in the upper part, terrible digestion, bloated stomach.

Mentally, irrational anxiety/panic/terror as if I were suddenly thrown off a high cliff, depression that feels like death, paranoia, aggression, restlessness, intolerance to noise and light.

Feels like the waves are becoming more powerful as I lower the dose, unbearable and to think that there are those who doubt that these are withdrawal symptoms, so infuriating that we have to deal with it on top of everything.

Planing on stopping tapering until there's significant and long-term relief, I need to integrate back into life and not just live in surviving mood suffering and isolated.

@Fullhealing you are a strong person. Everything will improve, but you might need to hold long so your brain can catch up with the changes you have made. Once your brain catches up, it will be a lot better going down.

Prayers for you. You can do it

3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

@Catbird very confused honestly, I'm lost as to what causes what and there are no way knowing other than trying so I'll go for a long hold in hope it will work, at least that way I can rule out the possibility of a paradoxical reaction..

I am too @Fullhealing . I'm with you on the hold, not going anywhere for now. I really need some stability 🤗

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

@Fullhealing you are a strong person. Everything will improve, but you might need to hold long so your brain can catch up with the changes you have made. Once your brain catches up, it will be a lot better going down.

Prayers for you. You can do it

Recent cuts seems to pushed me right to the edge of my ability, I can only hope a long hold will provide significant improvement, time will tell.. thank you @Raymond

Edited May 6May 6 by Fullhealing

12 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Yes, seems like the recent cuts have pushed me right to the edge of my ability, I can only hope a long hold will provide significant improvement, time will tell.. thank you @Raymond

Remember for every cut to allow four to five weeks hold, but in your case and due to your medical history, you will need to hold months before doing cuts again. Last time, I hold 6 months. Next cut, I will try to do bigger cuts, but no more than 3% if I can. I have read many people gets better after the first two years or longer before successfully Taper the medication. Everyone is different and it also depends in different factors such as medications, time on them, etc.

Unfortunately, these drugs made our CNS sensitive and dependable. It's hard, but many have successfully came out of them.

Prayers, hope, and patience....and of course support from each other.

@Fullhealing Sorry to hear of your suffering, its certainly not kind to us. Its really disagreeing with your recent cuts ,it's like it's saying we're not giving up this drug so easily., but you have taken some away and yes its fighting back but ultimately it will give up its fight and you will emerge from this with victory . You are too strong and determined to let this win ,you've got this ,keep up the good fight ❤️

16 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Remember for every cut to allow four to five weeks hold, but in your case and due to your medical history, you will need to hold months before doing cuts again. Last time, I hold 6 months. Next cut, I will try to do bigger cuts, but no more than 3% if I can. I have read many people gets better after the first two years or longer before successfully Taper the medication. Everyone is different and it also depends in different factors such as medications, time on them, etc.

Unfortunately, these drugs made our CNS sensitive and dependable. It's hard, but many have successfully came out of them.

Prayers, hope, and patience....and of course support from each other.

Thank you @Raymond I thought that with much smaller percentages the blow would be softer, but perhaps I should have given the system more than 1-2 months to narrow the gap, the doubt of a paradoxical reaction still strongly there but I have to give it a chance in the hope of at least ruling out that possibility, the brutality of experimenting on ourselves as no one has a clue is absurd and infuriating but that's what we stuck with..

Edited May 6May 6 by Fullhealing

57 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing Sorry to hear of your suffering, its certainly not kind to us. Its really disagreeing with your recent cuts ,it's like it's saying we're not giving up this drug so easily., but you have taken some away and yes its fighting back but ultimately it will give up its fight and you will emerge from this with victory . You are too strong and determined to let this win ,you've got this ,keep up the good fight ❤️

The recent tsunamis have managed to knock me so hard into the depths of the abyss where light is so hard to find, so thank you @Beehive and everyone who passing by my thread and gives much needed boost of strength, I wouldn't have been able to survive without it, so very grateful.

Hope you are doing well. xxxx

Edited May 6May 6 by Fullhealing

Sending some love @Fullhealing It is a good idea to hold for some stablity. Generally you want 'WD normal' low base line symptoms before making a cut, cutting with moderate symptoms is too much for the nervous system, it is trying to stablise and then it has to adapt to lower drug levels at the same time. It can be too much and make things worse. So I would be looking for a good period of 1-3/10 symptoms before making any more reduction if it were me. Hope your day is better day amazing Fullhealing xxx

8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sending some love @Fullhealing It is a good idea to hold for some stablity. Generally you want 'WD normal' low base line symptoms before making a cut, cutting with moderate symptoms is too much for the nervous system, it is trying to stablise and then it has to adapt to lower drug levels at the same time. It can be too much and make things worse. So I would be looking for a good period of 1-3/10 symptoms before making any more reduction if it were me. Hope your day is better day amazing Fullhealing xxx

Yes, I'll go for it, definitely need much more stability to continue.

Hope you are doing well for now dear @Chippy wonderful and easy day to you as well. xxxx

5 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Yes, I'll go for it, definitely need much more stability to continue.

Hope you are doing well for now dear @Chippy wonderful and easy day to you as well. xxxx

Sounds like a good plan!

Bit wavy at the moment Fullhealing but I'll be ok, onwards we go!!!

Wishing you a better day xxxx

7 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sounds like a good plan!

Bit wavy at the moment Fullhealing but I'll be ok, onwards we go!!!

Wishing you a better day xxxx

Oh, so sorry to hear that @Chippy you know how strong and resilient you are against all the changing climate, you got this 👊 onwards we go indeed. xxxx

@Fullhealing I know its hitting hard but remember there is a reason for it, you have made a reduction . As hard as it is at least you have a reason and it's not just random .So it's a case of ..ok I've made a cut its disagreeing with me and its punishing me but it won't keep it up it will adjust I just need to hang on and wait for it to settle .You can do this 🙏

5 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

The recent tsunamis have managed to knock me so hard into the depths of the abyss where light is so hard to find, so thank you @Beehive and everyone who passing by my thread and gives much needed boost of strength, I wouldn't have been able to survive without it, so very grateful.

Hope you are doing well. xxxx

We all need a break sometimes. Remember, recovery isn't a race and happens at its own pace. The important thing is you're doing all the right things. Take the advice you give other members are be kind to yourself!

Update 11:00pm

Horrendous last two days.

Symptoms just keep piling up, burning sensation, rapid heart beat, air hunger, body aches, fear/terror/catastrophe from literally nothing at full force which slides into sleep and jump me up with crazy cortisol, screaming tinnitus and a awful feeling of dying in agony world..

my poor CNS begging for break so that's what I'm going to do until this rage fades.

These evil toxic chemicals, truly unbelievable.

Praying for more sane seconds.

6 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 11:00pm

Horrendous last two days.

Symptoms just keep piling up, burning sensation, rapid heart beat, air hunger, body aches, fear/terror/catastrophe from literally nothing at full force which slides into sleep and jump me up with crazy cortisol, screaming tinnitus and a awful feeling of dying in agony world..

my poor CNS begging for break so that's what I'm going to do until this rage fades.

These evil toxic chemicals, truly unbelievable.

Praying for more sane seconds.

Oh @Fullhealing this is terrible, Im sorry to hear, I was thinking I was not sure how you were this last few days. You are so brave and strong, this is very tough for you atm. As we always say, more symptoms, more healing. Time will see this right. I think your hold is a very smart move.

🛡️⚔️❤️👊

31 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Oh @Fullhealing this is terrible, Im sorry to hear, I was thinking I was not sure how you were this last few days. You are so brave and strong, this is very tough for you atm. As we always say, more symptoms, more healing. Time will see this right. I think your hold is a very smart move.

Feels like an endless exploration of all the hidden corners of hell.. Ugh.. what a journey..

Sorry for the dark mind today, this too shall pass we know.

Hope your day is much brighter today dear lovely @Chippy