4/30/26

I had a very activated day yesterday. Big vestibular symptoms, too. Inner vibrations and some shaking hands morning…pacing morning and midday. Some terror and twisting sensations in stomach that would surge at times.

Attended taper support circle evening.

Good appetite afternoon and evening.

Big pounding sensations and vibrations increased in the evening as well.

Watched some deleted scenes from love on the spectrum and an Appletv series.

Played NYT games.

9:15 pm took 14 mg mirt (reduced from .1026 g to .1020 g)

10:00 pm heat, rumbling, and pounding came back

Then I slept until around 4:30 AM

Deep headache, and a lot of deep electricity, rotary motor feelings and terror going on now at 6:30 am.

Regret reduction

I totally expected to feel relief. I really really did like almost immediately when I reduced in February -and now I just feel worse. I’m very scared at how intense this is.

Something deep within me last night said wait a minute you haven’t gone six weeks before making a change….. and is your head hurt hurting? No you haven’t been having headaches at all. Maybe I should’ve counted that as a win.

It’s the it’s the te*ro* that is affecting me the most right now and the head pressure. And just that feeling like something is not at all safe.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Finni

Just now, Finni said:

I totally expected to feel relief. I really really did like almost immediately and now I just feel worse and I’m very very scared at how intense this is.

Something deep within me last night said wait a minute you haven’t gone six weeks before making a change….. and is your head hurt hurting? No you haven’t been having headaches at all. Maybe I should’ve counted that as a win.

It’s the it’s the horrible terror that is affecting me the most right now and the head horrible head pressure.

just surrender to it, it's just highs and lows that play with you, you just stop believing them and deal logically with the symptoms, you know it's another wave that will pass and then come back and pass.

4 hours ago, Finni said:

I totally expected to feel relief. I really really did like almost immediately when I reduced in February -and now I just feel worse. I’m very scared at how intense this is.

Something deep within me last night said wait a minute you haven’t gone six weeks before making a change….. and is your head hurt hurting? No you haven’t been having headaches at all. Maybe I should’ve counted that as a win.

It’s the it’s the te*ro* that is affecting me the most right now and the head pressure. And just that feeling like something is not at all safe.

Hey @Finni it is quite expected to not feel positive change immediately, this of course does not indicate anything.

You know the complexity of the process, so waves of varying intensity will hit.

Just remember how grateful your system will be by cleaning this poison out as well as you are very strong to deal with the temporary consequences that most likely will come.

Keep up the bravery! xxxx

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Fullhealing

Thinking of you @Finni I know today has been rough and your reduction didn’t go as you planned. I hope you feel better as the day goes on and get out on the golf cart. Xxx

49 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Thinking of you @Finni I know today has been rough and your reduction didn’t go as you planned. I hope you feel better as the day goes on and get out on the golf cart. Xxx

It’s this is really over the top

My body wasn’t ready for another reduction apparently

I think I need to just go back to .1026 g

1 minute ago, Finni said:

It’s this is really over the top

My body wasn’t ready for another reduction apparently

I think I need to just go back to .1026 g

Only you know if that’s the right move @Finni wish there were certainties in all this. Xxx

26 minutes ago, Finni said:

It’s this is really over the top

My body wasn’t ready for another reduction apparently

I think I need to just go back to .1026 g

@Finni I don't see any change from the latest updates and the chance of a worsening in such a short time is slim so most likely this is anxiety talking, but you're feeling it yourself, if you think it's right to go back up again, then go for it, just try to keep your expectations realistic, it won't be symptom-free in any case unfortunately..

Sending you healing, strength, and a big hug. xxxx

You can get through any stage, no matter how difficult it is!

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

Sending you healing, strength, and a big hug. xxxx

You can get through any stage, no matter how difficult it is!

💯 xxx

Hello -

I’m just popping in to say please don’t worry about me if I’m not on the forum for a while.

Just need to step away and get direction from just a couple of people for now.

Gotta hunker down and hold at my usual .1026 g for awhile longer until my cns can handle a change.

Love to all 💕💕

@Finni You need to do what feels right for you ,so I'm sure everyone will understand. This whole process is so unpredictable hope and pray you find stability and peace soon 🙏

11 hours ago, Finni said:

Hello -

I’m just popping in to say please don’t worry about me if I’m not on the forum for a while.

Just need to step away and get direction from just a couple of people for now.

Gotta hunker down and hold at my usual .1026 g for awhile longer until my cns can handle a change.

Love to all 💕💕

Hey @Finni You must do what you need to do. We are here for you when you need. I hope things stablise for your soon. xxxx

I’m in a scary situation. I tried to reduce to .1020 g and then went right back to .1026 g after being shocked by severity of withdrawal.

Now I’m even more reactive to mirtazapine and more reactive to what I’m assuming is cortisol and also as the mirtazapine levels drop in afternoon and evening.

I really wish I had never reduced.

Akasthisia is violent now.

I didn’t realize I was stable compared to this.

Not sure what to do.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

I’m in a scary situation. I tried to reduce to .1020 g and then went right back to .1026 g after being shocked by severity of withdrawal.

Now I’m even more reactive to mirtazapine and more reactive to what I’m assuming is cortisol and also as the mirtazapine levels drop in afternoon and evening.

I really wish I had never reduced.

Akasthisia is violent now.

I didn’t realize I was stable compared to this.

Not sure what to do.

Hey Finni,

This is awful. I can see a pattern though. Each time you think you are at your worse, you eventually decide to reduce your dose, only to discover there is a worse state underneath it. This is a cruel place to find yourself.

I can only say, based on this pattern, that a very long hold without chasing relief with changes in doses is the right course.

Your only other option is to keep tapering, but that doesn't seem to be possible for you right now, and jumping doses around is never good.

I wish there was more that could be done. But we know that sometimes, very long holds are required to allow the body to work all this complexity out for us.

24 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hey Finni,

This is awful. I can see a pattern though. Each time you think you are at your worse you eventually decide to reduce your dose, only to discover there is a worse state underneath it. This is a cruel place to find yourself.

I can only say, based on this pattern, that a very long hold without chasing relief with changes in doses is the right course.

Your only other option is to keep tapering, but that doesn't seem to be possible for you right now, and jumping doses around is never good.

I wish there was more that could be done. But we know that sometimes, very long holds are required to allow the body to work all this complexity out for us.

Reductions have brought almost immediate relief in the past, so I was blindsided.

I wish like everything I could have known what was coming. It’s beyond anything I could’ve imagined, and it’s do hard to believe I’ll get back to where I was.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

Reductions have brought almost immediate relief in the past, so I was blindsided.

I wish like everything I could have known what was coming. It’s beyond anything I could’ve imagined, and it’s do hard to believe I’ll get back to where I was.

So maybe this is the sign, that a hold is the right path. It is awful that we have to trial and error our way out of all of this. I hate this for you Finni. Trust your body to level out.

@Finni I’m at a similar dose to you but a different drug. I feel completely stuck at the moment and a lot of things are getting worse. New and intense symptoms. I knew it would get more difficult though not how intense things would be. I haven’t had severe akathisia like you describe and I feel for you. 😢

16 minutes ago, Catbird said:

@Finni I’m at a similar dose to you but a different drug. I feel completely stuck at the moment and a lot of things are getting worse. New and intense symptoms. I knew it would get more difficult though not how intense things would be. I haven’t had severe akathisia like you describe and I feel for you. 😢

Thank you 🩷

I’m so sorry you’re suffering.

The a.k.a. doesn’t last all day, thankfully- just very intense when it hits

54 minutes ago, Catbird said:

I’m at a similar dose to you but

I’m still at a pretty high dose milligram wise

I was stating the pill weight

It looks like you’re getting close to zero 👏

Hi, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. How do you know how much you’re reducing? How are you able to be so precise? Do you use the liquid form?

@Gilda

I bought scales that measure .0000 g

AND (A&D) model EJ-54D2

Edited May 6May 6 by Finni

5 hours ago, Gilda said:

Hi, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. How do you know how much you’re reducing? How are you able to be so precise? Do you use the liquid form?

Same @Finni xxx

Big reaction to mirt after 9:15 dose

Almost immediate agitation and restlessnes, nausea

4:30 am Still going- deep buzzing, ter*o*, agitation rising and twisting in gut

1 hour ago, Finni said:

Big reaction to mirt after 9:15 dose

Almost immediate agitation and restlessnes, nausea

4:30 am Still going- deep buzzing, ter*o*, agitation rising and twisting in gut

So sorry this is present for you @Finni . I had a terrible time trying to reduce Mirtazapine. I did a 6 month taper (same story as others - way too fast) as my doctor said it would be fine. I ended in a heap with severe agitation and distress. I was put back on my SSRI which I'm currently tapering now. However it looks like you've been on the same dose for at least 2 months and having severe WD symptoms. I feel for you. I've had a wrenching gut for 8 days now so I empathise. 🤗